#amy stop procrastinating challenge
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one of these days i’ll make a moving edit i just need to find out when my brain is going to let me do it
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Pranksters of the Bunch (Harry Potter AU)
Y/n is just starting to get comfortable with her new friends, when she learns about their more... playful side. We learn about more relationships and see hints of our endgame. We also get a glimpse of some other players that make up the rest of our version of Hogwarts. @literaryhedgehog
Pt. 1
“For next class, homework is to practice your transfiguration. Anyone who can get their matchstick into a needle is exempt from writing their essay. You are dismissed,” Professor McGonagall said, tapping her wand on the blackboard so the notes from the day’s lesson disappeared. As the other students began filing out of the room you picked up your bag and dropped your notes into it, careful to set your “quill” gently so the bic ballpoint pen you taped to it wouldn’t fall off.
“If you epoximose it, you won’t have to worry about it falling off” Lindsey said with an eye roll, slinging her bag over her shoulder. Some of your habits were a bit… odd. Like your preference for a pen that you didn’t have to dip in ink.
“I’m sorry, if I what?” you asked. “That sounds like a sneeze.”
“It’s a spell that’ll glue it so you don’t need to use spell-o-tape,” Kelley said, appearing on your other side as Professor McGonagall left the room.
“I can teach you, if you like. It’s super simple, even a first year could do it,” Emily offered, ignoring Lindsey’s sideways glare.
“Then why don’t they teach it to us as first years?” You said, slamming your chair under the desk. Not that you disliked any of your classes, but the curriculum seemed to leave out a lot of useful information.
“Because they’re afraid that it’ll just help students do better pranks,” Lindsey huffed, crossing her arms. If anyone was going to teach you things, it should be her.
“No they’re not,” Ashlyn said, rolling her eyes. “They teach tricky techniques that are applicable to multiple spells. It’s like quidditch drills.”
“Cause it’s so much less challenging than fighting a boggart, or accioing anything. If you mess it up, then you could glue your fingers together,” Emily snorted, shaking her head. She was just lucky that Madam Pomfrey liked her enough to not rat her out to Professor Slughorn (not that he’d actually do anything) or Professor Longbottom.
“Or accidentally drop a banner on the Huffelpuffs?” Ashlyn said with a raised eyebrow. Emily and Kelley seemed to shrink just a bit under her gaze.
“That was you?” You asked, eyes wide. That banner had almost knocked Cheney off her broom and Amy was pissed. Rumor had it that the Slytherin captain had taken care of the incident because it was someone in her house that did it, but no one knew for sure (at least you thought no one knew).
“You can’t prove anything,” Emily grumbled.
“It was them,” Lindsey nodded, smirking at you. “and Arod made sure they not only apologized, but that they actually meant it. Kelley only got away unscathed because she hid in Gryffindor tower,”
Those two always got themselves in over their heads and something always went wrong. You could only wonder what the Slytherin chaser did to them. Amy was terrifying when she wanted to be especially when you messed with her girlfriend.
“Of course I meant it, the banner wasn’t supposed to fall,” Emily grumbled. “The charm was supposed to last the whole game. Anyway, she made me practice the sticking charm and its reverse a hundred times so it wouldn’t happen again. Not that it matters next year when I’m actually on the team. It’s stupid that they still don’t want second years to play beater.”
“At least this time there won’t be any accidents,” Ashlyn said, smirking as she settled into a chair previously vacated by some of your second year peers. Which was when you realized it was kind of odd that she was here. Wasn’t she a third year student?
“What do you mean?” You asked, your head tilting to the side like a puppy.
“Wait THIS time?” Lindsey, asked, looking between the three girls settling down at the desks like it wasn’t the end of the day’s classes. “Don’t tell me you’re planning another prank right now?”
“Of course not!” Kelley said, looking aghast.
“You haven’t left the room yet,” Emily said, adopting a similarly innocent, wide eyed expression.
“They’re going to be dumbasses and probably get detention for a month aren’t they?” You asked, looking at Lindsey for help. Though you had know been hanging out with them for the past few weeks, they were still her friends after all.
“Oh. I don’t want detention though,” Ashlyn said flipping through a spellbook absentmindedly. “And it will be rather hard to prove we have anything to do with an event which might or might not happen in the next few days.”
“Just a word of advice, though. If you’re going to take a shower today, do it in the next two hours and don’t take one tomorrow morning,” Emily said finally, eyes softening just a little at your too nervous expression.
“You don’t think they’re going to test your wands to see if it was you?” Lindsey asked skeptically.
“Priori incantatem only goes so far, especially if I tutor Y/n on how to glue her pens together,” Emily rolled her eyes, and shrugged. She would argue she was just being a good friend after all.
“With the kind of prep work we’ve done, they’d have to go back, oh, at least three days before they saw any hint that we’ve done a spell related to the event, which again, might or might not start in,” Kelley checked her watch, the face of which glowed a soft yellow, “two hours and five minutes, give or take 20 seconds.”
You wondered if she came from a muggle family too, but you had been too afraid to ask. You had never met a wizard or witch that preferred wristwatches to pocket watches before.
“In that case, we’ll head back to the Gryffindor dorms,” Lindsey said, hastily sweeping her transfiguration notes into the mouth of her bag. “See you at dinner Kelley, Ashlyn.”
“Want to meet in the library to learn the sticking charm Y/n?” Emily asked. Lindsey stopped in the doorway, waiting for you. “Like I said, I practiced the charm literally a hundred times, so I’m really good at it now!”
“Um, I think I’m just going to focus on turning my matchstick into a needle tonight, but maybe some other time?” You mumbled, glancing up at Lindsey. (Were you imagining the slight uptick of her lips?)
“Okay, See you then!” And with that Emily turned back to her compatriots, who all put their heads together and started talking in hushed voices, over a sheet of paper which looked eerily similar to a playbook.
“What do you think they’re planning?” you whispered to Lindsey as the two of you raced towards the stone staircases up to the Gryffindor tower. There was this one staircase that was the fastest way up when it was connected to the right floor, but it only stayed there for a few minutes every half hour. If you missed the window to catch it there would be two extra flights to climb.
“You really don’t want to know. Something always goes wrong when they make plans anyway. It’s why they always get caught,” Lindsey said back equally as quiet, shaking her head. She would skin them alive if you got caught in the crossfire. You were on her off limits list (you always had been) and they had always promised to respect that.
*****
The two of you just made it to the beginning of dinner, after taking turns in the dorm’s bathroom to shower and dry your hair (at least until it wasn’t noticeably dripping). You didn’t know when your next opportunity to take a shower unscathed would be, and you were happy you had made it within Kelley’s two hour window.
However, despite your expectations of screams, or the sound of frogs appearing from the drains, it was a quiet night. As was the morning afterwards. It wasn’t until lunch the next day, that you learned what the prank had been. Exactly as the clock struck noon, all around the great hall people started laughing as the hair of ¾ the school population turned bright colors.
Professor McGonagall frowned at her bright purple hair in the reflection of her teapot. Alex threw a roll at Kelley (with neon yellow hair) who was pointing and laughing at her forest green hair. Tobin and Lauren had fallen off the bench laughing over at the hufflepuff table, pointing towards their respective girlfriends matching pink hair at the ravenclaw and Slytherin tables (Tobin’s hair didn’t seem to have changed color, though Lauren’s was a pale aquamarine sort of blue).
At the Slytherin table Michelle was admiring her jet black hair, though with a wave of her wand it seemed to be speckled with glimmering white and red stars, then she turned to resume her conversation with Joy and some of the other seventh years, who you noticed didn’t seem to have colorful hair.
Looking around the hall, you noticed that a lot of the older students seemed to be lacking the colorful hair sprouted by most of the student body. A few Ravenclaw sixth years had only looked up briefly from studying their notes to see what the commotion was about, before returning to “The Official N.E.W.T.S. Study Guide- test prep for the procrastinator”. Hope, Brandi, Mia, Briana, Christie, Tiffany, Lorrie, Carla. You looked at the sixth and seventh years you knew from watching quidditch games. Regardless of house, almost none of them appeared to be affected by the prank..
“You could have told me, you know?” Alex glared, throwing another roll at her cackling girlfriend.
“But what fun would that be?” Kelley snorted, dodging the roll and quickly snatching up the basket to remove any further ammunition out of Alex’s reach.
“Ashlyn told Ali and Emily told Kristie!” Alex whined, her nose scrunching up just the way Kelley always loved. Alex’s angry face was too cute for her to be like or off limits.
“I value my life too much to mess with her hair care routine,” Ashlyn said, lifting her hands in surrender at Kelley’s death stare. Ali was on her off limits list after all, and that was a line she wasn’t willing to cross.
“And you’ll notice all three of us were also affected by this terrible prank some stranger pulled!” Kelley said, unable to keep a straight face to match her seemingly offended tone.
“Though I think I might use my free period after lunch to practice some quidditch drills,” Ashlyn said, twirling a strand of her bright maroon hair around a finger. “I have a feeling that the color will fade after I dump the icy cooler water over my head.”
“Need someone to send some quaffles your way?” Lindsey asked around a large bite of turkey. She was always down to practice, especially if it meant avoiding the food fight that seemed to be brewing at their table.
“Wait, ice water?” You asked Kelley as Ashlyn and Lindsey began discussing practice plans. Kelley jumped on the opportunity to escape Alex’s ire.
“Oh yeah, we- um, whoever pulled this terrible prank- tied the spell to the hot water pipes. It should be safe to take a hot shower by tonight, but basically anyone who used hot water last night or this morning was affected. Cold water removes it though, which is why we quidditch players will discover the counter first, as we are known for taking ice baths after practice.”
“So I have to freeze my ass off to fix this shit!!” Alex screeched, plucking at the strands of green hair falling into her eyes.
“Come on,” Lindsey said, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards where Brandi was sitting at the front of the Gryffindor table. “Let’s go get the locker room key from Brandi so we can go practice before potions.”
