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houkagokappa · 5 years

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Sarazanmai Main PV analysis

Third time’s the charm. With Sarazanmai airing tomorrow I finally want to go through the main PV and give you my thoughts and impressions and observations from it.

The timing hasn’t been too bad since the official English subbed trailer came out yesterday when Crunchyroll announced they would add Sarazanmai to their simulcast for Spring 2019.

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I don’t really have any authority to comment on the translation. It’s professionally made and it’s good. There are some translation differences to mine (I never translated the main PV, but they reuse a lot of the phrases I’ve translated in the past). For the most part I’ve been more literal (mainly so that I can retain as much original information as possible, even at the cost of it sounding chunkier).

Japanese is a very contextual language with room for many interpretations, especially when the full context is missing, so seeing differences in the translations are to be expected. The only difference I find eye-catching is the phrase “Suck out the greed” since they clearly use 欲望 desire/lust. Maybe the translator knows something about the upcoming episodes that I don’t?

The PV starts with the same beautiful gloomy music from the Tsunagaru PV and Kazuki jogging/running in Asakusa. He’s wearing the matching bracelet he shares with Enta around his ankle. We specifically see shots of the red Azuma Bridge as well as Tokyo Skytree and Asahi Beer Hall in the background on the other side of the river. The stage is Asakusa alright.

Then there’s this wild spark in the middle of Kazuki’s melancholic narration about wanting to connect but not being able to.

Pink’s an unusual colour for sparks but plays on Ikuhara’s typical use of colours. It seems to be revealing a grid of some sort. This also feels very Ikuhara, he has a habit of combining the whimsical with the mechanical and technical. Think about the whole “ROCK OVER JAPAN” sequence for example.

The tone shifts, the upbeat ending theme “Stand By Me” by the peggies starts playing and Sara greets us cheerfully. She looks like an idol with her sparkling starry eyes and own TV program. The ア is everywhere. It seems to be used in her show a lot. There’s still no indication what exactly it stands for though.

This screenshot is pretty interesting. The text under “Fortune of today” says “lucky selfie divination”. Is Sara a fortune-teller? Are these her mysterious powers in action? The smaller text says “dish. I can’t see regular people. SARAtto report + Looking for the Prince. Characteristics are [ikevo?] a good smell and fair complexion”. Is that going to be Keppi or the mysterious figure from the last chapter of the manga? Or are they the same?

The focus shifts back to Kazuki. He’s talking about only needing three rules in his life, which could be good or a bad depending what those rules are. Okay let’s face it this is Ikuhara they’ll be bad.

First he’s on his phone like in the earlier PV’s and then we see him with the kappazon cardboard box in his hands walking among other people. We get a quick glimpse of a weird golden kappa statue that makes the same kind of pose I assume the boys will do when they transform. What looks like a phone strap with Sara’s kappa-like creature swings by. It’s probably Kazuki’s and he’s a fan of Sara. There’s also a not-so-hidden ア that’s just on a tile on the pavement, showing us that they really are everywhere.

Next up we have Tooi. We’re shown a calendar (that I think is hanging on a classroom wall) with an overview of July and August (covering the summer vacation). Is that when Sarazanmai takes place? The illustrations for the calendar are of kappa. One highlights that kappa like/need water in their “sara” plates, the cavities on top of their heads. The other one depicts their love for sumo-wrestling. These are both typical kappa things we know from having studied the lore!

Tooi himself is along the river talking to his older brother Chikai. “Let’s get this over with. You and I aren’t very different”. There’s also one of the funniest reveals yet when we see Tooi’s weapon up close and it turns out to be a ruler. As a final touch there’s another ア to be seen right next to the brothers.

Then we get Enta’s presentation. At first he’s playing soccer by the river and then we see him holding on to the bracelet he shares with Kazuki. The in-between frame shows us a fish shop. What’s remarkable about it is that all the signs on it say “kiss”. Then we get a kappazon.co.jp box that flies away. Enta talks about having a strong bond that can’t be easily broken. Based on what we know it’s safe to assume he’s talking about Kazuki.

