#and menards which I DONT EVEN NEED TO LEAVE TOWN TO GO TO

[proserpine-in-phases]

I went to a town about an hour away because it has a really nice target and a qdoba, and the town I usually go to doesnt have a qdoba and the target there is dumpy

And then I didnt go to either target OR qdoba 🤦‍♀️

#didnt mean to enbiggen that second paragraph lmao #i went to a joanne fabrics which was in an objectively shittier condition than the one i usually go to #and menards which I DONT EVEN NEED TO LEAVE TOWN TO GO TO #anyway i have a new window ac a clear fabric ruler and laundry detergent which were my list for the day #crap

[foxesareforbiddencats]

The Roommate Chronicles

Part 4.

Alright. So after our annoying trip to Hy-vee we go home and I grill some burgers. I brought out the buns and he looked at them and went 'wtf are those'

I said hamburger buns

He said no they're not.

Uh. Yeah. They are Juan.

No. They're not organic and dont have seeds on top.

OH MY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THEY WERE 8 FOR $1.29 THEY WERE ON SALE AND FRESH FROM THE BAKERY THEYRE REAL HAMBURGER BUNS LEAVE IT ALONE. IF YOU DONT WANT ONE EAT YOUR BURGER WITH A FORK.

He laughs at me. Asshole.

So we go in and eat our burgers. He has a couple beers. I have 3. He falls asleep during our movie while I take a test and do some classwork, wakes up, drinks 3 more. He suddenly realizes he doesnt have time to go to Walmart with me Friday akf he wants ice cream so we gotta go to Walmart. Or he can go to walmart alone.

Well I'm sober so I'll drive. Hes leaning towards tipsy is better if I drive. So we drive to the next town to go to Walmart. We end up at Menards for 45 minutes and he gets an overpriced shower curtain rod. That's it. We discuss furniture and hardware and he asks what I think would look good in the house and suggestions on remodel and what I want.

I'm just renting I dont really feel it should be up to me but eh.

So we go to walmart. I want a 20 gallon bucket. That's all I need. I want to cut a hole in it, put the litterbox and the cat bowls in there so that the dog stays out of it and it stops smelling up the house.

Idk what he wants.

So we're walking down the ailses of walmart at 11 PM. He stops by the pillows and sees one and gets super excited because it's so squishy and shoves it in my face. He asked what I thought of it and I said 'it is nice. But it's also $20-40 per pillow depending on the size and firmness. But theres like $5 pillows right there and too of those are essentially the same feeling.

He is so shocked. Why on earth would I buy cheap pillows?

Um. I have 4 pillows. 2 of them were like $1 each and 2 of them were hand me downs. Apparently that was unacceptable because he insisted that I get one, put it in the cart. Later I put it back with the other pillows and it magically ended up in the cart again so we have matching pillows. We get a few more things. A shower mat, a toilet paper holder, a pasta pot, some random stuff. Then he says he needs shampoo.

Aight. So we go down to that part of Walmart and he stops by the dandruff shampoo and picks up a $30 bottle of shampoo???!!! I was like you do realize there is a $7 bottle of the same stuff with different packaging right there. Look at the ingredients. They. Are. The. Same. This one even smells like eucalyptus.

But the other one works so well.

THIS ONE WORKS TOO. okay. Fine. You know what? It's not my money. It's not my money. I dont have to budget and make sure there's enough money. It's not mine. It's fine.

He asks of I need any. I say I have some. He knows I have travel size bottles and I end up with $7 shampoo because that's the most I can let him spend without losing my shit. Then its razors. I admit I could use a razor and I pick up the 10 pack for 94 cents. We argue. I get 4 razors for $6. Then it's the toothbrushes. Hes looking at $200 electric toothbrushes?!?!?!? WHY. YOU HAVE TO REPLACE IT IN 6 TO 12 MONTHS WHY SPEND 200 BUCKS ON A FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH. I GET MINE FOR FREE

Apparently I shouldnt have said that. Free toothbrushes arent acceptable I guess. The toothbrush I get from the dentist every visit isnt good enough. Neither is the one from my therapist, or the $1 one right in front of us. Or the $3 one. No. He buys me a $5 electric toothbrush in pink and gets the matching blue one. This is considered a compromise and hes now very excited we have matching toothbrushes.

He then gives me shit on the way home for driving 5 over the speed limit, eating ice cream, and using my reading light on the rearview mirror, none of which I can get a ticket for... really dude chill.

Upon discussing this with a friend, I have been told he sounds like a sugar daddy.

I dont know how to feel about this.

It disturbs me.

I'm very gay. I love my girlfriend. We've dated for like 3 almost 4 years... I dont want a sugar daddy. Especially one that isnt my girlfriend.... Thoughts???

#wtf juan #juan #what do i tag this #distressed #youd save so much money #sugar daddy??? #i dont need that rn #i dont need a $20 pillow or electric toothbrush either #is nothing good enough for you #is nothing sacred