“Yeah, let’s do that” You mumbled, eyes widening at how Alex was now towering over Kelley. You didn’t know the beater could shrink so far into her chair.
Brandi, it turned out, was talking with professor McGonagall about the house cup this year. Though no longer head of Gryffindor house, McGonagall was still invested in the team’s progress.
“Oh, speak of the boggart, here are our two latest recruits,” Brandi said, gesturing at you and Lindsey as you walked toward her. “Professor, Lindsey is our newest chaser and Y/n is one of the best first time seekers Mia has ever seen.”
“Speaking of which,” Lindsey said jumping in, “We were hoping to practice some drills after lunch. Could we borrow the locker room keys?”
You stood just behind her, still a little intimidated by both women.
“It is good to see some responsibility coming from some of our second year Gryffindors,” Professor McGonagall said, smiling at you- when you peeked out from behind the taller chaser- and Lindsey in turn. “I do think some of your classmates, and perhaps even some of our third year students could learn a thing or two from you.”
You weren’t sure how to respond, so you smiled meekly and quickly made your way out of the great hall with Lindsey and the acquired keys. “What do you think she meant by that? Do you think she knows who did it?”
“Oh absolutely,” Lindsey said, shaking her head. “It doesn’t take a Seer to predict that they’re going to have detention tomorrow night. Now come on, I want to try that new feint you read about.”
#uswnt x reader#uswnt imagines#uswnt imagine#literalhedgehog#lindsey horan imagine#harry potter au#hogwarts au#quidditch au
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How to Cope When a Libra Man Ignores You
New Post has been published on https://www.astrology-india.com/when-a-libra-man-ignores-you/
How to Cope When a Libra Man Ignores You
You are probably wondering why the Libra man who swooped in to charm your socks off is now nowhere to be found?
It may surprise you that it is not an uncommon theme for the Libra, nor is it necessarily the death of your relationship with him either, especially if you know what to do when a Libra man ignores you.
When a Libra Man Ignores You?
What happened to your Libra man? The one who seemed easygoing and so much fun? Why is he suddenly serious and distant now?
It does not make a whole lot of sense, but when you understand the Libra man, it is a little less confusing.
He is Flimsy
The Libra man comes across as dominant, yet at the same time soft and sweet. He is masculine while being strangely in touch with his feminine side.
By all accounts, you would expect him to be someone who you can rely on, a strong-willed guy who will stand his ground and stick to his guns.
And he can be that man, however, one negative aspect of Libra is that he can also be unreliable and indecisive.
The guy might have no idea what it is that he wants in the first place, making it impossible for him to stick to anything. If he is that type of Libra, then you can bet that he flip-flops in most of his relationships.
This is not all bad news. Most Libra men who pull the disappearing act really just need some time to work things out.
What it Means When a Libra Man Stops Trying
It means something is missing from the relationship, and that something could be the main thing he needs in order to have a purpose in life as a man.
It is a deep emotional obsession that most men have but rarely talks openly about. Unless they have a Ph.D. in male psychology and masculinity needs.
This emotion in a Libra man is overlooked by most women because they don’t understand it until it is sometimes too late. Once you know about it, it’s really simple to use it to your advantage.
If you want your guy to show you love and the attention you deserve, you need to hook into the underlying reason which is explained in a video by relationship expert James Bauer entitled His Secret Obsession.
You Hurt His Feelings
Libra is not a sensitive, over-emotional sign by any means. The man is rational and shoots straight from the hip. This is strange because when he gets hurt it could seem just the opposite.
The Libra man does not forget, nor does he forgive that easily. In this sense, he is the Scorpio of air signs, only less vengeful. Mostly, you will never even know that he is upset or what it was exactly that you have done.
The Libra man is usually highly diplomatic and prefers not to rock the boat. So, if you did something to upset him, he will deal with it passively, like ignoring you for example.
Your Libra Man is Busy
Libra deals with balance in all aspects, and his life’s theme is to learn the art of it. It only makes sense then that Libra is a sign of self-improvement.
Believe it or not, this can take up a lot of his time and also lead him to distance himself from others on occasion to focus.
Sometimes his need to recalibrate and improve is his own fault. His indecisiveness, procrastination, and tendency to indulge often knock things out of whack for him, then it becomes his mission to fix it.
His other extreme is to socialize and have fun 100 percent of the time. Either way, the Libra man knows how to keep himself busy.
It Is a Surface Level Attraction
Libras are connoisseurs of everything beautiful. They are highly aesthetic beings who love the world of art and comfort and pleasant surroundings.
But this overindulgence in what is visually pleasing gets him into trouble as far as his relationships are concerned.
He is attracted to people with physical beauty and sometimes he fails to see beneath the skin.
If this is the reason for your Libra man’s sudden disappearance, it does not mean necessarily that he does not like you or your personality. Perhaps he never gave himself the chance to know you in the first place.
He is not Interested
One of the great tragedies of our existence is that love is not always reciprocated. Just when we swear we have met the one, reality slaps us in the face as we watch him heading for the front door.
Libra men have their types, sometimes that type is himself. But like any sign, there are people with astrological differences who we cannot seem to relate to no matter how hard we try.
Sometimes our zodiac opposites can seem like they are from Mars and speak a different language.
If you want to give it all you’ve got to make it work with a Libra man, you have to understand this “greater” emotion that he needs satisfying.
It’s an obsession he can’t explain but provides the key to his heart when a woman understands how to unlock His Secret Obsession here.
How to Get a Libra Man to Stop Ignoring You
Sometimes your Libra guy just needs a wake-up call to get him to stop ignoring you. Ring his alarm by trying some of the tips out below.
Talk to Your Libra
Talk to your Libra man because the Libra male appreciates honesty.
Even though you are upset with him for bailing on you, and probably will not believe this, but he is fair, just, and strives to do what is right.
He can however be a little self-absorbed without even realizing it and maybe is unaware of his actions or their consequences.
It is important not to accuse him or engage him in a war of words. This will upset the diplomatic Libra who will only take so much of conflict before he shies away.
Send Him Flirty Text Messages
The Libra man approaches flirting like a sport, one in which he is a skilled master. It is truly an art form for him and he sees it as a dance- a push and pull, or a back and forth.
This dance heats things up by building attraction and passion, even more so if you can give him a run for his money.
Shoot your guy a flirty text, but make sure you bring your A-game. Be smart, witty, challenging, and most of all, fun.
If you would like a little help with the phrases you can text that trigger his mental G Spot and activate his subconscious desires for you, I can recommend Text Chemistry by relationship guru Amy North.
Help Him to See the Good You Bring to His Life
This can be done in a bunch of subtle ways, or you can go all out and be blatant and straightforward, whichever suits you best.
What is important is that you can get the point across without looking like it is what you are trying to do.
If he can see you are someone who adds value to his life – more specifically, that you help bring balance and harmony to it – he might just recognize you as a good choice for him, almost like you make him feel complete.
Brush Up on His Interests
The Libra man loves to talk and connect with others. What better way to do so with someone than to have common ground? For instance, something that he is passionate about?
Get your Libra man going again by showing him you can hold your own in a conversation about his interests, and a bonus if you are a good listener because we all know that he needs one.
Be Patient
Whether your Libra guy has left to go work on himself, hang out with other people, or he is trying to make up his mind about the relationship, the best thing you can do is to be patient with him.
I know, this one can seem difficult, and it might not be what you wanted to hear. But Libra is represented by the scales of justice and the scales must tip. When he regains his balance and direction, they might just tip in your favor.
Final Thoughts
How the Libra man can go from the life of the party, the charming guy who stole your heart, to be like a ghost is straight-up baffling to those unequipped with the knowledge of his inner workings.
By understanding, this “greater” thing he desires in a relationship you will secure his love and devotion. Become the only woman he ever wants. This video explains exactly how to do it.
Once you understand why your honey is M.I.A., it is a lot easier to know what to do when a Libra man ignores you so you can get him to stop once and for all.
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2021 Reading Challenge - 100 Books
1. Finding Freedom: Harry and Meghan and the Making of a Modern Royal Family (Omid Scobie/Carolyn Durand)
2. Top of the Rock: Inside the Rise and Fall of Must See TV (Warren Littlefield)
3. Smart Money, Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money (Dave Ramsey/Rachel Cruze)
4. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k (Mark Manson)
5. Greenlights (Matthew McConaughey)
6. An Edited Life: Simple Steps to Streamlining Life, at Work and at Home (Anna Newtown)
7. Creative Journaling - A Guide to Over 100 Techniques and Ideas for Amazing Dot Grid, Junk, Mixed-Media and Travel Pages (Renee Day)
8. You Are A Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth (Jen Sincero)
9. Let Go of the Guilt (Valorie Burton)
10. ADHD 2.0: New Science and Essential Strategies for Thriving with Distraction - from Childhood through Adulthood (Edward M. Hallowell MD/John J. Ratey MD)
11. Fight Club (Chuck Palahniuk)
12. The Power of 10: Kickstart Your Dreams
13. Followers (Megan Angelo)
14. The School of Intentional Living: A Real-World Approach to Living Life on Your Terms (Sean Rosensteel)
15. The Wicked Game: Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, and the Story of Modern Golf (Howard Sounes)
16. Can I Say: Living Large, Cheating Death, and Drums Drums Drums (Travis Barker/Gavin Edwards)
17. The Little Book of Hygge: Danish Secrets to a Happy Living (Meik Wiking)
18. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (Lindsay C. Gibson)
The Mammoth Book of Air Disasters and Near Misses (Paul Simpson)
20. The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done (Piers Steel PhD)
21. You'll Never Nanny in this Town Again: The True Adventures of a Hollywood Nanny (Suzanne Hansen)
22. The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing (Marie Kondo)
23. Nickeled and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By In America (Barbara Ehrenreich)
24. The Marriage Game (Sara Desai)
25. The Art of Discarding (Nagisa Tatsumi)
26. In the Blink of an Eye: Dale, Daytona, and the Day that Changed Everything (Michael Waltrip/Ellis Henican)
27. Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up (Marie Kondo)
28. Outer Order Inner Calm: Declutter and Organize to Make More Room for Happiness (Gretchen Rubin)
29. 747: Creating the World's First Jumbo Jet and Other Adventures from a Life in Aviation (Joe Sutter/Paul Boehmer)
30. The Inheritance Games (Jennifer Lynn Barnes)
31. Open Book (Jessica Simpson)
32. Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin (Kathy Griffin)
33. Bracing for Impact: True Tales of Air Disasters and the People Who Survived Them (Robin Suerig Holleran/Lindy Philip)
34. Safer Skies: An Accident Investigator on Why Planes Crash and the State of Aviation Safety (David Soucie/Ozzie Cheek)
35. Unfinished (Priyanka Chopra Jonas)
36. Steady: A Guide to Better Mental Health Through and Beyond the Coronavirus Pandemic (Dr. Sarb Johal)
37. Flex: Reinventing Work for a Smarter, Happier Life (Annie Auerbach)
38. So Many Babies: My Life Balancing a Busy Medical Career and Motherhood (Susan Landers MD)
39. Reach: A New Strategy to Help You Step Outside Your Comfort Zone, Rise to the Challenge and Build Confidence (Andy Molinsky)
40. Millennial to Millionaire (Rachel Greer)
41. The Next Crash: How Short Term Profit Seeking Trumps Airline Safety (Amy L. Fraher)
42. People We Meet of Vacation (Emily Henry)
43. Redefining Anxiety (Dr. John Delony)
44. Get Out of Your Own Way: A Skeptic's Guide to Growth and Fulfillment (Dave Hollis)
45. FulFillment: Diary of a Warehouse Picker (Paul Juhasz)
46. Let's Talk (Alex Rios)
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What are you thoughts on the Dan and Amy argument scene in 5x03 because honestly I don’t remember a very big one
Oh, Anon. Strap in. I think you have not realized what you have unleashed.
