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yukiwrites · 5 years

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Corrin, Meeting with Oneself

Thank you so much for the support and the patience, @xpegasusuniverse ! I cried a bit writing this açlsdkmasd I hope you like it!

Summary: After meeting her sister in Askr, Felicia went to tell her Lord Corrin about the miracle. Flora, alive! And serving a female ‘Lord’ Corrin, as well! What wonder! On her side, Flora told her Lady Corrin about what had happened and both Prince and Princess have the same idea: to meet with their other selves.

Commission info HERE and HERE!

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Ever since being summoned to Askr, Corrin realized that that world had some very peculiar properties. It felt nothing like any DeepRealm she had visited back in Nohr, neither did it feel like an OutRealm... It had a different kind of atmosphere entirely.

The very air felt as though it was filled with magic, the miniscule, flickering dust moving on its own without the aid of any draft of wind.

Caught up in one such wonderings after an entire day of fighting for Askr, Corrin had returned to Krakenburg castle alongside her maid, Flora. The blue haired woman walked in silence, lost in thought, not at all fussing over Corrin as she usually did.

Noticing the strange kind of peace after returning home in silence, Corrin glanced at her maid: the expression she saw was a somber one. "Flora? What's wrong?"

Still deep in thought, the maid simply took one hand to her chin in thought. "I must return to Felicia and tell her I'll never leave again..." she said more to herself than to her master.

"Huh?" Corrin tilted her head to the side in confusion.

Gasping, Flora raised her head. "Oh! F-forgive me for spacing out like that, my Lady! D-did you need anything?"

The princess narrowed her eyes. "Only for you to tell me what's wrong. You're always so focused on your work I actually kind of missed your nagging!"

"N-nagging? Surely you jest, milady. I'm simply committed to-"

"Yes, yes," Corrin dismissed Flora's excuse. "Now, the answer? Or is it something private you'd rather share with your sister?"

Flora looked down for a beat, her pigtails dangling over her shoulders. "I... suppose milady has the right to now." She mumbled before raising her gaze to her master. "Today, I met another Felicia back in Askr. A Felicia from another world, completely different from this one, yet the same."

Corrin felt the depths of her core freeze, the secret wonderings prickling her chest with fear. "W-what're you talking about, Flora? A-another world?" She tried to dodge the possibility of her innermost guilt flourishing back into her mind. "I know Askr is a strange world and all, but surely-"

Flora's silence and unwavering gaze made Corrin slowly lose her words. "That Felicia came from a world... where I-" she choked, trying not to say the word. "Where I wasn't there with her anymore."

The princess had to clutch her chest in a vain attempt to keep her mended heart from breaking yet again. "D-did..." her voice died, and for a good minute, it stayed mute; her eyes burning. "Did I choose to stay in Hoshido in that world?"

Flora simply looked down, the lump in her throat making it difficult to speak. She nodded so softly, so briefly, the gesture might as well have been Corrin's imagination.

Another world.

One that she chose to stay with her birth family instead of her found one.

A world where the war ended, but another side remained victorious. Could she have lived with the choice? Could she have accepted herself? How did her other self coped with it?

"She also said-" Flora's whisper broke the silence so suddenly it made the princess flinch. "that she serves a 'Lord' Corrin in her world."

"A world where I'm born as a man... And yet history still set its course towards war and destruction." Corrin's lips trembled. "Is there no safe path? No right way to end the war? Is there even a way for it to not have any war at all?" She spat out the words faster and faster, the deeply locked-away guilt splurting through her lips, overflowing through her eyes. "Will I always be plagued by the deaths of my comrades- of- of my family?"

Panicking with her master's tears, Flora looked around as though trying to find help, her hands fussing around her lady. "M-milady, f-forgive me, I-"

Corrin looked down so as to dry her tears, raising one finger so Flora would shut up. "It's- it's okay, Flora. Thank you for telling me." She took a deep breath, still unwilling to raise her eyes who refused to stop crying. "I... I want to meet this other Corrin, if I can. Do you think you could arrange it for me tomorrow?"

Flora felt her heart grow cold, a cold she wasn't really used to. "M-milady, is that wise? What if the ancient nohrian Doppelganger legend is true-"

"Even if it is, it's a risk I'm willing to take. Could you please arrange it?" Her head still lowered, Corrin used her bangs to cover her eyes, sniffling.

Flora deflated, her body still tense. "O-of course, milady."

