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#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’
reenaria
·
10 months
Text
currently having a queer identity crisis on this accursed holiday
#but actually. i’ve realized that like. 95% or more of my attraction to men has been comphet
#i thought it wasn’t because i’ve been more or less identifying as bi since i was 11
#so like. i figured if i didn’t like men at all i would’ve figured it out sooner?
#it wasn’t until a couple years ago that i resolved to stop dating straight & masculine guys because i feel like i’m performing for them
#and my current partner of 2.5 years is amab and socially perceived as a man but he’s bi and sees himself as ‘void of gender’
#which is also the way i see him but not the way most people see him
#he does get mistaken for a woman a fair ammount though. which brings us both a lot of joy lol
#but anyway. my crisis is that i’ve been feeling more and more detached from the bi label because i feel like it implies attraction to men
#and i’ve known for a little while now that i’m almost exclusively attracted to femininity and androgyny
#and primarily attracted to women in general
#like if i weren’t with my partner i would 100% be out there dating women and maybe? identifying as a lesbian
#but i feel like i have no claim to that label especially with my current partner who is not a woman and is much more androgynous than fem
#idk. do i keep calling myself bi? it feels like i’ve slipped away from it
#i’ve been using queer a lot more lately because umbrella terms are the only thing that seem to make sense to me anymore
#i know labels can be super complicated and unhelpful in some cases but i also want to know where my place is in the community ya know?
#i feel so confused without a solid label and it’s causing me a lot more stress than it should
#(also my partner is such a blessing and said he’d be supportive if i ever felt i needed to leave him to be with women)
#(like he said ‘i’d be sad for a while but i’d still be your best friend) and i was just 🥺
#this may be even longer than my last tag novel lmao i just hate the idea of putting this stuff in the body of the post
#anyway if any pals/mutuals read all that and have any insight or advice i’d be curious to hear
#reena.txt
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