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thefledglingdm · 4 years

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so here’s another essay that maybe 0.5 people asked for? because i rewatched set it up and now someone great and in so many ways i think i arguably like someone great better???? so here is the long-winded rambly mess of me being emotional over this movie. info is below the cut, no pressure to read just bc i’m having rom com feelings this saturday night!!!!

for those of you who have never seen someone great (why are you reading this? i’m flattered but why), here’s a quick summary: when music reporter jenny gets an amazing new job opportunity, bad news comes with it: she has to move cross-country. to top it all off, her boyfriend of nine years breaks up with her because he doesn’t want to move with her. enter her best friends erin and blair, who decide to send off their best friend in style with a mind-bending 24 hours of partying and emotional catharsis.

a disclaimer: this movie also has a special place in my heart because it came out right as i was getting set to graduate from grad school. so many of my friends had moved on and moved away already, but i was about to do that, too, shucking off the safety blanket of school and entering into the “real world.” and this movie, i think, uniquely captures that feeling in a way no other film i’ve personally seen does? more on that later.

GOD where even do i start.

jenny so captures the feeling of being dumped. the anger, the ugly, loud crying, the messiness of it, the drinking, the up-and-down bevy of ping-ponging emotions. she belts lizzo’s “truth hurts” in her underwear, in her kitchen, drunk. her best friend then walks in and joins her. like yes THAT is what girls and breakups feel like.

(obvs not for everyone but i felt seen)

(the night of one of my college breakups ended with me on my best friend’s floor, wine-drunk and full of domino’s pizza, critiquing her presentation for an upcoming history conference.)

her best friends are there for her and love her and support her, taking the day off work to stay with her. but they also give her tough love when she needs it. and she does need it.

also that bond between women bc jenny is just bitching about her breakup to a random woman on the subway and she’s like, “yo fr???? he sucks”

this movie is also so hilarious???? these girls have been best friends since college and it SHOWS. they do all these goofy silly things together, they have in-jokes and references, they make fun of each other. they tease each other about their boyfriends/girlfriends. they smoke and drink and get high together. they SWEAR. they have foul mouths and my bffs and i did too.

god the LINES. like

“yo. i went to say hello to a chihuahua outside our building, and it was a fucking rat.”

“it’s... like a green juice smoothie. that’s kind of genius.” “she made me try it. it’s fucking disgusting. i am drowning out here.”

“we’ll tell them her mom died!” “oh my god????” “ugh, fine. her aunt.” “i don’t think you understand what is fucked up about this suggestion.”

“ooooh, you gave me my favorite mug, you do love me!!!” and the mug is a mini-toilet.

“blair, watching you take down all those carbs has been the highlight of my whole, entire life.”

“what happens next???? i turn thirty and then i probably die.”

*sobbing* “and like.... i really want to go to the farmer’s market with you. that sounds really nice.” “great fresh produce.”

the representation is so good??? jenny is Latina; erin is a Black lesbian; erin’s girlfriend is a South Asian designer.

no i’m gonna go into my thesis now which is that this is the only movie i’ve seen that actually serves as a “coming of age” movie that is not aimed at teens. it’s not about finding yourself in high school or college or coming to terms with your sexuality (which are all important!!! but as someone in my mid-20s, who has graduated and is comfortable in my gender and sexuality, those movies aren’t for me. and i hadn’t realized how much i needed a movie like this for me until i saw it for the first time).

this is a movie about looking around at your life and realizing that you’ve outgrown it. this is a movie about what it’s like to keep growing up, because you don’t graduate college/grad school and suddenly you’re an Adult and it’s all Figured Out. it’s not!!!!! and that’s okay!!!!!! you may think you have a Life Plan but then it goes off the rails and things change and it’s hard and it’s scary and it’s okay because we all feel it. we all grow up.

like.... people fall out of love. relationships change. people get jobs and move away. it’s scary. and the way that it’s described.... jenny’s realization that her breakup with nate was a long time coming, because they actually hadn’t been happy in a long time. when blair breaks up with her boyfriend in the single most amicable, polite breakup scene i’ve ever watched. they’re not angry or hurt, they’re relieved. and it’s so refreshing to watch an example of a breakup that is a relief, because two people are being freed from their own expectations, of their lives, of each other, of themselves.