Corrin smiled weakly, looking at her maid from behind her hair. "Thank you, Flora."

When Felicia told Corrin about meeting her dead sister in Askr, the Prince truly considered calling for a healer -- it took a lot of explaining and stumbling around words for him to understand what his maid had reported him the day before.

The moment he set his foot in Askr for yet another day of fighting, he saw her with his own two eyes: Flora.

She looked... so much more at peace with herself. The prince felt his legs grow weak, the living proof of his mistake (was it really a mistake? To choose his own blood related siblings? Oh, how could he ever know!) walking resolutely towards him.

"Oh, there she is, Lord Corrin! See, I told you! And now we can set up that meeting with her Lady Corrin like you wanted!" She pulled her master toward her sister, excitedly. Corrin froze on his steps, his horrified yet desperate expression making Flora herself stop on her tracks.

"So you're Lord Corrin... You two are indeed the same people; even your aura is the same." The maid bowed deeply, "please do not look at me so, my Lord... I'm sure I made the choice I deemed necessary in your world."

"See?! Doesn't she just talk the same?!" Felicia's mind ignored the words for her own sake, simply happy to have her sister back.

Not able to do that, Corrin's eyes glued themselves to the ground, his entire body growing numb. "... She does." He croaked, afraid he would break down there and then.

"My Lady awaits at the gazebo just ahead. I... would escort you, but perhaps you would preffer to be on your own." Flora tiptoed away from the duo, signaling with her chin for Felicia to come to her and leave her lord alone. The pink-haired maid looked from her master to her sister, promply going to where Flora was. "If... you'd excuse us, then."

His heart beat so fast his vision started blurring.

Flora was alive.

In that other world, Flora hadn't killed herself due to his own mistakes.

Who else lived? Was there anyone else who died? Could he have prevented-?

His feet dragged themselves behind him as he tried to go to the garden Floran mentioned, his mind a complete and utter mess.

Another self? A woman? Could she have prevented the war BETTER than he did? She chose to stay with the family who had always been there for him since childhood, whereas he just- he watched them all die!

His bare feet touched the humid grass, making him lift his gaze to the familiar silver hair being blown by the wind. Their equally red eyes met at the same time, and they knew instinctively-

They knew that they both shared the same level of grief, in differing kinds.

They were the same.

They chose a side and regretted it.

Oh, how they regretted it!

Prince and Princess both felt their eyes burning with tears, the woman running up from her seat towards her male self, hugging him with everything she had.

For a very brief moment, during the previous night, she thought how awkward it would be to meet another version of herself. Would she stutter? Would he even understand her, taking into account the different choices they took? Would he spurn her for choosing to stay where she felt the safest instead of doing what her mind yelled at her to be the right thing?

But that had been a foolish thought.

Corrin was her. She was him. They shared the same ideals, the same mind, the same regrets.

Truly looking at oneself and seeing all of the regrets, all of the fears, all of the second-guessings... It was heart-breaking and heartwarming at the same time.

Comforting, to find someone so alike to oneself -- no, to find the very same person they were in their core -- and to be simply understood.

They held each other in a tight embrace, their loud yet choked sobs being muffled by one another's shoulders.

"I'm so sorry!" She said, digging her nails into his back.

"F-forgive me- I... made so many people suffer." He apologized back, crushing her ribs in his hug. "I-"

"I-"

"Why haven't we met before this all happened?!" She hiccuped, "so many deaths could have been avoided- I- I already feel so much stronger with you here..."

"Oh," the prince wavered, his legs weakening. "We could've joined forces- they... they wouldn't have had to die!"

Would it be possible to have another path? To meet another self, to guide them through their struggles? To reset their own history and make it alright again?

Who would prevail? Would they lose their sense of self and be reborn as one another? Would one of them cease to exist?

... Couldn't them simply start over? Couldn't they go through it all together? The TRUE blood siblings they never had -- hand in hand, through it all?

Could they finally stand by their own words of 'having no regrets' and proudly state them as truth?

"I say I have no regrets, but oh, what lie!" They didn't know who said that, both of them feeling the same grief, the same guilt crushing them both from the inside.

"Every night... Every night I'm plagued by guilt," the prince sobbed, digging his face into the soft silver hair, "and... no matter how much my family grows..." Kana, oh, my little Kana! he thought woefully, "I- I still l-lay awake-- regretting the deaths of my family."

