#a child who watched wataru accept that they couldn't be saved and watched as the least gleam of hope fell in front of his eyes

[raelyn-dreams]

So I was looking through Rei's appellations and:

This is so fucking sad???

SHU CALLED HIM HIS FRIEND. HE'S STILL ONE OF NATSUME'S BELOVED NII-SAN'S. THEY LOVED HIM SO MUCH, THEY STILL LOVE HIM UNCONDITIONALLY.

Even when Kanata would've drowned himself if not for Chiaki grabbing him, even when Shu was being barely kept alive by a desperate Mika, even when Wataru smiled and tried to reassure them as he calmly walked to his execution, even when Natsume could only cry from the shadows - none of them ever resented him for it.

But Rei resents himself, because he couldn't save them, or Ritsu, or Koga, or anyone he cared about.

And that is why he can't let them be that close - it'll only hurt them more when he lets them down again.

#rei does everything now under the guise of being this wise serene grandfather who knows all the answers #a child who did everything to find his brother a cure only for ritsu to resent him for leaving him scared and vulnerable #a child who tried so hard to lead them and could only react in horror when shu and kanata were executed #a child who so desperately tried to shield natsume from the worst and later realized how much more he hurt watching his nii-san's suffer #a child who watched wataru accept that they couldn't be saved and watched as the least gleam of hope fell in front of his eyes #But he was a child. He was 17 years old. #shu and wataru and kanata were too #they were the age of tori tetora midori shinobu hiiro hinata yuta tomoya hajime mitsuru tsukasa and sora and they were being executed #natsume was aira and kohaku's age. and instead of squealing over idols and engaging in harmless mischief he was fighting to survive #fucking hell they make me so emotional #ensemble stars #enstars #five eccentrics #five oddballs #enstars relationships #enstars appellations #rei sakuma #kanata shinkai #wataru hibiki #natsume sakasaki #shu itsuki