#and I kinda miss June but I get they had to condense the book and some of the characters

[fandom-necromancer]

Questions for you (if you're ok answering): what is your favorite fic that you've written and what is your favorite that you've read of somebody else's

Okay, first of all: I love getting questions! I just tend to overshare so I hope that’s okay XD That’s a hard one, though. For one because I have a shit memory, but also because there are so many and I can’t decide. So, this will likely get long and I’ll put it under the cut not to disturb people that aren’t interested!

Shorts

My favourite one I wrote lately was likely the Cyberpunk AU for the Secret Santa? Because I could write whatever I wanted really and it was the first one in a long, long time that I sat down, had no idea what to write, began writing, was sucked in and a few hours later I was sitting there with a story that I absolutely loved. And that has become such a rare occasion lately because nothing is really fun anymore because Corona keeps me in a constant down phase? Idk. That was cool.

Also, the “A little distraction” series was fun! It’s an old story from last year and when I reuploaded that one, I was blown away how many people wanted more of that. As this had been planned for a longer story initially I had to condense into a short, it made me happy too, because people would have liked to read the longer version too, maybe? If I had ever written it? It was just really cool.

The Halloween short with Gavin being an eldritch shadow monster most people overlook completely was fun also because of the same reason as the Cyberpunk AU. I got lost in that one so hard. Really fun to write.

My all-time favourite short story  though is likely the pebble series. It started as a joke in my head but when I sat down to write it, it just felt natural. I kinda really projected on Nines in there and I think I like his personality there the most from all the fics I’ve written about him. They are both just really cute in there.

You can also look for the top ten stories in my opinion from last year’s anniversary if you search my blog in the tag #One Year of Stories and I think the real tag was something like #Last year revisited? I’m not sure though because tumblr and searching blog tags is horrible, hence the archive project XD. Should be around June 2020.

Big stories

I would say A Soldiers Purpose, but that doesn’t count as it isn’t a fic anymore while I rewrite it to be an original Story. Plan to publish that as a “real world” book in German and English hard copy as well as eBook and it should be international publishing? I’m not that sure as I’m still comparing self-publishers and some only serve Germany, US and Australia whats weird but okay. Although I believe with ISBN it should be available almost everywhere just not in stores? I always planned to have it ready before I finished my bachelor thesis but we will see if that is happening (I guess not but I will try). 

The Werewolf AU, definitely. It started as a vent fic to get me out of a really bad place (I guess anyone who read Somebody to die for knows it’s pretty dark) and I mean I’m here now and while I’m not happy I’m definitely happier than when I wrote it so... win? But now that I’m writing Wolfheart I really want to give them a happy ending and hopefully once that story ends the whole personal reason I started writing it ends too, so yeah. Maybe a really personal reason but I’m really invested in that story.

My favourite fic I have ever, ever written though will be one you never get to read (thankfully, hopefully). It’s super old, it’s German, it’s uploaded on a different platform I hope no one of you knows, it’s under yet another name of mine and it’s absolutely objectively bad. The writing is bad, the plot is okayish and I literally killed off the gay characters without noticing that as something bad because I was a very different person back then. But I love it to this day regardless because it got me through some hard times.

Also, as a last comment to my own stories I love my longer stories on AO3 far more than these shorts. Not because they are more fun to write or anything but because I feel like I put a lot of effort into them and put a lot of soul into the stories. But yeah, that’s to that.

Other’s works

My favourite fics I read are so, so damn many… I generally write more than I read but with the amount I write I guess it cancels it out. Also some are pretty old because I mostly read fanfic on the bus and now I haven’t really left the house for a year. I’ll try to keep it short. They are not in any particular order I just went through a few sites of my history. Really I just enjoy everything reverseAU, SoulmateAU, Mute!Nines and them all being softies. Also just the dbh stuff because I’m not sure you would be interested in other fandoms.

Accident by sv926 Soulmate AU, I really dig how the personality of Nines and Gavin are displayed and that it isn’t a “We are soulmates all is perfect now” storyline (although I like that too). Amazing.

Traitor by Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine If hurt/comfort was a fic. MedieavalAU. I really love the portrayal of manipulation and how Nines tries to save Gavin from it all. Also Nines is a painter so I’m in.

