#almost 25 and being here reduces me to a neurotic freak just to avoid these people and their bullshit

[samwisefamgee]

family sucks :)

#they literally want me dead #and have for over a decade #but wont let me leave #and force me to do their work for all these years #just to still want me dead ASAP #sooner the better #i seriously fucked up my back literally stretching in my chair yesterday #and i cant see anyone about it #and i cant even leave this cat shit filled basement without being forced to pour and move concrete for 2 hours #if i suffer a permanent physical damage from anything here im killing them and then myself #stalked every second of every day if im not free labor im a fucking psychological punching bag for the drunk who ruined my already shit lif #someone please fucking kill me #i dont have cash or the mental or physical help to get my life together & the only family i can depend on wants my work & then wants me dea #i cant even move (literally make a sound at all!!!!) without him hearing and getting up to pace around looking in doors and windows for me #eventually he just drops the charade and comes in to tell me to work #if he isnt drunk already or busy fucking up someone elses day (best case scenario only time im safe to be left alone) #almost 25 and being here reduces me to a neurotic freak just to avoid these people and their bullshit #and GOD FORBID i get caught not having a shitty time during this period or i will be bitched at for not working 25/8 #i just eant my fucking life together. i was so FUCKING CLOSE right before the pandemic i had a JOB i was gonna move in with people who dont #hate me or want me dead or anything insane #and then it aaaaall just haaaad to go to shit huh #im just tired #ive been tired #and i will never get real rest here unless im alone #and even then i dread when im not