Then things get weirder when it’s Keppi’s time to appear on screen. He’s holding on to a cucumber, which is another thing that kappa love. He tells the boys that they’ve been turned into kappa and that they need to get the zombie shirikodama in order to turn back. We see the boys all slimy and gooey in their new kappa forms. Kazuki still has the box, so it might be something that happens during this walk of his that we’ve been seeing the whole time.

This is a very interesting frame. The pictograms behind the kappa boys look like ghosts. Are they supposed to be the boys’ souls or something like that? Or are they actual spirits wandering around? Story wise them being the boys’ makes more sense, but from an artistic viewpoint I think it’s weird to suddenly draw something that’s part of the main characters in the style that’s deliberately simplified and created for background characters. There’s also the “DO NOT ENTER” sign with the otter symbol and a cross over it. Clearly the otter is unwanted, that’s been confirmed by the Reo and Mabu’s keeponly1luv twitter account as well.

The PV continues with its interesting imagery. The next shot is of this circular shape with the words “no start”, “no end” and “no connection” getting revealed. We’ve heard these words before so they’ll be important. They all tie together, but we’ll have to wait and see just how. It’s possible that they each apply to one of the three boys. Kazuki can’t connect, Enta doesn’t want to let go (end) and Tooi doesn’t want to uhh... get involved and start anything?? I’ll have to think about this more another time, or please send me your theories!

The background isn’t the same as it was for the spark earlier, but it’s the same style. I wonder if it’ll have anything to do with what the cops are up to because they’ll be introduced soon and they were the ones talking about no beginnings or endings.

The PV continues and there’s a small explosion hiding the boys in a cloud of black smoke while they let out a surprised scream.

Then there’s a pling, which I think resembles the sound an elevator makes when it reaches the right floor and opens its doors. The background is a metallic grey so it might as well be where the scene plays out. Reo and Mabu appear with their weird new catchphrase “Suck out the greed” (or desire!) and there’s some mechanical action that starts. Lights get turned on, gauges reach their max and a bunch of signs with the kanji 吸 “suu”, to suck or inhale appears.

I guess this is their machine for sucking out the greed? Or desire. I’ve pointed out the heart in the upper right corner before but it’s worth pointing out again. Earlier I wondered if this machine was somehow alive, but now I’m thinking that it might just stand for “desire”.

This is all controlled by the otters, the next cut shows us otters decals that are peeling. The otters seem to be controlling some circular objects, not unlike the construction we saw light up earlier.

Then there’s the “desire extraction” that covers all of Asakusa. The cops throw their hats. Celebrating their success? In an attempt to be dramatic? You decide.

Next up the opening there “Massara” by KANA-BOON starts playing and we see the three boys striking poses while in their kappa forms. I’m guessing it’s from the actual OP although it might be part of their transformation sequence.

Following this there’s a scene where the otter symbol all over Asakusa (or Sumida where Tokyo Skytree is located) burning red. It definitely looks like a bad infestation. There’s also a spiral with text reaching down from the heavens. The text is the same as we got in the first teaser PV’s and says “CHARGE” and “desire”. As something new there’s also ハコ which is the word for “box” written in katakana. I think this is a reference to the Box Zombie which is supposed to be the first zombie we’ll be introduced to. There are certainly boxes everywhere in the following shots while the zombie seems to have a lust for more cardboard.

Are the otters summoning the zombies? There’s definitely a connection between them.

Then we see Keppi run with a cart (or whatever it’s called) where the kappa boys sit. They seem pretty chill so I wonder if this is after their fight with the zombie? Next up we see one of these legendary shirikodama balls. It’s a ball with the kanji for butt on it. Then the three kappa boys are flying around, apparently connecting through the sarazanmai. They managed to connect in one way at least by holding on to each other’s hands.

I also find this next image interesting, it really plays up the “connection” part of Sarazanmai. We get the ア again and what looks like a mobile signal. It’s a very modern and a very literal interpretation. Ikuhara has mentioned the era of the internet and how easy it is to connect through the use of smartphones and apps several times when he’s talked about the inspirations behind Sarazanmai. Old vs. new has been another topic and this highlights that as well.

