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prxttylittle · 5 years

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“Sometimes it feels like my world is falling apart.”, “Am I good enough for you?”, AND “What is it about me that makes you hate me so much?”

“Sometimes it feels like my world is falling apart.”

{ v ;; the princess and the moon.

Prince was confused to come home and find the lights dimmed and his wife sitting at the kitchen table, telling him she’d made his favourites. Now that he thought about it, he had been a little suspicious that Nick had offered to babysit Leo for a few hours, out of nowhere. He was also suspicious that his friends had wanted a day out without that meaning day-drinking or even scoffing their faces. It all added up now, they’d just been distracting him. It was unnecessary, really, in his opinion considering she was the one going through a tough time, not him. Usually, he greeted her with a kiss but since their fight the previous day, things had been tense between them. Prince had been harsh but Luna hadn’t really given him anything to work with. He shrugged off his jacket and sat down across from her at the table. He frowned when she started apologising for pushing him away. “I needed to do things that kept me busy to keep me from thinking about how shit my life feels right now. There were better ways to deal with everything, so I’m sorry and I love you.” Prince sighed and didn’t speak for a moment, his eyes just searching those of his wife. He understood, partly, where she was coming from. Prince didn’t really know what it was like to lose someone he loved. He cared about Cass, sure, but he never had near a bond to her as Luna did, he couldn’t really understand the pain. Luna had had to lose her mother, her father and her best friend and he couldn’t begin to really relate to what that meant for her. Prince didn’t technically have his parents but he bore no love for them so it wasn’t even comparable. He shook his head. “You don’t have to apologise to me. I love you, too, but your life isn’t shit, Luna. You’ve got a beautiful child who loves you.” He was going to add in about a husband that loves her and a great job but he chose to focus on the most important aspect of their life together; their son, their pride and joy, because she could hardly argue against that, right? He pursed his lips together when he noticed her getting visibly upset. “Sometimes it feels like my world is falling apart.” She barely got her sentence out before Prince was already on her side of the table, sitting beside her and pulling her in to his chest, cradling her as he ran a hand through her hair. His lips pressed gently against her forehead, hovering for a moment. He let the silence fall between them as he held her for a little bit, letting it last for a few minutes before speaking again. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad with you for pushing me away. I mean– what the fuck do I know about grief? I should have let you deal with it but I just wanted you to know you’ve got me, no matter what.” He pulled away slightly now so he could look her in the eyes, smiling softly. He kissed her, sweet and slow. “I’m sorry.”

{ v ;; no reason.

The words that escaped from Iola’s lips caused Jason to frown. He had honestly thought she was asleep until he heard her voice. Lying on his back, he turned so he was facing her, watching as she did the same. It had been a tough few days for Iola, Jason knew. He nodded slowly, reaching across the bed to take her hand in his. He brought hers to his lips, brushing against her knuckles with a soft kiss. “I know, babe.” He mumbled. He shuffled closer to her so he could wrap his arms around her, and practically his whole body as he engulfed her in his embrace. His lips grazed her forehead. Jason was being so soft and gentle with her, unsure really of how to act. He wanted to be there for her and he wanted her to not feel any sadness, but he knew that was impossible. He couldn’t take her pain away. All he could do was hold her, and kiss her, and love her. It was all he had to offer her and he hoped it was enough. Jason ran a hand through her hair, brushing loose strands out of her face. “I’ve got an idea. C’mere.” He clambered over her and out of the bed, holding out a hand for her to take. It was late, he wasn’t sure what time exactly but he knew it was late. He figured neither of them were going to get much sleep before the funeral tomorrow anyway so he wasn’t disturbing much by pulling her out of bed. He lifted her up so her legs were wrapped around his waist and her face tucked into the crook of his neck and he did his best to be silent as possible walking through the house, to avoid waking their son. They got into the kitchen and Jason set Iola down on the island in the centre of the room. Jason poured them both a glass of wine. He then unplugged the earphones out from where they were charging and handed her one. He pressed play on the playlist in their shared Spotify, the playlist that was just for them, one he hadn’t listened to in so long. Another thing they hadn’t done in so long was-- “Dance with me.” He spoke with a childlike grin on his face. He knew she wasn’t really in the mood, she was sad and grieving but it had been years since they’d fallen out of bed in the middle of the night to dance around the house like idiots. Unchained Melody came on shuffle and he held out a hand for her. When she met him on the floor, he pulled her in to kiss her. His hand rested on the small of her back, his other hand wrapping around hers. He felt her head fall against his chest as they started to dance in the centre the kitchen. While the sadness hadn’t faded, it was nice to be close to one another. The kitchen was dim, the only glow coming from the lights that lit up the countertops. It was dark outside, but the moon provided a glowing reflection on the kitchen tiles. He kissed the top of her head, lightly, before he started to speak. “I know it feels like your whole world is falling apart right now, babe, but you’re going to get through it. You’ve got Freds and you’ve got me and the rest of your family. I’m never going to not be there for you, no matter what, my love.” He pulled back slightly so he could smile down at her, reassuring her of his words. He pressed a kiss to her lips. He pressed their bodies together again to carry on slow-dancing as The Righteous Brothers played in their ears. Jason jumped slightly when the big light turned on, flooding the room with brightness. He turned around to see their son standing in the doorway, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and asking why they were dancing with no music on. Jason chuckled lightly and let his hands fall away from Iola. He took the earphone from his ear, disconnecting it so that the speaker would play the music out loud instead. A pop song came on shuffle then and Jason pulled Freddie up into his arms, dancing around with him with so much energy that the child’s giggle filled the house. He looked over to Iola and could see the adoration on her face for her boys. He hoped she could see just how okay they were going to be, all three of them together.