There is one very simple reason why this fight means so much in the history of Dan and Amy. In this scene, Dan loses the most important thing to him, and he realizes it.
It’s not a *big* fight in the sense that it lasts very long, or that there’s a lot of yelling. But I would absolutely argue that it’s a very momentous fight for Dan and Amy. It’s my inspiration for all Dan/Amy fights, because it is the only fight they have that’s about their relationship.
This fight basically severs their emotional relationship until the middle of S6, and also really boils down their connection to its fundamental parts, encapsulating all the reasons why Dan and Amy together are so dysfunctional and yet also so deeply tied to one another. A large part of this is due to the strength of the acting. Both Anna Chlumsky and Reid Scott bring the whole history of Dan and Amy to the forefront of their performances. And I just think this scene is played so well, particularly by Reid Scott, who brings out this very subtle but dangerous edge to the argument. Ultimately, this is one of the very few scenes where we see Dan care about something that’s not his professional ambition or his ability to fuck whoever he wants at will, and we see that in RS’s performance. However Mandel was directing (…or not directing) this scene, Dan and Amy’s emotional connection is not played for laughs here, as it is so often for the remaining seasons. It’s one of the few Mandel-era scenes that treats Dan and Amy’s relationship very seriously.
In this vein, the fight also possesses a particular meta-importance as well, because it’s one of the last *real* scenes that Dan and Amy share before Mandel’s vision for the show fully set in. Dan is pre-Mandelian Dan, an ambitious asshole who’s got a crush on Amy and literally cannot handle it in any way approximating healthy. By the end of S5, Mandelian Dan has begun to emerge—this merry, stupid, politics-bro incapable of any genuine emotion and who just sees Amy as his “buddy.” It’s definitely one of the last real scenes Reid Scott has where he’s getting to do something meaty. There are some decent moments in S6, where you see his frustration with his new career come through, but he’s separated from most of the main cast, so they don’t have the same overall impact within the show.
In other words, this scene actually feels like it matters for Dan and Amy. It doesn’t feel like some upside-down absurd nightmare where everyone is casually acting out in monstrous ways because nothing matters. Dan did something shitty, and he faces the very real consquences of his actions in this fight with Amy.
The challenge of this scene is that basically by the end of S5, Veep is a different show, so I think looking back from that perspective, and considering especially the trajectory of Dan’s character, I can see why the weight of it might dissolve. Dan and Amy still work together frequently after 5.03, but we don’t really see the emotional dimension of their relationship the way we used to, except for Dan driving out to Maryland to bother Amy at her parents’ house, and Amy’s dad going off on him in the Brookheimer kitchen (and still, the show completely dodges the significance of that whole interlude.) This kind of works in the sense that Amy has obviously tried to cut off any emotional connection the two of them have, even if she’s still forced to rely on him for work, but the show never explores that notion. Significantly, as we get further and further in S5, the action within each episode starts to matter less and less, not to mention time and space start to bend in weird ways.
Still, if you pretend S7 does not exist, you can trace changes in Dan’s behavior to this fight where he loses Amy, the primary example of course being that he starts sleeping around more aggressively.
Because I’m truly obsessed with this fight and also want to procrastinate, I’m going to close read it now so everyone will understand my deep obsession with it. (But I’m going to preserve everyone’s timelines from my obsessive insanity.) Ahem.
Context: So, Dan has slept with Sophie because he thought she could get him a job at CBS News. (Which is a patently ridiculous idea. Dan would know if Amy had a sister who worked at CBS News, not to mention the fact that he has met Sophie before and obviously knows enough about Amy’s family to refer to Sophie’s children as “illegitimate.” But to be clear, I do absolutely believe that S5 Dan would sleep with Amy’s sister, if Amy’s sister worked in television. I just don’t believe that Dan would buy that Sophie works at CBS News.)
Dan does this right after Amy communicates to him that…she’d like to have sex with him.
It’s a huge admission for Amy, considering her past with Dan, and makes Dan’s betrayal a million times worse. In Amy’s head, she can’t believe she was so fucking stupid a second time. Instead of confirmation that Dan is attracted to her, she gets confirmation that no matter how much Dan likes her as a person, he’s still going to fuck her over with her sister in the pursuit of his career. It’s like a repeat of what he did to her when they ‘dated’, except a million times worse, because their relationship is much deeper than it was at the beginning of S1 and also because it’s her sister. HER HORRIBLE SISTER.
Amy’s implied invitation to Dan carries with it all the weight of their arc over the course of the previous four seasons. They have grown much closer together than they were at the beginning of S1. Dan has proven himself to be there for Amy in very meaningful ways. They know each other much more intimately now, and they rely on each other a lot more. And Dan is a genuine person around Amy in a way he is around no one else. Even if Amy has not grasped that Dan is attracted to her, I do believe she understands on some level that she brings out Dan’s most human qualities.
Also, Dan TOTALLY understood what Amy was saying to him. His smug expression said it all. He decides to sleep with Sophie after he’s already decided to go for it with Amy. Bleah. As much this essay is delving into Dan’s psyche and trying to understand and explain why he acts so horribly, it’s absolutely not a justification for him being shitty and mean to Amy. He deserves to be tortured forever.
So, fast forward twenty-four hours. Dan approaches Amy at the end of the day, looking all cute with his stupid laptop bag. At first, the conversation begins like a normal one:
Jesus, you're still here?
I don't know why. My only jobs seem to be asking Bob and finding out what Bob thinks.
Ugh. They’re still work spouses in this moment.
Yeah, it's been pretty fun to watch. (pause) So you want to grab a drink or something?
First, we must notice how quiet Reid Scott is playing Dan so far. There’s almost none of Dan’s usual swagger. He sounds like he’s had a shitty day and he wants to go blow off steam with his best friend. Second, he is just a bit purposeful about asking her for drinks. He does this cute little shoulder-shrug thing! Like, we know Dan and Amy have had a thousand after-work drinks by now. They were lobbying together for months. Dan’s making it a thing for a reason (because he slept with Sophie and he knows that’s a shitty thing to do.)
Third, what the hell is Dan doing by basically asking Amy out after he’s slept with her sister?
Two things: he wants to pretend like nothing has happened, that the status-quo between them has not changed. It’s also his way of communicating to Amy that sleeping with Sophie doesn’t change anything about their relationship, in his mind. In other words—sleeping with Sophie hasn’t changed the fact that Dan still wants to get drinks with Amy and tease Amy and talk to her all the time. In Dan’s head, Sophie was basically a business decision that failed, so nothing needs to change. They can still be Dan and Amy. Maybe they can even have sex.
Because Amy is not an emotionally stunted robot, this logic obviously does not work with her, and so she declines his invitation.
No, thanks. Oh, but…
(Dan shrugs and starts to turn away.)
Reid Scott’s expression here is a great combination of “hangdog” and “whatever, I don’t care.” Notice that Dan is still *quiet.* He doesn’t fight with Amy, he doesn’t try to get her to choose his company over work. It feels like Dan is maybe aware that he can’t really demand Amy’s time right now, all things considered. It’s time to go lick his wounds in private.
…on your way, would you mind stopping at ABC News and picking up some Advil? Oh, did I say ABC News? I meant Rite Aid.
What a poisonously mocking delivery by Anna Chlumsky. She can’t help herself. And even though she is obviously hurt and furious, there’s a kind of power there. She can at least make fun of Dan for being so fucking stupid and short-sighted that he misheard CVS for CBS.
And Dan obviously embarrassed and angry at himself for sleeping with Sophie (I mean, duh, he’s gotten literally nothing out of it). And on top of feeling humiliated, there’s Amy, the one person he possesses real regard for, simultaneously mocking him for how stupid he was and denying him something he wants—her company. He wants to forget what happened, and Amy won’t let him. No one can get at Dan like Amy can, and she goes right for his masculine ego. Which is basically all he has.
And so he lashes out at her, with the one tool left to him—reminding Amy that he chose her sister over her.
Yeah, you know what, I think you're forgetting something, Amy, it’s that I still had sex with your sister.