After this we see another shot of the Asakusa Sara TV program. The text is the same as previously but this time the image is of a traditionally drawn Japanese woman. Is this where the “old” is brought in?

Then this is another one of my favourite shots! It’s the Niimi Yoshokkiten kitchenware department store, that’s also the building where Reo and Mabu’s “Asakusa Sara Kouban” is located. Their police box/station is the red structure at the bottom of the building and I think we can see their silhouettes inside of it. What I really love about this image though is the otter that’s next to the giant chefs head on top. To be clear, the chef’s head is actually there in real life actual Asakusa while the otter is something the anime added there. I think this highlights the fact that Reo and Mabu are working under the otter (literally! - pun not intended).

The signs on the building are a bit difficult to decipher, but I see ウソ a lot which means lie. There’s also something about the world and food/eating? The text on the top that says “kawau” is probably in reference to “kawauso” which means otter.

As a side note I want to point out that the second teaser PV that featured the otter symbol had a narration about lies and otters. Could it be about Reo and Mabu? Who’s the one with the strong desire…

Right after that split second image we get this one. That’s an otter! Clearly controlling/ordering all the other otters around! Mabu makes a comment that someone tries to get in their way, which we can assume will be the three boys. Are they confirmed villains now? I feel like a lot of people aren’t buying it. With Ikuhara first impressions are often deceiving and characters can have good reasons for their seemingly horrible actions, so I wouldn’t count in it.

Next Asakusa Sara TV reports on flying boxes. The text that is show on screen is absolutely horrible to read and full with silly puns on Sara’s name and her using “dish” instead of “desu”. It’s cute as long as you don’t have to translate it yourself. The time here is 19:00 which makes me think that this PV covers the entire first episode and will end here with this (it was 7:55 at the start).

Reo and Mabu have their little quasi villain speech and then Keppi talks to the boys and says “you’re as dead as you are alive”. Does this have to do with the “turning into kappa” process and the “ghosts” I mentioned earlier? Are the boys’ actually half-alive, half-dead? Isn’t that what zombies are? Suddenly things are starting to make more sense!

There’s quite a lot going on visually. Keppi’s eyes look terrifying. They’re large, read, black and purple. He seems to clapping, so I’m guessing this happens after the boys have dealt with the zombie successfully. One of the ア signs falls down and is heavy enough to break the pavement. There’s a close-up of Kazuki’s face where he looks kind of frightened and surprised and then in classic Ikuhara fashion there’s a shot of hands trying to hold on to each other but not being able to do so. However, unlike in his previous works there are now three of them. It’s most likely for the three boys, although it could also be one boy using both of his hands.

Then there’s text on the screen that says “even if you connect”. Tooi fills in that he “won’t let you have it”, Enta says that he “doesn’t ask for anything else” while Kazuki “can’t bear to lose his connection”. Tooi’s just angsting in front of the lockers, Enta’s shown where he was practising football, but what’s interesting is that he has a kappazon box right next to him. It looks like the one Kazuki was carrying. Could it be the same? Could it have been for him? Kazuki’s chilling somewhere (at home?) out of frame with his phone in his hands. He has the Sara strap on it and a tiny otter icon appears on the screen.

Then the most mysterious thing in the PV happens with all these ア signs flying around and uhh... through Kazuki? The pink things look a little bit like buildings, are they perhaps reflections? The sparkles and the rainbow give this image the impression there’s something reflective. I really don’t have that much else to say although I’d love to be able to do so.

The PV ends with the three boys appearing as kappa yelling “sara” and “sarazanmai”. The final shot shows us the iconic look over Asakusa and Sumida with the tagline “Don’t let go. Desire is your life.” The ア’s are everywhere.

