#and i do not have skills money or desire to learn to sew bc I shouldn't have to!!! i want to find this shit in stores like everyone else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lemonlightproductions · 3 years

Note

So question to all this Artist in LL what made you knew that you wanted to become an artist?

Ana: ive always kind of drawn and my progress to becoming a more serious artist was gradual. it started a little bit with making fan pokemon when i was like 11 but the REAAAAL big push was when i was 12 and i wanted to make a warrior cats fanfiction and i drew out aaaallll the ocs and a fuckton of art for that. i had a bunch of warriors youtubers i admired and i had no clue WHAT digital art was until then, and kind of just saved up money for a tablet and the rest is history.

Dani: i wanted to become an artist so i could draw furry pokemon art

Kikyo: i wanted to be an artist ever since i saw the joy my siblings had when they see the mini comics i made, that was when i was like 10-11 y/o. its been a slow build but 15 years later, self-taught and still growing, here me is xD

Lizzy: Idk I felt like it I was sitting there watching art videos on YouTube when I was like 15 and thought to myself “wow I wish I could do that!” And so I asked for a crappy $25 drawing tablet for my birthday! I started heavily doing Undertale and Toontown art and now this is where I’ve ended up! So TLDR, if you want to learn how to draw, do it! Nothings stopping you!

Loke: idk i've just always been drawing horses and bc i can't focus without using my hands i would always draw in class whenever the teacher wasn't watching me, so i got a lot of practice that way. i've recently picked up watercolours bc i wanted to make personal holiday cards for friends, and i'm having a lot of fun with it! tl;dr i just like doing something visual that also keeps my hands busy, whether it's art, sewing or something else

Tex: For lemoned light?? I just liked helping with artwork

Lore: I was doodling the second I first ever picked up a crayon, and just never stopped. I had fits and starts in terms of improvement, naturally, and only really took it seriously in my later teen years. But I dunno that it was ever much of a decision so much as it was a desire to try and capture the movies in my head visually.

Tobin: i think the moment i knew i wanted to become an artist was funnily enough when I started at LLP and was working professionally on a team and collaborating with other artists. it made me realize that it's what I wanted to keep doing for as long as I could.

Katreal: To be honest, I kinda never really decided I wanted to be an artist, because I don't really consider myself one. Even leaving off skill-level discussions, identity-wise, I identify more as a writer than an artist. I just. Draw sometimes. For over 15 years off and on as ideas and or motivation hits. And that adds up to some level of skill eventually. Lemonlight actually helped a lot by giving me consistent assignments to do haha.

#qna 2020 #ask #drmetalwarrior

7 notes · View notes

valthume · 4 years

Text

Starlit Carnival App

Name: Atticus Sartre Face Claim: https://toyhou.se/1296433.atticus-sartre or Louis garrel Age: So Goddamn Old [appearance is in late 20’s/early 30’s] Height: 6′6″ Species: Fire Demon Role: Informant/Information Broker

Skills: He’s adept at manipulation and wields charisma like a weapon. A man with a sharp tongue and even sharper wit, atticus has an arsenal of both mental and physical skills. He’s able to slip in and out of shadows with ease, as well as appear to do so just by reading a crowd or a room. He has complete control over fire and is unable to be burned by it. He also has great physical strength, but tends to come across as more intelligent than strong. Anything holy causes him great harm, as do personal insults if they hit a bit too close to home. He’s extremely connected in many cities, and has little networks of spies all over. He can’t cook at all. Like at all.

Personality: Sadistic, selfish, and cruel - the demon Atticus is an ancient, chaotic entity whose puzzle pieces are...Not all quiet there, as they say.

A demon of no conscience and hardly any morals, Atticus is truly one of the worst of the worst. He feels neither guilt nor remorse and relishes in the suffering of others. He's unpredictable; one moment he may be charming his way through a formal ball, all manners and eloquence, and the next he might be tearing out the heart of a man, crazed and manic and enjoying every moment of it. He lives for pleasure in all forms, though he favors pleasures of the flesh the most. Many humans and even a few of his own kind have mistaken him for an incubus based on just how much his life revolves around such desires and impulses. Many of his partners do not escape unscathed either, as the demon will often murder them during the act. His own pleasure (in all forms) is the single most important thing above all else, regardless of the feelings of others or what consequences his actions could have. He's not unintelligent though. Although he's extremely impulsive and self-absorbed, Atticus is also highly intelligent and well learned, having at one point in his long life (and before truly succumbing to his own demons and illnesses) gone through higher education with the intent to become a scholar of some kind. He still retains the knowledge, even if now he finds Information to be a more...Exciting venture.

In fact, his hunger for knowledge and learning may play a part in his desire to collect and utilize information - though he wields it as a weapon instead of the good he may have once sought to do (if he even did). While he relishes both money and power, Atticus primarily chooses to weaponize and sell his collected information for his own amusement - typically in manners that will harm others, but in some cases his buyers have actually found the demon to be...Helpful. There appears to be no rhyme or reason to who he allows to partake of his information or in what manner he doles it out - unless it's to further his own agenda. More often than not though, everything is solely based on what he perceives as interesting, and he won't hesitate to drop a client or slip back into the shadows if his current "prey" is deemed too dull.

Atticus is also extremely obsessive, an issue he's dealt with his entire existence, but one that only truly came to a head at the death of his almost lover and dear human friend Marcus AND the continued centuries of emotional manipulation by his brood brother, the demon strategist Gilde. An existence in Hell also did nothing to assist with Atticus' struggles with obsession and mania, though it's hard to say how different he may have turned out if he had abandoned his kin and the horrible place of his birth. Regardless of what he could have become, Hell created a truly sadistic, manipulative, and impulsive monster that has since become the demon Sartre. The only saving grace for him (if it can be considered as such), comes in the form of recurrent hallucinations - "visions" triggered by seeing his own image in a reflective surface; fragments of some almost guilt that always take the shape of his dear departed friend standing directly behind him, watching with a disappointed gaze. These episodes send Atticus into wild, hysterical mania, and often end with his own self harm of tearing wildly at his stitches.

