#and how fascinating it is that good ol jodi was honestly kind of shitty

[arolesbianism]

It is my new life purpose to add the most questionable song choices to the Jackie section of my oni playlist. Hey at least one of them is a rabbit universe Jackie song so I have sort of an excuse, but spoilers it's not keep your head up so uhhhhh lol

#rat rambles #oni posting #baby days is the rabbit universe one to be clear #oh and the other two are indeed abt canon jackie but in my typical 5d chess sorta way where it's from an incredibly biased pov #smth smth jackie constantly self sabotaging and being oh so shocked when it causes her mental health to spiral and trying to justify it to #herself while also trying to burry it under even more work and isolation that just makes everything even worse #also shes divorced and sad abt it even though shes the one who has been pushing olivia away even pre divorce #and she has absolutely no plans on stopping she is both holding onto hopes of olivia turning around while also actively pushing her away #also kinda unrelated but I keep thinking back to scrapped jackie and olivia #and how fascinating it is that good ol jodi was honestly kind of shitty #well ok olivia is also shitty in many ways but the original divorce™ scene was soooo much worse of a look than the current one #long story short the two started a business immediately after jodi graduated that jackie especially was super excited abt #jackie was also anxious abt it though since she was struggling to get her phd and felt she had to rely on jodi to be taken seriously #but they quickly ran into money issues which eventually lead to jodi leaving after she was given an offer to join a large project #which youd think its like ah I see a conflict between friendship and dreams #which isnt wrong per say but oh my god did jodi fuck up her wording so bad like holy shit #she was all like I think this project would be a better use of my phd than continuing to do this #which Im not saying that feeling that way is bad per say but when your like best friend who you know has issues with personal worth and has #been putting a lot of effort and presumably money into this business that you suggested founding its maybe not the best idea to say #straight to her face that you think this is a waste of your time and abilities even if you probably think youre putting it nicely #thats whats so fascinating to me abt old jackie is that to me shes borderline genuinely sympathetic #which is why I love the idea of her having similar character traits still but in a less justified environment #like I am still in shock that so many of my jackie headcanons actually held water like even my ppl didn't take jackie's ideas seriously #and that being a bonding factor for olivia and jackie was smth that actually existed in the original concepts for the two #again Im glad they were scrapped for a multitude of reasons but its so vindicating that I was actually onto smth #Ive talked abt how I think its good they got scrapped because of the importance of oni's narrative being patchy and vague #but also I am so glad they scrapped pretty much all of jackie's actively sympathetic elements even if I still like sympathising with her #I know I complain abt us not seeing enough of jackie's perspective of things outside of her immediate research but thats mostly on the #grounds that it makes olivia and jackie's old friendship feel too trapped in the implied realm #I want jackie to feel like theres more to her life but I dont want said things to feel like a part of the plot if that makes sense