#sarazanmai #sarazanmai thoughts and analysis #sarazanmai nonsense #my nonsense

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manyblinkinglights · 5 years

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Okay this is noteworthy enough to post about, I just had the best/worst nightmare. And returned to it, which NEVER HAPPENS, and was duped into thinking it was real, which also NEVER HAPPENS. So, I’m playing a gba game on my clear plastic violet gba. It’s some weird wrestling game, it’s labelled like a playstation psx port for some reason, menus real slick. Nothing animated though, seems legit, graphics wjll probably be crummy later. But I’m at just the character select part. I have a limited amount of time to pick from a limited amount of duddes for i guess some mtches, so i rck my brains for who I even remember. Out of the first three, I pick, uhh, the guy who whips his operatic leather pants off, and just under time, too, in the second I pick Kota because Kota is on there... this is full dream logic. But then I look up from it and I’m in a hotel room, fine, in my bathrobe, fine, seems real enough. Still dream logic though, because now wrestlers start showing up, but since it’s dream logic I’m struggling to accept (as they trash my room) that this is just, the video game. Me in my robe sort of wndering round watching these performers wreck all the stuff, IS the gba game still. I remark on this to one, Beretta, crazy for just some old gba game isn’t it, and he says oh no, we can check it (confirms game’s online functionality) and I with dawning horror realize that I have made a purchase, for I don’t know how much money, because like six people have cycled through by now and I’m STILL in my BATHROBE, and how much ffdfffucking money is Kota Ibushi going to cost? I am happy this unwitting purchase has resulted in Beretta being there though. The dream fades out because I’m so appalled at the unknown amount of money I have spent; there’s no question of not paying it, these guys (there are female wrestlers too, thanks brain, though brain can’t handle much more than standard bg crowd ratio later on, and I guess some girl slots get wasted on background other hotel guests) are performers and artists and I guess I’ll just? Take out a loan? Take on debt? Anyway I surfsce to reality like a seal—pfoof—to check that omg no this isn’t hapening, and it isn’t, and THEN i get the full creepypsta return to unreality, because in the dream, I wake up in the wreckage of that trashed room, disoriented, it’s too dark to see and I feel groggy but I urgently have to get up and make sure that, before, I was only dreaming, and—oh, man, i raise my head from the weird slightly less trashed thing I’m on instead of either totally blasted hotel bed. The thing I remember choosing to try falling asleep on, out of limited options. It was real. I really mortgaged myself for life accidentally paying for a hunch of huge costumed wrestlers to strut in, posture at each other, and TRASH my HOTEL room, right in front of me, all FOR me, an appalled yet gamely attentive audience of one. It is five in the morning which is why I feel so terrible, but everything is so utterly wrecked I don’t even want to touch any surfaces, and it’s so early i’m not thinking straight. I tuck my robe tighter and duck out across the hall into the nearest lobby bathroom, but oh MAN it’s actually semi populated out here, nothing crazy, still extremely real, jsut “aw dang, kinda busy out here ANNNND YEAH I forgot my key.” as the door closes behind me I catch that it’s room 939 I think, but anyway I