#also had me wondering do we ever find out what documents arthur stole?? heard it could be something w | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sea-side-scribbles · 3 years

Text

Fanfiction: Sympathy For A Downer

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/82993969

Chapter 77

Arthur and Nick spent the rest of the day with each other. Arthur made an effort to comfort his lover and Nick gladly accepted his efforts. They made good for the meal they had missed and thanks to Arthur's supplies it didn't consist of porridge alone. The next day, Nick was simply happy about waking up with Arthur. He wasn't in a rush and very sorry when his lover eventually went out of bed. “I see you need your coffee”, Arthur teased the former rockstar who didn't move a muscle. Nick stretched out a hand. “Actually, I need more Arthur”, he admitted, even though he found it sounded desperate. His lover came back and sat down on the bed, leaning over to kiss him. “My poor darling...You've been alone for such a long time...” “I thought I lost you down there...” “Please, stop torturing yourself with it...” “I dreamed of it...” Arthur hugged him. Nick couldn't imagine a better place than the crook of Arthur's neck.

“I wish we had more time...but there's still so much to do...” “We'll have time soon, Nick...”. Arthur feared that they would have more than enough of it, being trapped on this island. This perspective made his intentions for today look like he was hopelessly dwelling on the past. “I don't want to leave you alone again, but I also need to know if any of my friends forgive me...”, Nick cut off his train of thoughts. “Just go then. I have to get something done today too...I may be gone for longer, but I'm back no later than in the evening.” Nick sat up. “What are you going to do?” Arthur took a deep breath. “I have to go to the Executive Committee...Only they can tell me where my brother is. If any of the workers there is still alive...I hope they still have the documents...” He ran a hand through his hair. “At a pinch, I'll search every drawer and shelf I can find.” “Good luck, Arthur. I hope you find something”, Nick said softly. “Thank you.” “I'll come and help you when I'm done.” “You don't have to...Just take your time with your friends...Stay longer if you must...” “Okay...” Nick mused. “Do we still have time for a coffee?” Arthur agreed. Strengthened like this, they hugged each other goodbye. “Take care, my hero”, Nick whispered. “You too, Nicky...Remember that I believe in you...that you are worth loving...” “Oh, Arthur...” “You won my heart, Nick. Don't forget that.” “Perhaps it was the other way around.” They laughed at that.

Later, Nick reached the house of his former band. Matt answered the door and for a while he looked like he had expected someone else. “Oh, it's you...”, he said hesitantly. “Come in...” Nick went in, once again wondering if it had been a good idea to come here. "Did something happen?", he asked because of Matt's expression. "Chris left again...", the other man said gloomily. "Did you fight?" "Brad and him keep quarreling." Matt shrugged, but he didn't look incurious at all. "It's because of me, right?" Nick leaned against a wall and sighed deeply. "You know, you have every right to kick me out..." Matt shrugged again, more helplessly. "I don't know...I fear I'm losing my head, Nick..." He started to walk around the room. "I don't know what I'm supposed to think of all this...Since I'm off my Joy, more and more memories are coming in and...it's all crazy!...It's been ten years of our lifes! Ten years that some...crackpot stole from us! And why? We don't even know who started all this! It just popped up and now it's gone! We're left with nothing but ruins and we're about to starve! And freeze! What if we never get out of here? What if we run out of supplies? People still help each other for now, but if shit hits the fan, they'll freak out again! It's gonna be winter soon!" He shook his head. "Why did we have to stop taking Joy? What did we win?" He gave Nick a sad look.

"A chance", Nick offered. "We won't starve so easily, we still have a lot of supplies. Victoria Byng took care of that, I know that from Arthur. And perhaps we don't have to leave. We could grow plants in the Garden District again. There's still hope. With Joy, we would've starved for sure." "But we would've been happy...." "It was a lie!" "But it was our life! I wouldn't know how everything changed, I wouldn't remember who died...Virgil would've never really left us...and Morrie..." He breathed in deeply. "Do you know what's worse? That he never knew the truth...He died with this lie." Nick eyed the floor. "Right...shit..." "And was he worse off than us? He could live the life he was used to until the end. He was always a Make Believe and had nothing to worry about than his music...But us...We're lucky if we'll ever be a real band again!" "Why shouldn't you?" "Nick...who's gonna spend money on us? We have to become goddamn farmers to survive here!" "Hey, you will be heard, don't worry. I felt it too when I played my guitar. People miss their old life and they want to hear the music. There'll be gigs in the future, only without Joy."