Soft Spot by Headfulloffantasy A story I really regret not reading earlier. Casefic with amazing characterisation and a plot that leaves you on the edge. Every time you think you got an overview of what happened or an idea of how it continues there is another facette revealed that you just didn’t expect. Can’t wait to read the next chapter.

XVIII by Sandara Cuteness overload but also prepare for the feels. It’s an ReverseAU that is set during the game events. It’s so damn well written I just love it.

Feral Nines by Kaini Nines whump. Kinda. I love it so much. Broken Nines is my weakness and also Mute!Nines. You get a lot of feelings reading this.

all the lonely nights in your life by  willgrahamssadness SoulmateAU that hurts but picks you up and shows you all the fluff in the end. I love it.

Safe and sound by a_calipygian Soft Reed900. With a lot of hurt/comfort. Lovely story about healing and found family. 

The Lion Tamer by celexdraw Equally cute as their drawings. CircusAU I didn’t know I needed but it is so well done. It is a happy story but has enough darkness to make me miss my busstop.

Despite it All by Jennilah Another SoulmateAU I absolutely love. Also has Hannor content I think but I didnt get to read that part yet.

Scrapyard Rookie by Pence Reverse AU that caught my heart. Really cute but with a little bastard GV if I remember correctly.

Sleeves by BloodthirstyMerc More Mute!Nines talking about Gavin’s past self harm. Super cute and comforting and aaaaa.

These Violent Delights by MechanicalBones Will absolutely destroy you. Is amazing and everything I ever wanted. Can recommend to those who too enjoy holding back tears on the bus.

Static Truth and Hunter Hunter Hunted by whatsanapocalae Both are super cute, super angsty and so, so comforting. The author has a really nice writing style too. Got to these fics because i wrote their Deus Ex stuff and discovered they write dbh too.

Rewind the Film by connorssock,Sylvestia Allen60. You will cry. And you will like it. I’m happy it was like 11pm on a bus  no one uses coming home from uni when I came to the part that hits you right in the feels. You have to read it.

Heavy In Your Arms by CatiDono More ReverseAU with Gavin whump. It’s also kinda a reset story. I usually don’t like these, but it starts after the reset so we never get to see the Gavin from before, just the onset of “I used to be a person before and there is someone loving me and grieving but I don’t know them but they are nice what do I do?” I really enjoyed this, although it’s kinda a heavy thing to read.

A mute Gavin one I can’t remember who or where it was from. I think it was on tumblr and timewise before the cornpocalypse but I’m not sure. Could be from connorssock? definitely on tumblr and Gavin lost his voice due to injury. I will try to find that again.

Also one from tumblr I can’t remember the name of, but it was homeless Gavin with Nines helping him. I think that one was from dumb-ways-to-deviate?

I could go on, but I already told far to much when you asked for like... 2 stories? I’m just excited to talk about stories XD

#Toaster Talks #oh boy I'm thinking about deleting half of it but I will hit post now because i spent too much time doing this #fic rec #dbh fic rec #my personal favourites #I have a lot more but aaaaaaaaaaaa

[nadziejastar]

—In KH BbS, Master Xehanort's goal behind opening Kingdom Hearts was to "create a new world." But in this game, he says it is to "reset the world." Why the difference?

Nomura: What was revealed in this game was another piece of the truth: his goal was "this world is no longer any good, and we have to recreate it from scratch."

—We are interested in why Xehanort would come to such a conclusion.

Nomura: At first, I did want to use a next game to dig down into how Xehanort went from that simple boy playing the chess-like game to an admirer of the darkness. But, if I do that, then the Dark Seeker Chronicle wouldn't have ended with KH3 after all (laughs.) Some ideas had solidified to a degree, but it's shelved for now.

Definitely. He was handled horribly. Even the interviewer didn’t know why Xehanort acted the way he did. You know your story is messed up when the main villain’s motivations are a big question mark at the end, lol. He desperately needed a fleshed out backstory, just like Lea, Isa, and so many other characters. 

The basic concept of Xehanort seemed to be summed up by the above quote. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Nomura actually had that famous quote in mind while writing Xehanort’s character. It IS about darkness, after all. I feel kinda bad that Nomura gets bashed for how Xehanort was handled when that clearly was not his intention. People think he planned it that way. “Lol, silly Nomura”. But he said he wanted to explore Xehanort’s past.