use the restroom (the hotel decor remains fncy and on point and my whole fnce room is STILL WRECKED), wash my hands, try to fix my horrible long hair which is of course super greasy and slept on at my temples, and duck bqck out to the desk to get let back in to my room. I’m handed off by the seen-it-all, capable lady to a staff member in training who has a dismally brusque affect and hares off to take forever since I am in my ROBE and don’t have ID, and as I scuttle off to tuck into a conversational nook chair I have the dim realization that wrestlers are percolating in and getting into low-voiced standoffs where I can see them. They are huge and ring-dressed and beautiful, and my brain makes sure to people the crowd with lots of long, luscious, crazy hair. Kota is definitely there but he’s one of the handful in street clothes. So’s pants guy. I struggle to decide that it’s fine I’m greasy and unshaven and STILL in my ROBE because at least this way I am very visibly the same person as yesterday, no trouble identifying me, and wrestling fans are weird right (no, the people I see wt shows all actualky look like they have showered for the occasion!!! but I’m just going to own it because somehow I have PAID FOR ALL OF THESE PEOPLE TO DO AN ENTERTAINMENT, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, FOR ME) The low-voiced little wrestling altercations around me reveal more and more wrestlers, mostly made-up but with extremely real and varying degrees of mainstream wrestling energy, slowly parading out and surrounding the nice conversational hotel chair I’d intended to wait for my room key in. There has to be some other wrestling event on in the first place, I decide, uncertainly, for so many of them to be here and available to do, private parties? I guess?, trying to make sure since some keep glancing at my face that I dutifully allow, even CAUGHT OUT in my ROBE, myself to smile and look excited and appreciative, because I am, I AM happy to see and appreciate their fairly overwhelming spectacle, it is just somewhat nearly outweighed by the whole robe situation. but it’d suck for them to have to perform for a shy audience!! They are all so bright and beautiful. They are surrounding my recliner type chair, which I had retreated into in the first place to shelter in its bulk and degree of social disconnection from the rest of the lobby. So of course now I’m surrounded by huge people aware of and expecting to continue being seen by me... There are so many of them, and they are sleek and energetic and well-taken-care-of looking, and it’s a nice hotel, and I can’t believe I’ve PAID for all this, but goddamn it if I’m gonna be audience VIP of an entire wrestling match, in my robe, which is what they are clearly leading up to, I am going to TOLERATE it. The last snatches of deep-voiced jostling segue into everyone having lined up around my chair. I remember that they are all very strong when a guy i don’t know with crazy long interesting red hair (def still plausible, real and physics-based, i am telling you that this was SO VERY REAL down to the PATTERN on the CARPET, green and blousey hotel pink-red, blowsily floral) steps forward and makes ready to try his strength against my fucking chair. They are going to lift me up in this chair, however many it takes to manage it, and I PAID for it so I am going to be OKAY with it, it is okay definitely worth it but HOWWWW AM I GOING TO PAY FOR THIS, and then at last I DO wake up. That was real “okay this one is reality? No wrestlers? No robe? No accidental electronic purchase??” mood, sharp urgency... Damn