Matt finally took a rest on the couch and looked up to Nick with a tired expression. "Could you do that, Nick? Could you continue playing our songs without Morrie?" Nick fell silent for a moment. "I couldn't stop...I you still wanted this, I wouldn't hesitate to keep this up." Matt pondered. "Did Morrie ever have a chance?" "Yeah..." Nick sighed. "If I never met him, if we had never been together, then yes...I didn't do him good." Nick blinked. "But believe me, I was loyal before I took Joy. It wasn't easy, and sometimes Morrie had to bring me back to my senses..." Nick had to smile at the memory. "...but I made him happy...I think..." "You did", Matt said firmly. "Morrie swooned over the old days and always wished you would come back like this...The poor thing! He never understood what happened and I can't explain it to him anymore..." Nick sat down next to him. "I'm sure you've been a good friend to him...Gosh, I never thanked you for this...er, thank you." "I wasn't a much better friend than you...That evening you fought with him because of Arthur, I should've comforted him, stopped him from following your or coming along, but I was too busy comforting myself wiht Joy and scotch..." He gulped heavily. "We've been awful people, haven't we?"

"Unlike me you've all been saints", Nick said. "You couldn't know that there was a mass murderer on the loose who killed my friends and loved ones out of jealousy." "No...but I should've helped him..." "I'm sure Morrie wouldn't reproach you with this if he knew what was going on. He also took a high risk going outside at night. He wasn't allowed to. He could've ended up in a Jubilator...I shouldn't think of that..." "Oh, dear, thanks for the image...", Matt moaned. "Sorry...See, it wasn't all sunshine and daisies in our old life." Because Matt continued to silence, Nick dared to pat his back. "Hey...I'm sorry...I should keep my bloody mouth shut." "I don't know...Sometimes I think we had some bad luck, and sometimes I could give you a thrashing...Why did you have to betray him? Why did he have to die for this?" "He would've been a target for James, either as my enemy or my lover...Arthur didn't chance that", Nick whispered. Matt closed his eyes shut. For a while, they sat together in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

"I understand why we took Joy...", Matt said some time later. "Not being able to forget, having to live with all this...it's...it's" He clenched his fists and tensed up. Nick was searching for words when Matt finally relaxed again. "Brad is right, it would be easy to blame it on you. In the end, you've been just a poor sucker like us." "You don't have to take me back, though...not ouf of nostalgia or anything..." "But you would like to...?" Matt eyed him from the side. "Sure...What a question is that?" The bass player stretched himself. "Well...you have to persuade Chris." "He'll come back, right?" "I think I know where he is." Nick hesitated. "Is it a good idea to be alone with him?" “Well, it's your only chance. In here, he feels cornered. Alone, you're at his mercy but he'll most likely listen to you.” Nick sighed. “Okay...I'll try...By the way, how's Brad?” “He needs some time for his own, too. I'll take care of him as good as I can.” “Just tell him I said hello.” “Alright...Now listen...”

After that, Nick made his way through the district up to the bridge to St. Georges Holm. He didn't cross it, though, but climbed over the railing and continued his walk on the grass. From there, he could walk past the town through the landscape where he approached the cliffs. They were a perfect spot to seek solitude. Nick understood, that the view was soothing. He had learned that from Arthur. While Nick's gaze wandered along the rugged scenery, the wind blew harder than in town and brought salty, wet air. When he noticed a figure in the distance that looked like his missing friend, he was unsure if he should disturb him like that. Chris sat on a rock and stared at the horizon. Nick could only guess what he thought. But if he didn't try it now, he wouldn't need to ever come back, so he carefully approached him. Then he stopped again, because he noticed that Chris didn't hear him. The grass dampened his footsteps, so he shuffled along a rock with his heel. Alerted, Chris looked around. Nick didn't move and let the other man stare at him. Chris then left his rock.