Corrin nodded in understanding, drenching the prince's shirt with her tears. "The people who loved me from infancy-- they all died due to my own s-selfish choice... Can I truly say I stand by it and that I would do it all over again? Can I- Can I call myself happy even after the birth of my children... having bloodied my hands so?"

“P-please teach me… Teach me how to live with this guilt. Sometimes I-” The Prince felt the mends in his heart crumble for the nth time.

“M-me too; you don’t need to say it. D-don’t voice it. Don’t let anyone know.” She held him with everything she had. “I- can’t teach you. I… I need to know that, as well.”

“...” He dug his face even more into her shoulder. “We can-” he started.

“- learn together,” she finished.

Unwilling to break contact, Prince and Princess stayed there, giving each other support, for as long as they would need.

They would never be able to live down with their choices -- with their regrets.

But they had to. They had to appear strong, to be the charismatic leader everyone wanted them to.

Only there -- only in Askr they would be able to truly be themselves: with each other. With their own selves. They would always regret, but at least…

At least, from then on it would be less difficult to live with that guilt.

#feh #fire emblem fates #flora #felicia #corrin #my writings #yuki's commissions

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bipolarchristianwidow · 5 years

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Dead-ass I'm just sort of done. Like... "I can't" rant... So Trigger warning... I guess.

Look... If you don't get this you cannot be helped. No amount of logic will deter you from shoving YOUR version of the Bible down my throat... and this applies to all demographics. The gay and LGBTQ population, those who suffer from and battle with mental illness, those who battle real clinical depression, those who've tried to commit suicide, those who cut, widows who've lost faith because people (well meaning "Christians") don't THINK before they speak and say some of the dumbest $#!T I have ever heard a person let alone someone who CLAIMS to be Christian say. Are you offended by that statement? GOOD! Now go and pray about the reason why that offended you...

You wonder why nobody is listening? As a God FEARING, Christ-following, Bible reading, struggling, sinful CHRISTIAN I can tell you you're doing it wrong. It is dumbfounding to me how religion dictates more to you than God ever can because you're too stuck on your version of the book you claim to read but clearly do not.

We are ALL raised differently surrounded by different sets of circumstances. Maybe if we stop to breathe and listen we might learn WHY Sharon was forced to have an abortion so we can counsel her on forgiveness, how to ask for it, how to avoid sin going forward, grace and mercy, that God IS love and WHY He loves them anyway... But doesn't want them going to hell! Which IS what Christ is about...no?!

Yes, it might be selfish, yes it might be murder and YES it IS a mortal hell-bound sin for a rape victim to choose not to carry her baby to term but forcing her to keep it because YOU think God can't forgive her is like rape an over again. Remind me again why Jesus hung in that cross? I'm NOT saying it is acceptable to use it as birth control... I'm not saying I would do it... I'm saying stop blaming God and confusing atheists and agnostics more with YOUR ignorance.

As a Christian, you should also know that detouring someone who might be standing on that wobbly fence you created from finding God because you have such a need to be right is also sinful. It might also benefit you to be reminded that ALL sin is created equal in Gods eyes. 👍 'We' stand on "our" soapbox and take some moral high ground we didn't earn. Why? Because we sit in a church on Sunday but refuse to invite Sharon because she made a hard choice... That you disagree with? TF?

If bipolar disorder and the necessity of growing a mouth filter has taught me ANYTHING it would be recognizing the clear willful ignorance that I will never be able to change. It used to be difficult as a struggling and clearly sinful Christian to accept. Like Pokemon, I want to "save them all" but guess what Karen, that is NOT your job, it's Gods!

Plant a seed, love them... Encouraged them... TALK to them. Who knows maybe... God will bless you enough to cultivate that seed... But For hell sakes can't we try to understand what it actually truly means to BE a Christian and stop spitting out doctrine before sharing the LOVE that saves?! Maybe then... We can share that doctrine you're so proud of and quote out of context? 🤔

God gives us free will so we choose to seek Him, not you Karen, Him. Stop making it about you... Maybe YOU are taking a woman's choice to choose Him because of the anger you create in her towards the God you claim to serve? To be fair, Jesus would counsel her while giving her free will... That is why I stand up and speak out.

Stop being that well-meaning "Christian" who stands behind platitudes and post fluffy memes about following Christ but don't know the God of the Bible. Better yet, actually crack it open to SEE what it says about BEING fishers of men.

