naisy gossip from the past couple of days on: ai’s shapeshifting and the legitimacy thereof, the shape of daisy’s head, trans troubles, daisy being offended by her implied sluttiness, a detour to dick jokes, a detour from dick jokes to feelings jamming, a detour about ines’s annoyingness factor, lesbian island and clea
nickatnightwalker
brief interjection: you doing okay with tweedle drunk and tweedle drunker over there?
sorcieresque
Are you.
nickatnightwalker
well, ive been completely cured of the siren charm probably forever
sorcieresque
Good.
He's not that cute either way.
Tyler's a mess. It's embarrassing.
nickatnightwalker
it's amazing how fast my interest in either of them dropped. like watching a rock plummet off the empire state building and then kill some passers by
nickatnightwalker
anyway me and damian are going for a walk until their blood alcohol levels drop below .6. wanna come
sorcieresque
I take a low res picture, fry it, and caption the rock in comic sans: My interest, the passers-by Tyler's chances of getting laid, the empire state building is captioned God.
I'm not going to third wheel you. I’ll have you know I have better social skills than that.
nickatnightwalker
this is an escape run daise take it or leave it
sorcieresque
Fine.
This doppelganger fiasco is getting boring either way.
nickatnightwalker
shes not real good is she
sorcieresque
No.
Having a 3D mirror was fun for all about twenty minutes, which makes for better bragging rights than most people have ever had. She should be proud.
nickatnightwalker
now do you get what i mean about your head being weird shaped
sorcieresque
Fuck you. My head is perfectly round.
nickatnightwalker
round ish
sorcieresque
Your face is round-ish.
nickatnightwalker
no it's not my jawline is the only good thing my dad ever gave me and you cant erase that fact
sorcieresque
I could if I wanted to.
Take back that my head is weird-shaped.
nickatnightwalker
you cant change my face
sorcieresque
I can and I shall.
nickatnightwalker
cant and shant
sorcieresque
Take it back.
nickatnightwalker
you must have seen it though
sorcieresque
I was too busy being mesmerized by the acute angles of my cheekbones.
nickatnightwalker
huh
you really missed an opportunity there then
sorcieresque
Let a shapeshifter pour themselves into an unholy you-shaped mold and then you shall throw stones.
nickatnightwalker
absolutely not
hey
do you think ai could even turn into me
she doesnt really know what i look like
sorcieresque
What do you mean.
nickatnightwalker
i mean it's not like ive stripped and tap danced through the quad
shes gonna get shit wrong
sorcieresque
Right. I assumed that was left to her vague interpretation.
It's not like she knows what the hot goods look like beneath my skirts.
nickatnightwalker
kind of unsettling
maybe everythings just barbie and ken under there when she turns into us
sorcieresque
On a scale of one to very, how rude would it be to ask her to take her clothes off.
nickatnightwalker
for you i think she would
happily
sorcieresque
I know.
It's charming.
My intentions are only pure and scientific.
nickatnightwalker
that part she might not love
sorcieresque
That sounds like a her-problem.
nickatnightwalker
itll be a you problem if she says no
sorcieresque
What if she knows how to mold us to a T.
nickatnightwalker
how could she possibly
sorcieresque
Magic? (Finger waving, etc.)
nickatnightwalker
no, she has to know what somethign looks like to be it
theres no way
shes gotta just be vague nothing underneath
sorcieresque
Then what's the big deal.
Don't be a pussy.
nickatnightwalker
well excuse me for being reluctant if the odds arent 100% against her finding out ive GOT one
sorcieresque
What, did you forget you're not the only one in the world?
She didn't seem to know about me.
nickatnightwalker
theres a lot less to guess on with you daise
nickatnightwalker
no offense but im pretty sure everyone heres seen you shirtless or close enough to to make a good approximately of nearly everything going on up there
nickatnightwalker
and most of us have seen your ass too
sorcieresque
That's an exaggeration, but you're welcome.