and this also talks about the fear of really, truly falling in love for the first time. the vulnerability, the recognition that now everything in life is changing.

when jenny holds her best friends and confesses, “i don’t know life without this.” when erin screams that she is afraid of everything about growing up, because that means that she needs to change. truly everything about jenny’s goodbye letter to nate.

god i just. “i don’t know life without this” hits me in the fucking face because that’s exactly how i felt about living with my best friend and moving out to move in with my partner, about my eboard group of besties splitting and moving all over the country, about my group of friends that supported me through the worst moments of my life and encouraged me to embrace myself, my healing, and my sexuality? and there was something Terrifying about the notion of moving away, about all of us separating and growing apart. and to see a movie that showed that that fear was natural, and it was okay, and there were some friendships that last forever? and even if they don’t, that doesn’t mean they were without love and meaning? it was something that i needed at the end of my education career.

also jenny and erin joke about apparently facetiming each other on the toilet and that made me scream bc my best friend and i literally do text each other each time we shit, and also it’s usually at the same time. you know you’re besties not just when your periods sync, but when your shit cycles do, too.

yeah i feel like we’ve all gotten to know each other really well in this post.

also the soundtrack FUCKING SLAPS. the intro to lorde’s “supercut?” jenny singing along to selena’s “dreaming of you” in her bodega? jenny’s realization that things are truly over between her and nate, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, and it’s okay, to jessie reyez’s “great one?” jenny cry-singing to “truth hurts” by lizzo? the super-fun scene of the three getting ready for their hedonistic night out to lil kim’s “the jump off?” cinematic brilliance.

also the cameos??? jaboukie young-white and rupaul are in it. they’re hysterical, especially jaboukie young-white oh my GOD

tl;dr this is the coming-of-age movie to women in their mid-20s when we feel like Death Is Coming at age 30 when really life is just beginning. life is about change. sometimes we outgrow our lives, and that’s okay.

anyway please watch this movie look how ADORABLE and CUTE and BEAUTIFUL THEY ALL ARE

#someone great #jj speaks #sorry i just love this movie a lot thank u for your time

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novamelt · 5 years

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CONNECTIONS ARE WANTED !

beneath the cut i have all of my muses, a lil’ description of them, & the connections i need for them. please do not be shy if you feel like you would like to fill one of these connections. feel free to ask questions if need be.

ANY CONNECTION BOLDEDIS HIGHLY REQUESTED.

ANY CONNECTION ITALICIZED ARE MUSES I WANT CONNECTIONS FOR BUT HAVE LITTLE/TO NO IDEAS FOR.

synopsis: abby is the head of a russian cult. she’s more money motivated than loyalty motivated. -- adult, pansexual.

FRIEND FROM HOME: this person would have to be russian. most likely sent from her family to keep a close eye out on her.

LOYALIST: someone who is very head over heels for abby. maybe was manipulated this way. does a lot of her dirty work.

synopsis: aimee is a high school student. she doesn’t quite fit in to any crowd. she’s down to earth & very in touch with herself. -- teenager, pansexual.

GIRLFRIEND: aimee is trying to explore all of the possibilities her sexuality has to offer, but she would keep this girl a secret.

synopsis: alek is a construction worker. he doesn’t like his job, or anything really. he’s a very grumpy man, who enjoys liquor and solitude. -- adult, heterosexual.

SOFT BABY LOVER: this girl would be the opposite of him. someone gentle, sweet, caring. basically a girl willing to suffer to fix him.

synopsis: annalise is a high school student. she’s your local dungeon master & arcade dweller, despite not wanting to be, -- teenager, pansexual.

BEST FRIEND: this person would also be a fellow nerd. most likely very in touch with her family, plays d&d with them. can be any gender.

