#also if anybody reading this does have more knowledge about school feel free 2 chime in

[thegeminisage]

Dear Ms Liz: you're a certified adult so I was hoping you might have some advice for a hs senior such as myself who's in full blown paaaanic mode over college admissions. how do i *not* anxiety??

ok disclaimer that i did have to drop out of college so i feel like i may be unqualified to address most of the SPECIFICS re: higher ed, but i AM a certified adult and pretzels are the same, etc - meaning anxiety is anxiety is anxiety & i've had like 20+ years of practice managing it so maybe i am qualified for that much. this is a very sweet ask actually im honored anybody has this much faith in me

anyway first of all address the root of the fear. what EXACTLY are you scared of? not getting them done in time? of doing badly on them? of picking the wrong schools? i've had..."a lot"...of "therapy"... & the most helpful part so far was learning the skill of figuring out WHY you feel a particular way, bc that helps w/ addressing it. if you're worried about not getting them done in time, try to work on them a little bit at a time instead of letting dread paralyze you and then getting into a cycle of fear-based procrastination. if it's doing badly on them, maybe you can get a teacher or guidance counselor* or older relative or friend to look them over for you and give you validation. it's about figuring out what you need to feel less overwhelmed and scared, and then securing that for yourself. it's a good skill to have!!!

(*i might be talking out of my ass here but i feel like unless you go to a completely garbage public school you should be able to find SOMEBODY in that building willing to be a pair of second eyes for you. if not, try online. i just checked and r*ddit has a sub called r/applyingtocollege. bad website yes but as long as you don't venture into the wrong parts you can get advice from all kinds of people bc normies use it. source: i have gotten good advice there before! it's never a bad thing to ask for help or ask questions - at the very least it shows other people that you're taking shit seriously and being proactive, yk?)

secondly i CAN tell you this will NOT be your only opportunity at higher ed. my brother had to drop out at the same time as me (money, sigh) and eventually he saved up and went back. and it was no big deal, and now he has a job in his chosen field! so in the absolute worst case scenario that your cat eats every one of the applications & none of them get turned in, it is still not the end of the world. idk, sometimes i like to hash out worst case scenarios and make contingency plans - this can turn into catastrophizing if you aren't careful, but sometimes i find that doing that makes me realize, logically, how unlikely a worst case scenario is and how recoverable it can be. like, i doubt my house will ever catch fire, but having a plan to get me & the pets to safety and knowing that even if my house is gone me & the pets would still be ok still makes me feel BETTER? if you're playing disaster scenarios in your head anyway you may as well give them happy endings.

AND finally. wow sorry this got long. please remember that emotions are temporary. actually everything is temporary but especially feelings. people are sort of like computers in that if you turn it off and turn it back on again they work better. make sure you are getting enough food, actual water, sleep, deep breathing, enrichment in your enclosure, etc. you'd be amazed at how much seeing to your physical needs will make the mental stress seem less dire and all-consuming. a lot of the time if the FEELING seems too big and too much and you can't handle it like you can just...wait it out. bc it's temporary. like literally sometimes you can just take a nap and suddenly it seems a lot more manageable, yk?

ok this has gotten long enough but GOOD LUCK!! i think youre gonna ace those admissions, but i also think even if you dont youre gonna have a great time doing other stuff and that you'll be ok <3

#liz answers asks #anonymous #sorry that's a lot of words for a college dropout. ilu though it's gonna be ok #come back anytime idk anything about school but i'd love to know how it went <3 #also if anybody reading this does have more knowledge about school feel free 2 chime in