{ v ;; july 17th.

Zayn really didn't and couldn’t bring himself to understand Ari’s mother. It had been revealed on international television that Ari’s dad had abused her yet her mother somehow felt it appropriate to invite him round for dinner so they could resolve it? He honestly couldn't wrap his head around it, and he had wanted to let both her parents know just how strongly he felt but his girlfriend was more important. “Are you okay?” Zayn pondered as they entered their hotel room. He followed her to the bed, turning on the lights behind her. When they settled on the mattress and as she fell into his embrace, she finally spoke to him. “Sometimes I feel like my world is falling apart.” She confessed and Zayn felt his heart shatter for her. They both had had high hopes after Ari’s mother invited them for dinner, considering the concern Zayn had revolving the judgement that may come that he’d gone between dating two sisters in the family. When he was dating Perrie, their mother liked him and he’d known that. He got along very well with her and she talked fondly of him when he wasn’t around, he’d heard from Perrie many times. He wasn’t sure if that was still going to stand now that it was not only revealed how poorly he actually treated her on account of his drug abuse throughout their relationship but he had swiftly moved on to date her twin sister like it was no big deal. Now, Zayn didn’t care what her family thought of him. He believed they owed Ari the basic respect of not giving her father any kind of second chance or benefit of the doubt upon learning about his abusive tendencies. “It’s not.” He encouraged her, kissing the top of her head, rubbing a soothing hand up and down her arm. “He’s done enough to hurt you and you shouldn’t let him make you feel like this anymore. Your world is doing just fine despite everything he’s done to change that and I refuse to let him or your mum or anyone else try to push you down like that. This isn’t a setback, you went, you saw him and you left. Nothing bad happened, your world didn’t ‘fall apart’, and you were so strong.” Zayn pulled back so her head was no longer laying on his chest, forcing her to meet his gaze. He smiled, a timid one but a smile nonetheless. “You’re doing just fine, and I am proud.”

{ v ;; what if.

Ashton had only been partly confused when his phone rang at 2AM and it was Ari asking him to come and collect her. He was quick in obliging and had been over to her home in less than thirty minutes. The car ride back to his apartment was awkward and silent. Ashton didn't want to push what was wrong and Ari obviously didn't want to talk about it. Ashton tried to piece together what happened but there was so many possibilities, all signs pointing to Zayn of course. Ashton had seen the reunion episode of Gyhab which had aired lived the night previous. Zayn wasn’t in it. Ashton didn’t know if Zayn couldn’t make it or if he didn’t want to but when he’d watched he had hoped something happened that the married couple didn’t want to be together. Ashton would never tell anyone that he hoped that, but he did. Ashton looked over to Ari when he noticed the sound of her sniffling; she was crying. He didn’t say anything but he took one hand from the wheel to place it on her thigh, squeezing encouragingly. They pulled into the drive of his apartment and he ignored how tightly she wrapped her hood over her head. He doubted any paparazzi were lurking at this hour of the night especially around his apartment but he chose not to question her. “Tea?” He offered weakly when they entered through his front door. She shook her head and stated she was just tired. Ashton couldn’t stand how awkward it was between them, he just didn’t understand why. He got that Ari felt guilty whenever she came running to Ashton during her marital issues only to return to her husband the next day without a second thought. He wondered if the tension was because they both had done this so many times that they knew it was going to happen again. Neither of them were even pretending that her being here meant anything more than it should this time. Ashton sighed as he pulled up the covers for her to lay down. She wrapped a hand around his wrist and asked him to say, to which of course he agreed. Ashton snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her body in close to his, letting his lips graze her neck lightly. “I hope you’re okay, Ari. I don’t know what happened but you deserve to feel alright.” He whispered into the dark of the night. Silence for a moment. “Sometimes I feel like my world is just falling apart.” She finally spoke and what could Ashton say to that? It wasn’t as if he was about to start going off an a ten-minute speech on why Ari had the perfect life. He couldn’t say that for or to her. Everytime they did this, he held her and did his best to distract her and then she would leave, he felt his world fall apart. He chose not to relate by saying that, either. He nodded. “You’re safe here.” He paused. “With me. You can always lean on me, whether your world is falling apart or you’re on top of it, I’m always going to be here.” His arm didn’t move from her waist when she finally turned around in the bed to face him. He smiled softly despite how she could barely see him. “I’m not going anywhere.” He mumbled, leaning in to connect their lips.

“Am I good enough for you?”

{ v ;; the princess and the moon.