WANNA BE FRIEND: this person would most likely be a cheerleader, but a popular kid for sure. ana would pursue them, try to please them - anything to try and make a break away into a popular crowd.

synopsis: anthony is part of a russian cult. he was sent to the american operations to watch over his sister, who they put in charge,. he’s very well mannered, and reclusive. -- adult, pansexual.

HIDDEN LOVER: the american operations is about abby, not himself. so any romance he found he would keep hidden and restricted.

synopsis: apollo is part of a russian cult. he’s stealthy, which you wouldn’t guess by just how goofy and laid back he is. -- adult, pansexual.

BUDDY: apollo is a good time and is very charismatic. he could easily make a fellow trouble maker his pal, and they could go around causing little bits of mayhem together.

synopsis: barker is a comedian. he’s very anxious and doubtful of himself, but hides it behind jokes. -- adult, pansexual.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: barker just needs someone to comfort him, support him, and help him along his journey. this person can be any gender, but must enjoy puns.

synopsis: basketcase was recruited into a gang of psychopaths not very long ago. her loyalties are scattered. she’s quite the thief, too. -- adult, homosexual.

GIRLFRIEND: this would be an incredibly toxic relationship. basketcase is likely to be abusive, always wanting her way, and incredibly jealous. a girlfriend who is either soft and submits or a girlfriend who is just as feisty are equally good options.

synopsis: bernard works at a smoothie stand. he’s trying to get his life together, but he finds it hard since he lets everyone walk over him all the time. he’s a huge sweetiepie. -- adult, pansexual.

CO-WORKER: this person is just someone who also works at the smoothie stand. they would spend a lot of time together and be buds outside of work. probably one of bee’s only friends.

CRUSH: bee isn’t very good with his words or feelings, despite having a lot of them. even if the crush is requited, which it doesn’t have to be, he would be very shy and also scared to ruin a friendship.

synopsis: blaine is a survivor of a zombie outbreak. he’s on the search for his last remaining family member: his younger brother. blaine may be unrelenting but he’s also not lost touch with his morals in this world. -- adult, pansexual.

FELLOW SURVIVOR: this person could be of any type of personality. just someone who would have his back, and he would have theirs. someone willing to entertain the idea that his brother is still alive, despite the odds.

synopsis: blaire is a college student. she lives in her own little apartment, and has a book published. she’s minorly famous, in fact. -- adult, homosexual.

LONG DISTANCE GIRLFRIEND: this girlfriend would be someone who loved to read, or at least was book - smart. this girl would be soon moving a cross country to move in with blaire at her apartment, too. a very serious, steady relationship.

synopsis: buddy is your average loser. likes games, being by himself, and oh yeah, is a well known streamer under an alias. for someone who is so shy and unspoken, he has an incredible streaming persona! -- teenager, pansexual.

BEST FRIEND: buddy has a lot of love to give. this person would have been his friend since kindergarten, very close pals. plays video games, goes for bike rides, the whole nine yards.

synopsis: canston is a rich man, but a charitable one. he’s kind hearted, naive, and very forgiving.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: castor dooms is a police officer. he’s always wanted to be. worked his butt off to get to this point in his life. he has a hard time juggling work and home, though. -- adult, heterosexual.

FIANCE: this woman would be the girl of his dreams. probably an introverted girl who likes to dance, makes good breakfast foods, and forces him to watch sappy movies. their relationship would go under many strains as castor tries to figure out how to balance work and home. could even be pregnant.

CO - WORKER: this would be a fellow police officer he would be buddies with. probably his partner that he does paroles with. knows what kinda donuts they like, all the good cop stuff.

synopsis: collins is a librarian. he may be quiet, but he has a lot of attitude. and a lot of knowledge. he’s your book smart, sassy man. -- adult, homosexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: colton is a high school student. he loves the water, fishing, and especially boats. he even designs his own. he can be introverted. -- teenager, pansexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: daniel is a high school student. he survived a jigsaw trap, and lost his father in a very short amount of time. he’s very touchy, incredibly unstable, and quite the mess. -- teenager, heterosexual.

