#and i'm once again faced with the dilemma of having my experience of the narrative shifted

[embv]

anyway if anyone is curious about where i’m at with the dsmp lore, i’m at that awkward stage where my initial hyperfixation for a character has died down and i sit back and think about their actions and their behaviors and i look back at how i justified/rationalized those as being better (or done with good intentions) than they were, and at how i would have characterized this character in the height of my hyperfixation, and i realize: wow, this character is more of an asshole than i was willing to admit, and i think part of me even knew that but was just too protective of my idea of them to admit that, maybe, despite already knowing they were an asshole, they were a Lot meaner than i treated them as, and i’m going to have to adjust my characterization of them and their subsequent dynamics with other characters (while still remaining in line with canon content and canon themes) because of it.

#my post #this Exact same thing happened with k*kichi o*ma (censored for tagging reasons) when i was hyperfixated on him #and now it's happening here too :skull: #i think i thought that i was better with it now than before and i could look at it objectively #but i'm thinking back on how i ran laps to paint o*ma as more well-intentioned/kind than he came off as #and how i ignored the more flawed way said dsmp character acted on a daily basis by constantly downplaying their more selfish actions #and i'm once again faced with the dilemma of having my experience of the narrative shifted #<- tbh though the ''awkward stage of hypfix. dying down and asshole realization'' has mostly already happened and been done with #i'm just now in the More awkward stage of coming to terms with the ways my analyses were wrong #and the impact that has on my views of the rest of the cast #and of course looking back at things i had saved or thinking about things i said or reblogged and cringing #and cringing at the way i withheld my own opinions at times and followed the masses hoping to just save my takes for when i wrote fanfics #anyway if you've been following me for a while #(and i haven't actually been properly online in ages so i think that's all of you) #(unless the p/rn bots count) #then you Probably know which character i'm talking about? #i just don't wanna name-drop anything 'cause my opinions have Dramatically shifted since the last time i reblogged lore analysis #and i don't want to be immediately attacked especially because the last discourse i saw about the dsmp was about the finale #so it's all kind of fragile territory as far as i can tell right now and i chose the worst possible time to have this revelation #'cause it comes at the cost of possible hostility or defensiveness if i posted anything that could be misconstrued as something worse #i mean i feel like just by making this post i'm already dipping my toes into dangerous territory but well. this is My echo chamber so