#alarming collective knowledge of extradition laws that doubles when they adopt Essen

[villainihavedonethymotheronao3]

vox machina: half of a coed secret society currently facing university crackdown due to excessive rowdiness and flagpole scaling get a sizable townhouse; there they handle lizard escapes, child support requests, police scrutiny, many villainous professors, and members who won't stop getting engaged to each other.

the mighty nein: paranoid houseboat owners renting the absolutely cheapest moorings at a marina in a midsized european canal city band together against judgemental neighbors/local boat safety inspections/the concept of decay/ecosystem degradation in their waterways/their own dark pasts/two art-student ass cults; against all odds succeed at everything.

bell’s hells: posters on a queer housing page in toronto pack 6-11 people (depending on the day) into a two bedroom; ping-pong between icily polite spy warfare and cloying codependence, all while ostensibly working together to save a critically endangered species of salamander—end up involved in years old industrial drama opposing their friend’s shady mining corporation mom.

#critical role #vox machina WOULD be a frat but they’re too British #so instead they’re a nightclimbers ripoff somewhere on the US east coast #half of them have engagement rings by the end of senior year #an overlapping half go on to be respected leaders #this is why you always argue down the drunk and disorderly charges #the mighty nein are a minor municipal terror in cluj-napoca or split #maybe Amsterdam? #at least one of them has a fake passport and they all refuse to talk to cops #alarming collective knowledge of extradition laws that doubles when they adopt Essen #despite beau (or perhaps because) beau works at a respected human rights ngo #and bells hells have subdivided their living room with plywood sheets and once got visited by csis #fortunately Orym’s security clearance is lapsed unfortunately they’re never going to give him one again #they have vague aspirations of retiring to the middle of nowhere one day but can’t imagine living apart #they have and will let people they just met tonight crash on their floor (the couch is taken)