#and i hate the aftershocks of shame of assuming im even important enough to be talked about

[pansyfemme]

im having anxiety so bad right now that im overwhelmed by noise but quiet is making me so paranoid i cant not have my headphones in

#ive been venting on tumblr since day one of this account but this feels different now #i dont know where to go sometimes i dont want to wake up friends or therapists or parents or even really talk one on one #i just want to speak and people to read it i guess #but ive become really obsessive about being a bad person and its ruining my life lately #there was an incident at home that made me go back into this old thought process i have #and the roomate struggles have made it worse #i feel needy and constantly needing attention and validation and it makes me sick #i want to tell people i love them constantly because i need to but then i convince myself thats also bad that must be manipulation #everytime i dislike someone they must know it and hate me and find me disgusting #im like so tired of obsessions #of not being able to hear words i cant make out without becoming obsessive about how people must be talking about me #and i hate the aftershocks of shame of assuming im even important enough to be talked about #vent tw