“You're getting everywhere, isn't that so, Norbert? I'm nowhere safe from you...and it never crosses your mind that you might be unwanted...” The guitarist's voice was full of bitterness. Nick's face fell. “I'm not that stupid.” “Then why are you here?”, Chris snapped. Something occurred to him. “Brad sent you, right? Not even he can leave me alone! What did I do to deserve this?” “Brad has nothing to do with this!” “Who else? Matt? Sure, you talked him round already...Incredible...You kill his friend and he forgives you just like that...” “You know that this isn't what happened!”, Nick shouted against the wind. Chris shook his head, smiling unhappily. “It's always easy for you Norbert. Again, nothing is your fault...and the others fell for you...Now it's three against one...” “That's not how it is!” Nick came closer. “Don't think they're on my side now! They might forgive me, but that doesn't mean they would miss me! You are a part of the band, not me! I can only ask you to let me leave on good terms!” Chris fell quiet for a while, watching the waves.

“You know, I had the choice back then...”, he said almost calmly. Nick came closer to hear him. “It was my idea to form a band. Mine!”, he added with emphasis. “I could have made you dance to my pipe as a band leader, but I thought: 'No let's be friendly, a band isn't a military troop.' He laughed unhappily. “I guess it's still war.” “It was the right decision. We all thought highly of you, more than you noticed.” “And more than a certain someone noticed...” Nick had no idea what he was getting at. “It should've made me suspicious that Virgil spoke to you first and not me...” Nick sensed that there was some truth in that. Still, he said: “It could've been a coincidence.” “Huh! Sure...After watching us all, he coincidentally decided to approach you of all people...He knew exactly what he was doing.” “Even if so, it was his decision, not mine!” Chris made another pause that Nick spent racking his brain, trying to find a way to make him understand that he didn't scheme against him, but how would he prove that?

“I underestimated you, Norbert”, Chris spoke again. “Do you remember when you needed me to buy you a beer because you looked like a bloody twelve-year-old? I never thought anyone would pay much attention to you.” That actually hurt. “Do you want me to apologize because you took me for a baby?” “Well, I didn't take you for a traitor...” Chris kicked a stone off the cliff. “But now you do.” “What am I supposed to think of you? Tell me.” He looked down at Nick who struggled for words in frustration. “I didn't know any of Virgil's plans! I never viewed myself as the only star! And I never thought Virgil could be fixated on me! Sure, sometimes I wondered why he was so harsh especially to me, why he wanted me to be perfect. He didn't seem to do that to any of you. But on the other hand, I was the most problematic. I needed Joy, not you. I guessed he only wanted everything to work well.” Chris looked back at the ocean, seemingly disappointed. “So, you've been simply dumb?” “Not dumber than you, or else you would've found a way to get Virgil's attention.” “But when you kicked us out of the band, didn't you notice it then?”, Chris snapped. “It was never meant to be this way!”, Nick shouted desperately. “I've already told you it was meant to be a workaround until we reunited! Later I just forgot...I went from gig to gig and happening to happening, until I couldn't even to that anymore.”

“And you had a lot of fun doing it.” “Believe me, I would swap it all for a moderate life with you and the guys. You could've played the star if you fancied yourself as one.” “What's that supposed to mean?” “Just what you said! It's not nice hearing that you didn't trust me with anything! That you thought I'm a pip-squeak you can push around!” “I didn't say that!” “But that's what you thought, be honest! That must be it, otherwise I didn't have to take revenge on you! Right? That's what you're trying to turn this into! A revenge plot! I must admit it would've been a much better story because it would make sense.” Nick sniffed. “Now, don't cry, little one.” Chris looked at him. “Why not? What's in it for me if I don't? It's only appropriate for shattering my dreams. You're right, I am dumb. I thought we were friends.” “But we were friends!” “Then you have a weird conception of friendship! If you pushed me around as a band leader, it would've been at least honest!” Chris sighed. “Norbert, now you're exaggerating. I just phrased it a little unflattering...” “And what does the flattering version sound like?” “I just never thought you'd betray me...” “I didn't!”