There is not "less" going on with me, just different issues in the downstairs department.
nickatnightwalker
no, not less, just less that people dont know about
it's the public semi-nudity daise
sorcieresque
You make it sound a lot worse than it is.
sorcieresque
You'd think after all these years you wouldn't be so scandalized of my alleged indecency.
nickatnightwalker
oh no im not but everyone else isnt hardened to it yet
sorcieresque
Haha.
Hardened.
nickatnightwalker
i dont get it
can you explain?
sorcieresque
Penis Havers + Sight of Skin = Profit.
nickatnightwalker
hm. yknow ive always managed it without the sight of skin part?
sorcieresque
Ooh, Mr. Nick, ooh.
sorcieresque
The mere sight of your melaninless face sends every phallus in a two mile radius from solid to mega solid.
nickatnightwalker
you joke and yet
sorcieresque
Deepthroating a banana is cheating.
nickatnightwalker
no it is NOT
besides thats just how i eat them
sorcieresque
Perhaps you and Ines are much more similar than you'd like to believe.
nickatnightwalker
please, as if she could eat a banana like i can
sorcieresque
She can unhinge her jaw, Nick.
nickatnightwalker
you got me there
but that really seems like a sacrifice in terms of pressure and suction
sorcieresque
I suddenly don't care about this.
nickatnightwalker
some principles are universal daisy
sorcieresque
I hardly see how unhinging your jaw would aid one outside of pleasing the mighty sword of Venus, oh Great Kahuna of Oral Sex.
nickatnightwalker
itd kinda be win some lose some just because youd get greater range of motion but lose a lot of use of your lips
sorcieresque
Not that this conversation isn't dripping mystery and pulsing with excitement, but are you okay.
nickatnightwalker
what
oh yeah he just asked if i like being human
nickatnightwalker
like...idk man do i like that ive been consigned to a particularly fragile and ill-fitting meat suit? sure i guess, since the alternative was not existing at all
shout out to my dads poor planning aaaaaaaay
sorcieresque
Aaaay!
Asking you that must count as a micro-aggression around here.
nickatnightwalker
oh fuck if i know everything is a micro-aggression around here asking somebody their favorite food is a micro-aggression around here
"hey whats your favorite color"
"do you not know how PERSONAL colors are to me once a color murdered my entire family and now im forced to brood silently yet threateningly whenever i see it"
sorcieresque
Does he like *not* being human? Respond in 2000-5000 words MLA format on your desk by tomorrow.
nickatnightwalker
as a matter of fact thats exactly what i just told him
sorcieresque
Twinsies.
nickatnightwalker
i bet we could start telling people that tomorrow and theyd swallow it hook line and sinker
sorcieresque
On that note, has Damian grown out of his sisterwife kink yet?
nickatnightwalker
while i dont know what his personal feelings are on it
knocking that joke out of the repertoire was part of the motherfucking bargain in exchange for letting him talk to me after hurricane daniel
sorcieresque
You've always been good at haggling.
nickatnightwalker
thank you
you know i really, really debated putting an allowance in there for a while?
sorcieresque
Ha!
Perhaps not quite so good, then.
nickatnightwalker
that was a trade off for my own self respect daisy
sorcieresque
I suppose some of you /humans/ have that.
nickatnightwalker
oh god dont even go there or i'll vanish your hair too
sorcieresque
Someone's touchy.
nickatnightwalker
shes just about as annoying as an asscrack full of sand
sorcieresque
An asscrack full of sand and sticky hands from a rapidly melting Popsicle?
nickatnightwalker
with sand glued onto your arms and legs with too-thick sunscreen scratching gently but persistently at your sunburn
sorcieresque
And your sunglasses are smudged.
nickatnightwalker
and your towel is too sandy to clean them on
sorcieresque
And there's Sandflies.
nickatnightwalker
when you shower youre gonna find dried seaweed down your bathing suit thats been there for hours
sorcieresque
Like lovingly cradling Satan against your crotch.
Anyway.
nickatnightwalker
anyway
shes real fuckin annoying
sorcieresque
She's not so bad.
