#also i am 100% of the opinion that yang hao fucking hates wu xie

[undyingsunshine]

Also because I am a glutton for punishment: hiding face in neck (3) + running fingers through hair (2)

(No pressure to write any or all of these btw !!)

(Fuckkkkk now I am also Thinking about Them)

Sierra you gave me sO MANY PROMPTS I LOVE YOU <3 and YES YES THINK WITH ME!!! THINK WITH ME ABOUT THEM!!! My new tumblr goal: get as many people as possible to like this ship ((JOKES JOKES JOKES))

I'm answering this one first because the prompts instantly gave me a more solid idea for something I vaguely had in my drafts. And guess what :) It's :) Angsty :) As fuck :) And i'M SORRY I'M SO SORRY ALL I CAN DO IS WRITE ANGST IDK WHY??? Like. Hurt No Comfort is one of my least favourite things to read ever and yet??? here I am??? writing it???? ((Kind of a lie, there is a smidgen of comfort here but still. That one fic I wrote. yknow the one. Is the definiton of hurt no comfort))

ANYWAY. I PROMISE I'LL MAKE THE OTHER ONES MUCH NICER BC U DESERVE IT FOR THE HELL I PUT YOU THROUGH 💙💙💙💙 But for now. Have ur daily dose of Suffering, fresh out of the raging inferno that is my soul :) Drabble under the cut! (Which I finally figured out how to do???? HECK YEA!)

((Extra kind of unrelated note, while finishing this off I was listening to Bulletproof Love by Pierce The Veil on repeat. Give it a listen if you feel like suffering more :) ))

Warnings: vague allusions to tomb of the sea, talk of snakes, general angstyness

Yang Hao knows a lot about Li Cu.

Yang Hao knows that Li Cu prefers sleeping on his back or on his right - knows that the left side of Li Cu's neck is a source of sensory nightmare. He knows that some days are better than others, but on the other days, even the collars of his shirts border on the realms of unbearably comfortable. He knows some days - inversely - consist of him stubbornly wearing anything that covers at least most of his throat, unable to stomach the feeling of it being out in the open. Exposed.

Li Cu has never truly spoke about what happened, but the faded puncture scars are plenty enough to get Yang Hao's mind reeling with awful visions, some of which infiltrate his dreams, rampaging through and leaving nothing but tear stains that no one else is present - or awake - to witness, and brutal aftershocks that introduce newer chasms in his heart; pits of despair reserved only for the boy that sleeps, blissfully (...?) unaware, beside him.

Yang Hao knows that Li Cu has a phobia of snakes.

He knows this from the times his smile instantly dropped at the sight of one. Times times where Li Cu had laced their fingers together in order to (not so) subtly move Yang Hao's hand off his rapidly beating heart, a thunderous rhythm triggered by any hint of a hissing noise.

Yang Hao knows Li Cu is suffering.

But what Yang Hao doesn't know is how to help. Or even approach the matter. Su Wan is easy to rile up, easy to intimidate and easy to convince. It doesn't take long before he cracks and starts talking about his problems. Li Cu? Not so much. He's stubborn and, worst of all, closed off about anything concerning the nightmare sequence that was... well... everything that fucker Wu Xie put him through. The second it's hinted at, there's no real telling what he'll do, at least not exactly. Sometimes he'll snap, insisting there's 'nothing to talk about' (a blatant lie even Su Wan wouldn't believe); sometimes he'll become distant and avoidant until the topic is changed; sometimes he'll straight up leave, using any and all excuses to escape the situation. There's no way of getting to open up (...yet)

So Yang Hao does what he can.

He lets Li Cu turn away. He lets Li Cu bury (or moreso hide) his head in his neck, doing his best to not focus on the shallow, hitched breaths, or the way Li Cu swallows down his nausea, or the way Li Cu's hand tightens ever so slightly more around his. Instead, he concentrates on threading his own slightly shaky (from anger, helplessness or worry, he's never really been able to tell) free hand through Li Cu's hair as soothingly as he can. He lets Li Cu take as long as he needs to focus entirely on any other sensation Yang Hao so willingly gives to him, until the brewing storm passes over and their chests finally banish the cursed, bated breath that had built up behind their ribs. Synchronised. Practiced. A routine that shouldn't have to exist, but persist it still does.

The pain is soul deep: etched into their bones, woven into their muscles and tatooed in their nerves. No fibre of their beings is left unmarked. But, at the very least, they can bare through it together. A small victory, some may say, but not to them. Because it shows they survived. That they overcame all the bullshit thrown at them and came out alive, even if it wasn't in one piece, it's enough.

To hold each other's hand. To hear each other breathe. To exist in each other's presence.

It's small. But it's enough.

#prompt fill #li cu #yang hao #tomb of the sea #this kind of sucks bcs i didnt spent THAT long on it #like i spent just a few hours here and there on it over a couple days #unlike other writings which can take me.... so much longer #because i write SO SLOWLY #BUT YES HERE WE ARE #FIRST PROMPT FILL! THANK YOU AGAIN SIERRA FOR SENDING SO MANY I LOVE YOU #i will try to get them (and the hand writing ask) done soon! XD #for now ill leave you with this bittersweet thing #hopefully ill come back with something less bitter and more sweet #for both of our sanity #the sensory stuff is VERY LIGHT projection ngl. once again my personal experiences are described via Li Cu suffering. #my focus for li cu has heavily veered into how fucked up he definitely mustve been once sha hai ended #not sure if he would really act the way i described here tbh #doesnt feel entirely right for him - but it was fun to kind of explore nonetheless #also i am 100% of the opinion that yang hao fucking hates wu xie #like. not only does he work for huo daofu he's also seen what he's done to li cu. no way in hell is that a recipe for him harbouring any #positive feelings towards that man #okok ill stop rambling now I HOPE YOU ENJOYED LMFAO #angry lonely 19 year old talking about another angry lonely 19 year old #((this post keeps bugging tf out on mobile and a bit on desktop and im praying it posts okay))