*the obvious-dream first bit actually had them trashing my room with a theatrically rowdy sex party (no, Kota wasn’t there), which I was politely stunned by, since... oh no... my room... its various surfaces, why are you all, here specifically, which made me EXTREMELY “uhhhhh fucked up if true??” when i “woke up” in wreckage obviously left from it, in the cleanest place I could find. What kind of GAME CARTRIDGE was IN that GBA!!!!!! What kind of useless sex dream casts the person dreaming it as an uncertainly amazed onlooker wondering how long until all these people get out of their room, vividly concerned with still being in a robe!!! WERE THEY JUST GONNA LIFT MY CHAIR INTO THE AIR A LITTLE BIT OR WAS I GOING TO HAVE TO PUT UP WITH BEING CARRIED ENTIRELY AWAY, STILL! IN! MY! ROBE! AND! COMMITTED TO CONCEALING MY DISMAY ABOUT IT!

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kronecker-delta · 7 years

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Burning Pain Skeleton Part 3

I particularly didn’t like the Rita Skeeter section of Methods.

That will become clear shortly.

"Do you mind -" said Harry, at the same time as Professor Burning Pain Skeleton began screaming, "I'm afraid I -" Harry wisely stopped, and Professor Burning Pain Skeleton didn't. "- MUST SET THE BALE GEARS TURNING, MY DISCIPLE! AS IT HAS SOMEHOW COME TO BE THAT YOUR MEASLY LIFE IS NOW MY CONCERN I MUST SEE TO IT THAT YOUR FLESH TINDER IS NOT YET COMBUSTED TILL -" "Newsstand," Harry said. "DO NOT INTERUPT ME DISCIPLE!!!” "… Or anywhere I can buy a copy of the Daily Prophet," Harry said meekly, feeling very tiny as the flames rose up around them. Shortly after, Harry had been delivered into a bookstore, accompanied by several loudly spoken, clear threats to life, limb, and spiritual existence. And the shopkeeper had gotten even louder threats, judging by the way he hid behind the counter and the muffled crying sound. Though that might be the fact that Professor Burning Pain Skeleton and books went together rather poorly on the whole. Harry suspected that was the real reason there were no textbooks and no homework in the Defense class. As the bookstore began to burn down, Harry decided he was going to stick around in the middle of the fire until Professor Burning Pain Skeleton got back. It didn’t do well to disobey him. Meanwhile - Harry took a quick glance around. The bookstore seemed rather small and shoddy, with only four rows of bookcases visible amongst the flames, and the nearest shelf Harry's eyes had jumped to seemed to deal with narrow, cheaply bound books with grim titles like The Massacre of Albania in the Fifteenth Century. Though they did burn rather well, so he supposed they weren't entirely useless. First things first. Harry stepped over to the seller's counter. "Pardon me," said Harry, "One copy of the Daily Prophet, please." Only more whimpers issued forth from the trembling man. Harry decided to leave a few Sickles for the cost and quickly prepare to leave the now burning building as the roof gave an unpleasant sound. The headline read: HARRY POTTER SECRETLY BETROTHED TO GINEVRA WEASLEY Harry stared. He lifted the newspaper to his face slowly, softly, reverently, like he was handling an original Escher artwork, and unbent it to read... ...about the evidence that had convinced Rita Skeeter. ...and some interesting further details. ...and yet more evidence. Fred and George had cleared it with their sister first, surely? Yes, of course they had. There was a picture of Ginevra Weasley sighing longingly over what Harry could see, looking closely, was a photo of himself. That had to have been staged. But how on Earth...? Harry was sitting in a cheap folding chair whose metal would not burn, rereading the newspaper for the fourth time, when the door whispered softly and Professor Burning Pain Skeleton came back into the shop. "HATEFUL INFINITIES COMPELL ME TO OFFER MY CONDOLENCES BUT- WHAT ARE YOU READING DISCIPLE!?!" "It would seem," said Harry, awe and fear for the hell mage in his voice, "that one Mr. Arthur Weasley was placed under the Imperius Curse by a Death Eater whom my father killed, thus creating a debt to House Potter, which my father demanded be repaid by the hand in marriage of the recently born Ginevra Weasley. Do people actually do that sort of thing around here?" "HOW COULD THE WORD WITCH BE SO