— About the World of Darkness and such, you haven’t gone into detail. Could you possibly talk about some of these things? Does the beach at the beginning and end of KH II have some connection to the World of Darkness?

Presently there are 4 main untold stories to consider: “the period of the King’s absence”, “the period of Riku’s absence”, “Roxas’s time in Organization XIII” and “Xehanort’s past”. In this case, the story of “the period of the King’s absence” is set in the realm of darkness. I am examining a way to tell these 4 stories so I might be able to find a way to tell them soon. —Another Report KH2FM+

In fact, he had plans for this ever since KH2FM+. Now, he could have changed Xehanort’s final scenes to be more consistent with what the players actually saw: a relatively one-dimensional evil megalomaniac. But he chose to leave it the way it was---Xehanort was trying to bring about a world of light---because he considered it the “truth”, even if it made no sense to us players. He did that with the other Xehanorts, too. 

To me, that speaks to his level of frustration over how the story was handled. I believe if Nomura had his way, he would have explored ALL the stuff from 0.5 in the next game, after KH3. But he wasn’t allowed to do that because the Dark Seeker Saga needed to be over with KH3. It was out of his hands. I’m glad he left it the way it was because it makes it easier to see his intentions for the story.

 — Mr. Nomura, since you are the one that is writing the scenario this time, how is the progress coming along?

Since we are arriving near the conclusion of Xehanort in KINGDOM HEARTS III, the outline of the story has been solidified but not necessarily the direction where the KINGDOM HEARTS series is continuing to head. We are still trying to decide where to go from several choices.

— What is that specifically?

In the KINGDOM HEARTS series, I don’t think there has been an actual happy ending. KINGDOM HEARTS II is close to it. Since most of the titles have ended in cliffhangers, we’re worried about what we should include in KINGDOM HEARTS III. —Dengeki Playstation June 2015

When I would try to talk about some of this stuff on other forums people would get so defensive. Who was I to question Nomura’s vision, blah blah blah. But there’s so much evidence that KH3 did NOT actually follow Nomura’s vision. That is my biggest complaint. KH3 is a botched game with a troubled development history, that suffered from extensive executive meddling. Even as late as summer 2015, two years after the game was announced, they were unsure of the direction the series was headed. But Nomura wanted a true happy ending for the first time, without cliffhangers... 

Can you tell us about the meaning of 0.2’s title, “Fragmentary Passage? As far as content goes, we can’t include a full volume of content to play with like the second chapter of KHBbS, so it’s just a “fragment,” and we left that part of the subtitle. 0.5 is one of the letters and numbers that appeared in the secret episode of KHBbS FM, and that meant full volume, so we decided on 0.2 this time, to indicate that there will be more content to come. However, the remaining passage will be told in KHIII, so we wanted to show that this production is closely related to KHIII. —Dengeki Playstation September 2015

And as late as September 2015, only a couple of months after saying that, Nomura said there were actual PLANS to incorporate the lost story of 0.5 into KH3, albeit in a condensed manner. Of course, we all know that didn’t happen. It appears there was a very last minute change of plans to just throw out all the unused concepts from 0.5 and rewrite the story to eliminate all connection to them. 

That’s why the plot was switched to instead focus on sequel-baiting and Union X characters. Those things are mostly irrelevant to the Xehanort Saga, so it didn’t matter if KH0.5 was cancelled. But that wasn’t the original plan. This is why it is my sincere belief that Nomura was very upset with how the story of KH3 turned out. And I don’t blame him one bit.

“I actually don’t sympathize or empathize with Sora at all,” Nomura says. Instead, he relates to the game’s mysterious villains, Xehanort or likely Ansem, anyone who’s fallen prey to their dark natures. “I think I’m closer to those characters, so Sora is like my enemy,” he says.

I think Xehanort’s backstory was going to paint him in a very different light, otherwise he never would have gotten such a warm ending scene with Eraqus. Nomura said that he could relate more to a character like Xehanort than Sora, so I am led to believe he was going to be a character with many shades of gray. KH3 Sora was obnoxiously black-and-white, which is why I think Nomura disliked him so much. I also don’t think that was Nomura’s original vision.

Xehanort: So...you know the “Lost Masters”?

Eraqus: Who?

Xehanort: They’re the ones who started the Keyblade War.

Eraqus: Never heard of ‘em. Where’d you hear about that?

Xehanort: Or...they’re the ones for whom the war started.