Yes, I want ALL women to have the choice but I also want to explain to them what that choice means regarding their salvation. Standing on a soapbox and screaming "SINNER!!!!!" "MURDERER!!!!" isn't going to open their mind, pork chop. You gotta THINK BEFORE you speak... Felicia.

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survivor-all-stars-blog · 7 years

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EP 9: “I'll Be a Fucking Pawn For Y'all If It Saves My Ass" - Carson

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK WHEN WILL THINGS ACTUALLY GO MY WAY? NEVER. :/

This sucks so much, y'all are awesome for getting Kait to her SECOND win.

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That could've been cleaner. Yikes.

This vote obviously put me in something of a weird position. I was never going to vote Kait because of our alliance. And yes, I firmly believe she'd side with me over the alleged Malay-cult. She and I have been closer than a lot of allies I've had in these games so far. We're in lockstep, we're keeping each other sane, and we're not even talking exclusively strategy. The best alliances are formed by people who like each other's outlooks and attitudes, right? That's me and Kait right now.

I was also never going to vote Jack or Lydia because of our awesome Thotse quad with Wes. And I was not likely to vote Steffen unless there was a critical mass going his way. That left us with Ruthie (immune,) Carson and Jakey (on Kabru with me.) So, shit.

Anyway, I told MJ I might try to protect Jake if I could because they both want to work together. But the momentum started swinging his way, and it became even more locked in when he started targeting Kait. His best play would've been to target Steffen or Carson, and even then I'm not sure he could've rallied the votes.

Not wanting to be totally screwed on Kabru after a blindside, I didn't really engage with Jake too much. He came to me asking me to vote with him, almost as a last resort I feel? We hadn't talked since the swap, and he only came to me at 6:30, even though I know for a fact he was talking with others throughout the day. He told me he had Ruthie, Jack and Steffen locked in. I knew the latter two just weren't true. So rather than give him false hope, I checked with the latter two that their votes hadn't changed, then told Jake the votes weren't as locked in as he thought.

And he, somewhat predictably, lost his shit. He didn't want to accept that, telling me that if I voted for him, he'd stay... that my vote was the difference maker... that I was too far up Kait's ass to see it... that I needed to grow a fucking backbone... that I'm pathetic.... that I'm terrible at the game...

Yeah, I've played enough games by now to know nothing good comes from engaging in someone who's resorting to personal shots. So I disengaged. And I think Jake may have forgotten there's a second game going on, in his blind rage? As a multiple-time pre-juror, I know for a fact that it's so not worth getting upset over. Shit happens, the game doesn't break your way. But attacking people over it accomplishes exactly nothing. From what I hear, it sounds like I got off easy too. Apparently he ripped hard into Carson, Kait, Lydia and Jack too.

I don't like when people are sore losers. I don't like when people go for personal shots in a game that's meant to be fun. But I especially don't like when people do both of the above to my friends. Fuck that noise. Any chance of me wanting to work with Jake on Kabru went out the window with that, and I'm sure he feels likewise based on that vote. If it makes sense, I might vote with him as a matter of necessity, but he's not long for this game if I have my say. Bye Felicia.

Normally I would've been more upset about the vote being delayed a few hours, but between the extenuating circumstances out of the hosts' control and the fact that Jake still would've been in the One World chat anyway, nothing noticeably changed. So, fuck it, what's two hours of waiting?

Anyway I like slither.io. It's not my best game, but I enjoy it. Can't wait to put up a high score and show Jake that he's not God's gift to competitions. "Oh mind you I’m the best competitor on this tribe. Not tooting my own horn, just looking back at past performances."??? Like, fuck you? One unnecessarily long endurance run in an early comp doesn't mean we should all just bow down to your *~clear challenge superiority~*. Different people are skilled at different things.

I'm so glad nobody responded to his diatribe in the OW chat. The last thing he needed was to be enabled. His perspective is just that – HIS perspective. It's clear he doesn't really have a grasp of how this game is playing out, or else he might not have been the one to go last night.

Gage is super duper cute! But he never responds to my messages, so I am super duper not happy about that! Like, Gage, please. C'mon, Gage. Get it together. C'mon. I sent him what I did in the adventure, and you know the response I got? It was a riveting, rambling silence. Like...? What!? Didn't Gage WIN once or something?? How did he manage that??? Did he sleepwalk there, or were the other people in the final tribal council just that bad? I am completely befuddled.

Oh MJ really just threw me under the bus eh? I can't believe I got the full Olympics experience in one night. Choke.