Chris silenced again and Nick gloomily stared at the waves. Some time later, Chris searched his gaze. When their looks met, Chris made a gesture as if he offered him a seat on the rock next to him. Nick took the risk. The other man didn't seem to mind. He looked back at the horizon and sighed. “You know, this place could be beautiful, also without Joy”, he whispered. “Why did it have to happen here? Why to us?” “Bad karma?”, Nick guessed. “Ah...The Very Bad Thing...”, Chris recalled. “Did you have siblings?” “No...” “Me neither...Well, if I didn't repress it. I keep seeing this little girl...maybe three years old...” He shook his head. “Could've been the neighbour's daughter.” Nick nodded. “Lucky bastards”, he tried a joke. “They get to see the world outside and we're trapped in here.” Chris even adumbrated a grin. “Oh...If you put it like that...Yeah, perhaps they're better off...” He sighed deeply. “I guess we have to make the best out of it.” “We...you mean...including me?”, Nick asked carefully. “Don't be such a drama queen, Nick. Perhaps that's what Virgil went for...drama queens.” “Funny, he should've taken you then.” “Impertinent brat.” “Just look at the setting!” Nick widened his arms. “Shakespeare would've done it any better.” Chris gave the ocean another look. “You know what?”, he asked after a while. “It sucks. I'm cold and wet. Let's get back home.” Nick climbed after Chris, barely able to hide his happiness.

Back home, Chris promptly took off his shirt. “You must be really fond of me again”, Nick remarked. Chris grinned at him. “Don't look if I'm too much to handle for you. Anyway I need to get out of these wet rags.” “What have you been up to?” Brad suddenly appeared in the corridor. “Did you go for a swim?” “It's not forbidden”, Chris said and walked past him. Brad looked at Nick who seemed to be pleased with himself and gave his shoulder a slap. That made him notice that also Nick's clothes were wet. “You should change too.” “Sure, but that's all I have.” Nick shrugged. “So, it's time for you to get out of this funeral gear”, Matt commented, entering the scene. “It doesn't match your style at all.” “Hey, I've just come back and you're already hot for my knickers!” “Don't you like it?” They broke out in laughter. It was a precious moment to simply laugh out loud like that, without Joy.

“I could go back to my place in Hamlyn and change...”, Nick said not very excitedly. “Or we see if Davey has something to spare for you”, Brad offered. “He's still around?” Nick widened his eyes “Yeah, he was the first one we visited after the breakdown. He sat it all out in his hiding spot, the bright spark he is.” “He's not living in luxury right now, but he keeps his shop and hopes for better times”, Matt added. “He'll be happy to see you alive.” “These are good news...”, Nick stuttered. “Then...what are we waiting for?” Chris came back in a new outfit. “What did I miss?” “We pay Davey a visit”, Brad answered. “Good idea.”

Later, they entered the studio of the famous designer and the band called out for him. “Davey, are you there?” “You have customers!” Soon, the wanted person hurried into the shop. He was without his mask, just like everyone else, but other than that he looked as spick and span as ever. “I can't believe it! My favourite band! How are you, boys?” “Pretty good despite everything”, Brad answered and they shook hands. “We brought you someone”, Chris added and pointed at Nick. Davey eyed him, trying to figure out the new face. “Well, do you recognise me without my mask and everything...?”, Nick said a bit self-consciously. Davey recalled the voice. “Nick?” Promptly, he pulled him into a hug. “You made it! Of course you did! You're tough like that!” “Careful!”, Nick warned him. “I'm soaked.” Davey eyed his outfit then. “Is this your new style?” “I thought I'd try something new”, Nick joked. “But I'm not quite feeling it...Perhaps you could assist me with that?” “With pleasure, my dear. Let's have a look, shall we?” To the band he said: “Please make yourselves at home. Feel free to fit something on if you like.” “Gladly, as long as you make Nicky presentable again. He's painful to look at like this”, Chris answered. “Is it really that bad?” Nick looked at himself. Davey waved them off and dragged Nick with him into the depth of the shop. Nick had to admit that he liked his bright colours more than black.

