Tumgik
About
Privacy Policy
Removal Request
Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
There are dozens of funny blogs to kill time on Tumblr.
#and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i
opens-up-4-nobody
·
7 months
Text
...
#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted
#and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i
#think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god.
#and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind
#and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind
#splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt
#and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d
#some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard
#as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not
#and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and
#more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this
#and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make
#things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill
#laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop
#with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out
#itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄
#unrelated
5 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
citymarteg
City Mart Opens 24 hours a day, 7 Days per week.
lawgrain
The Blob Blog
dialga64bitz
Bruh is my stim word
sfyanblog
yan writes sfw content
heritagecollectibles
Heritage Collectibles