#and that's what got me back into pokémon Properly. back into it as an Autism Special Interest type beat | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

qualquercoisa945 · 1 year

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I posted 4,182 times in 2022

That's 1,505 more posts than 2021!

11 posts created (0%)

4,171 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lastoneout

@argentavis

@the-jennnster

@perennii

I tagged 211 of my posts in 2022

#kho don't look - 13 posts

#ask memes - 5 posts

#themb - 4 posts

#icarus answers - 3 posts

#please - 3 posts

#a h - 3 posts

#okay but like - 2 posts

#oh yes - 2 posts

#my god bless whoever made this - 2 posts

#i will die on this hill - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 112 characters

#yes he's a tragic motherfucker and the fact that i stole his name probably says something about my mental health

My Top Posts in 2022:

∞

song: downtown blues by ben below feat. rachel l hughes

lyric: one winter you're an over achiever, next spring you're just another deceiver

2 notes - Posted August 8, 2022

uh oh besties. i might come back. with pokemon fanfic.

3 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

"i like your president!"

thanks i stole it from the shoelaces

-my friend

4 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

i feel like an important context to me as a person is that like.

so i used to watch a lot of steven universe comic compilations back when i was like... 11, i would say

and like obviously there were comic DUB compilations but what i mean is comic compilations, which were just the comics passing through the screen with music in the background

and i remember the main channel that i watched would change the music up like, once every like 10 to 15 episodes right, of the comic compilations series

and one of the songs they picked, for, again, 10 to 15 episodes of a steven universe comic compilation series, was a mountain goats song

and keep in mind i was like 11, at most 12 right? like i had never heard of the mountain goats before this, i BARELY spoke english, and i wouldn't Truly Care about the mountain goats until i was 16, so at least 4 years later

and um, the way i PROPERLY got into the mountain goats was like, a friend of mine recommended me this year and i spent an afternoon listening to it and cleaning my bedside desk on january 2nd, 2021

but like, me and that friend would sometimes get on voice chat and listen to tmg albums like he'd show them to me and my now partner

and anyways imagine the whiplash when i realized that someone out there set 10 to 15 episodes of a steven universe comic compilation series to no children by the mountain goats

anyways if you've ever wondered why i can't take no children seriously, that is why

4 notes - Posted March 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

--☆ Basics ☆--

hi!! my name's icarus, amongst other names, which you can find here!!

i'm 17, and i use the following pronouns:

he/him/his/his/himself

they/them/their/theirs/themselves

it/it/its/its/itself

fae/faer/faers/faers/faerself

voi/void/voids/voids/voidself

end/end/ends/ends/endself

prince/prince/princes/princes/princeself

and any other neos!! those are just my favourites

i like tons of things, but my main special interest that i will actually post about is pokémon. i have autism and adhd, so hyperfixations come and go as they please, so i can't promise any consistency in what i post, but i can promise i'll try to be at least mildly entertaining while on my bullshit

--☆ Disclaimers ☆--

while i forget to tag things very often, i am always open to being told i have to tag them!! please tell me if you need anything tagged, i can't promise it'll be consistent but i'll do my best

while i don't have the patience nor do i pay enough attention to enforce a dni, i want it to be very clear that i am pro black lives matter, pro queer people (including trans people, neopronoun users and xenogender users) and most things that people find "weird" or "cringy", and anti ableism, anti terfs, anti transabled, anti transage, anti transrace, and generally anti things that actually hurt people. proceed at your own discretion, and be aware that i might block you at any point if i find you interacting with me makes me uncomfortable in any way, shape, or form

--☆ Useful Tags/Links ☆--

Carrd

Writing Masterpost

PFP Credit

Banner Credit

Ask Memes (tag i use so people (including me) can find the latest ask meme i reblogged)

Icarus Answers (tag i use so people can see all my asks)

Icarus Rambles (tag i use so people can see all my original posts that aren't writing)

--☆Userboxes☆--

(under a cut, so the post isn't any longer than it already is)

See the full post

6 notes - Posted August 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post

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decayingblorg · 1 year

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31/12/2022

I know I am posting this after midnight so it’s technically my 1/1 post, but we shall let this one slide!