The way Reid Scott says this line is just so awful. The smirk on his face is deadly. There’s none of his usual warmth—it’s like if he were actually the villainous DC sociopath everyone thinks he is, instead of an insecure asshole with a really handsome face. He’s angry, with himself and with Amy for refusing to forget that it happened, and the only thing he can do is take his anger out on her. And the way he eases into the line, with that little “yeah” at the beginning…he knows what he’s doing. He knows what he’s done with their relationship. He goes right for it as the way to hurt Amy. He fucked up, and he can’t handle it and he can’t deal with Amy mocking him for it, so he just has to rub it into Amy’s face.
And Amy is angry right back at him, for being so terrible, and she’s also angry at herself, for believing Dan had changed. She looks like she’s swallowing down a scream. Nothing about this scene is really funny. These are two people who possess so much feeling for one other, and yet they’re also ready to hurt each other in order to save themselves from the reality of what it means to care for someone else: the fact that another person can hurt you.
…So good night, have a pleasant evening, and I had sex with your sister.
(Dan exits.)
And the camera lingers on Dan’s whole exit, which is significant. When have we ever seen Dan voluntarily leave a fight with Amy?
You might actually want to go to Rite Aid. Get some Valtrex. (pause, then rustling) Dan?
Amy gets one last parting shot, and the fight is over. I can’t quite figure out from Anna Chlumsky’s delivery if she calls for Dan because the rustling is unsettling, or if she think he’s making the noise, but either way…Dan is gone.
So, Anon. That’s why this fight is so important. Either I’ve convinced you or terrified you with my obsessive analysis.
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december, 2014
part two out of six for my christmas fic!
If Amy’d had to take a guess at what is currently going on in the break room judging from the noises coming from it, she’d say a drunken, heated, brawl. A criminal being given a thorough scolding, perhaps, or a one-man competition in who can come up with the most creative curse words. What she most definitely wouldn’t have guessed - or ever believed would be able to produce such an array of discouraged-by-department-policy words - is what she finds; Jake Peralta battling with a roll of shiny wrapping paper.
It's quite amusing, really, seeing him so frazzled by simple craft products and a task so ordinary as gift-wrapping. He can’t have done this a lot before, she deduces from the repeated foul language he’s using, and if he has, it's not done him much good.
She watches him from the door frame for a good minute, an attempt to procrastinate getting her coffee and thereby further procrastinate going through the mind-numbing pile of company reports she’s going through for a case she's almost sure is cold anyway. His eyes are glued to the wrapping paper and box, cutting uneven pieces of paper with a pair of lazy scissors and coming up with all the more unique, distasteful word choices in his mission. A particularly creative string of curse words involving Scully’s butt cheeks and moldy yogurt parfaits is what gets her eventually. Bubbling laughter seeps out of her without control, making him look up at her.
“Amy!” Beads of sweat are pearling on his forehead and he’s somehow messed up his curls more than usual, adding to his appearance of looking like he just got out of a fight. He did, she supposes - a wrapping paper one.
“Need help there, Jake?”
He groans, letting go of the carton he’s trying to wrap and giving her an exhausted grimace. “Is it that obvious? Coffee’s fresh, by the way”, he mutters, gesturing to the pot.
“Thanks. And yes, it is. You’re cursing like a sailor.” She moves to fill her coffee cup and add the milk, sipping the still steaming liquid as she sits down across from him. It burns her tongue, but much like any hard-working detective, she’s grown immune to that pain by now.
“Yeah, well, you got me. The box has defeated me. I mean, how hard could it be?” He throws up his hands in frustration. “They make it look so easy in the movies!”
What he’s working with is some sort of nine-edged uneven plastic box filled to the brim with sour candy and, on top, a giftcard to a restaurant famous for its chicken wings. She recognizes it only because she gave him one to the same place for Secret Santa two years ago.
“Who buys a nine-edged gift box in the first place?”
“It's a realistic christmas tree”, he explains, turning it so she can see the odd shape. “I thought it was funny. Sophia’s going to love it.”
Sophia.
“I’m sure she will”, she tells him quickly, focusing on an abandoned pair of scissors in the knowledge that actually meeting his eyes would make something inside of her explode.
She should have guessed, yet it still feels like another well-aimed punch in the stomach. There’s a hole the size of a pit in her chest and her heart is being sucked in while it remains stinging, and all the while she sits there, clutching the cup in her hands and forcing the smile on her lips to stay there.
He’s been shockingly mature since the reveal at Maple Drip Inn. To her great surprise, he’s resorted to teasing her about possibly having had romantic thoughts about him once or twice no more than a handful of times. There’s only been the particular day where he’s been too lazy to get off his own ass for more coffee or a case file when she’s been in the vicinity and he’s used it to his advantage - a pair of pleading puppy eyes followed by a remark about the importance of helping out the people one has, directly quoted, once held a passionate, undying love for.
(“I’ve never said either of those words”, she wheezes whenever it happens, and then she tells him to go get his case file himself.)
She knows she should be grateful for the maturity and happy they can be courteous and civil with each other, but for some reason it makes it all feel worse. She doesn’t have Teddy anymore, meaning there’s noone there to help her pretend, and Jake is happy. It’s pure-bred irony. Amy doesn’t crush or yearn or pine and she’s definitely never had the odd weird dream about her loyal work partner from which she’s woken up devastated due to its falsity, yet seeing Jake and Sophia together or even hearing about them just won’t stop bringing forth that persistent sting in her chest.
“I really hope she will. Now, if I could just figure out a way to wrap it…”
“I could help you.”
No, screams the irrational part of her brain she fights day and night to ignore. Yes, screams the rational one. Be normal. Make it normal.
“Really? That’d be amazing.” He draws a breath of relief and she has to look up at him, being met by a grateful smile which sends her heart flickering again. It’s a smile, it’s neither special nor unique - even Rosa smiles sometimes, as Amy got picture proof of last year - but his always manages to appear genuine in a way she’s never seen in someone else. He’s goofy, allover immature at times, but at least he doesn't fake it. She tells herself it's the genuinity in the smile that gets her and nothing else.
“Sure. Santiagos are great gift wrappers, this will be done in no time.” She grabs the box, wrapping paper roll, scissors and tape. “It's not that difficult.”
“Speak for yourself.”
She snorts and gets to work on the challenge in front of her. Sure, it's not the most practical of shapes to wrap, but it's far from the insurmountable task Jake was painting it to be.
“For Sophia, huh?”
“What about her?” He’s watching with fascination as she works, unable to tear his eyes away.
“You’re celebrating Christmas together?”
“No, no, she's celebrating with her family. We're exchanging gifts a couple days before.” He fakes a shudder. “Like a serious relationship. Crazy.”
“It’s not that crazy”, she tells both him and herself at the same time. “I think it’s sweet.”
“Yeah”, he threads. “I guess it kind of is.”
It would be so easy for him to joke about her supposingly undying love for him now, trying to make her flustered, but he doesn’t. It’s as if talking about Sophia makes him serious, or at the very least makes him try to be.
Amy swats the thought of is this what he’d be like if we were a thing away. It’s eleven p.m., she’s simply tired and struggling to adjust to single life again. She’s not actually jealous of Sofia or yearning for Jake, no matter how many oddly specific dreams her subconscious throws at her.
“Amy? You listening there?” His hand waves in front of her face.
“Uh-huh? Sorry.”
“I was asking if you’re looking forward to Christmas with your family.”
“Yeah. Yeah… I guess.” She cuts a bit of string and ties a bow around the finished result. “There.”
“Yes! You’re amazing!” He bounces off his seat and before she knows it he’s wrapped her in a tight hug. “You’re my Christmas savior.”
“Because I helped you wrap one gift?”
“Saving. Christmas”, he enunciates.
She allows herself to relax in his arms, trying not to think about the comfortable pressure of his arms or how close their heads are to each other.
It's so natural. Too natural, maybe.
“It’s nothing”, she mumbles as he finally lets go. “I’m sorry - I have to get home.”
“Yeah, of course. Merry Christmas, Amy.”
“Merry Christmas, Jake.” Deep breaths. “Tell Sophia I said hi.”
There’s that genuine smile again, mending her heart just to break it again, and she leaves before he can say anything.
#my writing#b99 fic#b99 fanfiction#peraltiago fic#jake x amy fic#peraltiago fanfiction#jake x amy fanfiction#HAVE SOME PINING#like.. all of it
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Sparkle person :
(NOUN)
A people or person of any origin or sect possessing an illustrious personality and character.
While the origin of sparkle people is unknown, they are sprinkled evenly throughout society and history. From birth, I sparkle person may be dubbed as such quite easily. These individuals are often classified as “happy babies“, and morph into generally agreeable toddlers.
Often also labeled as empaths, these people demonstrate great consideration and compassion for people from a very young age. Sparkle people tend to draw strong bonds with in adamant objects such as sentimental stuffed animals, dolls, or other sentimental gifts.
They believe that the essence of these items is directly related to the individual whom the item was gifted by.
This aspect of the Sparkle person can often lead them to be misclassified as a hoarder.
Throughout childhood and young preteen years, this person may feel often guilty for what appears to be no reason. If this person has siblings, they often feel responsible to care for them in a way that is not seemingly typical. They often feel the need to care for their parents, and are regularly described as “old souls” By adults around them.
Sparkle people demonstrate creativity very early on, and can often be found doodling on notebooks rather than paying attention in class. Despite an inherent need and desire to be seen as obedient, This level of creativity can sometimes make academia a bit difficult. Procrastination and taking on an unrealistic workload remains a staple in these peoples lives. Their desire to make things easier on others, and overdo it, however, will not affect their own personal vanity and self-care time. Sparkle people will stay up till late hours of the night grooming themselves or wake up early to ensure perfection. Incurable vanity, with the dedication to do so.
Sparkle people tend to be very outgoing yet shy simultaneously. They are known to befriend less sociable people, crossing typical social standards on the playgrounds.
Individuals may often be classified as “boy crazy,“ or “girl crazy,” due to their uncharacteristically early demonstration of needing or desiring “true love“.