CLOSE FRIEND: this person would’ve known daniel before the saw trap, and would maybe even have disdain for the daniel that came out. nevertheless, this person would be caring and try to spend a lot of time with him.

synopsis: deacon temple is a gym over. he’s a german meathead, very inspired to work out and be the best him. he has far too much energy and just assumes everyone else does, too. -- adult, pansexual.

WORK OUT PARTNER: this person would be a gym regular that deacon took a liking too. they can work out together, be close buddies, and maybe even have a romance.

LAZY PAL: this person would be a couch potato, and deacon is set in his way to try and fix this! he loves this person to death, maybe has known them for a long time, and wants to see them be a healthy, fit, gym loving person like he is.

synopsis: delilah is a runaway. she has escaped a town where her family is essentially the mafia there. she is a wanted woman, especially since her father has never stopped his pursuit for her. -- adult, pansexual.

SPY: this person would be sent from her father, and has found her. but as the movies go, the two have fallen for each other, and delilah is unaware why this person truly came into her life.

synopsis: denver is a divorced single parent who owns a bakery. much like that title, he’s a lot to handle. he’s rather emotional and caught up in his own world, despite how much he wants to be there for other people. -- adult, pansexual.

GIRLFRIEND: this person would have to love kids, and maybe have a few of her own. he would try too desperately to make things work, probably be incredibly clingy and overbearing. she may either love this or hate this,

synopsis: dixie is a famous streamer. she’s very goal oriented and at times self absorbed. she can be very loving, but does love her social media. -- adult, pansexual.

RIVAL: this person can be someone she hates, but keeps a good face on for the media. they do streams together, attend cons together, the whole thing. but they actually hate each other!

synopsis: elliot jordon is a survivor of a zombie outbreak. he’s a previous boyscout who has survived this long by tooth and nail. he’s a hardass and not a very nice boy anymore. -- teenager, pansexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: grayson is the sheriff’s son. he’s in training to also be a police officer. he’s clumsy, too caring, and just an overall good guy. he doesn’t often see the bad in people. -- adult, pansexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: jessica is a high school student. she’s a dick. not very nice to anyone, really. that bitch. but she can be incredibly funny, throws good darts, and has a car, so you can say she’s well liked. -- teenager, heterosexual.

BOYFRIEND: this boy would probably be the stoner type. jess would probably like to keep him hidden, especially from her friendgroup. they probably wouldn’t often get a long, but when they do, it’s like fireworks!

synopsis: lynn denlon is a doctor. she survived a jigsaw trap but lost her entire family in the process. she still is in grief, and can’t seem to get over it. she struggles in everyday life. -- adult, heterosexual.

BOYFRIEND: this would be someone she probably met at the hospital. someone who likely has children, and is very emotionally strong. someone she feels like she can depend on.

synopsis: mitchell is a high school student. he lost all of his friends in a horrible, deemed freak, accident. he’s incredibly wounded, spends a lot of his time with music and alone . -- teenager, heterosexual.

CLOSE FRIEND: this person would be someone that maybe even knew his previous friend group well. someone who would try to help mitch recover, or at the very least, move on a little.

synopsis: riley is a ceo. she fought her way to the position for the recognition of her parents, but stayed for the money. she’s become a greedy woman ever since. -- adult, pansexual.

SUGAR BABY: this person would be someone in need of money, but with a lot of time on their hands. someone willing to do what riley says, and she’s quite a bossy lady, for some money.

synopsis: randy, rumble, boons is a famous race car driver. but he’s a hopeless romantic who wants to get married and have a domestic life. it’s a stark contrast, the two things, but he doesn’t mind. -- adult, pansexual.

SIGNIFICANT OTHER: this person would be terrified of rumble’s career as a racecar driver. they would be in a long term, serious relationship. this would cause for a lot of bumps in the road.

synopsis: samuel beans is a high school student. he sells drugs on the side. he wears sunglasses indoors because he’s either high or has a bruise to wear from his father. he’s incredibly cocky, oftentimes rude. -- teenager, heterosexual.