Eraqus: I’m not following you.

Xehanort: You can drop the facade.

My opinion is that when Xehanort was young, he got involved with a secret society with access to knowledge that was kept from the general population. Stuff involving the Keyblade War, the Book of Prophecies, etc. Scala ad Caelum is very Freemason-y. The name Stairway to Heaven is a concept in Masonry. This was supposed to be an actual explorable world. There was a trailer shown off at a private event, that was never made public. But it actually showed Sora visiting this town. Of course, after the "alterations” made to KH3′s story, this town was eliminated and the trailer was never mentioned again. This town was tied to the Recusant’s Sigil and all the missing lore KH0.5 would have delved into, so I guess it wasn’t needed anymore.

Ansem: Take a look at this tiny place. To the heart seeking freedom this is a prison surrounded by water. And so this boy sought out to escape from his prison. He sought a way to cross over into other worlds. And he opened his heart to darkness.

Sora: Riku!

Ansem: Don’t bother. Your voice can no longer reach him where he is. His heart belongs again to darkness. All worlds begin in darkness, and all so end. The heart is no different.

After learning the hidden knowledge, he felt like he had to start the world anew. He became obsessed with darkness. We never even learned how Xehanort left Destiny Islands. My guess is that he had such a strong will and desire to leave the islands, he opened a dark corridor. He didn’t have anything to protect him. He just went into it and arrived at another world. 

Our Master instructed us to don armor while traveling between worlds, so that we might shield ourselves from the darkness. But there, in the Lanes Between, I could feel the force of it—the power—and from then on, I forwent my armor's "protection." I had been told the darkness would devour me, but what terrors could it possibly hold, so long as I found the strength to control it?

The experience seems to have given him the confidence that he didn’t need protection from darkness. 

At present, the lanes and corridors that run between the worlds may only be traversed by us Keyblade wielders, and those who have given themselves over to darkness. As the former, our duty is to cross the chasms between worlds and guard against the latter, whose darkness corrupts and contaminates, so that no world need ever be lost again. Few Keyblade wielders remain now; I have heard of but a handful of others outside my circle. But the World is vast, and more of our kind may be out there. Now, in addition to the realm of light in which we reside, there is also a realm of darkness, and the realm between which connects the two. The realm of darkness is most forbidden; I am told none who set foot there have ever returned.

He didn’t seem particularly evil as a kid or anything. Just very intelligent and cynical about the world. But he seemed charming and likable. Eraqus obviously had a great deal of affection for him, which blinded him from seeing his true motives until it was too late.

That’s where the whole story began…as did the glitches. And for good reason—because nothing ever happens by chance in our stories. Everything is connected. This is where someone else set off on a journey, too, long ago. Does this world feel small to you, Sora? Or does it feel large? Who will be the one to unravel the secrets of this world—of the Destiny Islands?

I’m sure he was possessed. We never even learned how Xehanort got golden eyes and pointy ears. Maybe Xehanort was simply the first vessel.

THE MAN’S BLACK CLOAK FLUTTERED BEHIND HIM as he marched forward.

The present, the past, the future.

Human, Heartless, Nobody.

Xehanort, Ansem, Xemnas.

His plans had already advanced past the point of no return.

With Demyx’s demise, the group calling itself Organization XIII had lost more than half of its members.

Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Marluxia, Larxene, Demyx. And Roxas.

All the fallen ones—do they bear a grudge against me?

But they were Nobodies. They had no hearts with which to hold any ill will. They couldn’t even understand what the heart is.

Nomura said there was something like a beacon inside Xehanort, guiding him where to go and what to do, even if he wasn’t quite sure of it himself.

Somewhere in this cyclical history of bequeathings, a chosen one will appear and reenact the Keyblade War. When this scapegoat arrives and takes my Keyblade in hand, this will be the time to take the stage and finish my role. The Lost Masters will awaken.—Unknown

I don’t know if the Lost Masters were always meant to return. But I definitely think Xehanort was always meant to be just a pawn in somebody else’s game.

“Students do take after their teachers. Any apprentice of yours would be a fool,” Xemnas sneered, then raised his eyes to the light of Kingdom Hearts. “After all, none of this would have happened without you. It was you who brought the Heartless into being. Your research inspired me to go further than you ever dared.”