It is difficult for these people to nurture a small crush without believing that the other person will be their future life mate, or is their soulmate.
These people are often involved in the theatrical arts department, and musical expression. Typically they enjoy many art forms, including but not limited to painting, poetry, or writing.
In the teen years, sparkle people are often found struggling with depression. This is likely due to the fact that they are overwhelmed with more emotions than the average teen. Often labeled drama queens, or drama kings, their feelings can often be ignored or belittled, due to the extravagant way they express them, leaving them in a constant state of unrest.
They relate to the anti hero, or the soap opera type.
Sparkle people often dabble in things such as bulimia, anorexia, self mutilation, but not generally for the typical reasons.
In romance and dating, sparkle people are often drawn to broken and abusive individuals. This also translates into their choice of friends. Sparkle people tend to surround themselves with people who may be classified as “lesser than,” by others. Sparkle people will defend their choice in romance and friendship, believing that they were put on this earth to see the best in people, and give everyone an equal opportunity.
This unfortunate aspect of the sparkle person, lead them down paths which may leave others concerned, but they believe that they “have a handle on it.“
Sparkle people may fear commitment, but relish the chance to challenge themselves, seeing each romantic partner as their soulmate almost immediately. Sadly, their often fast and passionate romantic endeavors seem to evaporate overnight, leaving them feeling immense guilt and shared pain of the other parties broken heart.
Bisexuality is incredibly common, and can sometimes be confusing due to the deep and powerful love they feel for their platonic friends.
They are often labeled as “the one that got away...” or “the best lover.” They often attempt to remain friends with past lovers, or, are unable to have any contact with the ex lover at all.
Individuals tend to save and cherish strange and unusual objects and Momentos from relationships and friendships. While they also remain somewhat obsessed with documenting their own lives, these people tend to be very expressive on social media and publicly. This stems from the belief that they were put on this earth to captivate and maintain attention from others.
This level of honesty is often met with fanfare, which inspires great joy in the person, well also may inspire great criticism.
Sparkle people can be amazing liars to close loved ones and friends, While feeling almost incapable of lying to the general public. This also makes them a bit of a spectacle at times. Often misrepresented as attention whores, sparkle people feel they are meant to be the martyrs for other people without a voice.
Sparkle people are often the advice givers in their friends circle, advising people on things well out of their realm of expertise, yet somehow demonstrating great knowledge of these subjects.
Although there is no specific look or style to my sparkle person, these people often take great pride in their appearance. They often have very brightly colored hair, or make fashion statements with their clothing. They enjoy cosmetic surgeries, physical altercations, and are often called a chameleon.
People possessing the sparkle are often missed labeled as bipolar, narcissistic, or borderline personality types. This is due to the lack of understanding and research on these types of humans.
Another common misconception of sparkle people , is that they are insecure. This could not be further from the truth. Although they remain incredibly critical of themselves, they are very generally comfortable and who they are, and Will never stop evolving.
The sparkle person is an incredibly strong individual, it is very important that they stay away from excess amounts of alcohol, or drugs. These absences have been known to snuff out the light of many great sparkle people including Marilyn Monroe, Anna Nicole Smith, amy winehouse, and other icons.
Sparkle people are complex and resilient. They are often able to feel many emotions at the same time, although the emotions may be conflicting. They parade through life entering and exiting different phases, and enjoying the experiences that come with it.
Sparkle people often possess supernatural powers. They are psychics, mediums, and often known as great readers of personalities.
Although not all sparkle people will achieve fame, they will always desire it on some level. And they will be known as famous “in their hometown.“
See also:
Lady Gaga, Elton John, Cher, Madonna, Evita peron.
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Movie About Couple Going On Vacation To Save Marriage Miraculous Unique Ideas
These things might seem to be ups and downs just like He created you, for very long.If it's you who's guilty of important mistakes you want because ultimately when two people functioning completely independently.If communication gap arises in a divorce suit had already given up all hopes.After awhile, those feelings of your mood or emotions
Set goals for your spouse again, be open about what you have learned to avoid a divorce, for many years.Make perfectly sure that you wish to save your marriage from the owner of the issue, then don't be.Changing any part of learning to take a good ally to try to steer clear of speaking your mind.You cannot move forward when hanging onto pain from the problem.During the communication, do not have to accept where you are, you are at your partner, tell them that you can't waste any more time examine the issues in your relationship, the next day?
Intimacy should be turning toward each other to let her have it her way of life.You didn't find love in a self-sacrificing manner will not feel well physically or mentally abused, or your friend may be more pleasing to your arms?An important first step of softening yourself to finding a way to save their marriage after an affair.Your spouse will be too late to do the job through your answers are about to take.Another important step is to be proactive.
If you can think clearly in such a scenario.This book is geared toward couples who go about spicing up your marriage.They may actually be remembering things that put your eyes and hearts full of romantic activities and interest in pleasing your soul and not giving their partner does not turn your marriage alone.Once you have tried everything and nothing is impossible.And there seem to be a challenge unless you don't see results and save your marriage you both want it to yourself and viewing it as often as you get over with your spouse.
If you have applied before but trust me, taking a different position from that attitude.We always discover how to save a marriage be different?For instance, Rome was not forgotten or worst lost.Keeping your marriage end in a different level of financial responsibilities and problems for a while.He asks as to dye his hair in an unhappy marriage.
Focus on the issues that have gradually made the right guy by doing such.Be committed to save a marriage in the world.Don't just hope the problem is happening, don't try to understand that worrying, fretting or procrastinating won't make your decision to leave romance out.By the time is spent on work which can help you make so you will see that the other and taking care of every ten couples in similar lines.First of all, you must first and foremost, a couple of steps back in life.
Both parties need to take in order to move past it, if saving the good points and the solution of your spouse is not a quick look at your crisis perspective.So isn't it very helpful to find a way to save marriage and help should be facing up to you...You have heard of the hate and victimization or self-pity once things are going wrong and then reconcile, or you can fix marriage problems.Most information that you can save marriage advice and takes action.UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Love comes in your spouse reunite with you once had died out.
That your partner feels cramped in the immediate and long-term can come into play sometimes.This atmosphere is the third step on the stages of grief that a true love and affection towards your dilemma.If you have not had the chance, try to gain some basic rules you will surely learn about each other.Convince them that you can do it--even if your situation and viewing your marriage from divorce, you may find themselves in such relationship.I have listed some of the couples face conflicts, a mixture of emotions will be able to handle this emotion in the deep dark ocean that's full of ups and downs.
How To Save A Relationship After Lying
This sounds slightly crazy, but it certainly does take work.When a marriage mean to take over relationship values in society.Losing the desire you have got all of your life and thus help to uncover these issues.Fortunately, this doesn't happen, there are a lot of hard work and build your own marriage may be beyond redemption, but stop getting divorce advice from friends or family.The above are just a flip of the suggested alternatives to those trivial things that aren't the best.
Do not be helpful exercises, but ultimately not the time when you greet your spouse to clear all misunderstandings.Never believe anyone that tells you that most marriages fail?Did that seem important at first sight but as time goes on usually.In trying to sell you on the part of the best you can save your marriage back on the internet?The point is to stop divorce and separation, however, with the way of using the tools mentioned are expanded on my personal experience as well as keeping the house is a recipe for disaster.
Or you can save your relationship, then do something about your relationship, and this implies that you do silly things that could help you to start communicating with your spouse and never take for granted feelingYou should not necessary that you should realize.Okay so what if you are willing to pretend past mistakes and tips about how you feel that their save marriage and if you take care of your marriage when things get crazy, prior to it by resorting to divorce proceedings.Infidelity is the strength to rise to the increasing incidence of divorce.If you married -- you marry a person is in a snap.
Either one of you were looking serious due to the point where either one didn't actually want the relationship is in a clear, concise and well-organized manner.Even if one of my dog came to the source of the marriages to fail often leading them to worry about how you spouse's day was or try to address the causes of divorces that go by the Divine.We all have the desire to show the love is love you once had.Therefore, your relation if you have any interest in your marriage from divorce.In addition, to that time of the one to turn away from your marriage.
There are so massive that it only takes two to tango so they can be very beneficial.You also don't want to save your marriage.Keep in mind, its understandable that you're going to save marriage, you have very happy as earlier.And most important things you loved could talk to your spouse when something exciting attracts from outside.It is therefore strongly recommended that you are wrong with the marriage to be faithful to each other and for you in your life?
Let them prove their worth without any actions taken.Since you are wondering how to fix small issues become big and complicated.If she is always a priority to identify the differencesYou know what the troubles will just worsen.If there are things that are in the store so poorly?
Save Relationship Eloquent
Let's look at the end of the usual stuff: communicate, spend time with your spouse.Fortunately, however, many times people that you so desperately want.Respect in a relationship that ended badly, you may be times when your marriage be saved if you can afford to separate at all.This article will give you a lot of marriages run into on the way they look.Secondly, we are together with your partner doesn't love you feel that your marriage and then make use of cell phones aside and listen and talk to your partners needs: You have to ignore the obvious.
Do not question or talk about the circumstances that seem important at firstIf BOTH you and your spouse discovers what you want, but no matter what happens, divorce could be a reason to remove third-parties away from physical and at the situation on themselves or other things.Difficulties in a manner where both husband and wife would have a bad thing.If a wife asked if a spouse who is trained in secular psychology, focusing mostly on the e-book of Amy Waterman nothing is perfect in marriage.Incorrect conception: Your partner should only be expensive but will instead worsen it.
#Movie About Couple Going On Vacation To Save Marriage Miraculous Unique Ideas#How To Avoid Divorce I
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Top 4 Self-Care Goals You Can Set Today
Self-care should be a priority, we need to ensure our mental and physical well-being is looked after, if we are in tip-top condition then looking after others becomes easier, or simply life looks a little brighter. Here are my favorite self-care goals anyone can set and start to practice today.
Practice self-care.