When he had made his choice, he asked: “Say, how can I make it up to you? Really?” “Just tell everyone where you bought this.” “No, I mean...how do I pay you? What use are Sovereigns?” Davey was quiet for a while, then he said: “Let's not lose all hope, alright? Consider it a friendly turn. Just because we're low on food, it doesn't mean we have to dress like scarecrows.” “You're right about that. I'm already feeling better.” Nick admired his new look. “If you like to give me something other than money, just go on, surprise me”, Davey said and walked closer. “I'll think of something”, Nick promised. “I'm excited.” Nick looked around the shop, pondering. “May I ask you for another favour?” “Of course.” “Do you remember Arthur Hastings? The one you took for a model and then turned out to be a reporter?” “The tall lanky with dark hair?” “Yeah, exactly. Could you help me pick out something for him?” Davey understood. “Follow me”, he said.

Eventually, they found something Nick was excited to see Arthur in. Davey wrapped it up like a present with a big ribbon on top and handed it to Nick. “There you go. Say hello to him from me, will you? Tell him I'd hire him on the spot if the reporting business goes down.” “I will.” Nick looked at Davey. “It's nice to see you again.” “Bad weeds grow tall”, the man said tenderly. “That applies to both of us.” “But it wasn't easy.” “No...” Davey thoughtfully adjusted his hair. “Hey, if you need help, pay us a visit. We...I mean the band has a home for themselves...I'm living with Arthur.” “I'm happy for you.” Davey smiled. Nick apologetically smiled back. “It's never fair, isn't it?” Davey now smirked. “Don't take it amiss, but I wouldn't marry you. Too vigorous.” Nick laughed. “And that coming from you!” Davey gently touched his arm. “You can visit me anytime, Nick. You and the boys. We have to stick together.” Nick returned the gesture. “Thank you.”

“By the way...someone else asked for you a few days ago, heartbreaker...”, Davey went on. “Why? Who was it?” Nick was alarmed. “No one else but Birdie Callagher. Ring a bell? She looked worried.” Nick felt caught red-handed. “We got to know each other right before Memorial Day, that's all. Virgil's death did throw us both off the track.” Davey became serious again. “Oh, my...I still didn't realize that...” “He looked ravishing in your suit.” “Huh...yeah...it's a shame I never saw him in it.” “I'm sorry...” “Anyway...Birdie is also one of my friends. Can I tell you you're alive and well?” Nick looked at him. “Where is she? Perhaps it's better if I talk to her myself.” Davey told him her address and then gave him an intense look. “What?” The designer relaxed again. “Ah...nothing...Let's go, the boys are waiting...” When they met with the band again, Davey received praises for Nick's outfit. They stayed for longer, joked around and chattered like old times. Nick noticed that he didn't need Joy to forget about his worries for a while and there was nothing wrong with that.

They left Davey in an unusually good mood. Nick regretted that he had to say goodbye yet. “Guys, I'm sorry, but I have to leave you now...I can come back, right?” “Well, if you keep behaving yourself like that...”, Chris offered. “You can bring Arthur along”, Brad said. “I will. He'll be happy to see you all again.” “U-huh, he'll start writing an exclusive story about our survival...”, Chris guessed. “That's not a bad thing.” Nick chuckled. “I wonder, what's life with him like?”, Matt asked. “I imagine him taking notes whenever you talk...” Nick laughed out loud. “He's not like that!” “He taking embarrassing photos of you in secret...”, Chris added. “No!” “You'll always feel like a celebrity around him, that's for sure...,” Brad pointed out. “My Arthur is a completely normal person!”, Nick protested laughing. “How boring”, Chris remarked. “There must be something up with him if he made you fall for him.” “Well, there is, but this story is unsuitable for the public!”

Like that, they said goodbye in a friendly way. After that, Nick firstly went home to hide the packages and sneak back outside. He felt sorry that he had to be so secretive, but he needed to get something else done.

