#and i wasnt prepared for that shit like i made this character sheet almost as a big joke

[crimson-door]

it's been 3 hours and i'm still kinda dazed irl bc i got absolutely destroyed in a ttrpg

the dm admitted this encounter was designed to make all of us hate the villain (tho idk if the other players care about my character that much). i was terrified of the whole thing before it started and once i realized that there was no way for me to win the encounter i had to consider that my character would trully rather die than being captured in that very specific situation. i lost an arm and all

we're cool tho. talked to the dm about it afterwards bc the arm loss was a big shock, specially without a proper warning beforehand so i could prepare mentally, but it's all cool now. my character still lost an arm tho and idk where to go from here

#i still don't know if people playing even like my character so idk if the whole thing did much as a motivation #also none of their characters were present #after the dm left i kinda admited to the rest of the group that if captured my character would rather kill herself #who knows what will happen next session but this was very intense #i overall like the impact it made in the story as a whole but like if you gonna remove one of my limbs please lmk that that's a possibility #bc like. the game started as a fun martial arts tournament. then we found out that the organizers wanted us to kill eachother #and yeah we have powers and stuff but like so does the gang running the show #i also feel a little bit targeted? like i know i'm a veteran player and i jump into the drama quick #but from my 3 big fights one doesn't count bc it was with a friend and the plan was to escape the tournament together #but the other two were the DEADLIEST fights in the game #the first one of which only ended without deaths bc of external factors bc we had NO FUCKING WAY TO win. also i wasn't alone in that one #and the other one being today. i had no fucking chance of winning. i tried looking at it from every angle #i managed to last two rounds and that was me using all the resources my character sheet had #also a bit of creative environment usage #idk how to personally feel rn bc it feels like things are disproportionally harder for me #and i wasnt prepared for that shit like i made this character sheet almost as a big joke #like she's a catgirl who does heist. a cat-burglar if you will #today's fight was like if a train hit a puppy #or a kitten i guess #idk i just needed to vent somewhere where they won't see bc i don't want anyone to feel bad #i'm probably just feeling this way bc it just happened and the arm thing caught me off guard so hard