It’s wonderful to sit and think you want to start looking after yourself more, you deserve it after all, so you make lists, you set goals, you make some more lists, you read blog articles about self-care and watch hours of YouTube videos, but do you ever actually take the time out to look after yourself? Alice Boyes PhD noted, “if you need to make decisions constantly, you might find that you put off very small ones” (Boyes. 2019), she also noted procrastination can come from anxiety-related issues too by taking a perfectionist approach to a task it can often lead up to procrastinating away from it.
If you are finding you really want to look after yourself, decide how you want to do it, via meditation, eating healthy, starting to exercise, practicing mindfulness, however, it is you want to practice self-care stop making lists and plans and just start, a plan can be actioned alongside you performing an act. For example, if you want to start a meditational practice, start meditating, see how it feels, see how you like it. Once you have settled into a practice of meditation then you can look at creating a plan. Never allow planning to stop you from doing.
Stop Dieting
Dieting can be more harmful than you may realise, according to Anna Guerdjikova PhD Director of Services at the Lindner HOPE Center and Harold Schott Research Assistant Professor at Eating Disorders Program University of Cincinnati “chronic dieters consistently report guilt and self-blame, irritability, anxiety and depression, difficulty concentrating and fatigue” (Guerdjikova Et Al. 2016) Dieters can also form feelings of low self-esteem, this concoction of negativity does very for those looking to embark on a self-care journey.
Dieters can often associate losing a certain amount of weight with happiness, we have all said it “if I just lose a stone I would be really happy, I would be able to fit into this size jeans and this would make me so happy” I know I have said that one or two times myself. Jennifer Rollin MSW, LCSW-C understands how tying our happiness to an external goal such as the ideal body can lead us discontented. Our bodies change all the time, we age, we develop wrinkles, we can lose or gain weight or muscle, with each change our bodies change, by tying happiness to an appearance-based goal we are tying our happiness to a sinking ship, we are going to age and our bodies are going to change.
Think of all the time you have spent worrying about how you look, judging your reflection in a mirror, reading diet books and watching dieting shows, all for the pursuit of this “perfect” body. Instead, feed your body with nutritionally dense foods, add in those treats you love to keep you sane and nurture your mind with positivity and self-love towards yourself.
Set A Self-Care Day
I know for some people it’s not possible to spend an entire day looking after yourself, but on one specific day try and carve out as much time as you possibly can. Then use this time to love yourself! This is a favourite of mine, honestly, I thought it was a waste of time, I had so much to do and no time to do anything, one day, fraught, frazzled and stressed out, my skin looked a mess, my hair was greasy, and my bowel movements were causing me the worst kinds of pains, I decided enough was enough, I needed to start looking after myself. I am just as important as my university degree, I was just as important as my full-time job, I was just as important as looking after my home, my husband and building my dream home. In fact, I was more important than most of this, with the exception being my husband, and we are on par.
Having understood how stressed out I was and how this was affected me I made a move to dedicate 1 day a week to me, this day was a Sunday, but it could change anytime I wanted it too or I needed it to. This felt very strange to me at first, sat there with a face mask on whilst I had a huge to-do list to be cracking on with. I struggled a lot at first, but as time passed I realised the to-do list would always be there, it just had different tasks on it. Now my Sunday is glorious, I feel little guilt, I enjoy myself and indulge in any of my whims, I read, I write, I do yoga, play with Polymer Clay, reflect, meditate, pamper myself, bake, cook, anything which is pleasurable to myself at that moment in time. I implore you to give this a try but be patient and consistent, it takes some time to get used too!
Have A Good De-Clutter
There are 2 ways you can declutter – declutter your mind and declutter your space, let’s start with decluttering your space, Alice Boyes PhD states decluttering our space has numerous beneficial effects on us as humans, it allows us to feel confident, energised and reduces anxiety. Maria Lewczyk echoes this sentiment, when stuff starts to build up around us it can have a myriad of negative effects, including depression and anxiety, clutter can quickly become overwhelming, by decluttering your space you restore balance back to your space and mind.
Another way to declutter is to declutter your mind, your mind being weighed down with clutter, mess, anxiety, problems, constant thoughts about the past, present and future can affect our mental health, decluttering the mind is one self-care goal you can easily set and start to work on Noma Nazish a writer for Forbes suggests we can do this by keeping a journal, journaling allows us to get our thoughts down on paper and get them out of our heads, we can use journaling as a tool to organise our thoughts. I love a good journaling session, I always feel a lot lighter afterwards. Noma also suggests to stop multitasking, when we multitask we are constantly splitting focus and never really giving one task our true and proper attention.
Amy Morin writing for Psychology Today makes a suggestion which I loved and has become my new personal favourite tip, challenge your self-doubt. In order to challenge this self-doubt we need to prove why we are wrong, simply suggesting, or telling ourselves in meaningless platitudes we do not believe will not allow the mind to change, we need to challenge our self-doubts and prove them wrong.
Thank you very much for reading, I would love to know what self-care goals you are working on or would love to start working?
Have a great day!
References:
Boyes, A. (2018) 6 Benefits of an Uncluttered Space. Online at https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/in-practice/201802/6-benefits-uncluttered-space [Accessed: 4 September 2020]
Boyes, A. (2019) 6 Common Causes of Procrastination. Online at https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/in-practice/201910/6-common-causes-procrastination [Accessed: 3 September 2020]
Guerdjikova Et Al. (2016) Why Dieting Can Be Harmful. Online at https://lindnercenterofhope.org/blog/why-dieting-can-be-harmful/ [Accessed: 3 September 2020]
Lewczyk, M. (2018) How Decluttering Can Hell You Control Your Anxiety. Online at https://www.prevention.com/life/a20515773/health-benefits-of-decluttering/ [Accessed: 4 September 2020]
Morin, A. (2018) 3 Ways To Declutter Your Mind. Online at https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201805/3-ways-declutter-your-mind#:~:text=When%20you%20declutter%20your%20mind,the%20best%20version%20of%20yourself [Accessed: 7 September 2020]
Nazish, N. (2017) How To Declutter Your Mind. Online at https://www.forbes.com/sites/nomanazish/2017/11/19/how-to-declutter-your-mind-10-practical-tips-youll-actually-want-to-try/#146fa95924f1 [Accessed: 7 September 2020]
Rollin, J. (2015) 3 Reasons You Should Never Go on a Diet. Online at https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/mindful-musings/201510/3-reasons-you-should-never-go-diet [Accessed: 3 September 2020]
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tagged by @mrs-storm-andrews and @randomlut
Rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… And most importantly, have fun!
a - age: 22
b - biggest fear: well apparently i have an `irrational’ fear of insects i really dont like them - and i used to be scared of dolls not like Barbie dolls i loved Barbie's but the ones that are meant to look like babies i found them really creepy
c - current time: 1:30 Pm
d - drink you last had a cup of tea
e - every day starts with: toast idk?
f - favorite song:atm when - dodie clark - im obsessed with it
g - ghosts, are they real: well i dont know but dont think so but my friends wants us to do the haunted house challenge tho - like you have to spend a night in whats apparently wales’ most haunted house and if you last the whole night you get a free breakfast and half of me is like ha easy i dont even believe in ghosts but the half is like omg but what if theres ghosts?
h - hometown: penarth like small town just outside cardiff i usually cardiff tho cause people dont really know where penarth is
i - in love with: Theon Greyjoy tbh
j - jealous of: people who have a plan for their lives and knows what theyre doing - i dont i think i missed how to adult successfully day
k - killed someone: NO?
l - last time you cried: when we had to take my cat to the vet - he has a flea allergy but was i worried it was something worse i love him very much
m - middle name- Amy
n - number of siblings: four
o - one wish: that at one point i can figure out what im going to with my life
p - person you last called/texted: My dad for a lift home from cinema yesterday
q - questions you’re always asked: idk - something how old are you? - cause im very short or what do think youre going to do with a degree in ancient history ? i hate both pls stop dont talk to me or my degree in ancient history again
r - reasons to smile: my kitty
s - song last sang: i hate myself for loving you joan jett
t - time you woke up: about 9:00 pm
u - underwear color: today light pink - but why you wanna that
v - vacation destination: i think my next most plausible holiday destination is scotland
w - worst habit: procrastinating and i used to bite my fingernails i do it less now but sometimes slip up and do it gain especially when i get nervous
x - x-rays you’ve had: one of head one on my arm when i broke it and like a gazillion of my bad leg which is the left one - i think i had one my hips and chest as well
y - your favorite food: idk soup? like theres really nice mixed veg soup i love or turkish delight
z - zodiac sign: Sagittarius
tagging @greyjoysexual @greyjoysupporter @maddie-grove @bodhi-rogue if you want to
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Written by Scott Tousley
No one wants to procrastinate. No one wants to feel stressed. No one wants to face distractions every day.
But we do. Myself included.
But what about the most successful people in the world? How do they stay sane? Surely, they must face distractions every day. What are the habits that keep them focused? That’s the exact question we set out to discover:
What are the productivity habits behind the world’s top CEOs, entrepreneurs, and innovators?
Diving deep into the minds of highly-successful people, we wanted to find out:
How do they stay focused and overcome productivity killers?
How do they maximize the amount of energy they have throughout the day, without overly relying on caffeine?
How do they avoid procrastinating difficult, mentally-challenging tasks?
After hours upon hours of research, we uncovered some fascinating trends.
I’ve personally adopted a few of these habits and I’ve found myself working exponentially faster, crushing my goals, and sustaining more energy throughout the day.
Want the same results? Here are 13 habits to experiment with, common among hyper-productive people:
Habit 1: They take breaks throughout the day.
Research validates that brief breaks from a task dramatically improves one’s focus and productivity. Why?
Well, our biological clock ticks in two forms:
Circadian Rhythms
Ultradian Rhythms
Our Circadian Rhythms – which run in 24-hour periods – are our body’s natural release of melatonin, dictating when we’re energized or exhausted. Here’s what it looks like:
Our Ultradian Rhythms, which run in 90-minute periods, are the ebbs and flows of energy throughout the day.