You saved me when I wandered without memories—or rather, saved Xehanort, Xemnas added to himself. 

If you hadn’t found me that day and helped me… If you hadn’t been studying the mysteries of the heart… Things would never have come to this.

Does that mean it was all inevitable? Or is someone’s will at work? A will greater than ours…?

This was the plan for a long time, because even the novels allude to it. It annoys me when people try to say the novels can’t be taken seriously. They wrote about Xemnas’s regret over his fallen comrades YEARS in advance. They were obviously written with knowledge of the whole story in mind.

It almost sounded like Xemnas was angry with Ansem for being the catalyst that started him on his path. He said he was past the point of no return, as if he was only continuing on with his plan because he couldn’t turn back even if he wanted to.

“I admit, my recklessness brought chaos to more worlds than one. But what is it you were seeking?” Ansem demanded. He was asking the shell of his former apprentice, though he might ask the same question of himself. “You erased me from this world only to take my name and continue research better left forgotten… And is this the answer you’ve been after?”

“Indeed. I am carrying on what you began, creating a new world brick by brick—heart by heart.”

But even as Xemnas said it, he wondered. Really? Is it really what I sought?

The inexorable pull of Kingdom Hearts, so strong that even he no longer understood what he’d first been seeking, and the longing for the heart he had lost… But what was a heart?

What I lost when I became a Nobody…I don’t even know what it is.

He didn’t even know what it was he was after. 

He concentrated his frustration back on Ansem. “Once I thought I’d earn your praise. But all you’ve ever done is hold me back. I understand—unlike me, you have a heart. And you are powerless to control it. Consumed by your jealousy of the student who surpassed his teacher.”

Ansem sadly shook his head.

That young scientist who had once shown so much promise in the town of Radiant Garden—where had he gone? Was this what it meant to lose one’s heart? Or…had he never had one to begin with?

It’s...sad.

“Hey, do you fellas think that maybe the journal is trying to tell us something?” Goofy wondered. What exactly was going on with this little book?

Whatever Xehanort was being used by, it was heavily connected to the Demon Tide.

“The world is aching?” What exactly did “the world” refer to? Maybe it meant the world they were seeing on the monitor now was in pain. “Not just ‘the’ world. ‘Our’ world…” Jiminy seemed to have the same questions.

We never actually learned what was meant by the world’s aching. Who’s world?

“…Can’t you hear the world’s screams?”

“Screams?”

Axel finally turned around, and looked up at Saïx standing on a stairway.

“The time when we should move will come soon.”

“I dunno, whatever.” Axel turned his back on Saïx, and opened a dark portal in front of him.

Saïx could actually hear the world’s screams, probably because Isa was one of those people who needed their hurting mended. I’ll bet that Xehanort was one of those people as well. 

Ansem the Wise: That light of the heart that everyone had when they were a child - simple, honest thoughts - that is the strength of a pure heart, in which Sora believes and cannot doubt. If someone feels a heart there, a heart exists. Even if a heart is lost, maybe it can once again be connected. Up to this point, he has felt, accepted, and saved many hearts. And now the many hearts that sleep within Sora’s heart have fallen into darkness, been stolen by darkness, sleep in darkness. The hearts dissolved in Sora – to save them, you must act as Sora has up until now, move forward as a heart in order to succeed. His thoughts are the only way. Or to be precise, what is within them. 

If I had to guess how I think Xehanort’s plot would have been handled that was consistent with the Dark Seeker Saga’s themes, it would be this: After Xehanort was defeated, his heart was lost in the darkness. Maybe he couldn’t handle the pain of his defeat. Or maybe it was because he was possessed all along.

Ansem: You see, darkness is the heart’s true essence.

Sora: That’s not true! The heart may be weak. And sometimes it may even give in. But I’ve learned that deep down, there’s a light that never goes out!

Sora, a person who possesses an extraordinary degree of love for other people, actually decided to use the power of waking on him rather than just snatch the X-Blade from him and call it a day. He genuinely wanted to save him. Sora was able to believe that deep down, there was a light that never went out, even in someone as immersed in darkness as Xehanort. 

Those simple and honest thoughts enabled Sora to connect with Xehanort’s heart, reminding him of what it felt like to love and be loved, like when he was a child. He was able to reunite with his beloved friend Eraqus, and decided to give Sora the X-Blade of his own free will. Not because of Sora’s amazing ability at persuasion. But because Sora showed him love. That is what made Ansem choose Sora in the first place.