MORONIC?! THIS IS ABSURD EVEN BY THE STANDARDS OF THE MADDENING DREAMLANDS I -" And Professor Burning Pain Skeleton's voice cut off as the furnace slammed shut. One could feel the heat drop noticeable as his skull clamped down on the magma like gullet from which his pulsing heart, a blood red organ of living flame boiled under his smoke robes. Harry had been reading the newspaper held vertically and unfolded, which meant that Professor Burning Pain Skeleton, from where he was standing surrounded by melting cobblestones and dead pigeons that fell from the sky already cooked, could see the text underneath the headline. The look of shock on Professor Burning Pain Skeleton 's face was a work of art almost on par with the newspaper itself. If the paper had been penned by a insane artist, eyes gouged out by his own hands as he stared into the smoky abyss behind the wallpaper… behind the walls of the locked room in which he was trapped. Stared into the face of the forgotten could have-beens and might-haves. The nameless, unnamed horrors of the time before time… Only for his possessed hands, compelled by that dark power to give them freedom, to damn reality with their twisted images and bringing them one step closer to rebirth into the material existence with each new image made. "Don't worry," said Harry cheerfully, "it's all fake." From elsewhere in the store behind them, he heard the shopkeeper scream. There was the sound of a stack of books falling over as the flames consumed another shelf. Soon the building would collapse. It would be best if they left soon. "DISCIPLE..." Professor Burning Pain Skeleton said slowly, so terribly slowly, "ARE YOU CERTAIN OF THESE WORD TRUTHS!?" "Quite sure. Shall we go?" Professor Burning Pain Skeleton nodded but once, looking rather abstracted… like part of him was elsewhere, hidden between angles, and Harry folded the newspaper back up, and followed him out of the door. Or at least a door. For some reason Harry didn't seem to be hearing any street noises now. Nor could he see the streets… there was naught but the flaming spectre, surrounded by an infinite abyss that stretched from horizon to horizon. They walked in silence for thirty seconds before Professor Burning Pain Skeleton spoke. "THE OBSESSED WITCH SPIED UPON THE WORTHLESS WIZARD MEETING! SHE DID THIS TO FIND OUT WHO AMONGST THE MISERABLE FEMALES OF YOUR RACE YOU ARE TO BREED WITH! WHY?! I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!! YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO MATE, AND YOU DO NOT HAVE THE TEMPERAMENT TO DO SO!! NOR DO I SEE YOU AS USEFUL FOR SUCH PURPOSES!! YOU WOULD DO BETTER AS A CASTRATED EUNUCH DEVOTED TO ME AND ME ALONE!!!!" "Yes," Harry said. Choosing not to respond to Professor Burning Pain Skeleton’s remarks. It would be best not to make him follow through with his statements about Harry’s worthlessness as a… well man in the general sense. "THE ORIGINAL RECORDS WERE VIEWED BY HER FOR THIS!!!!" "Yes." "EVEN I AM BARRED FROM DOING SO!! ANCIENT MAGICS OF THE INCUBUS AND THAT INCESTUOUS WITCH KEEP ME FROM SETTING FOOT THERE!!!" "Really?" said Harry. "Because if my suspicions are correct, this was done by a Hogwarts student." "THAT IS INSANE!! YOU ARE INSANE," Professor Burning Pain Skeleton screamed flatly, as if his words could in fact flatten Harry. They very well could in all likelihood. "DISCIPLE I FEEL THAT THIS GIRL CHILD THINKS TO WED YOU! THOUGH WHY AND HOW I CANNOT GUESS!! THIS AFFAIR, AND THE OBSESSION OF YOUR FLESH ORGANS NEED TO PROCREATE FILLS ME WHICH SUCH PERFECT INFINITE HATE! HATE THAT THERE ARE NO WORDS, NO THOUGHTS, NO COMPREHENSION OF ITS GLORY!!!" "But that is improbable," said Harry continued, trying to remain in control of a conversation rapidly falling off a cliff. "To quote Douglas Adams, the impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks." "I DO NOT COMPREHEND THIS IDIOCY," Professor Burning Pain Skeleton said slowly. Each word loud and final as the sparks drifted from his maw. "DISCIPLE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!! WHY?! WHY!? WHY!?! WHY DO THIS?! WHY DOES ANYONE CARE!? TO CHANGE THE MEETINGS RECORDS FOR THIS OF ALL THINGS?! FOR THE GRAND GOBLIN TO SEAL THIS TWISTED MOCKERY WITH HIS PERMISSION!! FOR THERE TO EVEN BE AGREEMENT OF MARRIAGE THAT WOULD REQUIRE SUCH NONSENSE!! NO ONE REQUIRES THIS IF THEY WISH TO BREED