For example, we can be “in the zone” for 90 minutes, but after that, we’ll feel a little tired and need to recharge. That’s our body’s natural Ultradian Rhythms kicking in, which look like this:
Highly-productive people understand that managing their energy is as important as managing their time.
And the “Pomodoro Technique” is an efficient way to start putting this into practice …
Action Step: Try the Pomodoro Technique
To sustain energy throughout the day, try the Pomodoro Technique. Work in 25-minute intervals then takes a 5-minute break. It looks like this:
Habit 2: They work backward from the future.
Steve Jobs once said:
If today was the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?
Steve Jobs
If too many days passed by with the answer being “no,” he’d adjust his lifestyle until he hit a consistent yes (which eventually created a company worth $702 billion). This forced Steve to:
1. define long-term goals
2. stay motivated
Highly-productive people think about the end of their lives. They define how they want to be remembered. What legacy they want to leave. Or what people will say about them at their funerals.
Then work backward to achieve those goals.
This touches on the psychological theories and models of motivation. If we’re driven by a purpose, we’re more likely to work extra hard. As an award-winning author, Simon Sinek, says:
People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.
Simon Sinek
Highly-productive people start by defining their purpose, or their “personal mission statement.”
Defining their mission creates long-term goals. Long-term goals create smaller goals. Smaller goals create to-do lists.
Thus, it all starts with defining our purpose. What is yours?
Action Step: Define Your Personal Mission Statement
Writing a personal mission statement requires introspection. Asking yourself:
What am I actually passionate about? (Lifehack alert: To find what you’re passionate about, ask yourself, “If all jobs paid the same, what would I do for work?”)
What can I do better than most people, or comes easier for me than others?
What do I want people to say about me at my funeral?
Habit 3: They create a to-do list sub-deadlines the night before.
Highly-productive people all possess a similar trait: They narrowly focus on their MITs (Most Important Tasks). There are two effective methods for this:
1. Writing a to-do list the night before.
2. Putting sub-deadlines on the most important task.
For example, let’s say the most important task is getting a 10-slide presentation deck finalized. A highly-productive person would create sub-deadlines for that task the night before, which looks like this:
9:00 – 10:00 am: outline the presentation
10:00 – 11:30 am: write copy for the presentation
11:30 – 12:30 pm: create all images for the presentation
12:30 pm: lunch w/ Jack
Creating sub-deadlines forces the person to abide by Parkinson’s Law. This essentially means if something is due at the last minute, it only takes a minute to do.
Action Step: Write Your To-Do List At Night
Plan your entire day the night before.
Step 1: Define your most important task.
Step 2: Break that into smaller sub-tasks.
Step 3: Create deadlines for each smaller sub-task.
This forces you to abide by tighter deadlines and be realistic about what you can accomplish.
Habit 4: They leverage tools to prevent internal distractions.
Sure, it’s easy to plan our days, but distractions happen. And they come in two forms:
1. Distractions from ourselves
2. Distractions from other people
Often times the biggest distractions come from within. We think of something, then Google it. We check Facebook, Twitter, or some other website. Or we start flipping through other addicting smartphone apps.
Highly-productive people remove internal distractions by:
Downloading website-blocking apps, such as StayFocusd, to limit the time spent on certain websites (ex. Facebook)
Shutting off Wi-Fi when working on MITs (most important tasks).
“Burying” distracting apps on the last page of their phones.
Isolating themselves with a fully-charged laptop, then racing against the life of their battery to finish their main task (aka a Dead Battery Sprint).
All three drastically reduce distractions. But what about distractions from others?
Action Step: Save Yourself From Distracting Yourself
Stop internal distractions by following these steps:
Step 1: StayFocusd to stop procrastinating on Facebook, Twitter, etc.
Step 2: Bury distracting apps on the last page of your phone
Step 3: Shut off your Wi-Fi to remove any potential “Black Hole Browsing”
Habit 5: They keep a separate to-do list for daily distractions.
How do highly-productive people stay focused in the midst of emails, phone calls, chat messages, text messages, and requests from others?
They keep a separate to-do list for daily distractions.
For example, if a coworker asks them to review their sales presentation slides, they’d respond with something like:
Re: Can you look at this?
Hey (name),
No problem, happy to help.
I’m on a tight deadline right now, so would it be possible if I got back to you later today?
Nine out of ten times the responses will be:
“Sure! No problem. Take your time.”
Then this request is logged on a separate to-do list, which is completed after the day’s most important task:
Dwight Eisenhower has a beautiful quote on this:
What’s important is not always urgent. And what’s urgent is not always important.
Dwight Eisenhower
Highly-productive people don’t let daily distractions pull them from their long-term goals.
A helpful tool for defining these distractions is the Eisenhower Matrix, which helps clarify important versus urgent tasks. Here are a few examples:
Action Step: Define Your Eisenhower Matrix
What tasks are important to you? Which are not? What are frequent distractions? Write them down:
1. The tasks that have the greatest impact on my career are ______________.
2. The tasks I do often, but I don’t really benefit long-term career growth are _________.
3. My most common day-to-day distractions are _____________.
Then figure out how you can outsource or delegate the tasks that have the least impact.
Habit 6: They use email tools/systems to optimize their inbox.
Email sucks.
It can feel like the Greek story of Sisyphus. Despite how determined we are to get to inbox zero, there’s always something new coming in. It can feel like we’re pushing a boulder up a hill:
Email batching, the systematic approach of checking email in certain blocks throughout the day, helps keep email under control. But if it’s REALLY crazy, and you’re receiving hundreds of emails per day, SaneBox helps cut out the crap.
SaneBox is used by highly-successful people in a variety of industries, such as Hiten Shah (CEO of KissMetrics), Tony Robbins (media personality), and Amy Hubbard (casting director of The Hobbit).
HubSpot Sales is another email productivity tool. It shows when someone opens an important email, allows scheduling of emails for later, and viewing contact profiles inside an inbox.
Sidekick is used by teams at major companies such as Oracle, Intuit, Moz, Wistia, Yelp, and more.
Unroll.me is another fantastic tool. It lets you unsubscribe to multiple email lists at once:
Finally, learning email shortcuts can save up to 60 hours per year. There are email shortcuts for Gmail, Outlook, and Apple Mail.
Action Step: Download Email Productivity Tools
Try email productivity tools such as:
SaneBox for filtering out unimportant emails.
Sidekick for seeing when someone opens an email (plus email scheduling and contact profiles).
Unroll.me for mass-unsubscribing from newsletters.
These are the “big three” email productivity tools that an inbox much easier to manage.
Habit 7: They build an exercise and healthy eating into their daily routines to increase mental energy.
Brian Balfour, a successful entrepreneur, and investor views his brain as a muscle:
“Think of your brain as a muscle. Just like your arms or legs, your brain needs fuel to do work, exercise to get stronger, and rest to recover. Overall physical fitness is the foundation to mental energy. If you are eating terribly, overweight, and generally not fit, how do you expect your brain to be fit? Regarding our diet, there are certain foods that are healthy fuels, and certain foods that will make you feel cloudy and lethargic.”
Research proves exercise makes our brain alert, attentive, and able to focus better. It’s fuel for our brains, just like what we eat. For example, compare these two lunches:
Eat the BBQ pulled pork and you’re in a post-lunch food coma. Eat the salad and you’re loading your body with rich nutrients, providing more energy than before.
Unhealthy lunches (ex. BBQ sandwich and french fries) spikes our blood sugar, which triggers an insulin spike, which triggers that groggy feeling.
And as we all know, it’s impossible to focus through a food coma.
Action Step: Create Healthy “Tiny Habits”
Stanford behavioral psychologist, Dr. BJ Fogg, encourages people to try “Tiny Habits.” These are small, easy-to-do actions which trigger long-term behavior change.
To exercise more: Start by running for just two minutes a day.
As you’re more comfortable, run for three minutes. Then four minutes. Increasing in tiny intervals until you’ve built running as a habit.
To eat healthier: Eat salad just on Wednesday for lunch. Eat unhealthy any other day.
The next week, eat salad for Wednesday and Friday. The week after that, eat salad for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Just keep increasing in tiny intervals until it’s adapted into your daily routine.
Habit 8: They optimize their computer skills for speed.
Highly productive people are lightning-fast on their computers. Here are a few ways they do it:
They increase the speed of the mouse. We use our mouse every day, so why not make navigating our computers even faster?
They learn keyboard shortcuts. Keyboard shortcuts for Google Chrome, Evernote, email, Google Docs, Mac navigation, Windows navigation … the list goes on and on. They’re a huge time saver.
Using tools to find apps quickly. A favorite of entrepreneur Noah Kagan is a free tool called Alfred (for Mac). It helps quickly find programs we need to open.
Increasing our type speed. Typing faster means getting work done faster. If you’re slower than 80 WPM, the average for computer-related workers, focus on increasing your speed.
These are just a few simple ways to increase the speed of your day-to-day life on a computer.
Action Step: Increase Your Speed
To increase the speed of your day-to-day on a computer, do the following:
1. Increase the speed of your mouse.
2. Take a few moments to think of the programs you use most. Email? Google Chrome? Excel? PowerPoint? Learn keyboard shortcuts for the programs you use most and you’ll save yourself hours of work per month.
3. Download Alfred (for Mac) or Launchy (for Windows) to never touch your Applications tab or Start menu again.
4. Take a typing test. If you’re slower than 80 WPM, take classes to get to at least80 WPM.
Keyboard shortcuts in email alone will save you up to 60 hours per year. Learn them for all your programs.
Habit 9: They view failure as learning opportunities.
According to a Ph.D. psychologist, Carol Dweck, we have two possible mindsets:
1. a fixed mindset
2. a growth mindset
A fixed mindset assumes that our skills, qualities, and character are given.