Oh not me getting one of the highest scores on both my tribes for a flash game!? What a foreign concept.

safe in both games, so i have time to work on RELATIONSHIPS and read my book on how to win survivor so i can win this!!!!

please help

mj and pat treating me like pawns for the adventure! love it.

ill be a fucking pawn for yall if it saves my ass but an idol or something WOULD be nice.

In other news, Jimmy is the bee's knees. Yes, he is! He is so very cool! Yes, he's hip!

me and kait on call

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i think theres an imbalance of trust between mj and i.

i trust him wholeheartedly as hes my only close ally, but he sees me as expendable from what i get from our conversations. he barely responds and i obviously seem to be of lesser priority? but idk maybe im just paranoid, but im holding on for dear life

me pressuring mj into sending his screenshots of his latest chats and seeing almost all of them are about the game! how iconic.

LISTEN I REALLY WANNA KILL THE OA TONIGHT. LIKE I WANT OWEN TO LEAVE. i'm just in this STUPID FUCKENING SPOT in the middle of jenn and jimmy and LOGI-WAN????????? IS LEAKING SHIT TO JENN THAT I WANT JENN OUT ??? OR SOME SHIT LIKE WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT SDGJSDKLSD; GOD.

i have more to say but i will wait for after class but i'm still like i legit don't know what i wanna do

i'm gonna need a pair of cargo shorts for all the people logi-wan thinks i have in my pockets!!!

Sorry that I've been kinda AWOL but it's because I've been feeling pretty shitty about my position in the game as a whole. I'm very lucky to have Matt in the game who is always willing to have strategic conversations that I know will provide me with a secure outlet that's not going to make my position even worse. I told him I planned on making a fake idol but idk if I'll go ahead with exposing that I have an "idol" to my tribe due to current changes in circumstances that I'll talk about later. Jakey's exposing of the tight Malaysian core alliance has made them change their tune which I'm really happy about because I'm sure I'm the target tonight (thanks Owen, you suck), but thankfully Jimmy exists and wants to work with me to pull off some move because the Malaysian's are going whack and he is thankful I saved him all that time ago back in Easter Island? I- I didn't do that much except kill my own game but thank you for willing to switch shit up!

It looks like their might be a chance I will stay tonight, however there are several different stories being played out on this tribe. Logan told me flat out it's me. However Jimmy told me Logan approached him and Jenn to vote out Gage? I don't get why when clearly Gage showed him loyalty? I'm not complaining cuz it means the vote would not be on me. But I think it's gonna be on me since Jenn reassured that it probably was. So it would come down to MJ voting with Jenn/Jimmy over Owen/Logan. Alternatively I could be a total bitch and expose a plan if I'm totally unsure what to do, or 10 minutes before tribal I could post my fake messages and idol that I found to hopefully send them into a panic and switch their votes off me and onto someone not me. It's a tough position to be in cuz I don't want to reveal I've an idol and for it to backfire somehow, but also how it may look untrustworthy to my alliance if I "had" an idol and didnt "play" it. So hmm. I'm concerned because Gage seems to be going after Logan now but is trying to get Owen? I fear this is where it could blow up. 4 of these people are going to both tribals so it's a very tricky situation. If the plan falls apart, the votes might just all fall back onto me because I'm the "easy vote". I have to see what happens and make a calculated decision before tribal that will work in my favour.

It could be game over, or game on.

So like, I want Gage to go home. He is going to both tribals like Jenn, Jimmy, and Owen. Lydia and Owen are in the minority in Game B, so I'm thinking they're going to be easy boots because Gage is close to Kait. Well, I don't want that to happen, obviously. They're both my allies. But I'm also on good terms with Jenn and Jimmy, so I don't want them to go. Kait isn't an option because Kait isn't going to both tribals, and no one wants an angry, scorned Kait in the game. That's like leaving a provoked bear in the game. No thanks! Plus I'm good with her, too. That leaves Gage, and he made it super easy for me to want him gone by not speaking to me at all, lol. I sent you the receipts of my adventure, the least you can do is respond! Rude!!! Anyways, yeah, Gage should go. Also, he is trying to target me, I guess? Which is also not cool. Good Guy Gage is going down.

