#and adding on classes wnere we had to rush everything for a few final credits

[odysseys-blood]

trying to give myself little grace about not feeling up to do anything at all for months when my entire last year of school i felt like i wanted to throw in the towel and kms daily and its probably that all that stress has just rebounded and needed time for me to process through it and feel it at a normal rate instead of super compounded daily but it still. barely helps because time doesnt stop for anyone and im just not supposed to have time to get myself together even if its smthn that should take me a long time

#like god they hated us huh #every other major and school were allowed time to work on their thesis and stuff before senior year and all ours #was supposed to be done senior year #not even the whole thing we were supposed to be done with the majority of it in the first semester #i wasin classss until 7 pm half the week and too exhausted to do anything after #and then havingnto set up and do our own gallery om top of that #and the pieces for it too #and it was jus. a constant barrage of stress and anxiety and i shut down easily #and i think im still feeling through the effect of that being an entire YEAR but i feel like im not allowed to #and i canf voice this to family bc im just gonna sound lazy #its. augh. #and adding on classes wnere we had to rush everything for a few final credits #bc teachers werent hired until halfway through the semester and then they still gave the whole semesters worth of work #and its like i dont like this i do wanna do smthn with my time #i wanna work its just #the worlds scary it feels like every day theres stuff that like #should be workd stoppjng but im supposed to just keep going #idk. idk