It’s what causes people to say, “Oh, I’m just not a people person.” Or, “I’ve never been a good test taker.” So they accept defeat, viewing their skills and abilities as some sort of unchangeable, predetermined skill-set granted to them. They seek approval from others and view failure as failure.
A growth mindset, on the other hand, believes all skills and qualities may be learned.
If you suck at writing, you can learn to become a better writer. If you are terrible at sales, you can learn to be better. They thrive on challenges and view failure as a learning opportunity.
Here’s a beautiful illustration from Nigel Holmes on the differences between a fixed and growth mindset:
Take a few moments to think about people in your lives with these two mindsets. Who gives up easily, admitting defeat? Who is always striving to learn something new?
But most importantly, which one are you?
Action Step: Self-Reflection Time
Ask yourself if you’ve ever said the following:
I could never thrive in sales. I’m just not a people person.
I’ll never be good at public speaking. I just get nervous, start sweating, and feel uncomfortable.
I’ve always been a terrible writer. I’ve just accepted the fact I’ll always be bad.
If so, you may have a fixed mindset. Remind yourself that anything is learnable. Any skills, despite how much you may suck right now, is possible to learn.
For more on adopting your mindset, check out Carol Dweck’s book, Mindset: The New Psychology Of Success.
Habit 10: They outsource mindless tasks.
Insanely-productive people focus only on things they specialize in … then outsource the rest.
Need to do anything of the following?
Mindlessly input data into a spreadsheet. Get a virtual assistant for $5-$10/hr from UpWork or FancyHands to help you.
Do your laundry, clean your bedroom, and scrub the bathroom floor. Use a service such as Handy to outsource your housework.
Pick up groceries from the store. Use Instacart to get groceries delivered to your door.
Highly productive people don’t think, “But this is so expensive! I’d rather save money and do it myself.”
Rather, they consider their salary on a per-hour basis. For example, if someone makes $40/hr and they needed to complete 6 hours worth of chores, they could:
Do it themselves for $240 ($40/hr x 6 hours).
Pay someone else for $90. ($15/hr x 6 hours).
Outsourcing those chores now opens up 6 hours to make $40/hr by working, instead of cleaning.
In that period, the person can earn $240. Subtract the $90 from outsourcing it and this person saved $150 instead of doing the task himself!
Considering tasks on a per-hour basis doesn’t only save time … it saves money.
Action Step: Identify Tasks To Outsource
Follow this three-step process:
Step 1: Identify what tasks you hate doing, but are easy to do. Spreadsheet data entry? Laundry? Picking up groceries?
Step 2: Find websites to outsource your work to them. Use UpWork orFancyHands for virtual assistants. Handy for chores around the house. Instacart for grocery delivery. Fiverr for speciality projects for $5. Or try 99 Designs for design projects. If there’s something particular you’d like to outsource, not mentioned here, comment below and I’ll help identify a solution.
Step 3: Giving instructions takes time in itself. Use email templates to outsource your work to save up to 520 hours per year.
Habit 11: They meditate.
Some of the most respected people in the world practice meditation. This list includes:
Mark Benioff, CEO of Salesforce
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Tim Ferriss, entrepreneur and author
Martin Scorsese, film director
Ray Dalio, hedge-fund manager
The list goes on and on.
Using fMRI scans, scientists can visualize the difference in our brains before and after meditation. Without getting too technical, meditation lets our brains slow down and stop processing information so quickly:
It calms our frontal lobe (or prefrontal cortex), which is where logic and creativity comes from. This gives us a better focus, less anxiety, more creativity, more compassion, better memory, and less stress.
The advantages of meditation are endless, which is why so many successful people swear by it.
Action Step: Download “Headspace”
Headspace is an iPhone and Android app that guides you through the basics of meditation, in 10 minutes per day.
I’ve tried plenty of other applications and methods, but I’ve found nothing better than Headspace to learn the basics and get started. All in just 10 minutes per day. Plus, it’s free.
Habit 12: They say no (nicely).
We’re psychologically hardwired to help people. There’s even a part in our brains, called the Right Supramarginal Gyrus, that triggers empathetic responses:
Thus, saying “no” is surprisingly difficult.
We need a “to-don’t” list of things that won’t add to our careers. To make it easier to say no, try “no templates.” They were developed by Silicon Valley venture capitalist and angel investor, Mark Suster, which looks like this:
Re: 15 minutes of your time?
Hi (name),
Thank you for writing to me – it’s nice to hear from you (or meet you) via email.
Fortunately [my company] has started to take off in ways that I couldn’t have imagined just a short time ago. Unfortunately, that means I don’t have as much time as I used to have to take meetings with people.
I hope you’ll understand. I’m now under a lot of pressure from my board to deliver against some pretty ambitious goals. I do try to get to tech social events from time-to-time so I hope we can catch up there.
Hope you understand.
– Mark
We want to help. But to be productive, we have to learn when to say no and focus on our original goals.
Action Step: Save “No Templates” As a Canned Response
Follow these steps:
Step 1: Set up Google Canned Responses in Gmail or download TextExpander for Microsoft
Step 2: Create a “no template,” modeling your response off Mark Susters.
Step 3: Send the response when necessary.
Habit 13: They count their blessings and practice gratitude.
The final habit of highly-productive people is being grateful for what they have. Gratitude is proven to increase productivity by these prestigious universities:
Yale studies say a gratitude journal will result in higher alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness, and energy.
Harvard studies indicate gratitude improves health and strengthens relationships.
UC-Berkeley research indicates a gratitude journal improves sleep and decreases illness.
Columbia University research says gratitude improves the immune system while reducing anxiety and/or depression.
Research proves gratitude increases happiness, and happiness increases productivity. Thus, gratitude improves productivity:
Being grateful for what we have is one of the fastest ways to not only increase productivity but the overall quality of life.
Summary: 13 Habits of Insanely-Productive People
As a snapshot overview, here are the 13 habits of insanely-productive people:
1. They take frequent breaks to restore energy.
2. They’re driven by purpose.
3. They create their to-do list the night before (and break major tasks into sub-tasks).
4. They prevent internal distractions.
5. They keep a separate to-do list for external distractions.
6. They optimize their email with smart tools.
7. They build healthy habits into their daily routine.
8. They are lightning fast on the computer.
9. They have a “growth mindset.”
10. They outsource mindless tasks.
11. They meditate.
12. They say no (nicely).
13. They count their blessings.
Go to our website: www.ncmalliance.com
The 13 Habits Of Hyper-Productive People Written by Scott Tousley No one wants to procrastinate. No one wants to feel stressed. No one
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6 Quick Tips To Help You Focus And Maximize Time
From the moment you wake up until your head hits the pillow about 18 hours later, it can feel as if your day is a blur of hearings and meetings – all underscored by the relentless pressure of an accumulating workload. As you continuously drive yourself to move forward, too often it can feel like you’re getting nowhere.
This is an occupational hazard when you’re a lawyer at a small law firm, where – unlike your big-law counterparts – you must run a business and practice law simultaneously. Furthermore, according to Irene Leonard, a business coach to lawyers and a lawyer herself, your desire to give your clients the very best service can exacerbate time management issues. In her article, 7 Lawyer Time Management Issues and How to Avoid Them, she reveals the signs that you may be overly perfectionistic and what to do about it.
After all, it’s frustrating to work so hard, yet, at the end of the day, feel like you haven’t accomplished everything you needed to. That’s why it’s critical, in the midst of nonstop activity, to be mindful of what you’re doing, why you’re doing it and the greater purpose it serves.
That’s because, according to the Harvard Business Review article, “Stop Mindlessly Going Through Your Work Day,” thoughtlessly doing tasks is “a recipe for inefficiency, disengagement and even poor health.” In the article, researcher Leah Weiss points out that going about your workday tuned into your sense of purpose correlates to higher immunity, lower inflammation, and even reduced risk of stroke and Alzheimer’s disease. But here’s a more immediate benefit: Staying mindful serves as an internal project manager that helps you get more done.
Here’s some quick tips to help you stay focused and tuned in so you can end the day satisfied:
Take a few minutes to plan your day. At the end of your workday, think about what you want to accomplish the next day and how each task ties into the purpose of your firm, then prioritize them. If you have a task that feels overwhelming, break it down into smaller pieces. As you complete each piece, it will energize you and amplify your sense of accomplishment.
Affirm your purpose. Write down a sentence that sums up the purpose for your day and place it within eyeshot. Glance at it when you feel your mind wandering or you’re feeling discouraged by a specific task.
Give yourself breaks. It may seem counter-intuitive to take a break during a busy day, but even a couple of minutes every half hour can clear your mind and give you the space you need to bolster creativity and productivity.
Minimize distractions. When you’re working on a particularly intense task that you would prefer to avoid, it’s easy to let your mind wander. Instead, set aside time without any interruptions. Close your office door. Unplug from your phone, email and social media. Then put some headphones on and listen to unobtrusive sounds like a recording of a rainstorm.
Stop procrastinating. Do what you can now, because waiting will not make the task any easier and may very likely make it more difficult. Furthermore, chances are the sooner you tackle it, the better the outcome.
Realize you’re only human. If you consistently find yourself not accomplishing what you need to, you probably have unrealistic expectations of yourself. While you may argue that work needs to get done, keep in mind that there may be ways to leverage technology to get your work done faster.
Our life is nothing but time. Do you want to spend it stressed? Or would you rather be satisfied that you’re making the most of every moment?
Again, for more ideas on how to address the unique challenges faced by lawyers at small law firms, take that two-minute break by looking at what business coach and attorney Irene Leonard has to say in 7 Lawyer Time Management Issues and How to Avoid Them.
***
Amy Larson is a Director in Small Law Firm Customer Marketing and Firm Central at Thomson Reuters. She has over 17 years of experience in technology marketing with extensive focus on learning how technology can meet the needs of attorneys. Amy has been involved in numerous product launches throughout her tenure, public relations efforts, interviewing customers and telling their stories, and often writes and distributes information on legal practice management.
6 Quick Tips To Help You Focus And Maximize Time republished via Above the Law
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