#and sometimes that lil nugget of knowledge is bearable but tied to that is the correlated fact that i have never received romantic love

[salvebellaluna]

ahahahahaha

#i'm here to be OBNOXIOUS in the tags like its 2015 because at present i have no therapist and i've been holding in a lot of thoughts #so right off the bat i'm 25 years old and aside from 1 month when i was 17 years old no one has ever called me their girlfriend #and sometimes that lil nugget of knowledge is bearable but tied to that is the correlated fact that i have never received romantic love #which... wooooo! thats a real fucking bummer #and since moving out age 23 like i've been trying to meet people! put myself out there and go out on dates! #but i've gone on dates with nearly 50 men in less than 2 years and not a single one has worked out for longer than... 3mo? #i lost 60 pounds to try to be more conventionally attractive #and still absolutely no one finds me worthy of their love #and my dating app match numbers are dwindling and i'm beginning to fear that i've truly run out of options in my area #and so now what? #i just die alone? #thats what it feels like very genuinely like it feels like i put up the good fight but unfortunately i was always doomed to lose #i should just accept my fate as a lonely loveless scorned woman who cries at the faintest hint of compassion for her #nothing in my life has turned out the way i wanted other than having a dog #i was supposed to be married to the love of my life with a higher education degree and a small starter house for the family i'd have #i'm a degree-less single woman living in a 1br condo with an evil russian old lady neighbor and an income that barely supports my dog #look at me go