Arriving at another house, he rang the bell on the off chance. He was lucky. Someone opened, and that someone looked exactly like Birdie, only without her mask. Despite that she had kept her dignity. Her makeup was flawless and her clothes were clean. Nick was happy he had been with Davey before because he would've been horribly underdressed for this situation. Still, it was obvious that she didn't recognize him. “Hello?” “Hello, Birdie. It's me, Nick.” Her eyes widened. “Nick?” “Yeah...I guess I changed a little...but only on the outside, I promise.” “Oh, Nick!” She fell into his arms. “Where have you been? I suddenly lost sight of you and then everyone freaked out. If it hadn't been for Davey...” “I'm afraid I freaked out, too...”, Nick said quietly. “But that's over.” “Now many things are over”, she said and parted from him. “How do you get along?” “I found my band again...or better, they found me. We don't have a plan yet, but we're alright so far. How do you do?” She shrugged. “Most of the time, I'm helping the doctors. I'm a jobbing nurse now. At the same time my new manager tries to contact the mainland.” “Oh...wow...Did you have medical training, or...?” “Not a bit...” She chuckled. “But there's easier tasks I can manage, where I can't do any damage to the poor souls...” Nick was impressed. “Seeing all this misery must be hard...” “It takes a while getting used to, yes. But I'm getting better. The fight is over, there aren't many terribly wounded people left...Still, not all of them are making it...” She took a deep breath. “I'm sure you're doing your best.” “Of course...like all of us...Honestly, I'm more afraid of getting used to it...Seeing this and just thinking 'Oh, it's another completely normal day in Wellington Wells'...” He nodded. “I know what you mean. Did you see the corpses? They are so many...” “Gosh, yeah...” She dropped her gaze.

After collecting herself, she waved him in. “Come, let's have a nice, hot cup of tea as long as the Motilene pipes still work.” Nick liked the idea and followed her inside. “Is this your pad or did you...borrow it?” She smiled. “It's mine. I got it shortly before Memorial Day.” She huffed. “What a bad investment! Now I could get it on much better terms.” “We'll be happy if we ever miss our money again...” “That's true...” She turned on a plate. “Yes, it's working!”, she cheered at the sight of the red lamp lighting up. “All hail to Motilene!”, Nick said and looked around in her kitchen. “Do you have some dishes I can smash in the meantime?” Birdie laughed. “Yeah, I have enough of that stuff in this cabinet. Just help yourself.” Nick picked two cups and saucers and put them on the table. Birdie later joined him with her teapot. Sighing, she fell on her chair. “Sometimes I really don't know where I'm at...” She wiped her forehead. “Sorry...since I'm off my Joy I keep whining...” “For a stressed out nurse you're looking fantastic”, Nick tried to cheer her up. “Oh, thank you”, she said gallantly and looked at him. “But I think I should be honest with you, since you are honest with me...” She grabbed her blonde mane and pulled it off her head. Like that, she revealed a tuft of dark brown hair that was cut into a bob and neatly framed her face. She threw the wig at a chair in the corner. Nick stared at her. “So...what do you say?”, she asked him quietly. Nick ripped himself out of his stasis. “I'm...I'm gobsmacked, really...but you're still pretty...” She smiled. “I hoped you would say that...” Nick felt a tickle running through his body. The reason why he came here...he needed to do it now... He nervously wiped his knuckles while Birdie served the tea.

“Birdie...I don't know how to say this...”, he began, searching for words. “This is completely new to me...” She listened carefully. “Do you remember when I said I lost someone who was close to me?” She nodded. “Something happened...something I didn't think was possible...He came back to me. I'm living with him now. We want to start over.” “Oh, that's...” Now she was stammering, putting the teapot down. “I'm happy for you of course...” “I'm sorry.” Nick avoided her gaze, bracing himself. But Birdie remained sitting on her chair. “You don't have to be...After all, it's a gift. So many people lost their loved ones...Plenty are still missing...Without Joy, some people only remember now that they lost someone long ago...And you found each other in all this chaos...that's beautiful.” “I'm just so sorry I dragged you into this...” Nick sighed. “You didn't drag me into nothing, Nick Lightbearer! I'm not a helpless little girl. It was my decision to follow your invitation”, she said firmly. “But you didn't know what a mess I am.” “Oh, I did...For a long time, there was barely anything nice about you to read in the papers.” “Oh...” Nick slumped down. “I forgot about that.”