THEIR CHILDREN LIKE HORSES!!! WHY, EXPLAIN THIS TO ME DISCIPLE?!! HOW DID THE WITCH WRITER COME TO BELIEVE THIS TO BE TRUE?! IS SHE TAKEN BY FIRE RAVAGES, HER MIND BROKEN BY SWEET MADNESS?! OR HAVE I TRULY LOST MYSELF TO A WORLD EVEN MORE WORTHLESS THAN THE ONE I FIND EACH BALEFUL DAWN WHEN THE SUN RISES ONCE MORE UPON ITS UNBURNED EXISTENCE!!?!” "Indeed," said Harry, "you would expect the Grand Manager of Gringotts to get involved with that much money changing hands. It seems Mr. Weasley was greatly in debt, and so demanded an additional payment of ten thousand Galleons -" "TEN THOUSAND OF YOU MOLTEN GOLD TRINKETS FOR ONE SOUL?!! WHY!? HOW?! SLAVERY IS NOT LEGAL HERE… I CHECKED?!! AND HOW COULD ANY OF THIS BE TRUE?!" "Excuse me," Harry said. "I really have to ask at this point, do people actually do that sort of thing around here -" "NO, THAT WOULD BE STUPID!! WHO WOULD EVEN ADMIT TO SUCH," screamed Professor Burning Pain Skeleton, with a frown on his face as black ichor boiled and bubbled from his fangs.. "PERHAPS WHEN LAST THE DARK ONE RULED, I- HE INTENDED TO RETURN SLAVERY TO THIS LAND AS A READY SOURCE OF SACRIFICES, BUT EVEN THAN THAT PRICE IS ABSURD!!” "He didn't have any choice," said Harry. "Not if he wanted to fulfill the conditions of the prophecy." "GIVE," screamed Professor Burning Pain Skeleton with such rage that the air crackled with red on black lightning, and the newspaper leaped out of Harry's hand so fast that he got a paper cut. Harry automatically put the finger in his mouth to suck on, feeling rather shocked, and turned to remonstrate with Professor Burning Pain Skeleton - Professor Burning Pain Skeleton had stopped short in the middle of the street, and his eyes were glowing balefully as an invisible force held the newspaper suspended before him. Surrounded by an orange aura that was potent enough to keep it from instantly being engulfed in flames. Though even that magic did not keep it from smoldering at the edges. Harry watched, gaping in open awe, as the newspaper opened to reveal pages two and three. And not much long after, four and five. It was like the man had cast off a pretense of mortality… and Harry was quite impressed by someone having the ability to skim a newspaper article. And after a troublingly short time, the paper neatly folded itself up again. Professor Burning Pain Skeleton touched it once, and it was reduced to ash in an instant. "THIS," said Professor Burning Pain Skeleton, "CANNOT BE! NO PROPECHY WOULD BE SO PETTY AND WORTHLESS… AND IF IT WERE SO I FEEL LIKE I MUST KILL ALL INVOLVED!!” Harry nodded, still stunned. "THE HORSE MEN COULD HAVE BEEN SMOKE ADDLED," Professor Burning Pain Skeleton said, frowning harder still, till his skull seemed to crack and fangs became tusks, "IF I MUST PRETEND THIS MADNESS HAS PURPOSE!! HELL SORCERY COULD FORCE THE GOBLIN KING TO COMPLY!! SKIN SHIFTERS COULD PRETEND TO BE THOSE WHO THEY ARE NOT!!! AND IF ONE WAS MAD AND FOCUSED ENOUGH THEY COULD STEAL INTO THE SECURE VAULTS AND CHANGE THE RECORDS!! BUT, AGAIN WHY?!" "I do not have one single plausible hypothesis," said Harry. "I do know it was done on a total budget of forty Galleons." Professor Burning Pain Skeleton stopped short and whirled on Harry, a tornado of flame surrounding him as he did so. His expression was now completely furious. A sane man would have died from fright. "FORTY?! FORTY!? THAT DOES NOT TELL ME WHY!! AND HOW WOULD THAT PAY FOR THIS INSANITY!?!!" Harry shrugged helplessly. "I'll remember that the next time I want to save thirty-nine thousand, nine hundred and sixty Galleons by finding the right contractor." "I SAY THIS TOO OFTEN NOW," said Professor Burning Pain Skeleton. "BUT I WISH ALL EXISTENCE WOULD BURN FOR THE CRIME OF ALLOWING YOUR PLAN TO WORK." "Likewise?” said Harry, not at all certain what he should be feeling at the moment. "SO WHO WAS THE IMPOSSIBLY SKILLED IDIOT THAT HELPED YOU!?" "I'm afraid I couldn't say." Somewhat to Harry's surprise, Professor Burning Pain Skeleton made no objection to this. He could see his shoulders slump in defeat as if the weight of this event had broken something within the hate filled flame spirit. Though still he could feel the hell flames hunger for him as they continued to walk down the street.

#writing #my dumb fanfic stuff #burning pain skeleton #HP MOR

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