#and Mr.G being the weird father figure that PJ didn’t ask for but secretly appreciates

[whomadewaffles]

Pjhazel incorrect qoutes Part 2!

this one feels more pj-centric so...sorry to the haters, but I think she's amazing so.

As last time, long post under the cut, sorry for not citing the sources, bad language and raunchy humour abound ect ect.. enjoy!

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Hazel: Pspspsps

Pj *walking over to her*: What are you doing idiot, trying to call a cat?

Hazel *frantically taking notes*: Holy shit it worked

*note: to me, Hazel is dog coded, and pj is very cat coded*

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*Hazel has a date with a girl at school, and pj is having a normal one about it*

Josie *gasps*:...You're JEALOUS!

Pj *clearly jealous*: I am NOT jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous - Because I'm not jealous!

josie: You're not making any sense.

Pj:  - Oh and all of a sudden you're the President of Things that Make Sense?!

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Pj *talking to Mr .G with the club about the next meeting or something*

Pj: Cool, thanks, dad

*everyone staring at her*

Pj: Why is everyone staring at me?

Isabel: You just called Mr .G “dad”.

Pj: *scoffs* No, I didn’t, I said thanks, man.

Mr G: Do you see me as a father figure, girl?

Pj: No! If anything, I see you as a bother figure cause you’re always bothering me.

Josie *not one to miss out on messing with her best friend a little*: Hey! Show your father some respect.

Pj: I didn’t call him dad!

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Hazel *carves "pj + Hazel" into a tree*

Pj: What a nerd.

Pj *adds "4ever"*

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Hazel: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Pj: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

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*Hiking*

Hazel: Mother nature is beautiful

Pj *panting trying to catch her breath*: MOTHER NATURE IS A WHORE!!!!

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Pj: relax, Principle meyers won’t be able to trace this back to us.

Josie: Are you for real? He traces everything back to us! He traces things we haven’t even done back to us!

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Pj: You're wearing make-up.

Hazel: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?

Pj: ... Looks okay... I guess.

*later*

Pj *freaking out to josie later*: she looked so good.

Josie: I know.

Pj: I'm so gay.

Josie: I know...

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Pj: Being horny 24/7 and a virgin is not for the weak.

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Hazel: Do you even have a self-care routine?

Pj: "Keep going bitch" said to myself in different accents.

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Pj : Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality.

Pj: I'm a gorgeous hot mess.

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Hazel: Sometimes I worry I'm being awkward, but then I remember it's half my charm, so I redouble my efforts immediately.

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Hazel: Things look a little tense.

Pj: Don't worry, I'm gonna open with a joke.

Hazel: Please don't.

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Pj: But now they come for my girl?

Pj: My sweet, defenseless hazel?

Hazel: ...

Hazel: …I know how to make bombs.. I have 16 taekwondo medals, and I'm the best fighter in the club?! I killed someone with a football helmet?!

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Pj: Good news! I didn’t screw up!

Hazel: …

Pj: I screwed up less badly than usual!

Hazel: …

Pj: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual

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Pj: *drunk and hitting HEAVILY on Hazel*

Hazel *blushing*: Usually, I would love to take you up on the offer, pj, but you're too drunk to consent...

Stella-Rebecca: Aww, that's sweet, Hazel. I'm sure pj appreciates that you don't want to take advantage of her.

Pj: THE HELL I DO!

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*pj driving with hazel in the passenger seat*

Pj: I'd be really lost without you, Hazel.

Hazel: Pj! That's so sweet, I'd be lost without you aswell.

Pj: No, no, literally, where the fuck are we.

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Pj: Would you still love me?

Hazel: ...If what?

Pj: *voice cracking* No, that was the question..

*note: its pj's abandonment issues coming through*

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Pj: the power of women's history month is coursing through your veins

Mr.G: Women's histordeez nuts!

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*Warning: this is an ANGSTY one, my friends- don't worry, they work it out. As a sidenote; watch the scott pilgrim show if you haven't already. It's so good*

Pj: the truth is, I was too afraid to face you and my feelings

Hazel *angrily*: So you left without a word?!

Hazel: You made me feel like nothing.

Hazel: You we're afraid? Good for you!

Hazel: All I ever wanted was for you to see me.

Pj *holds back tears knowing she fucked up badly*

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Hazel: No, I'm not tired of being nice. Yes, I still just wanna go apeshit. These things can coexist, stop asking me.

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Hazel: my kink is saying something incredibly corny and watching you speed run the five stages of grief as you realize with horror you still want to fuck me.

Pj *pillow over her face*: I am begging you, Hazel, please get a new kink…

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Pj: Hazel figured out she can sneakily stick a note on someone’s back.

Pj: But she doesn’t know they should say things like “kick me”, so they just have cat facts on them.

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Hazel: You idiot!

Pj: I’m sure you’re right, but why?!

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Brittney: Can you come collect your freak of a girlfriend please, she's doing things

Hazel: No.

Hazel: I set her loose on purpose, she needed enrichment.

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Isabel: Ever since you started dating, you've become really nice and kind to Hazel. It's sweet

Pj: Well, duh, I'm not stupid. You don't bite the hand that fingers you, or whatever the saying is.

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Pj: I need bitches, how to I get bitches wise one 🙏🙏🙏

Rhodes: Well, first off, you gotta stop calling them that, girl.

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Pj: It's nice to see you again.

Hazel: Are you talking to my cooch?

Pj: Yes.

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Pj: Vulnerability is like so hard. If I told you anything sappy, Hazel, please know that I had to do hand to hand combat with seven layers of embarrassment, regression, and abandonment issues.

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Hazel: Pj, people love you and care about you whether you like it or not. I love you whether you like it or not. And no matter how hard you try to push me away, I'm not going anywhere. So just get used to it, okay?

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Pj: I guess I’m just a bad person.

Hazel: No, you’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person. But sometimes you can be a real asshole.

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#pjhazel #bottoms 2023 #pj bottoms #hazel callahan #incorrect quotes #some of my faves are on this one #like the one with Rhodes #and Mr.G being the weird father figure that PJ didn’t ask for but secretly appreciates