“Now I'm sorry”, she said and put her hand on his. “I have to say you were a pleasant surprise.” “Until now.” “Don't be silly. We had fun. And you comforted me. Without you, I would've gone crazy over Virgil's death...You have no idea how much I needed you.” “I needed you too...” Nick whispered. “I mean...I didn't use you!,” he quickly added. “I like you...just not like that...First, I had too much of a broken heart because of Arthur but I needed you and I was afraid of sending the wrong signals...And now I just don't want to play with you.” “I'm glad...Really, I'm thankful that you told me the truth.” Birdie's voice was soft. “I know you could've easily played with me.” “Yeah, well...” He took a deep breath. “I'm thankful too...You could treat me much worse...Scream at me, beat me up, throw your stuff at me...I've experienced it all.” “The truth didn't go down well in Wellington Wells”, she said bitterly. Nick had never seen it that way. “No...not at all...” “I'm glad I met you, Nick. You've been the first I could really be honest to...” “You can still trust me, Birdie. I'll never tell anyone your secrets, cross my heart!” “I believe you.” She smiled. “Arthur is lucky to have you.” Nick looked a bit puzzled, then he recalled he had said his name. “Well...I'm doing my best...” He scratched his neck. “I wish you and Arthur the best of luck.” “Thank you. I wish you all the best, too...I keep my fingers crossed for your manager. Perhaps he'll find a working phone booth.” “Let's see. At a pinch, maybe smoke signals will do.” They burst out in laughter. Nick finally left her, feeling much better than he had feared. The big drama never happened and he felt relieved of a huge weight he had been carrying in his heart. Now he pined for meeting Arthur.

Back in their house he found Arthur in the kitchen and greeted him with an eager kiss. Calming down, he rested his head on his lover's shoulder and sighed happily. “Hmm...my hero...” Arthur ruffled his hair. “What did they say?” Nick gave him a blissful look. “It worked. We're friends again.” Arthur eyed him up and down. “I'm sure they couldn't resist you, looking like that.” Nick's eyes widened. “Oh, that...I had to get rid of James' suit and that's why we visited Davey Hackney. He still has his shop, it's incredible! You must've made an impression on him, because he told me to say hello from him. He'd take you back as a model, too.” Arthur laughed. “Better not. This job is too stressful for me...” “More stressful than breaking out of prisons?”, Nick teased him. “Definitely.” They grinned at each other. “So many good things happened today, I can't believe it! I feel like a new man!” Nick rejoiced.

His lover's cheerfulness took a load off Arthur's mind. “I'm so happy for you.” Nick hugged him again. “Thank you for giving me the courage to do this...I was running on empty...and now I feel almost like the old days.” Something occurred to him. “Wait, stupid me, I forgot something!” He ran back to where he had hid the packages and came back with Arthur's present. “There you go, my hero.” He proudly handed it over. “You brought something for me?” Arthur eyed it in surprise. “U-huh,” Nick said nodding. “You're such a treasure! You're still thinking of me despite everything...” The tall man was clearly overwhelmed. “It's nothing compared to what you did for me.” Nick was once more ravished about how humble Arthur was. His lover put the present down on the kitchen table, suddenly deep in thoughts “This is making it much harder...,” he said wiping his forehead.

“What?” Nick came closer to see that Arthur was struggling for words. “Speak up, my tall boy.” He became more serious when he recalled something. “Is it about your brother?” Arthur gave him a meaningful look. “I found documents...They say that they brought the children to certain...institutions...” “In Germany?” “Yes...Although I don't know to which they sent Percy...There should be a list that assigns the places for each of the children, but I didn't find it...” “But you found the names of the places?” “Yeah...” “So, there's hope!”, Nick urged him. “You know where to look!” Arthur meekly eyed the floor. “It's gonna be a far and difficult journey...”, he muttered. “Or you're lucky and hit the bull's eye at the first try!”, Nick eagerly replied. “Chin up, Arthur, you taught me to never give up! Where's your courage now?” Arthur avoided his gaze, only eyed him from the side. “It's not that I don't want to try. Of course I'll search for him as long as I need to.” “That's the spirit!” “But...is that also what you want?” “Yes...” Nick was puzzled.

