#and im tired of being disappointed even in my quote unquote more resonable family members (ie. my aunt)

[soldier-poet-king]

My father, talking abt how one of his co-workers is maybe autistic. My brother, immediately, well as long as he's high functioning. My dumb ass trying to explain why the term high functioning can be harmful and while a lot of professionals still use it, autism self advocates are trying to push away from it. Deliberately trying to explain this without using any sort of "fancy" terminology or strange concepte. My aunt, disdainfully, ugh all this terminology it's changing everyday I can't keep up.

Being assertive and Present is going. So well.

#franposting #why do i fuckin bother #trying to be like. a person. and a good person. its not going well #this is why i shut up and dont say anything #unless im drunk or extremely mad #i will simply. stay out of the way and pretend i dont exist #its easier #and im tired of being disappointed even in my quote unquote more resonable family members (ie. my aunt) #how at the end of all things is my mother the most resonable open minded person #not to b like terrible hallmark movies and primetime tv shows have changed her #but like. even the bullshit tokenism on tv. helps sometimes? my mother is like. oh i saw a gay/trans/disabled/etc person in this shoe #show* and suddenly shes like. even the slightest bit more accepting or able to see them as human beings #its so fuckin stupid. and conflicting #and i still hate her so much of the time. she caused so much of my trauma #god i need to get out of here but god everything is so expensive and im a coward #and im afraid i dont know how to be a person on my own anymore. if i ever really did