#and a germ-conscious boy toy. as a treat.

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Lee Dongsik’s Guide to Multitasking Your Personal Trauma, New Romantic Interest, and Murder Investigation(s) (Beyond Evil)

*headcanons and ideas set during and after canon*

1.) Trust no bitch. Especially the fussy, emotionally unstable, clingy, brave, smart, and irresistible kind. Pretend that you don’t have a type and that that type isn’t “socially awkward twink who hates how much he wants me”

2.) Uncooked noodles are a valid food group! Don’t listen to rich city boys who say otherwise.

3.) You have two remaining besties, codenames Sassy Sister and Shady Mister. You are on the fence to replace one with the local butcher, Sharpy Blister (this codename thing is admittedly limited), but you’re undecided.

4.) At one point you seriously consider leaving the basement door unlocked with a welcome mat in front of it, but even you aren’t even sure whether it would be a joke or sincere, plus it wouldn’t do to be too forward in this courtship. Mustn’t frighten away the timid hedgehog boy too soon. Lure him in with treats (possible murder clues). Good hedgehog boy. Sit and stay.

5.) A few months after you get out of prison, a reporter comes around town asking questions about the rumors around Minjeong that had been on TV at one time. Unfortunately, he stops to ask for directions to your house at the police station, where Officer Park Jihoon is happy to assist. Somehow his directions accidentally lead the reporter into the boggiest part of a reed field, which he is eventually rescued from (two hours later, as the neighbors in the surrounding area didn’t seem to hear him shrieking). Encourage professionalism among your former subordinates by giving Jihoonie an extra dinner serving that evening.

6.) Make peace with the fact that your new partner’s dad is, like, actually the worst case scenario father-in-law. If you can’t make peace with it, make war. Bonus points if you engineer shit so you get to homoerotically cuff his son (into custody, of course) in front of everyone.

7.) Break into Han Juwon’s flat at least once without ever leaving a trace. Take a selfie with the murderboard (adorable. oddly endearing. maybe you can frame it at the lake house?)

8.) Somewhere along the line, you realize that had circumstances been different, your whole family would have welcomed Han Juwon into their home and hearts. Try not to think too much about it.

9.) You watch Han Gihwan’s trials on a prison tv with a guard (24, recently married, anxious to talk to someone about becoming a father) and there is a tiny, brief, terrifying moment at one of Han Gihwan’s trials where a piece of incriminating evidence from a confidential source is revealed for maximum effect at just the right time to shock the courtroom—and it’s right at the moment the camera zooms in on Han Gihwan’s stunned face, because in that moment you’re focused on the blink-and-you-miss-it smirk on Kwon Hyuk’s face in the background and you think: oh god. There’s two of us.

10.) When in doubt, smile and flirt.

#whomst #beyond evil #jwds #yes I glossed over a lot of angst because Dongsik needs a break #and a germ-conscious boy toy. as a treat.