Prince had been painting when Luna showed up at his apartment. He didn’t do it very often-- to Panda’s disdain. His sister loved when he put time into his hobby of art but Prince just never had the muse or the time. He mostly put his artistic energy into tattooing himself. Well, he’d been finished painting when Luna showed up. He’d just set the canvas to the side of the room to dry and was about to clean up when she fell onto the floor beside him. She’d complimented his painting and the moment had turned so sweet that Prince had been uncomfortable and, to ease the tension between them, had taken a paintbrush covered in yellow and flicked it her way, splattering yellow dots down her face and shirt. To retaliate, she’d dipped a hand in red paint and dragged it down his chest, making him furious at first until he was coming back with a splash of blue until eventually his floor, the pile of laundry at the end of the bed, some of the wall and most importantly the two of them were covered in paint. He tackled her to the floor to get her to stop flinging paint his direction, pinning her down underneath him. His eyes scanned her face, red and blue mingling to make purple, yellow splotches like bright freckles. He smirked, taking one hand from pinning her arm down to cup her face. His thumb brushed the drying paint on her skin, scraping through some white paint to turn the purple into lilac. It looked good and he couldn’t help but smile. And just as he leaned in to kiss her, Luna spoke. “Am I good enough for you?” She asked and he frowned, pausing. It was an unexpected, to say the least. It had no correlation to any recent conversation nor what they were doing right now. He loosened his grip where he was still pinning her down to the floor and pulled back slightly. He didn’t understand why she would ask that, especially considering how many times she, and others, had said how she deserved much better than him. Usually, the serious talk or the attempt to discuss feelings was something that made Prince run a mile. He would either tell her to shut the fuck up or storm out, bar the few times he’d confessed the truth. He didn’t feel so afraid right now. Prince leaned back in, pressing his lips to hers lightly and letting his eyes flutter closed. He was being sweet, somewhat gentle with her, his lips ghosting her own. There was nothing heated about, no aggression or intense passion like it usually was with them. There was a twisting in his stomach as he kissed her like this, some kinds of nerves or unsettling that he didn’t appreciate but chose to ignore. Prince pulled back, his eyes remaining closed for a beat. They finally blinked open, his gaze meeting hers. “’Course you are, babe.” Prince whispered. He dipped a finger onto the palette beside them, wetting his digit in green paint. He dotted a smiley face on her cheek, smirking playfully. “More than enough.”

{ v ;; no reason.

Jason grabbed his phone out of Iola’s hand and marched away from her and into the bedroom. He didn’t doubt she was going to follow him, demanding who the girl in his Instagram DM’s was. “I don’t know, Iola!” He snapped, his voice raised louder than he had intended. “I didn’t even fucking text her back, so why are you getting angry at me?” He still hadn’t turned to face her since storming away from her, his irritation growing the more she questioned his loyalty to her. He knew if he saw the fury on her face, he'd just get more annoyed. He busied himself by picking through his laundry and putting it away, still ignoring her. Eventually he felt her hand on his arm, turning him around. Their scowls were almost mirroring when their gaze met, both annoyed at one another. Iola detailed how that one wasn’t the only girl and he rolled his eyes. “I have a lot of followers Iola, some of them are bound to message me.” And he scoffed when she pointed out that he’d been flirting with the girl that served them at the restaurant earlier and she’d ‘totally caught him checking out the neighbour’ whom Jason had helped carry a box into the next-door apartment when they’d bumped into her on their way into the building. “Now you’re just making stuff up for the sake of fighting with me. I’m just a friendly guy, there’s nothing wrong with that!” Jason couldn’t understand Iola’s jealousy half the time. When they had first met and started dating he was a nervous, stuttering wreck and remained that way for weeks, even months into their relationship. How she assumed he could find the confidence to chat up so many girls on a daily basis was a mystery to him. “This is exhausting.” Jason stormed past Iola and back into the kitchen, pulling a beer from the fridge. He slammed the fridge door shut just as she caught up to him. “Jason, am I good enough for you?” And just that question was enough to wash away all of his anger. His eyes met hers and he could see the sincerity in her features, if her tone hadn’t been enough. He bit down on his lip and sighed, placing his beer on the counter before making his way across the room to her. He placed a hand on either of her arms, rubbing up and down soothingly. Jason kissed her forehead. “Good enough, more than enough, too good.” He mumbled, his words slightly muffled from the fact his lips were still on her. “I could never find anyone better for me than you, and I wouldn't want to. I love you.” He shook his head. “You are more than good enough for me and that’s why I don’t understand how you get so-- so angry and so jealous. I would never want anyone else, I will never want anyone but you.” He pressed another kiss to her forehead, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, around her mouth and then finally kissed her lips. “Okay?”

{ v ;; july 17th.

