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lurkernolonger · 7 years

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Siren (3/4)

Hey friends. Here is the penultimate chapter. I started off so excited for this AU and now, half way in, the struggle has been real. I think I jumped the gun and ran with it without any real planning and, wow, was that stupid. That being said, it's been getting a lot of support from the emus (though that is nothing new; you guys are too lovely) so thank you! This was my favourite chapter, but after reading it about 238 times I’m not so sure anymore. Sorry if it’s shit. x

Trigger warning: Descriptions of fire.

It's their fourth date in three weeks. If it was up to Finn there wouldn't have been a day without seeing her, but his work schedule keeps conflicting with hers. He loves his job but it doesn't exactly afford him enough personal time. In fact after tonight will be a four day stretch of 12 hour shifts, all of which will keep him away from Rae. Finn hates that. They've only just gotten into a groove with one another; to a point where she doesn't hesitate to touch him and he's stopped profusely perspiring around her. Finn worries the time apart will make them lose momentum from the direction they're hurtling. And he means hurtling. Finn's never wanted to move this fast with anyone before. He can't get enough of her, doesn't think he ever will. It's absurd that even when she's right there, hand in his, he's thinking of ways to get closer, and closer still. They haven't talked about labels or exclusivity, but to him there's no one else and he hopes to whatever higher power there is that it's the same for her.

They're walking to Rae's from dinner after a lazy afternoon of browsing through the record shop and stealing kisses behind album covers. In all his brooding about being away from her, Finn hasn't realized he's been silently frowning at the ground.

“You alright?” Rae shakes their joined hands a little to get his attention.

“Yeah, soz.” Finn gives her a smile before dropping her hand to tuck her right into his side. “Just thinking how shit it's gonna be not seeing you for a while.”

“It's only a week.”

They've reached her building and Finn spins her so she's angled on the stone wall, hands moving under her jacket to cup her waist. “S'too long,” he mumbles against her skin as he nuzzles into her neck. “Mmm. Maybe you'll just have to set fire to something to get me to come rescue you.” He peppers tiny kisses along her jawline and when he feels her hands thread through his hair he circles his arms around her to pull her tight against him.

Rae moves both hands to his neck and uses her hold to push his head away so she can look at him. He's sure she must feel how his blood is rushing through his jugular. “Are you asking me to commit arson, Finnley?!” she asks with dramatized indignation.

“Mmhm. I'd visit you in jail and everything. Think of the conjugal visits.” Finn waggles his brows at her and she throws her head back in mirth, affording him another chance to assault her throat. He feels her laughter rumble through his chest and he's certain he's never been this happy.

“You're awful.” Rae giggles, before playfully biting the apple of his cheek.

Finn wrinkles his nose and pulls her even closer. Always closer. “Awful...ly cute? Fit? Handsome?”

Rae shakes her head, lips caught between her teeth to keep the grinning at bay. “Nope, just awful.” Finn pouts and Rae presses her thumb to his bottom lip before leaning forward to capture it between her own. It's meant to be chaste, but then Finn's tongue snakes it's way into her mouth and it's anything but quick. Rae's the one to pull away, taking a steadying breath with her. Finn touches his forehead to hers as she plays with the lapel of his coat. “Do you want to come up for a bit?”

He's never been inside her flat before, and he finds that all he can imagine about it is the various pieces of furniture he could lay her down on. It makes him nervous to think about her chairs, her sofa, her bed. Finn's never thought twice about sleeping with a woman he's been dating before, never worried about the first time being just right, but this is different. Rae is different. She's not some first meet fuck; far from it. Their first kiss after their first date had made him rue the fact that he needed oxygen. He was certain had he not had to breathe he would have happily stayed attached to her for hours. It was worth a thousand embarrassments, and he had gained another when she gently chuckled at his awestruck wordless staring after he'd regretfully pulled away. He knew then that Rae was the last of his firsts: dates, kisses, loves.

“Finn?” Rae's voice is quiet now, hesitant even, and he realizes he hasn't answered. “It's alright if you don't want -”

“I do! Fuck, yes. I really really do,” he rushes out, words tripping over reassurance. Smooth, Finn. He pecks the tip of her nose, a physical full stop to his declaration, then moves to kiss her on the mouth so her eyes will close and maybe she won't see how flustered he feels. Rae kisses him back in kind, and Finn wonders if he's imagining the tiny tremble of her lips.

Rae leads him upstairs with a quick hello to her elderly neighbour from the floor below, Mrs. Dewhurst, who shoots Finn a warning glare before shuffling down the corridor. Once they're behind her door Finn's nerves go into overdrive. He knew she was brilliant, but being in her space proves that Rae is his actual soul mate. The place is so her and it's uncanny how much of her is just like him. They have the same posters, the same vinyls in the same crates, the same brand of beer, the same issues of the same magazines stacked on coffee tables from the same shop. The idea that someone who fits him so perfectly has existed this whole time is ridiculous, and he finds he's irrationally frustrated with the universe for not meeting her sooner.

They talk and laugh until the evening turns to stars but Finn doesn't spend the night. As much as he wants to stay, he won't let their first time be followed by him rushing out for work. He tells himself it's for her sake, but he knows between them she is the stronger one and he couldn't – wouldn't – leave her come morning. He does, however, reach for her hips and dips and lips but his hands are hungry for much more than that. Finn figures maybe if he holds her tight enough his volition will press into her skin like his fingers do and she'll feel what he does. So he allows his mouth to do the convincing; kissing her into her chairs, her sofa, her bed and eventually, reluctantly, the front door.