I would have stopped around the sunglasses.
nickatnightwalker
you havent seen her raging superiority complex up close and personal
sorcieresque
I've seen her raging Mine Song complex.
nickatnightwalker
that is one can of lesbian worms i am not gonna go anywhere the fuck near
nickatnightwalker
im gonna just stay over here in my lane and not get in anywhere near anything the amazon warriors have claimed, up to and including the entire proteus dorm
sorcieresque
What about /my/ problems, Nick.
nickatnightwalker
cleas gotta come out, im not goin in
nickatnightwalker
i dunno if you wanna take on the sapphic equivalent of the mongol horde that's your bad choice not mine
sorcieresque
Well mark my death as "mysterious" on my Wikipedia page and call me sexy Genghis Khan, I'm ready.
nickatnightwalker
is there anything really worth conquering over there anyway
sorcieresque
Yes.
nickatnightwalker
name names bitch!
sorcieresque
What is this, a middle school sleepover?
nickatnightwalker
yep
nickatnightwalker
ive got the popcorn in the microwave now spill
sorcieresque
You're subscribed to the Daily Daisy, I was under the impression that you would have an idea.
Unless it's tagged Nick don't look, in which case you do not, because we respect each other's privacy.
nickatnightwalker
of course i dont
but i have YET to see a name drop
sorcieresque
Are you asking me if there is a lucky military strategist I would particularly like to conquer?
nickatnightwalker
yes
imagine some clapping emojisfor me
sorcieresque
You're very insistent.
nickatnightwalker
well yeah
nickatnightwalker
course i wanna hear whats up
sorcieresque
Oh.
sorcieresque
Well, no single tactician has caught my eye just yet, but I find some of the army members, how do you say, cute.
Ines among them.
sorcieresque
You love to joke about it, but I don't actually find Tyler's game plans all that exciting.
Val's too annoying and Gabriela too dumb to strive beyond eye candy.
I've caught glimpses of Clea, you know.
nickatnightwalker
thats vague and intriguing
keep going
sorcieresque
That's all there is to say.
sorcieresque
Sometimes they are there, and then they are back to being a walking kaleidoscope on steroids.
I think they're cute.
nickatnightwalker
they sent me a picture of them before
yknow, before
why can you see them?
sorcieresque
I don't know.
And oh.
How very juicy of them.
nickatnightwalker
dyou want it
sorcieresque
Absolutely I do.
nickatnightwalker
[it's an incredibly middle-school mirror selfie]
sorcieresque
I see.
Thank you for your candor.
nickatnightwalker
youre welcome
you and clea all straightened out?
after what they said and everything
i know they apologized but still
sorcieresque
I made them clamber up the vine and hang from my window. It was very romantic.
nickatnightwalker
oh thats so smooth im impressed
of you i mean since you told them what to do
sorcieresque
And isn't that a most excellent quality in a person.
nickatnightwalker
obedience?
generally speaking a better quality in a housepet than a person but cleas got other perks
sorcieresque
Yes?
And what would those be.
nickatnightwalker
a fourth dimension
australian accent
sorcieresque
The compulsive chivalry grew on me.
nickatnightwalker
it really is compulsive i swear they keep trying to stop
sorcieresque
Interesting.
sorcieresque
I could've sworn that was supposed to be their shtick.
nickatnightwalker
i thought their shtick was quirky 90s friend
sorcieresque
They contain multitudes.
That's why they look like that.
nickatnightwalker
well shit youre not wrong there
i feel threatened by their only-sane-man and rational-human motifs though that's really kinda my thing
sorcieresque
Your shtick is far more interesting than being a "rational" person.
nickatnightwalker
thank you
i do try to work that in though
at least sometimes
sorcieresque
Do you think it brings an eclectic factor to the jittery je ne sais quoi of your attractiveness?
nickatnightwalker
absolutely i do
i think it emphasizes that my jitteriness is not unfounded
sorcieresque
Wow, you're even internally consistent.
nickatnightwalker
oh yeah definitely what you see is what you get with me
sorcieresque
Whatever happened to the mystery!
nickatnightwalker
new school new me
sorcieresque
Your transparency of character disgusts me.
nickatnightwalker
oh man daise it disgusts me too
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