#and the universe showed me the tip of the iceberg

[ironcuddlystark]

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#I said what’s the worst that could happen #and the universe showed me the tip of the iceberg #I was bored and I wasn’t thinking when I decided that dating again maybe was a good idea #because it had been a while and I had a lot of time to do whatever I wanted and I said hey #this person seems nice so let’s try this out #only to realize they were manipulating me every second we spent together and somehow I was the one to blame when I said enough #but I’m weak and dumb and I don’t know how to properly set boundaries and say no #or even stand up for myself so the tip of the iceberg started getting bigger and bigger #and suddenly I was being horribly manipulated and I didn’t know what to do or what to say and everythit was wrong wrong wrong #I was trapped and I felt so alone even when I had a lot of people on my side #eventually I found an excuse in college in covid in fear but it wasn’t enough to keep them away #and I’m weak so I can’t delete them from my social media because I feel guilty and like it’s somehow unwarranted #and that’s why I’m always alone alone alone because I don’t know how to say not how to set boundaries how to stand up for myself #so people see my weaknesses and they exploit them and take advantage and manipulate me and guilt trip me into coming back #because surely I won’t be able to resist if you’re using my vulnerabilities against me #and my friends say I don’t own anyone shit and that it’s okay to cut this person off from my life because I come first #and no baby it’s not normal to cry every time you get a notification that they still react to your post #but I’m dumb and stupid and weak and for the love of god please leave me alone #and now it’s the middle of the night and my friends are sleep and there’s no one around to tell me fuck it #I’m scared and I don’t know what to do and I’m so unbelievably tired of feeling like this #please just leave me alone