“That was the side, and you fucking know it!”

“Are you blind, mate? That was the corner!”

“I reckon it was the edge.”

“Well does the edge count as the surface or the side?”

Finn shakes his head and chuckles at Chop and the other lads who have been arguing over a game of table tennis for the entire duration of Champagne Supernova playing through his headphones. He saw the rally and knows Chop deserves the point but decides to let them squabble, returning to the notebook in front of him. It's the second round of his 12 hour shifts and he's spent his down time compiling a track list for a mixtape. Finn tells himself it's just another one targeted for a certain mood, but can't deny the only mood he's been feeling is head in the fucking clouds happy. He defends himself internally over the fact that more than half the songs are about a woman, but when one of the others passes too close he snaps the notebook shut anyway. He doesn't need the ribbing. Chop had given him enough of that when bloody Archie had told him about Finn's night with Rae. Apparently they had that bet (or in the case, lack there of) going as well. Wankers.

The alarm blares overhead and all games and lists are abandoned for coats and helmets. They pile into the truck and it's warning sound peals loudly as they veer out of the garage. Finn inhales deep and focuses on staying calm.

When he first signed up for service at 18 it was just a job. He wasn't interested in uni and his GCSEs made the requirements. The physical test had been a breeze and he was always good with tools. His dad had been thrilled that he was helping the community, and his nan would boast to all her friends that her grandson was saving lives. It was all well and good until the first fire.

It was a tiny home on the outskirts of town. An elderly man living alone had forgotten to shut off the hob and a grease fire broke. They had managed to save most of the house, but the man had passed in hospital from smoke inhalation. Finn had nightmares for weeks; the images of fumes and flames and blackened skin haunting him. It was a reality kick in the bollocks, but instead of quitting Finn had buckled down, trained harder, learned more, determined to do whatever it took to never have that outcome again.

Now, years later, his death count is still at one and it isn't just a job anymore, it's a duty. One that requires him to remember that anything could be waiting at the other end of the siren.

"Quick ride this time, boys," Chop announces from the driver's seat.

Finn glances out the window and notices familiar surroundings. His stomach twists uncomfortably as they pass the cafe and head up the road. "Where?" Finn asks. The others exchange worried glances at the shake in his voice. "Chop, where?"

Chop rattles off an address and Finn's chest starts to heave. "Who called it in?!" he demands.

Chop gives him a concerned look through the rear view mirror before glancing down. “According to dispatch it was a tenant named Rachel Earl."

No. NO. Nonononono... Whether he's voicing it out loud or it's just screaming in his head Finn's not sure. From the looks of the others it's both. His mind is swirling with possibilities as he recalls all of his stupid jokes about eulogies and fake fires and he might actually vomit at the thought that it could be real. Finn senses panic rise like bile in his throat and he feels like the fire is right there, inside the truck, because his lungs are burning and he can't breathe. Wide eyes are cast to him all around and he sees creased brows and moving mouths but all he hears is his pounding heart and the deafening cry of the siren. Chop has pulled over and Finn pushes his way out. He feels tears prick his eyes as he looks up at Rae's building, the air is blurred with smog and an angry orange glow illuminates the windows of her floor. Finn feels hands grabbing for his arms but all protocol is out the window as he pushes them off and runs towards the building. People are yelling and crying and running all around him but it's only one face he's looking for.

"Rae! Rae! RAE!!" His voice sounds foreign to his own ears, jarring and desperate, and reflects the frenzy he feels. He doesn't see her anywhere and his frantic eyes only catch a glimpse of a livid Chop coming towards him. He can't stop now though. Not until he finds her. Not until she's safe. Not until he knows she won't be number two.

Finn darts for the entrance, only pausing to hold it open for a woman and her child who come running out. He's taking the stairs two, three at a time searching every corner for anything, anyone. The higher he climbs the hotter it gets. The air is so thick with heat that he's practically choking but he can't tell if it's on smoke or fear. When he reaches her floor he nearly topples back down the stairs from the sight. Aggressive flames lick the length of the hall as fumes curl tightly in the air. The flats have their doors wide open and he takes it as a good sign; they'd left, escaped. He knows he should turn around, get back to the crew, back to safety, back to cleaner air and cooler temperatures, but then he sees one shut door and the need for reassurance wins out as he stumbles towards it. Rae's door. The same door he'd kissed her against but two days ago. Finn tests the handle and finds it hot but not unbearable and he kicks at the lock until it gives. His eyes sting as he takes in the room. The atmosphere is acrid with melted plastic and for a nanosecond he mourns the loss of the vinyl but his next thought is that he would gladly destroy his entire collection to know Rae was safe.

“RAE?! RAE?!” If his voice was different before, it's unrecognizable now. It's rough and raspy and claws at the dense air demanding an answer. Finn moves where he can, watching all the things that were so her, and by extension him, catch and crumble in the flaming waves. He's coughing now, dizzy; the room and his lungs deprived of oxygen. Suddenly he hears his name, loud and almost as desperate. Finn turns to find the source only to see a support beam come crashing from the ceiling blocking his exit. He hears his name one more time, closer now, before his vision goes black and his body succumbs to the pulsing heat.

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#mmfd #mmfdfanfic #mmfd fanfiction #mmfd fan fiction #mmfd fanfic #Rinn #siren #My Mad Fat Fandom #my mad fat diary #i wrote this

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