Misc:

He has a larger, more truly demonic form, but for the most part he just likes to hang out as is and be purple.

He's self absorbed and is obsessed with the human concepts of Beauty and Vanity.

He's adept at sewing and makes all of his own clothes- no matter how complex.

All of his fire is purple in color.

He has two siblings, but is estranged from both of them for the most part.

He's so fucking French what the fuck

His full name is Atticus Souriau Sartre bc I wanted his initials to abbreviate Like That

The way I envision and write my demon characters is such that they're all able to choose their own sex and gender presentation, Atticus is depicted as a Cis Male mainly because that would be the closest thing he would probably identify with.

#tw// self harm and depictions of mental illness

0 notes

voxplusherizes · 7 years

Text

I’ve made a big mistake

So, for those of you who don’t know, I love ball joint dolls. I love them, i think they're such beautiful pieces of artwork and i admire every one of them for their craftsmanship. Ever since i first discovered them in a little magazine thing my middle school handed out sometimes, I've wanted my own. I wanted one of those big, 70 cm ones, to make my character ZYT.fuck, i tried to make one with polymer clay once (it failed spectacularly) That desire hasn't really faded, i don't think, although i'd prolly be more inclined to make Erasii or XaE if i had the opportunity today.

I think that's why i eventually began to dabble in sewn dolls; if i couldn't have BJDs of my characters, I'd make my own the only way i knew how.

I do, technically, ""own"" a BJD. a 45-ish cm female from Dollzone. I bought her used from someone selling her, and i jumped at this opportunity because it was the cheapest i knew of to get a doll at the time (she was $300, the price the person had original paid for the doll, which i hadn't minded forking over since the doll was worth it.) and it landed right on my doorstep, practically.

Its because of this pre-ownership, however, that she never really felt like she was mine. I hadn't touched her to remove her clothing or wig or change her eyes for the longest time because i felt i was ruining her. Despite the fact that i now 100% owned this doll. when my attempts to give her an outfit failed bc i was a dumb child who couldn't sow worth shit, i put her back in her box, and she was eventually shoved into the attic. for years.

Recently, this feeling has faded enough for me to feel comfortable (albeit still really bad) removing her faceup. This doll i'm talking about is Zazanna, whom was recently renamed and redesigned. however, despite all of this....

she still doesn't feel like she's mine.

and this makes my heart ache because i should be content to have her, i wanted a ball joint doll and i have one so why can't i just be happy with that?

When i was attempting to figure out what model she was, i stumbled onto a distributor site for BJDs. they didn't have any of the type of doll i was looking for, so i don't know why i stayed, but i did, and....like a moron, i looked through the dolls.

And fell in love with one.

one that i can't have. because it's expensive for my literal broke ass.

I don't think i can describe how agonizing this love i have for this doll is. I've wanted things with all my soul before, yes, I've felt like i needed something "with all my heart and soul" but damn do i regret tossing around such words so carelessly now. I've "desperately wanted" gaming consoles. I've "desperately needed" certain games. I've "needed" art supplies like fabric, clay, resin, paints. Fuck, i used all of those exact terms when begging for my snek baby, Raspberry (to be fair, i think i wanted raspberry more than this doll, at the time. I fell in love with him instantly too.)

But this desire for this doll is different. its obsessive. the tab for its page is permanently open in my browser and has been for weeks, and i check it daily for no reason besides to see if it randomly decided to become free of charge. i admire the pictures of it constantly. i looked up reviews of it on youtube, google image searched it, picked out a name to give it if, by some miracle, someone decides they want to spend over a hundred dolls on me for a gift.

This doll is different from Zazanna. I don't love Zazanna. she doesn't have an identity. shes not "mine". but i feel like i need to own this doll, that I've already given him his own identity, his own soul. i feel like I've already claimed him, that he's mine and he's precious and he's a thing that I'll treasure. that i want to spend time, energy, and money bringing who i want him to be into reality.

Dolls are special to me. I believe they should be loved and cared for and respected, because they're unique and a lot of effort goes into making them. They're valuable, and deserve to be treated as such. This is why i never bought another BJD besides Zazanna, whom was a fortunate opportunity: i never fell in love with one.

but now i have, and its pain incarnate.

I get obsessive with things. things and hobbies. Because I suffer from depression, very little brings me pleasure or happiness. And so when i find things that i think will make me feel good, I fall for them and i fall hard. it becomes a need, a desperate, selfish need to cling onto anything, any kind of hope, that perhaps this thing will magically cure me and i can feel again. or that doing this hobby will breathe the life back in me. Its a constant, always bouncing from thing to thing yet never staying long enough to actually get good at it or even learn it properly.

Drawing. Writing. Painting. Sculpting. Knitting. Watercolor. Woodburning. Game design. Coding. 3D modeling. Esperanto. Video Games. voice acting. video editing.

Doll customizing is the most recent on a very, very long list. I'm running into, blind and at full steam. and just when I'm halfway through, i know i will crash. and yet i'm doing it anyway. I can't tell if that’s inspiring or just foolish.

Sewing is the only skill that I've stuck with long enough to actually have a visible change in the quality of my work, and I'm proud of that.

The point of this tangent is thus: i can't tell if I've truly fallen in love with a doll for it being a doll and something i simply adore. or if i love it because i think it'll artificially boost my mood for a couple of days if i have it.

....Does it even matter?

#VoxRambles #Text #Negative #Semi-rant

3 notes · View notes