Zayn sighed and looked at their counsellor who was looking between them. Part of Zayn hated how he could never read her expression, she was so good at keeping it straight. “See, she always says things like that. Like, how many times can I tell her she’s good enough for me until it just starts feeling like a habit?” Zayn glanced to Ari. When they agreed to start doing counselling together, he had this kind of cinematic-expectation where they just show up, she tells them what they’ve done wrong to lead their relationship to be like this for her to then tell them what to do to fix it. It had been nothing like that. The first time she had made them fill out a questionnaire which Zayn had felt childish doing. The next few times she had made them talk so much about their relationship that Zayn felt uncomfortable. She gave advice in tiny tidbits unlike sounding out every bit of relationship-knowledge she had stored in her brain in the first session, like Zayn had been unrealistically hoping for. A lot of the time she didn’t even really give advice or offer an opinion and left Ari and Zayn to have the floor while she sometimes intervened with a ‘why’ or a ‘how does that feel’ between arguments. He really had believed this was going to be easy but it was far from it. Zayn crossed his arms and sat back in the seat when the counsellor focused her attention on Zayn, asking why he thinks Ari would ask him that. He shrugged, avoiding his fiancees gaze. “Because she’s insecure.” He answered, short. There was silence and Zayn knew a much better answer was expected of him. He sat forward rubbing his hands together. “Uh, because when she first told me about her self harm, I didn’t really say anything. Then, I broke up with her because I didn’t want her to, like, rely on me so much and then” he paused, rubbing his hands over his face, feeling the guilt consume him as he reminisced on their relationship. “Then I left her when she told me she relapsed because I thought it somehow meant she didn’t, like, love me enough to stop. And, probably, because after our son died I stopped spending time with her and even really talking to her so that I could grieve on my own.” Zayn hated when it was his turn to admit his faults in the relationship. The therapist nodded and there was something soothing about her silence, for once. It made Zayn feel like he could talk. Having her there meant a neutral mediator and not just constant back-and-forth between he and Ari. He probably wouldn’t confess that to Ari afterwards though. “She probably says that because I treat her like she’s not good enough.” He admitted with a sigh. Zayn had never actually listed out loud the things he'd done to hurt Ari. He’s apologised and they’ve moved on but they never go back to talking about it. “Zayn, do you think Ari is not enough for you?” She asked and Zayn felt almost humoured by the question but he had to stop himself from laughing when he realised the things he’d just listed that indicated otherwise. He shook his head. “Of course not. I love Ari.” He looked to Ari now, taking her hand. “I do, I love you. I can’t change the way I’ve acted but I guess that’s why we’re here. I want to prove myself to you. You are good enough and I want to marry you and spend our lives together, happy.”

{ v ;; katie and leo.

Katie sighed when Leo started talking about how he thought it was time that they stop messing around and finally get together. She had given him this exact same speech three months earlier but he turned her down he had made some good points that were all coming to her mind now. They weren't ready, she felt. She was still too young, as was he. Katie didn’t want them to get together only for them to become bored of each other by the time school was over or when they got older and realised they’d missed out on other stuff by only being with one another. She sighed, and reached past him to pick up her shirt to bring it over her head. Maybe the benefits thing was the issue. If they were fooling around but not being exclusive, then maybe they were just causing more harm than good. “Leo, we’ve talked about this.” Katie pulled her shirt over her head and climbed off the bed, feeling his arms fall from where they’d been at her waist. She missed his touch already. “We’re not ready to be together. I think you know that, too. You’re just bored right now and want us to move on with something.” She shrugged, not 100% believing her words but she needed an excuse to turn him down. She watched as he turned around on the bed to face her. “Am I good enough for you?” he challenged and she was across the room in seconds, her hands on either side of his face. “Shut up, Leo. That's not what this is about. You’re more than enough for me, you’re my best fucking friend and I would never want anyone in my life as much as I do you.” She kissed him with passion. Katie truly loved Leo but something about them becoming a couple in the school halls was just scary to her. She wasn't really sure why, it’s not as if she cared about what the other kids thought. It was more of a personal thing. “I fucking love you, I just don’t want to be your ‘girlfriend’ just yet.” She smirked as she pulled away from him. “But don’t worry, I’ll probably offer again in another three months and you can turn me down next.”

“What is it about me that makes you hate me so much?”

{ v ;; the princess and the moon.

Prince rolled his eyes, and made an attempt to leave the room but she blocked his pathway. He huffed out a breath and glared down at her. “Get the fuck out of my way.” He snarled but, adding to his infuriation, she didn’t. It was starting to seem quite stupid of her to even ask why he hated her so much when all she ever did was give him reasons to. He sighed and stepped away from her, aware he wasn’t getting out of the room until he answered her question. “Because you’re so fucking annoying. I’ve literally never met someone as annoying as you in my fucking life. It’s like you know that you’re annoying too and you try to add to it just to piss me off. You purposely piss me off all the fucking time. You speak in Spanish despite how I know that you know the English for what you’re trying to say. You ask too many questions in class, you chew gum so fucking loudly it makes me want to tear it out of your fucking mouth. And you style your fucking school uniform, like, we all wear the same one why do you have to make yours look so fucking–” And he wished, he so wished he didn’t pause. Because the hesitation gave him away. The unfinished sentence and all it’s possible endings swirled around in his mind– the words hot, beautiful, sexy all danced in his brain and it just got under his skin even further. His anger and his irritation was growing with each given second he spent in this room. He went to leave again but she was still blocking him. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t shoved her out of the way instead of allowing her to trap him inside the room like she was. He huffed out a breath, his nostrils flaring as he did so. His gaze settled on hers, the anger evident on his features. “Why d’you have to ask why I hate you? This is fucking why. Move.” She did not. Prince wrapped a hand around her arm but he didn’t move her, he just held on. He leaned in, his face close to hers. He was trying to be intimidating but something about the moment felt more heated than he was expecting. “I wouldn’t make a habit out of crossing me, if I were you.” His tone was low, and threatening. It was a threat. It was definitely a threat, so Prince didn’t understand how suddenly she had her hands on his neck, her legs wrapped around his waist as he pulled her up with his hands under thighs, their lips kissing furiously at each other. It wasn’t sweet, or even nice for that matter. It was just violent, clashing of lips and teeth as he carried her to the bed.

