#and i told my parents and ive been on a waitlist for therapy but i need it now

[dwelicate]

vent in tags bbg

#okay so i have some irls on here but idk how often theyre on fucking tumblr but if you see this i love you very much and im not gonna kms #okay so literallly i got broken up w last night and im honestly really fucking relieved bc i loved him a lot but we were both so fucking #unstable as individuals that i knew it was never gonna last #but he broke up w me bc he fell out of love w me which bothers me #bc he needs help and hes starting to get it i just hope he doesnt fucking hurt another person #i really thought we were gonna fucking last forever bro #he talked abt fucking marriage #i am a minor #which says everything you need to know abt wanting to marry someone on the night you confess #im just #i just #i dont fucking know anymore #im so sad all the fucking time #like i thought it was hormonal and shit but its not fucking going away #and i told my parents and ive been on a waitlist for therapy but i need it now #i genuinely need help #im not suicidal at all tho i dont want to die i just need a break #when i finish fucking typing this i have to go do my hw. i want to die. #im kidding i just said i didnt #we're still friends though but we built so much together #i miss him a lot #but i couldnt get back together w him #he was really shitty to me tbh #but he was my first so many thing that its like #idk how to rebuild that trust w anyone to let them see me like that again just for them to fucking leave #and im still so young #im so young and emotional #i have so much time #to love others #idk

[catfa]

January 12, 2017

difugoidrug

honestly today is a huge fuckin bore but im finally improving on my overhand serves which is. a blast. i melted my pants by sliding on the floor without kneepads. wild.

also i forgot to mention it but my parents won’t make an appointment at the childrens hospital without seeing the therapist again (even though in december my dad told me to just do it even if hes gone) but i guess my mom wants to. but my dad isn’t back until february because he’s out of town so much (: im gonna kms this means my therapy appointment wont be until february and then AFTER that theyll set up my hospital appointment?? and i just. want to start fucking crying honestly every time i think about it because that means we were told to set it up in DECEMBER and they pushed it off for two fucking months. the waitlist for just the HRT CONSULTATION is MONTHS long. that means i wouldnt even have my consultation until around may and honestly im gonna fucking kms at this point?? they know how important this is to me theyve seen me cry about it multiple times ive been talking about it for MONTHS and wanted it for YEARS and they just are so selfish?? honestly if they dont help me get it before im 18 im just going to go to a fucking planned parenthood and get hormones there bc otherwise im gonna fucking kill myself jst. why cant they help me??? they’re meant to be my parents?

ten things im grateful for

volleyball

friends

latte

marvel

dc

video games

work

musical theatre?

food. i guess

i dont fucking know lmao i guess lang was funny

#my txt #my journals