#kh3 #kh xehanort #kh xemnas #KH Eraqus #kh

[post-itpenny]

June

Part one of things. This actually takes place in the not so distant past. Tagging both @clownsgobeepbeep and @grotesquegabby since some of yours are here.

Magpie was born in June on the first day of summer.

There was something about this that felt special to her, more so than anything else about what made Magpie who she was.

The longest day of the year was hers.

When she woke up on her birthday the sky was dark and it was pouring rain.

Magpie stepped out wrapped in a robe and watched the raindrops fall. She smiled and snapped her fingers.

The rain slowed to a stop, water droplets suspended in the air.

They moved aside like curtains as Magpie walked. She snapped her fingers again as she raised a foot, the air seemed to almost condense into a solid thing that she could place her weight on. She took another step up and the same thing happened again. Up an invisible staircase until she was level with the second story of her home. Magpie sat down on the top stair and looked out at the view around her. Above the sky tumbled as if irritated she had halted the storm’s progression.

Magpie made a cup of warm tea appear and took in the silence of the backyard.

She had tamed the poisonous plants into nice arrangements, being sure to have fences just high enough that Trouble could not get to them and the girls always know what was unsafe. It was rather pretty back here now. Inside Magpie could hear someone bustling around the kitchen. Maggie making breakfast for them all no doubt.

It was nice. A quiet moment just for her, Magpie had never been one for a lot of fuss on her birthday. Just allowing the day itself to feel special. Her parents tried throwing parties when she was little but it just always felt awkward, as if no one really wanted to be there. She certainly did not.

On her birthday Magpie recalled, one birthday was the day she had her first crush.

Her brother’s best friend Casper. He had given her a gift, a book of fairytales. He was so sweet about it and Magpie had been at an age where she was too shy to deal with such things. She blushed like mad and the room heated up.

She was too shy to talk to Casper for months afterwards though she did take to growing his favorite flowers all over the place whenever he visited. He laughed but was still sweet to her about it and soon her crush shifted to loving Casper like a second brother.

Magpie swallowed, her throat painfully tight. Casper was dead now. She missed him so much, but it was her fault.

Magpie took a very long gulp of tea in an attempt to clear her head of bad memories when she heard a loud gasp.

Magpie turned to see Brie looking out her bedroom window and grinning with excitement. “Wow oh wow! You’re floating!”

Magpie smiled and walked through the air towards the window, hand extended. “Would you like to walk down this way?”

Brie shook her head vigorously but as she climbed out the window she became nervous, clinging tightly to the window frame and looking down at the ground.

“It’s ok I promise, I won’t let you fall.”

Brie gripped onto Magpie’s arm for deal life as the two descended an invisible staircase. Brie stumbling a little as they touched the ground but delighted nonetheless. Shouting up to her sister who had poked her head out the window to see what was happening.

“Honey! Did you see?!”

Honey nodded, “yeah. That was cool.” Then quickly pulled the window shut.

Magpie smiled sadly, the poor girl was hurting this she knew. She just needed time.

It was after breakfast and taking Trouble for his morning walk Magpie went on to meet James, the two had been getting along well and he the two had decided to meet for tea.

Along the way she passed a nightclub, sound already pouring out the door and windows despite it being too early for that kind of thing.

Magpie pauses and leaned against the wall of the building across the street. Was this not the club owned by her friend Alex? Was he friend or acquaintance it was a bit hard to tell after the last meeting.

Magpie closed her eyes at the flashing lights that came from the front door. A little too dazzling for her still sensitive eyes.

Dazzling, that was the word for her. Draped in gold sequins and smokey eyes that took in everything with a smirk. The second time was when Magpie was a teenager and old enough to be overwhelmed by someone’s beauty. Her heart fluttering as the shining image floated around the room.

One of the fox twins (was it Vega?) giggled, “that’s my aunt you’re making that face at. It’s kinda weird.”

Magpie ran out the room at the awkwardness of it. Hearing the trill of a golden laugh as she did so.

Magpie opened her eyes as the feeling of her face burning with the memory. Holding her hand over her eyes as she groaned.

She recalled Vega apologizing later, she also recalled learning just because someone was beautiful not mean they were nice.