SUGGESTIONS/IDEAS?

synopsis: sarah lost her parents when her younger brothers were only children. she had to assume the parenting role. this has shaped her into a responsible woman, but it keeps her wound rather tight. -- adult, pansexual.

BOYFRIEND: this boyfriend would oftentimes go neglected, since her brothers come first. this could be a challenge to overcome and cause for issues in the relationship. probably with someone shes known for a long time, so they have motivation to make it work.

synopsis: thomas bones is a single dad. he lost his first wife to disease, and has raised his son on his own. he’s very lost, confused, and in need of love and help at all times. -- adult, heterosexual.

GIRLFRIEND: this woman would have to like kids, or even better if she has some. someone who he can spend a lot of time with and doesn’t mind his quickness into a relationship.

synopsis: valerie is a high school student. she may be popular, but she isn’t well liked. probably because she’s a right bitch. -- teenager, heterosexual.

BFF: this person would probably also be a bitch. they can be bitches together, going to parties, sleep overs, and just trying to fuck up peoples lives.

FOLLOWER: this person would be new to school/a very soft, tiny individual. someone who is easily manipulated by val. a very toxic friendship.

#you can see me slowly give up halfway thru this and start skipping more and more muses #if need be ill come back and add and reblog it when i do but CHECK IT OUT NERDS #━━ 0 ⋄ ˢʰᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᵘᶜᵏ ᵘᵖ ᵃᶫᵉˣ ∷ ⌠ psa ⌡ ∷

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jodiwalker · 7 years

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These Are the Best Things Happening on ‘Game of Thrones’ Right Now, Part II

Hey y'all, something bad is coming on Game of Thrones, so just real quick, let's remember the good times in episodes 3 and 4, when teenage assassins were reuniniting with their teenage ruler sisters and teenage psychic brothers. When Littlefinger was getting ragged on so hard. When Jon and Davos had nothing better to do than chalk up the cave walls of Dragonstone with little bitty zombie drawings to prove a point and flirt with Missandei, respectively.

There were Catspaw Dagger references for the most careful of watchers, Jon saying "I'm not a Stark" as a Targaryen dragon flies overhead for the mildly observant viewer, and there's Jon and Dany touching each other's wrists in caves for everyone else who's just like, I don't understand what's happening here, I've never understood what's happening here, I don't care what's happening here, but I will be here until it's all over and Dany has married her nephew, SO HELP ME R'HLLOR.

So, once again, this is not a recap, not a review, just a simple, definitive, and all-encompassing list of The Best Things Happening on Game of Thrones right now (which is to say last week and the week before):

Almost Everyone Playing the Game of Thrones Is a Baby-Child

It suddenly became clear in episode 3 that while the lead characters in Game of Thrones don't seem particularly young when they are commanding their armies and large, magic animals—when they come face to face in a throne room, they suddenly seem like two particularly formidable and hormonal teenagers facing off at a Model United Nations simulation. Except, y'know, one of them recently died and was resurrected by a thousand year old sexy priestess, and the other has a bunch of giant toddler dragons and, like, ended slavery, I think.

I'm, of course, speaking of Dany and Jon, the two most popular rulers at Westeros High. Now, since Kit Harrington and Emelia Clarke are each 30, you wouldn’t think they would seem that young…but they're also both, like, 5'1 if they're an inch, so when they first came face-to-face in episode 3, they more often resembled a couple of adorable Shiba Unus tussling over a Kong ball and sniffing each other's butts, instead of two rulers arguing over getting to save the world in the specific way they want to.

In that sense, their first meeting was a particularly precious reminder of how young they still are. Yes, all the GoT kids were aged up three or four years from the books at the start of the series, but Dany and Jon are still only 22 or 23 as they fight to save the world from heretofore unknown evils—and by that, I of course mean Queen Cersei making ever woman get her goofy pageboy haircut.