{ v ;; no reason.

Jason just had to laugh. He really had no other choice, he just had to let the noise fall from his lips. He couldn’t believe that this was his life, his girlfriend and her words were serious. He shook his head. “You’re so dramatic.” He spoke, his tone not as amused-sounding as his laughter had been. “--I’m not saying that, like, as an answer to you as in that’s something I hate about you I’m just stating that you are.” He could tell she wasn’t amused but frankly, neither was he. Jason didn’t know if Iola was trying to provide something for her to do with her day since she had the day off but he didn't consider it very fair for her to start a fight with him five minutes before he had to go out the door. Couldn't she use her boredom to play Candy Crush or look up memes on the internet? He didn’t understand why she had to constantly start this fight out of nowhere. “Baby, I don’t hate you. Obviously, I don’t hate you. I fucking love you but I’m only 25 and I feel like I can’t even as much as turn the microwave on without supervision. I can’t even imagine how you think you’re old enough to get married. As in, I can’t actually formulate where your thought process is coming from.” He scoffed. He didn't want to make fun of her or make her feel as though her feelings regarding the proposal issue were invalid but her logic was just non-existent in his eyes. “Me not wanting to marry you has nothing to do with my feelings for you, I obviously want to spend the rest of my life with you and I’m going to. If you want to think that I hate you just because I would like to be your boyfriend for a longer time while we are already spending our lives together, then that’s your prerogative. Stop dragging me into it.” And with that, Jason gathered his things and made his way toward the front door. Surely, Iola would spend her day thinking into every little word that came out of his mouth and he would probably come home from work to her fuming at him for marching out without actually doing anything to reassure her that being with her was his priority. He hadn’t done anything to squash her concerns or her fears around their relationship because he hadn’t felt like he’d had to. Standing in the elevator, he had to let out a quiet chuckle to himself as he recalled her asking what she’d done to make him her her so; what a stupid question.

{ v ;; july 17th.

Zayn considered Ari’s question. Apart from sneaking into her room two nights prior to sleep with her, everything he said, and did certainly pointed in the direction of the possibility that he hated her. She made a valid point, there. But when she said it, he knew he didn't. Zayn didn't hate Ari, in fact he believed he had a bit of a crush on her, if he really thought about it. Zayn liked to mess around, though. He was going to tease and tease as much as he could to get the most entertainment as he could out of this. “I don’t know. Maybe I get a kick out of this love-hate relationship we’ve got going.” He laughed when she scoffed at his definition of their relationship. So maybe it was lacking any love, she was right there. Zayn couldn't think of a genuine reason as to why he got such a kick out of making fun of Ari and making her life unnecessarily difficult. Arguing with her, whether it was playful or coming from a mean place, was better than any peaceful conversation Zayn ever had with Perrie. "Maybe you’re just easy to hate, Arianna.” He chuckled quietly when she went to storm away from him because he wasn’t really giving her anything to work with. Zayn let her storm off, going to amuse himself elsewhere in the house. Zayn returned to his own room to see Perrie playing with Hatchi. She beamed up at him and he immediately knew he didn’t want to be here with her. He kissed his girlfriend and threw a toy across the room for Hatchi before making up an excuse that he had just come back to grab a jacket because he was going to head out for a bit with Cody. Zayn happened to know Cody was already out of the house. He quickly slipped back out of his room and made his way to Ari’s. He didn’t bother knocking. “What, Zayn?” He ignored her snippy attitude. “I don’t hate you.” He confessed, locking the door behind him as he stepped into the room. Zayn sat down next to her on the bed, holding her gaze the entire time. “You do annoy me and I don’t get half of your jokes or references and I hate the fact that you hate my child, Hatchi, but I don’t hate you.” His tone was softer now than it had been the first time he was talking to her. He reached out his hand to cover hers. Zayn had enjoyed their night spent together, and while Cody and Perrie remained in the dark, he couldn’t see anything too wrong about it. In fact, he wanted to do it again. He laughed when she pulled her hand away and insisted she hated him. Zayn shuffled closer to her. He leaned in so their faces were inches apart, noticing she didn’t move. “Do you hate me, Ari?” He whispered, feeling the tension fall deep in the air between them. His gaze flicked down to her lips before meeting her eyes again. He smirked. “Cause I don’t think you do.” he leaned in further and when she didn’t pull away again, he kissed her. It was bold and a little outrageous considering their relationships but they’d already slept together. How much harm could this cause, really?