Magpie sighed as she walked on, perhaps after tea her mood would improve enough for a place so full of music and life like this.

Tea with James was just as lovely as expected. He pet hamster sat on the table with him, munching on one sunflower seed after another.

“Such a cute little creature! What was his name again?”

“It’s Reggie,” James answered with a sip of tea. “He is quite the adorable fellow. The idea of having a pet was rather thrilling but I was happy to find such a sweet animal like a hamster.”

They discussed summer plans and books they had recently. Though still cloudy it had stopped raining and had made for a wonderful afternoon.

“By the way, happy birthday! Did you not feel like having a big celebration then?”

Magpie blinked in surprise, “thank you but how did you know it was my birthday?”

James smiled, “ah yes well, I was running errands yesterday when I ran into a friend of yours. He asked me to pass along birthday wishes as well.”

“A friend?”

“Yes, your friend Jack.”

Magpie nearly dropped her tea cup, body growing numb as a coldness washed over her. She quickly stood up. “thank you so much for a nice afternoon but I’m afraid I need to be going.”

Magpie rushes out leaving James confused as to what had happened, then noticing the loud crash of thunder outside.

Magpie walked with purpose, the wind picking up and lightning flashing. None of this touched her however, as if she was a world away from it all.

The third time it was Jack. He had come to visit on her brother’s request. A lavish party that he was the life of and noticed her clinging to the walls in uncertainty. He insisted on dancing with her. Magpie looked at her feet nervously, “I’m terrible at dancing.”

Jack grinned, “well so am I! Come make a fool of ourselves on the dance floor together. It’s not every night I get to dance with a beautiful girl!”

Beautiful?

Was he referring to her?

Everything Jack said and did made her feel special, feel wanted.

How could she ever say no to him?

Magpie trudged back passed the nightclub. It’s doors shut with so few people wanting to visit during terrible weather. “Sorry Alex,” Magpie muttered, “I’ll make it up to you.”

She would have to explain to James at some point, goodness knows he did not deserve her rudeness. But the thought of explaining made her shudder in both dread and exhaustion.

The wind turned cold, as if summer had ended. Magpie returned home and laid down in her bed, staring at the ceiling.

There would be no fourth time, she told herself. How could there be?

[moonfireflight]

“sweet and pure asks”

I was tagged by @flowersofsakura

Original one made by @bwabies

🐰- do you believe in soul mates?

Yes!

💌- diary or journal?

I sometimes journal on another site but it’s all private. 

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?

Before the Homestuck epilogues I would have said Jane Crocker but fuck that. Uuuhhh I haven’t really found a character that makes me go “it’s me!” I probably shouldn’t say Toko Fukawa huh? 

💕- are you crushing on someone?

No one 3D. 

💋- kissing in the dark or kissing in the rain?

Kissing in the rain. 

🐝- describe your aesthetic in emojis

Oh I’ll edit and do this later on mobile. If I forget it’s autumn stuff, cats, and books. 

(Leaving that because it was amusing)

📚😻👀🐉🌿🍁🍂🍃🌠🍵🍯

🍼- what is your favorite memory?

My first kiss with my guy. We had been crushing on each other for 2 years and not realizing it was mutual. 

🌸- what is your favorite flower?

Night Sky Petunias. 

💖- have you ever been in love?

Yes!

🍰- strawberry or vanilla?

Strawberry!

🍯- describe your favorite smell

Rainy evenings here in the desert with a hint of sage or pine on the wind. 

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?

Enough money to take care of my friends who are in abusive situations. A magical car that can never break down. -mumble mumble Saeyoung mumble-

🍪- cookie dough or cookies?

Cookies. I like the cronch. 

☕- coffee or tea?

Tea. I love tea so much. My cabinet is a deathtrap of tea boxes. 

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?

Forest. My therapy calm place is a forest with faeries. 

🍂- what’s your middle name?

Beth

💫- what is your sun, moon, and rising sign?

Sun : Gemini, Moon : Leo, Rising sign : Sagittarius 

🌧️- favorite thing to do on rainy days?

Curl up in bed with tea and my phone, listening to rain on the skylight. 

🍭- how tall are you?

5′6″ 

💒- which show would you want to live in?

Uuuh huurr I can’t think of a good one but some show’s world where I can learn magic and there’s monsters. Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Lol. God, I don’t watch much TV.  Maybe FMA because I’m also moderately obsessed with alchemy. 