When Missandei announces Dany like one of Blair Waldorf's be-headbanded lackeys, Game of Thrones briefly turned into a Disney Channel Original movie, bringing along all the clashing dynamics of darkness and precociousness a DCOM denotes. You can practically hear Missy saying, "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn, President of the Student Council, rightful member of the A/B Honor Roll, rightful owner of a used Ford Prius she got as a reward for said A/B Honor Roll, Haver of an Afterschool Volunteer Internship at a Veterinary Office, Breaker of Bullies, the Sister of a College Sophomore Who Lets Her Wear His Old Fraternity Formal Shirts So People Think She's Cool, Voted Most Likely to Play with Fire and Like It a Little Too Much, and the Survivor of a Particularly Bad Case of Strep Throat Last Year.

You scared yet Jon Snow, you creepy-loner-who-doesn't-know-he's-hot-and-smokes-cigarettes-behind-the-school-but-secretly-makes-all-As-and-has-a-heart-of-gold-Patrick-Verona-lookin'-ass, you?

If Dany hasn't stood up on the Iron Throne and tearfully choked her way through a rendition of the "10 Things I Hate About Jon Snow" by the end of all this, I will be shocked. Because, as we will discuss later, Dany doesn't hate King Jon (King Snow? No, that doesn't sound right, does it Davos)…not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

The Stark Children Are Happy…Well, As Happy As a Live Stark Child Can Be

Of course that's not even mentioning the actual children roaming around Winterfell with severe PTSD and a recently developed case of the huggies. Sansa's running the Stark show at Winterfell while Jon is away at Dragostone giving up all his weapons and doing arts and crafts in the underground caves, and in her time as a prisoner of various evil families, she seems to have picked up quite a knack for organizing grain supplies and commanding that leather be added to armor because the dipshits apparently haven't heard that WINTER HAS COME.

I thought Sansa would be cool for like an episode or two and then go back to being dreadful, but her recent transition from Little Sister to Big Sister inside the walls of Winterfell seems to be suiting her well. When Meera finally brings Brann back home and after dragging his 6'4 ass all over the North, she gets exactly zero sibling hugs because her brother died protecting Brann—justice (and a warm shower) for Meera—but the newly minted Three Eyed Raven gets a sweet embrace from big sister Sansa.

He returns the love by informing Sansa that now he can see everything that's ever happened in the world, including the worst night of her life when she was forced to marry Ramsay and he raped her.

Hey Brann, I know it's not your fault that Jaime Lannister pushed you out of a window, and your dad got beheaded, and Theon fake-torched you, all setting you on a fan-least-favorite path toward becoming the Three Eyed Raven but—you totally suck! Someone else can tell Jon he's a Targaryen if it means you having to be all weird to your sisters now that you're finally, gloriously, wonderfully reunited. In this extended high school analogy I've been drawing, Brann is the kid who took one philosophy class at the community college for extra credit and thinks he knows everything now. You don't know shit, Brann!

Okay, fine, Brann knows some shit, and is obviously intended for some higher purpose in this game of thrones or he surely wouldn't have been—quite literally—dragged through all seven seasons. I just wish that purpose was being a nice supportive brother to his super-survivor sisters, which brings us to…

ARYA IS BACK AT WINTERFELL AND SHE SPARRED WITH BRIENNE AND MAYBE THEY CAN GO LADY-ARMOR SHOPPING TOGETHER NOW, WHAT'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD?!

As it turns out, the already disparate Stark children have become even more contrasted with time and (grueling, awful, traumatic, painful, oftentimes unbelievable) circumstances. Sansa, who was a pretty girl who wanted to marry a prince, is now the Wardeness of Westeros' largest region with a keen political mind and a dude who would fucking love to marry her that she's constantly mocking. Arya was a tomboy who had a real good time at her afterschool swordsmanship lessons, and has since grown into a stone-cold assassin who cuts people's faces off and magic-pastes them onto her own face, then feeds those recipient of the face-cutting to his own family, and then also kills that entire family. Brann has turned from a boy who liked to ride horses into Westeros' creepy Miss Cleo, and also, he no longer goes by Brann, and also, is a pretty constant dick to the women in his life.