{ b ;; squad goals. I guess

Cassie was practically beaming as she walked through to the kitchen of Matt and Nick’s flat. She hopped up on the counter beside Nick who was attempting to clean but didn’t seem to know the difference between spray for counter-tops and window-cleaner. She continued beaming until he paid attention to her. “What are you grinning about?” He queried before he gave up on scrubbing to make some tea. She looked over to Prince who hadn’t as much as spared her a glance since she walked in. The smell of whatever he was smoking caused her nose to crinkle in disgust before she re-focused on Nick. She took her tea from him. “I have a theory that I think you’re going to love!” She chuckled at the mere thought of it. He didn’t even have to press her any further. “I think that Matt and Luna are sleeping together.” And just as she spoke, Nick practically spat out his tea. He looked at her like she had gone insane. She felt Prince’s eyes on her. Nick informed her that he would know if they were, and so would she for that matter. She shook her head. “I think they’re keeping it a secret. Come on, it makes so much sense!” Cassie placed her cup of tea down so she could talk even more with her hands than she already was. “She’s definitely been sleeping with someone, okay, and I’ve heard whoever it is –Matt– sneak out at, like, 6 in the morning more than once this month. He’s always flirting with her.” She rolled her eyes when Nick insisted that Matt flirts with everybody, pointing out he never flirts with her. She watched as she could see on his face that he was considering the idea. “Okay, listen. She always goes missing at his parties, last week she offered to drop you back your phone charger that you lent me. And remember that time that we ‘randomly’ bumped into Luna literally down the street and she looked all flustered? Like, first of all why was she around here without at least you knowing she’d called around? And you remember Matt said he hadn’t even seen her? I mean, she was hardly at Prince’s considering how much she hates Prince.” She looked over to the raven-haired boy whose presence made her feel uncomfortable. “No offence, Prince.” She quickly added but he just rolled his eyes. “Just keep me out of your stupid theories.” He said before re-focusing on his phone. Cassie turned back to Nick, to catch him putting the pieces together, the sense formulating on his face. She watched his eyes widen. The fact that he was seeing the logic in her theory just helped confirm it for herself. She beamed to herself, proud that she had come up with this. When Nick asked her why they would keep it a secret, she shrugged. “I don’t know, that’s the part I’m struggling with. Like, I’m not going to tell her that I totally know her secret because she obviously wants to keep it hidden for a reason and I respect that but I just don’t get why. Like, is it just because he’s the ugliest out of the three of you? I don’t get why that should matter, Matt is nice and it’s not as if he’s that ugly.” Cassie chewed down on her lower lip. Now that Nick was on board, she was even further convinced of her theory but she just couldn’t figure out why Luna wouldn’t tell her. “What is it about me that makes you hate me so much?” Nick spoke and Cassie frowned, confused. “Now I’m going to watch everything they do and I’m going to be suspicious when he has girls over, which he always does. You’ve ruined them for me, Cassie.” Cassie just rolled her eyes and hopped down off the counter. At the same time, Prince let out a sigh, probably done with hearing Cassie’s voice, and marched out of the room barely offering Nick a goodbye. Cassie re-focused on Nick. “So I’m definitely right, huh? Matt and Luna are for sure having a secret relationship?”

#if you're not listening to unchained melody for Jason and Iola in the first one then don't even BOTHER reading it #im telling u #also imagine being as stupid as @cassie williams #also I rlly only had muse for princess moon and no reason #the others are well u know they're just there :)#ly bye #{ v ;; the princess and the moon.#{ v ;; no reason.#{ v ;; what if.#{ v ;; katie & leo.#{ b ;; squad goals.#beencaughts #memed

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sireneia-a · 6 years

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me realizing there’s twenty-one playable child units in fe4 second gen and thus exactly enough to assign each one an arcana in a persona au. you know what this means kids

it’s all under the cut with attempts at explanations. i know this isn’t rlly the most relevant thing to this blog, but i’ve written metas on characters that aren’t actually muses so i’m letting it slide. fe4 spoilers will be briefly touched upon for a few characters. the explanations are specifically for how the arcana are represented in persona, but please keep in mind i’m a persona scrub kdhfkdhfdfkfd so if it ends up being only specific to character arcs from p3, my bad. i’m also sticking to the standard cards and avoiding special ones like aeon. welcome to super self-indulgent hell

i did the order by recruitment order, but here’s a link to just the order of all the characters ( sans explanations ) by the actual tarot in case you just want to see that and be done with it

Seliph: The Fool

Obligatory protagonist role getting this arcana, but the Fool is generally based around one being influenced by others. Considering how Seliph is placed in a role as a liberator as thrust upon him by the people’s expectations due to his lineage, I thought it was fitting.

Lana: Priestess

Who I imagine would be the party’s initial navigator. Regardless, getting away from the strictly Persona gameplay aspects, the Priestess is an arcana given to quieter characters who have untapped potential. I generally just think Lana has the vibe for this as opposed to an actual reason.

Larcei: Temperance

This is one of the leftover ones admittedly. Temperance deals with an inability to balance one’s various life aspects. Larcei tends to be portrayed in adaptations as struggling between her combat as well as her love life, and she’s typically unlucky in the latter.

Ulster: Star

I love you Ulster, but he ended up also being one of the leftover ones as well. The Star is associated with hope and joy. There’s actually a pretty cool quote about this one in terms of bestowing help to others in their time of need but eventually being doomed to fall. Ulster is depicted as being protective of the others ( namely in Seliph’s childhood friend squad ) and is compassionate as well as a big brother type, thus I thought he matched up enough with the idea of bestowing help unto others.