🎄- what is your favorite holiday?

Halloween, no doubt. 

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

I had some kind of musky vanilla thing with a hint of spice that I loved. Also I have one with a wooden wick and it smells like a campfire 

🎶- favorite song right now?

Hmm I’ve been wanting to finally check out all the hype on Kpop and Spotify gave me “Gotta Go” by CHUNG HA and it’s so damn good??? 

💘- 3 ways to win your heart?

Being kind to animals (especially if my pets instantly love/trust you). Making me laugh. Food and/or headpats. 

🍩- current mood?

Glad my weekend started. 

❄️- what is your favorite season?

Autumn! I feel so much more alive then and the air feels like it crackles with magic. 

💍- your current relationship status?

Taken. I’ve been with my guy for 15 years. 

📷- a photo of yourself

Nope. Just imagine I’m a chunky curvy girl with dyed red hair and glasses kinda like Saeyoung’s (same shape/color but more of a tortoise shell pattern than stripes). 

🎀- any question you want

I like cake more than pie. 

💅🏻- do you like being spoiled?

That would be so nice. 

🕊️- 3 habits you have?

Obsessively checking social media for no real reason. I guess I don’t want to miss out on nice art and randomness. As soon as I get home I ditch my shoes and change to PJ pants. I have some minor OCD issues like picking at chin hairs. 

🦄- how do you perceive yourself?

An anxious bean, creative-minded, pretty smart. 

🦋- how do you think others perceive you?

A normal person, and a lot softer than I am. Literal “don’t say that in front of her virgin ears” jokes have been made about me as an adult. Helpful. Smarter than I really am because I’m good at researching, though I will admit that is a valid skill. 

🌈- things I find attractive in girls /guys

Sense of humor, intelligence, somewhat philosophical, glasses, nice hands. 

🍓- one secret about yourself

I mean, writing smut is my “big secret”. How about... I believe in magic and spirits and such and have spent a lot of time in my life studying topics like this. 

🍒- how do you act when you have a crush?

Blushing and giddy. Everything makes me blush even when I’m not crushing so I’m a freaking disaster. I do have some minor tsundere tendencies when crushing, mostly out of defense to cover the embarrassed dolt mode. 

💔- the reason behind your last breakup?

He was taking me for granted and hurting my self esteem, and I found out that my crush of two years was crushing back. 

💬- what your last text message says?

"Condensed princesses xD”  (wow, lucked into a really weird one there, huh?)

🎥- what show are you currently binging on?

Just finished BNHA. Gave up on “You” (I thought it was going to be good yandere content but I hate everyone in it). Gotta finish either RWBY or Voltron with @turbopuppy (CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED ON THIS MEME). Kinda half watching The Dragon Prince. So, technically, nothing. 

⛅- what is your morning routine?

Stay in bed until the last possible second. Feed my cat and give her insulin. Dress and brush hair and grab a Belvita breakfast cookie on the way out the door. I recently decided to try out bangs so now I have to wrangle those bastards into cooperation somewhere in there. 

💗- who do you miss?

The friend who got made my guy and I realized our mutual affection. She did an awesome job of meddling. She moved away and we drifted apart. 

🥀- last time you cried?

Sometime last week when writing fanfic or reading it  - I don’t remember which. Saeyoung feels happened. 

🎁- when is your birthday?

Early June (soon!!!). 

🔪- scariest/creepiest experience?

My boyfriend and I were driving back home from a vacation and decided to take a shortcut through a place called “Devil’s Pass” at night because we are idiots, apparently. It passed by a few ghost towns, but was mostly a forested road. We both saw some very odd things, like a skinned bunny with a round mouth of sawblade-like teeth, and humanoid shapes. Not cool. Also about a decade ago I had a coworker find out my friend and I believed in ghosts and such. He was renovating a building to become a B&B and had a feeling the place was haunted. We went together and picked up recordings of voices with our phones, and felt some really odd stuff there. I found this one patch of normal looking flat ground that made me feel like I was being sucked into a bottomless pit. The guy who bought the place pulled up some old info and it turned out there was a well buried in that spot.  

💤- date someone younger, older, or same age as you?

No preference. 

I don’t like tagging people because I have a bad memory and get anxious picking people over others. I love you all. If you do this, tag me :3

#ask meme #moonie speaks