#and 2. the genuinely seriously creepy kind written by maladjusted ppl that makes me sick to my stomach when im unfortuante enough

[rpfisfine]

(hi im back I got scared bc I worried I'd focused too much on myself in my last ask and the demons took over Help) idk why im shocked that there aren't any fics unique to wattpad I dont think the boyboy following is a wattpad bunch we're all old pretentious fucks (endearing). I rly hope they're cool with fics,,, i hope they Get It,,, that would be really sick. they've surprised me before, they can do it again!

you ARE being brave holy shit if I was in your position I think I'd shit myself to DEATH this tension is killing me but I agree your fics are so well written like they're rpf but more importantly they're really good??? truly moving?? literary even??? and i have hope that they'll appreciate that too

- 🌵

HIIIIIIIIIII noooooooo omg not at all!!! its just that ive genuinely sucked ass at answering asks in general since the dawn of time and in the past couple of weeks i have gotten more asks than ive ever received before in my entire life LOL plus my memory is shit so if i dont answer Immediately i forget ive even been sent anything in the first place and its just this whole thing but me not responding wasnt caused by anything you did in the slightest i LOVE getting asks from you!!!

god i literally know it makes complete sense but at the same time it surprised me as well maybe wattpad rly isnt what i remember it being anymore maybe it has fallen off in a pretty major way since 2014..... dude i literally cannot exaggerate how much i want that to be true LOL i rly rly rly hope they are too like i know logically they wouldnt be making the video if they werent but still...... tbh aleksa does strike me as someone who has legitimately written self insert fanfiction abt him & alex in the past so. i think there's some hope for us (joking obvs. unless..)

im gonna be real there hasnt been one moment in the past couple of days where i wasnt shitting and pissing and vomiting myself to death i literally wake up in cold sweat nowadays expecting my inbox to be flooded w anons being like DUDE THE VIDEO IS OUT FHFGNG.. like its BAD the tension is kiling me as well. ohhhhhmy god stop you guys are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo niceys to me i cant believe it..... god.....them apprer . them Complim , them ap- i cant even say it . is something i genuinely honestly cannot even begin to think abt like you guys r being so brave and normal abt this and r trying to comfort me constantly and i just feel like i havent made any mental progress at all since the day of the fateful discovery LOL like ever since i learned its not gonna be posted to their patreon w roughly 5000 subscibers like i hoped but instead to their yt channel with 800k+ subscibers i have been trying even Harder to gaslight myself into thinking my fics somehow wont make it into the video bc when i like sit down and make a serious attempt to entertain the possibility of 800k ppl potentially seeing my writing its just . Like my brain legitimately shuts down. i just cannot physically or mentally comprehend that number at all its not REAL!!!! to me!!!!!! get me out of here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<33333333333333333 #i rly need to like get over myself already and stop being so dramatic abt this whole thing like maybe its literally fine . #i cant rly explain my general issue in a way that doesnt make me sound like an asshole but i guess it all boils down to the fact that #with my black and white autistic as shit thinking i consider there to be only 2 major types of rpf #1. the like . normal wholesome cute lighthearted G-rated kind that revolves around them going to the grocery store or sth #and 2. the genuinely seriously creepy kind written by maladjusted ppl that makes me sick to my stomach when im unfortuante enough #to encounter it in the wild #& because i for some reason dont consider my writing to fall into the 1st category (even though some of it probably still technically does) #i automatically freak out over it potentially sharing some similarities w the 2nd kind which i KNOW like logically know isnt true. #and in fact its what exists in the vague middle that is the most popular kind of rpf and can range from Bad to seriously impressive #and i guess literary to use your analogy. and like. maybe thats fine. maybe my worst offense is having written a couple of thousand words #abt them having sex. and maybe they can handle that. #asks #cactus anon #sorry for how obscenely disgustingly disturbingly long this is holy shit i need to relax. but i think ive FINALLY articulated what i mean