Diarmuid: Strength

The Strength arcana in the Persona universe typically explores characters who have a strength of heart in order to keep going past hardships. Though almost everyone in gen 2 experiences tragedy and tries to overcome it, Diarmuid’s separation from his mother and then his consequent journey through Yied to reunite with his family stuck out to me. Additionally, he always seemed to have a good head on his shoulders even when given bad news in fe5 should you let Nanna fall in battle before he joins Leif’s party.

Lester: Sun

The Sun arcana directly deals with happiness, typically revolving around characters who are faced with miserable situations yet still try and be optimistic; alternatively, the character has lost their initial happiness. A really cool arcana in terms of character arcs, and Lester got it not because I thought it fit him, but because he was literally my last option and I thought the Sun arcana would fit him more than some other remaining ones, and a lot of the characters at this point I was dead set on keeping them locked in to the ones I chose for them. I initially gave this arcana to Lene.

I’d love to meet someone whose fav is Lester sdkhkddf I feel so bad that I don’t have a lot in terms of analysis on him.

Julia: Fortune

The one I knew I’d want the most for this arcana right away: the Fortune arcana revolves entirely around fate. The characters usually have to make a large decision and strive to seize their own destiny. Julia and Julius both have their births completely orchestrated for the sole purpose of furthering the Lopt Sect’s goals, their fates determined by their bloodlines. Julia rises up from what originally seemed like a helpless situation to being the one to restore peace to Jugdral herself. I literally can’t imagine anybody else, sans Julius, who could fit this arcana better out of the second gen cast.

Fee: Chariot

The Chariot arcana places an emphasis on striving towards a goal, holding a determined and willful spirit. Fee is another character I knew I instantly wanted for a specific arcana, as she’s fixated on finding her missing father-- especially when you take FE5 canon into mind and make her father Lewyn. She embodies both the arc ( willing to accomplish her goal no matter what ) but also the personality associated with the arcana.

Arthur: Magician

For starters, giving this arcana to an actual mage is so satisfying. In any case, the arcana is associated with somebody who takes more of a secondary role to the protagonist but still has their own ego. Additionally, great tragedy befalls and motivates the character-- though typically it’s romance-related in terms of arcs, but I ended up omitting that for this. Arthur is a character who exudes confidence, something that Fee suspects might not be well-deserved when they bicker, and his call to action revolves around his desire to reunite with his family. He’s aware terrible things befell his mother and sister and is terribly protective of his sister as a result. Tine honestly might get the shortest end of the stick out of the second gen cast in terms of horrible fates.

The LI manga adaptation also depicts Arthur as a shameless flirt that is a bit of a pervert, which also helps just strengthen the tie between him and the typical archetype for the Magician arcana character in the Persona series.

Iuchar: Moon

Even though you can’t recruit both of the Neir brothers in one run, I’m giving them different arcanas since I personally think that their character arcs in-game are different enough to warrant it and it gets me up to my perfect twenty-one number.

The Moon arcana revolves around illusions and typically involves a character seeing reality not as how it is, some going so far as to blame themself for something that isn’t true. My analysis on Iuchar touches upon the idea that he’s putting up his carefree personality as an act to be able to more easily show kindness upon Isaachians without arousing suspicion from his family; additionally, it talks about the idea that Iuchar blames himself for everything his family has done under the Empire and asks for forgiveness sincerely, not understanding how Seliph sees that Iuchar is blameless and that even if he wasn’t, the people love him already. Iuchar simply can’t see that reality. Though him being the actual canonically flirty character is a good argument to assign him the Magician arcana, I ultimately personally see the Moon arcana as more fitting for him.

Iucharba: Death

The Death arcana is about life cycles and predominantly characters undergoing a great change. Iucharba is a character I personally note for not really being taken seriously by his family as noted in this meta and he undergoes a great transformation throughout the events of Genealogy should you recruit him as a result. He begins as a young man allied with the Empire, a man sorely underestimated plenty, and he ends up developing into this character that suddenly is the heir to the Neir bloodline and consequently is now actually in a position of power within Grannvale-- a position he was nowhere near getting before defecting. Also not really necessary for this arcana, but the fact that you can only recruit him at the cost of killing his brother helps put a literal death association.

Patty: Devil

I actually originally had Patty assigned to the Lovers arcana, but I think this is fitting enough too. The Devil arcana typically deals with characters who commit immoral actions and have difficulty telling that what they’re doing is wrong. They’re led by impulse and temptation but they are also typically dedicated to a cause. Patty is a thief who steals to procure funds for the orphans her and her brother look after. Her compassion is her commitment and though she’s aware what she’s doing is shady, she still believes herself to be partly in the right because those she steals from are terrible people as well. She’s a more mature Dew in a sense. She’s not a perfect fit for the Devil arcana, but she fits it the most out of all the second gen.

Leif: Justice

Leif honestly probably could’ve fit a few, but I decided the Justice arcana is most suitable; the characters associated with this arcana typically are concerned with fairness and can be pretty stoic. Leif’s obsessed with enacting vengeance-- a theme that is just a breath away from justice. He’s the character I think of most in Jugdral that cares the most about karma and seeing people get what they deserve. Additionally, he fits the personality trend in how he attempts ( keyword: attempt ) to suppress his feelings.