Arthur turned around to face him. “You have your band now.” “You made me talk to them!” “Because I knew that this is your dream...your life...”, Arthur explained carefully. “It's what makes you happy.” “Arthur, this is my past!”, Nick blurted out. “Now you're my priority! I want to life with you! I'm glad I made up to the lads, because they are my old friends, but that doesn't mean I want to stay with them forever!” “You rather travel aimlessly in a foreign country without knowing if you achieve anything with this?” “Come on, it's gonna be an adventure.” Nick gave his arm a pat. Arthur didn't cheer up. “I don't even know from what to make a living...It's gonna be very uncomfortable.” “Arthur, don't make me look more spoiled than I really am! I can take it! You didn't live in the poorhouse before turning Downer and you got used to the streets! Also, what if the Germans also like music? And you aren't talentless either.” “Wouldn't you miss your friends? And don't they count on you to join them?” “They know that I have you! I didn't make it up to them to lose you in return!”, Nick shouted. “I don't understand this, Arthur! Do you want to leave me here?” He pointed at his face. “Is it because of my looks? Are you disappointed? Do you feel betrayed?”

Arthur turned away again. “That's not it...I just want you to be happy.” “But I am happy with you! Really, Arthur, if there's something you don't like about me, tell me!” “I like everything about you!”, Arthur affirmed. “I just don't want you to be disappointed.” “I won't! Trust me, please, everything I want is you! After cheating death, I'm happy that you gave me a new life! Now I want to make you happy too!” “Oh, Nick...You're always so eager to help”, Arthur said shaking his head. “But you don't know what you're getting yourself into...” “But you do? Have you been in Germany before?” “No, but I have no choice...” “Me neither.” Nick came closer and took his hands. “Here and now, I swear I'll be faithful to you until my dying day. I'll accompany and assist you until the very end. You'll never be alone again.”

Arthur sighed, trying to hide how much he craved for this. “You don't know what you're talking about...”, he said quietly. “Yes, I know!” Nick was upset. “Do you think I'm that naïve? Do you take me for a baby, Arthur?” “No...” “So you think I'm too stupid to learn? I know what faith is!” Arthur squeezed his hands. “You said you love many...” “Yes, but I know how much pain I caused! I don't want this anymore! I don't want to lose you!” “And you? Wouldn't you suffer?” “I thought it was worse than it actually is”, Nick said truthfully. “I broke first ground today. I gave someone a knock-back, so to speak, and see, I'm still alive.” Arthur looked at him. “You quickly find other options...”, he whispered. “That's not what I was getting at!”, Nick flared up. “I rejected someone just for you!” “This must've been hard for you...” “It wasn't fun, but it was worth it. I'm sure I'll do it again.” Arthur was speechless for a while. “You really are stubborn as a mule, aren't you?”, he then produced.

“Indeed. Now look at me for once! Don't you like my face anymore?” Arthur lifted his gaze from the floor but still didn't dare to look Nick in the eyes. “Is it the hair colour?”, Nick asked waving his hands. “I'll grow the moustache back in case that's what's bothering you. It's just that I couldn't wear it under the mask. The bloody thing didn't hold on facial hair and kept falling off..” Arthur had to laugh against his will at the image. He finally met Nick's eyes, viewed every inch of his face. “Yes, I like you...”, he whispered. “And that's why...” He stopped and fell quiet. “I think we should take counsel with our pillows about that”, Nick said placably. Arthur looked doubting, but he also ran a hand along Nick's back.

Nick finally grabbed him by the hips and threw him over his shoulder. “Come on, let's get to bed.” Arthur uttered a yelp. “Nick! I swear, you're gonna break something!” “Yeah, my heart, if I keep listening to you!” “I'm serious! Put me down!” “Stop with the antics already, or I'll get really mad! If you don't want me anymore, you can just as well tell me in the morning!” “Oh, Nick...” Nick put Arthur to bed and was gentle despite everything. He lay down next to him and pulled the blanked over them. “May I sleep by your side or don't you like that either?” Arthur wordlessly pulled him closer.

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