#and just lurk from time to time. some reasons valid and some were stupid. i've been writing on discord and other oc's elsewhere

[blakhol]

Well hi!

I'm either remaking or revamping, not sure which yet. But I'm in general doing an overhaul of the blogs I want to keep and deleting those I'm done with for now - or the characters I only am writing specifically on discord.

I hope everyone has been well and staying safe. <3

#ooc #a lot has been going on whether it has been mental stuff or irl stuff that led me to just disappear for a while #and just lurk from time to time. some reasons valid and some were stupid. i've been writing on discord and other oc's elsewhere #cause my muse for my bbys has been dead and it has been frustrating #among other things zzz #but nestor came back gradually and naturally lenny i've been eyeing. #i've been just kind of hiding away and not happy about it. and also idk. i just have a weird anxiety sharing where i am at in terms of blog #or sites or what have you. it's silly and i've been working on it. #or maybe not silly because it has been an issue i've had to deal with for a long time now to figure out #either way tho. idk if this makes sense but hi. idk how reliable i am but i'm trying to be more than i've been

[purity-in-heart]

You're right, I was overreacting. I was trying way too hard to get my point across and ended up doing the exact opposite.

But at the same time, nowhere on Dea's post did it say the drawing was a commission, and even if it is one, most reasonable people would refuse to accept the commission on principle because of the character's age. However, I did acknowledge in my ask that Clara's age isn't specified in the source material and therefore would be harder to determine. Dea would have the perfectly valid explanation that she didn't know any better if she didn't also play the game. In the replies of the original drawing post she responds to another fan of the game implying that she also plays HSR, she is very much aware that Clara is a child and that Svarog is her adoptive father (and if she wasn't she probably would have specified that when she responded to my original ask).

I wouldn't have been nearly as angry if I had room to give her the benefit of the doubt that she just didn't know who the characters were or what their relationship to each other was (grossed out, sure, because I know who they are and, as I said in my first ask, I have a strong emotional attachment to them). I also wouldn't have been nearly as angry and would've made more sense if I had given myself more time to process my feelings, that one was on me.

Additionally, I want to apologize for implying that dark cardiophilia itself was what I was referring to as "edgy," it wasn't, I actually like dark cardiophilia, I think it's sexy (why else would I be lurking in this community? You guys make some really awesome stuff and I genuinely enjoy most of my time here). What I was referring to as "edgy" was the fact that those two characters in particular were engaging in a kink, the kink in question didn't matter to me, it was the vast age gap and power imbalance I was taking issue with (although "edgy" was very much the wrong word to use there, I'll admit that).

I stand by my opinion, I don't think anyone should be drawing and posting sexual imagery of such a young character, but what I don't stand by is how I expressed it (I've actually taken Dea's advice and blocked her, I don't want anything to do with her after this point. That being said, Dea, if you're reading this, I apologize for blowing up in your face over this, it was stupid of me to do and I should've just blocked you and moved on from the get-go. This entire situation has been absolute hell on my mental health and I want to move on from it).

I think underage characters should be left untouched, too, for sexual content. It was a commission, though, because Dea posted about opening commissions before and that art was uploaded after somebody commented a request below the commissions opened post.

Anyways, I honestly really appreciate you setting things straight and being apologetic, even if you're remaining anon. That still takes strength. I also appreciate you sticking with your guns without letting yourself be flooded by anger again. I assumed you were dissing cardiophilia because some people do actually misaddress it outside the community after encountering the kink on their own. Some even go as far as to dm a person and insult them directly - Like, we like hearts, not shit, so given everything the heart often embodies, it wouldn't hurt if they used their imagination a little to see what else we might like, right? But I digress. Your response here took some strength to write. On behalf of this community, I thank you. Just continue to take care of yourself.