#also no offense to Ford because i love him but Perry would lowkey despise him

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

And now for more P&F/GF content! At the end of Gideon Rises, the Danville kids have a sleepover with the twins, but Perry, in pet mode, sees Stan open the door behind the vending machine. He sneaks behind him to investigate, and when he sees the portal, he thinks he should report this to OWCA. However, Stan sees that Perry followed him, but doesn't think much of it since he thinks he's just a dumb animal, so he vents to him about Ford to get it off his chest, and now Perry is morally conflicted.

WAIT A SECOND I LOVE THAT???

okay long ramble under the cut y'all know the drill by now

Okay but first of all imagine how Perry would feel when Stan first started talking to him because holy shit is he a monologue magnet or something?  

I’d be interested to know what he’d do in that situation, though. Part of me thinks you might be right -- Stan is doing this because he loves his family, and I think on some level, Perry would almost relate to him? Because if at2d proved anything, it’s that Perry would do anything for his family, including turning himself in to let an evil dictator from another dimension turn him into a cyborg.

But on the other hand, he hears sob stories every single day from Heinz, and though a lot of them are just really fucking stupid, there have been a lot that would tug on anyone’s heartstrings and Perry still ignores them and does his job. Sure, Heinz’s inventions are usually made with some malicious intent, but Stan’s portal is arguably more dangerous, so they're kind of equally as thwartable?

This is lowkey looking like a fanfic in the making so even though I genuinely don’t know which response would be more in character, I do have to say that if I were to write a fanfic about this he’d take the sympathetic approach, if only because he can tell this is eating Stan alive. It’s been three whole decades, and this is the first time Stan has dropped his guard and told someone about what happened. Perry may not know what this portal is going to do -- and it doesn’t sound like Stan knows, either -- but he can’t in good conscience stop Stan from going through with it. 

Instead, Perry would become the project supervisor. He’d sit by the vending machine every night, and every night, Stan would let him in -- reluctantly at first, but I think he’d grow to like having Perry around. It’s one thing to talk to himself about what he’s doing, but talking to someone else is oddly therapeutic, even if that someone else is a mindless platypus.

And then Not What He Seems happens, and Stan’s taken into custody before he can finish what he’s doing, and it occurs to Perry that he was the least qualified person to supervise this project. I almost feel like he would end up going to Heinz and asking him to watch over this portal because sure, this isn’t quite like his usual tricks, but it’s not like Heinz has never opened a portal into another dimension before, and someone needs to keep an eye on things. 

But Heinz would just help because he’s interested in the science behind it, not because he wants to help Stan though I do headcanon that they would be good friends if they spent more time together. Perry’s really the only one on Stan’s side here, and at this point, basically the entire world is against him -- the kids, federal agents, hell, even OWCA asked him to investigate. I feel like he’d know Stan well enough to know that he would fight his way back to the Mystery Shack out of pure determination, so Perry wouldn’t bother trying to help him escape; he’d spend his time making sure Stan had a clear path back and keeping the kids out of the way (which is not an easy feat as a “mindless platypus” but he does manage to slow them down). 

I almost wish there was a way to work in a secret agent reveal (or at least a “I have more than two braincells” reveal), but while I don’t think it would work out, I’m gonna give my two cents about it anyway because now that I’ve thought of doing that I really like that idea anyway.

At first, Stan would be like 0_0 because oh shit, the platypus was listening this entire time. Stan's got a reputation to uphold, and he never would have dropped his guard around Perry if he'd known. But Perry would really respect him for what he did, and he'd make sure Stan knows that — something that would mean a lot to him when he noticed the kids gravitating more towards Ford.

I think Perry might grow to dislike Ford purely because he likes Stan so much. I mean, Perry watched Stan work his ass of for weeks to get that portal working and he'd been doing it for decades before, and Ford steps back through and is literally ready to fight a bitch. He hears all about what Stan's been up to over the last 30 years, and his response is to tell Stan to pack his bags and get the fuck out once summer's over. I feel like Perry would be lowkey protective of Stan just like he's lowkey protective of Heinz, and while he can't really do anything about not liking Ford or Roger, he's still going to be there for those Stan and Heinz when they need him to be.

The difference is that Stan would never admit that he needs Perry's reassurance, and it's not like Perry can just pat him on the back whenever he wants to because he's off the clock which means he constantly has to worry about the kids catching himm The best he can do is notice when Stan's getting annoyed and stop what he's doing to go sit down on the couch with him or lie down by his feet or do something just to remind him that someone's still on his side. And, as an added bonus, that's been known to draw Mabel's attention, and that draws everyone else's attention, too.

Ooh it didn't occur to me until I said that but what if the kids start noticing that when Perry hangs out with Stan, he usually looks sad? I feel like Phineas is the type of kid to be decide that his pet is a Sad Detector® and then whenever Perry's sitting next to Stan, the kids decide they need to somehow cheer Stan up. bonus points if Perry notices Ford is sad and even though he doesn't like Ford he still decides to sit down by his feet just to make sure the kids give him some love too.

#why did tumblr take out all my tags ughhh gotta do it again #pnf #perry the platypus #gravity falls #pnf/gf crossover #stan pines #look i have sn ask #gideon rises #not what he seems #also no offense to Ford because i love him but Perry would lowkey despise him