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please god

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WHOA I WON THAT IMMUNITY HUH!!!!!! im honestly not that worried if we lose just bc ik i have mj ruthie and matt on my side no matter what and that would at least tie it. but basically i tried to go on call with owen and kait to smooth over some relationships... i rly intended to work with owen if he would let me but he went and told kait the one piece of information i told him which was that i heard that lydia and kait made a deal to stay.. owen u rly know how to piss me OFF huh

i had a pretty good call with kait and i hope it was enough that if mj did keep me if we lose on tribe b, she wouldn't flip her shit and come after mj. mj is literally the saving grace of my game and ill do anything for him in this game. if that means i gotta be fake with kait and pretend like i wanna smooth things over and work together then ill do that. anyway ruthie is a legend and will win this season bookmark THAT

I've been laying SUPER low. Like, I apologized to Kait and told her I was close to voting her out because she scares me as a player or whatever, but that I really wanted to work with her because we didn't get a chance to work together in Trashy, and then I also threw in how my good friend Ashley Sarah liked playing with her so much when Kait was catfishing in Canaries and hopefully we bonded a bit. SHE FREAKING TERRIFIES ME but if working with her keeps me around longer, I'm all for it. I'm not going to try to make anymore big moves for awhile because as much as I want to, I don't want to piss off the rest of the people in the tribes.

My goal now is to stay close with Steffen, Steve and keep talking to Pat because he's just so nice. He's genuinely the nicest person playing in my opinion. I'm also going to stay close to Jakey, he's my number one, and I'm going to stay close to Carson as well, and just try to stay on his good side and stuff. I don't want to take Carson to the end, there is no way. As much as I love Steffen I'd rather not take him to the end either. Jakey I could see, going all the way with but we both have to stay in order for anything like that to actually happen.

I don't know if I made the right choice in putting my foot down about voting Jimmy over Gage. Every option seems bad in my opinion, but I think I've made it pretty clear I want Gage around, just to turn my back and vote him next time... I don't know. This will probably bite me in the ass somehow, like maybe Gage is lying to me and Lydia will end up going, or idk god knows what will happen....

Nobody has really talked to me since I went to dinner at 6:30... So part of me just feels like I'm getting clocked on both tribes. Either way, I guess I'll see what happens.

I don't want this to be the end, really, and I don't know if it's smart to try and take control in a game where everything spreads like fire and is painfully obvious. I just gotta keep crossing my fingers, huH!

Time off???? from this game????? A concept! I don't know what to do with my hands.

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gage is leaving????? maybe.... even tho i'd prefer owen leaving but... everything is so risky and shaky at this point im so KJDFHJKDHS NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

This may be my last confessional! I decided against playing the fake idol card because I didn't want it to blow up the plan currently in place. If it goes how I hope I should survive but I've still got low expectations. Secondly, I'm a bad explainer of things and I didn't want to get caught out and laughed at because I made a silly idol. It's a card I'll keep in my pocket if I survive. If not, I'll be thankful to those who tried to keep me in the game and I'll wish my allies luck in surviving. But fingers crossed and all the other stereotypical survival things to say. Lets goooooooo

I guess Gage is coming for me, so I had to switch my vote against him. If he knew how much I'd been doing to protect his ass, maybe he'd think differently.

It's a shame when people's stupid decisions prevent others from doing the right thing. Oh well! STUPID.

I had three calls the hour before tribal with Jenn, Lydia, and Owen and they were all concerned with getting Gage out, and then he gets voted out unanimously in both games. I'm glad all that time I spent trying to get him out wasn't wasted. Bye-bye, Gage! Don't target me next time, okay?

Whew I am so happy I survived but extremely sad that it came at Gage's expense. I really would've loved to work with him because he's honest, caring, charming etc. He's just a all round good guy and buddy. I'm also interested that suddenly I'm making a whole pack of new friends? Kait (although drunk) is talking to me for the first time since day 1 and secondly Owen has found his voice to chat to me! So I'm very interested to see what position this could put me in. I'm also shook that Matt thought my idol was real? I told him it was fake before I made it gdfihgkol. Maybe I should pull it out if it's convincing enough! Also I'm surprised Lydia came to me and goes "you're welcome". Um. I'm not sure you swung the vote on my tribe to Gage considering there was talk of it being him at lunchtime today? Like. I'm crediting Jenn and Jimmy for that one so sorry this isn't Port Royal and I'm a different player. Just cuz I'm in a shitty position doesn't mean I'm not beginning around for whatever scraps I can find. I HOPE this tribal is turning point for me, but you hosts are sending us all to tribal again so I'll probably get taken out as the easy vote, but I trust Jenn/Jimmy to at least tie it for us.

#confessionals #ivebeenbamboozled

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