Nanna: Empress

The Empress arcana is given to elegant women in high positions of authority. They’re typically a little on the cold side but hold compassion ( perhaps in a sort of motherly fashion ) for others underneath all of that. The second gen are almost all royalty or nobility of some degree, but Nanna especially came off as a princess to me the most out of all the characters. Additionally, God her JP voice actress really nails that refined aura. Nanna’s personality in my opinion also matches the trend in how she can be a little curt ( namely to Finn should he be her father as well as to Homer in his recruitment conversation ) but she ultimately is heralded for being kind and supportive by Leif.

Also gameplay-wise, the Empress personas typically end up having healing skills, and Nanna’s class as troubadour plays into this too.

Ares: Hierophant

Another character I was certain of what arcana I wished to assign them from the start, though I feel like a lot of people would think of different cards than I did. The Hierophant characters typically are fixated on the past and need to learn how to move on from that. Ares’s arc literally revolves around how he’s obsessed with killing Seliph to enact revenge for ( what he believes to be ) Sigurd killing Eldigan. Even Lene attempts to get Ares to stop being tied down to the past and to accept the present and the future.

Lene: Lovers

I went into this really wanting Lene to be assigned to the Sun as mentioned previously but ended up changing her to the Lovers which works out too. The Lovers character is usually someone who is popular and they’re tied between two conflicting aspects of themself. Lene is friendly and charismatic both due to her personality as well as her line of work, and her character explores her maturity as Ares’s confidant in opposition to how she’s fixated on finding her mother no matter what-- something that can be interpreted as a childish fantasy that’s hopeless considering how little of information she has to go on. Additionally, the Lovers personas gameplay-wise are usually healers and associated with wind magic, and though that doesn’t quite fit Lene, it coincides with it enough what with her being a support unit primarily and also both her cipher and her heroes art associating breezes with her.

Tine: Judgement

Judgement arcs explore characters realizing their true calling and gaining absolution and acceptance. Tine is initially allied under the Empire due to her connection to the Friege family, and she lived a very stifling existence until she defects. She’s uncertain exactly what she’s doing as well as who’s “right” at the time that she takes to the battlefield but she comes to realize that Seliph’s liberation army has good intentions. The truth that seemed so muddied before becomes so much clearer by the end. She also is another character who asks for forgiveness from Seliph and ends up being wholly surprised by how easily he gives her it. I feel like this implies that desire for absolution her entire life and it’s over the course of the war that she’s able to feel comfortable in her own skin and voice out her own wishes.

Febail: Tower

Ah, yes, the Edge Lord card. Regardless, the Tower arcana deals with bad omens and doom and destruction. The characters associated with this card are typically characters who have fallen from grace. Febail is unknowingly the prince of Jungby, one of the few playable second gen units guaranteed major holy blood, but he lives his life struggling in an orphanage and as a mercenary who will take any job so long as it gives him the money to provide for the other orphans. He loses sight of his own morality, needing to be reprimanded by his sister that his attempt to slay Seliph isn’t actually going to end in his goal of prosperity for the kids. Though all the kids have taken a tumble in life, I genuinely think Febail captures this concept the best.

Ced: Emperor

If there’s literally any character I think could actually translate super well into a Persona verse more seriously beyond just me assigning arcanas, I honestly think it’d be Ced. Anyhow, the Emperor arcana holds characters who desire to control their environment even if fate gives them trouble in attempting to do so, and the characters typically are suffering from a personal issue that they do not know how to tackle. Ced is a mage who goes out of his way to find his father and along the way, brought on by his own conviction, establishes the Magi Squad to try and help the people suffering in Manster from oppression underneath the Empire. That active role reflects the arcana very well in my eyes, and Ced’s personal conflict with Lewyn as a neglectful father as per FE5′s canon seals the deal.

Coirpre: Hermit

Hermit wasn’t my first pick for Coirpre as an individual character, but I gave him it pretty quickly after I thought about the entire second gen cast collectively as opposed to just standalone cases. I think Coirpre would most likely end up as the second, more powerful navigator character to recruit especially with his ties to the Bragi bloodline and the canonical Bragi connection to prophetic truth.

Coirpre doesn’t have the strongest connection to his arcana, but the Hermit arcana characters typically put themselves in situations where they are hiding away from the spotlight and others. As such, these characters are usually more in background or supportive roles in life. Coirpre is a healer in an extremely militant country, a larger anomaly considering the fact that his father is the Shield of Thracia-- a famed general. Coirpre, upon being locked away as a hostage, adamantly requests to be let go because he doesn’t wish for his father to be forced to fight; he seeks a more discreet way to solve the issue befitting of the arcana and ultimately sought out a calmer solution. Judging by his minor involvement in FE5, he also is more neutral typically in terms of alignment, not caring much for whether or not Leif was a runaway prince but also not offering to join him unlike the other FE4 characters who show up in the midquel. Coirpre keeps himself on the down low until he’s freed by the liberation army and realizes his father and he need to take a stance against the Empire more actively.

Altena: Hanged Man

The Hanged Man arcana explores characters who undergo arcs where they are caught between two extremes or two parties in their life. Altena encompasses this idea best in how she is troubled by her loyalty to southern Thracia due to being raised as its princess and her true lineage as Leonster’s princess. She is at odds due to this conflict, what with both parties being at opposite ends of the battlefield from one another and she’s forced to make a choice between her adopted brother and her blood brother.

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