Not much happened today really. Just spent the most of it chomping on sweets, drinking alcohol and playing my 3DS

But there is something I would like to reflect on. Truth be told I have always found it incredibly difficult to make friends (it doesn’t help with other issues I have). And has always been a struggle. I grew up feeling “different” and not like I fit in anywhere! I wanted to impress people to they’d like me and want to be “friends” with me. (In later life I was diagnosed with Aspergers. Explains the lack of social etiquette and seeing the world rather differently than the majority of others) and when I left school and a year into college all the people I thought were my friends decided to stab many a knife in my back and stay befriended with the manipulative prick incase they upset him. A grown man can only get friends by bulling people? Says alot about you, arse wipe. All my so called “friends” abandoned me for him incase they made him upset. This boy and his behaviour wasn’t just pointed at me. He used to insult and pick on other kids who were maybe abit bigger than others and or had some form of disability, he was that wretched and disgusting and I was the only one who would tell him to stop bullying people just because they look abit different. Everyone else around us would just play along and laugh at his disturbing ways. (His bullying has gone onto affect me in adulthood which has lead into mental health issues) and I wasn’t afraid to be without all of them. They’re fine to stick with the fat cunt all they like! And continue to be blind to his manipulative machinations! Anyway, getting abit off track there. Even writing about the pratt does still kinda get under my skin. But new year coming up, new start for sure!

Anyway! I have always had that struggle and never truly understood why. But when I was younger my sibling played a game series called Final Fantasy and I was in awe of it because it was something I’d never properly got into before! There was this whole world in several disks for exploring!? Hell yeah, let’s go! And there is what started my love for Final Fantasy as a whole. I was originally bummed I could never get FF11 (I was only a teenager when it came out and obviously wasn’t old enough to play the game and or have a subscription).

So my love of Final Fantasy remained a constant in my life. Through all the hard ships, the constant bullying, the insults and even some of the fights I’ve gotten into. There was that one happiness which spurred me onto keep going, that excitement of escaping to another world and not be in the shite known as reality… I sort of didn’t really think much about it much through most of my teens/older teens and was just into all sorts of anime/manga and things happened and I got abandoned a second time. But that is a story for another day. Obviously from it happening a second time, it really took its toll on me and just made me feel like a loner and an odd one out. Luckily come college I found a few friends and they were great and I still talk to one of them even now (I’ll use the term talk rather loosely there) and a girl there; Louise really did make me feel okay to continue to be different, she wasn’t put off by me or any of my strange behaviour! (It was Autism the entire time)! Sort of went own ways after college but we send each other gifts on Pokémon Go! Real friendship right there! Anyway!

But I’d sort of started drifting away from anime/manga and found myself turning to a game called Final Fantasy XIV which hadn’t long been released and I remember watching my sibling playing it and I really wanted to play it! Always so much hype over a main line Final Fantasy game! (Although we don’t talk about the XIII trilogy) But then the game shut down and that was an end of 1.0 and then I remember a few years later in 2012 they’re were relaunching FFXIV but as A Realm Reborn and I knew that I was going to get into this! I was determined to! A main line Final Fantasy game? Sign me up! Especially meaning that I can experience the game finally! Brought the collectors edition, installed it onto my PS3 and away we go.

Instantly got into it and remember making my first character. He was on Odin and I loved him. A male, blue and white haired Miqo’te (a playable cat race in XIV) and I instantly fell in love with him. I completed everything in that but wanted to go again. So I made the same named character over on Moogle and goodness me am I glad I decided to do that.

I met someone ingame shouting about a free company (XIVs version of a guild) and unbeknownst to myself I was letting myself into a whole different world! I met a friend called “Vapa” and this was in like 2013 we met and became fast friends and got into the game and knowing the leaders and that and we were all firm friends, raiding for awhile and then people started getting bored of playing and would sort of just go off for awhile and randomly appear one day in the future. So I decided to make a Tumblr account for other Moogle players to communicate with and that (there was a whole linkshell made and everything for that, but then stuff happened and it sort of died off) anyway, and Vapa was also a admin for that page and he found two people on Tumblr, on our server that wanted to meet others aswell! (This was all before discord! Back in our day we used teamspeak xD) and so Aida and Mia appeared and now we ended up just chatting and also went onto chatting on PlayStation (Aida also played on ps3 so understands the hardships of XIV on such a console lol) and then Aida came his new boyfriend Lupus who Aida introduced to the game and that was the start of something truly exceptional and remarkable for me. (I also joined a free company before meeting these four and I ended up changing my character from make to female because it felt like “I was living a lie” and now she is female and I haven’t changed it back)!

But still. Meeting them all was great! We’d chat often! Have a laugh and a joke and it was real nice just being yourself and just having a laugh with your friends. Now that is a curious word, with my friends? I barely understood the concept after all the shit I’ve had to endure! But it was the start of a genuine friendship and I never knew how far it would go! But it continued! We played, laughed and just enjoyed playing the game and each others company. Sadly Vapa and I had been out of touch and stuff happened which meant I have to leave him behind for awhile (he had gotten in deep with a particular ginger haired twat being manipulative. I was afraid of being abandoned again and had to just take that step away from him for awhile).

