#and it's taking a bigger toll on my brain than i thoguht it would

[hishoukoku]

.

#I feel like I'm bothering ppl with my bullshit and i can't shake the feeling that everyone is fed up with me #I wish i could go live in a cave by myself sometimes #.....(let it be the 10k gods cave at least T.T)...... #no but for every hour of intense serotonin i get from things i love...I feel like a worthless trash the next few hours #Almost like i don't deserve it because even saying HELLO sometimes makes me feel like a bother #and that's to ppl /I/ consider friends #ive lost the ability to even realize who considers me a 'friend back' #not that i have anything to offer #plus i have to do some shit at work that i dont like #and it's taking a bigger toll on my brain than i thoguht it would #but its fineeeee cause I have the ability to bury myself in the things I adore to stop even the slighest real world thought from occuring #hyperfixations ftw #'cept SOMEtimes like now when im overwhelmed that i feel like i dont do them justice #I'll delete this later I'm just.. Tired.. #Ishidarambles #Personal shit #ranting in the tags like an OG tumblr user