That all kind of made me love their reunions even more though. Arya saying, "Do I have to call you Lady Stark?" as her first greeting to Sansa was incredible. Sansa replying, "Yes," very much in the way of Old Sansa, but then turning around and hugging Arya and bonding with her about how much pain they've lived through and how everything they used to know is dead except for each other was even better. And Sansa telling Arya that "Brann has visions," in the same tone of voice you might warn a guest that your little brother has recently gotten really into making his own chainmail was EVEN BETTER. There was also Jon all the way over at Dragonstone being all "She's startin' to let on" when Tyrion says that Sansa is smarter than she lets on—love those two, sure hope Littlefinger doesn't turn them against each other and shatter my heart into a million pieces!

But simply the best was watching those three rough and tumble Starks wheel and walk their way back from the Weirwood tree and into their home at Winterfell, down a couple family members, not really sure of who they've become, and probably on the brink of being murdered by ice zombies, sure…but they're also together—three lone wolves restored to a pack—and, for now, they're alive.

Of course, it is hard to ignore all that side eye Sansa was giving Arya as she sorted that out that Lil' Sis super-duper was not kidding about having a murder list. But Sansa isn't on said murder list, and hey, she also once fed a dude to his (canine) children, so maybe this girl gets it. Maybe everything will be fine and once Jon and Dany save the world, they can all go in on a family beach house together and parasail on dragons. Speaking of…

THAS-A-MUTHAFUGGIN-LOOT-TRAAAAAAAIN

I've always thought of Weiss and Benioff as kind of cool young dudes who were surprisingly hot and surprisingly married to Amanda Peet (which I would want to brag about in Emmy speeches too, no shade). But for some reason, recently, they've started to seem more and more to me like kind of clueless dads who, were we ever to see their legs in the after-show interviews, would be wearing pristine New Balances with loosely fitted light-wash jeans.

I don't know if it's because I recently fell into a deep dark YouTube black hole where I watched clips of a panel where Sophie Tuner and Maisie Williams interviewed B&W and just keep making fun of them for being old (of note, Sophie Turner is really funny). Or if it's because they're quite literally getting older and making this show where they have to spend three million dollars to light 20 real people on fire in order to make it look like 1,000 fake people are being lit on fire has probably aged them an extra decade.

But mostly I think it's because now that they're out from under the shadow of GRRM they can stop pretending they're dead inside and let their TV pathos flags fly, and that alone makes them seem a lot less hard than they used to. Them talking about how Dany and Jon it's so obvious Jon and Dany have developed feelings for each in the cave scene was just adorable. Guys! They've had like, two conversations, and neither one has made a single inappropriate "bend the knee" joke which they obviously would if they were two real life 19-year olds falling in luv in a cave.

All this is to say that, I am so thankful to them for bringing GoT to my television, but truly, only two dumb dads could have taken this insane, explosive, dragon-fueled battle and called it…"The Loot Train Attack." Or as I prefer to call it: the mutha fuckin' LOOOOOT TRAAAAAAIN!!!

There is nothing that I can personally write that would make the battle where Dany brought dragons to a sword fight at the counsel of Jon any better than it already was, so I'll be brief: It is in episode 4 of season 7, at the end of the Loot Train—LOOT TRAAAAAAAIN!—battle, as Jaime charges Daenerys with a giant spear, that it became clear just how impossibly complex this web of character has become. It used to be impossible to root for anyone because they were all either evil or definitely going to die in the next episode exactly because they weren't evil. No more.

I had no idea who I would choose to live and die between Jaime and Dany. And that is perhaps unique to me because in this game of thrones, everyone can choose their own winner and we can all be simultaneously right and wrong. Just as the people of Westeros are born into certain houses, we all have our allegiances. But the time is coming for us to also make important choices, because things can only be happy reunions and convenient river dives and spare Sand Snake killings and flirty-cave-fun-times for so long. Sides will be chosen, alliances will be made, and main characters will start getting their heads chopped off again. Weiss and Bennioff might be out dads, but if TV has taught me anything—and it has taught me literally everything—it's that tough love is the most rewarding form of parenting.

And also that women always keep their bra on during sex—except for right here on H-B-O!

#game of thrones #game of thrones recap #loot train attack

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