And then it would be that I met a new FC which was shouting saying they were looking for members. And it had happened again. A friendship started emerging from that. Arty, Papa, Hek, Elora and after awhile; Joey would lead onto something just as great as what happened with Mia, Aida and Lupus. It was the start of a friendship that I didn’t think I was ever capable! But they’re a real thing! We all started talking as a group, chatting, laughing and having fun evenings playing all sorts of games and even though I’d not met any of them in person, I knew I wanted them to continue being my friend! And I think that was in like 2015? (That is also the year Aida and Lupus became best friends ;)).

They’ve been there through some of the darkest times in my life. When I went to go and jump off a multi-storey car park because I was just not coping with the continued progress of OCD and how it completely took over my life and I didn’t want to live that way, I couldn’t cope with the constant anxiety in your head, having to do things in certain ways, doing things in even numbers, even avoid going out at a certain time of day was the scariest thing in the world! And I had come to that conclusion that I didn’t want this life, I wanted to end it all, I wanted to die.

Something stopped me that day and I do believe it is their influence/friendship was one of the thing that made me pull back and call for the help that I needed. I ended up calling the police, they come and blocked off the road below and got me away from the tiny wall which was blocking me from my certain demise below. Ended up being sectioned and spent the best part of 2 months in a mental health ward. Then covid struck and was sort of forced out of hospital early so I didn’t get the proper care needed. Went on for sometime and I went to go and top myself again, once more knowing this could be it. But again, called for help. Did a short stint in hospital and was out. Was back in again about 2-3 weeks later. Spent my 2020/21 Christmas and new year in a hospital ward and because I didn’t have my mobile, it was alot harder than you think.

But despite it all, they were my constant. They were my means to go on and strive to get a handle on this. Their love and kindness was one of the things that spured me to continue fighting and get stronger. Truth be told it was all their support (and my family) which wanted me to keep getting stronger. I love each of them very much and all mean a great deal to me. And these were friends who DIDNT abandon me, despite the things I was saying and doing. Their beings transcend such a beacon of light to my life I never knew was capable. Hek, Arty, Papa, Mia, Lupus, Elora and Aida are all extra special and amazing and their love is what makes life worth living alot more. Alot more than wanting to take my own life.

My long standing friend Vapa we did finally talk again and I am so glad we did. He’d gotten himself out of the grasp of that ginger haired twat and we started speaking again. Full glad am I that it happened. He has been there since the beginning and will hopefully continue to be in the future! (It’s been like nearly 9-10 years we’ve known each other haha).

Even after being friends with these people for a good number of years now, I’d always felt I was somewhere I belong. They’ve never been a judgemental bunch of people, just loving and embracing each other for who we are. Being unproblematic themselves and embracing everyone else just for who they are. I longed when I was a kid to find that place I belonged. It took like 22 years, but it happened. Finally, after searching for so long. I can be somewhere I won’t be judged for being different and I can just be myself. Everyone to be honest has their own unique traits aswell and we don’t judge each other for it, we just love each other as we are, just ourselves. We all come from such different walks of life and it just seemed right place, right time happened. I can be my autistic, asexual self and feel liked and wanted. I know this is overly mushy and I usually only save these moments when I’ve had one to many to drink, SO HERE WE ARE! They are each unique, special and wonderful. Each individual has played a part in my life to make it for the better for sure!

But I went from being a lost, 20 year old adult, with no job, high anxiety and just being alone. To actually realising that people do, out there, like you and can be accepting of who you are. To again, that one constant. It all comes back to Final Fantasy. My need to play XIV for myself brought these people into my lives and it’s why I love Final Fantasy so much. In dark times. I looked to the light of FF and found a whole new world, including amazing friends and my blue and white haired cat girl! My WoL is one of my favourite characters because without her, I wouldn’t of met anyone like I have.

If you’ve made it through that long essay then bloody hell, wtf you wasting your time here for!? I’ve been at this for like 45 minutes, I’ve just not wanted to stop writing about my friends. I care for them all and it’s nice to have the feeling returned! (Atleast I hope so xD)

It’s like 2 in the morning here, but I just wanted to get that off my chest/out of my head. I do have other friends I’ve met through various different stages in life but they are a story for another day.

I have other friends also, but they’re in abit of a different category. (Nothing bad I should note! It’s more meeting loads of new people and making new friends on Instagram and they’re totally a story did another day also)

To cut a long story short, I’m super lucky to have these people in my lives and I hope they continue to for years to come! I will be back at blogging tomorrow when it’s 1/1 and it’s my XIV OCs Birthday! I always enjoy celebrating it because she just means a huge deal for me.

AGAIN. FINAL FANTASY. CENTER OF THE WORLD!

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