#and then she like. guides ast*rion through her recovery

[ashcreepcluster]

I just wanna harp on about my hc’s for Ast*rion fora minute teehee (censoring the name bc I do not want to be associated w fans of the character this post is for me and my five followers ONLY)

So she was born to an upper class family (duh) to a highly masculine home (masculine for an elves at any rate) She was kind of the pale faced middle child, constantly shown up by two overachieving brothers whom she was always compared against- her father would needle her over this all the time, telling her what she was doing wasn’t good enough, that she was a disappointment etc. However her mother adored and doted on her- Ast*rion always got the sense that her mother wasn’t liked or respected in the household and as such, her mother kind of took it upon herself to groom Ast*rion into being proof that the both of them were capable of something. So she tried to get Ast*rion into law school, which she failed because her entire childhood was either being spoiled rotten by her mother or being berated to by her father, to which her typical reaction would be to simply dig her heels in (like trying to get a husky to go in a direction the dog doesn’t want to. They just plant their feet and won’t move) so her mother paid for her entry into law school instead. All throughout her studies, Ast*rion spent her parents money to go to high class, overpriced wine bars in the upper city to complain about her family to whomever would listen. I think she would’ve had one or two boyfriends but she was so self absorbed that they barely registered to her, other than things to complain at. The relationships never lasted long. Her mother absolutely paid for her to pass the bar (I don’t think Ast*rion’s stupid, I do think she’s lazy and selfish and wouldn’t’ve tried at all)

As for transitioning, I think because she’s from such a high control masculine environment where she’s never had a choice for herself before, where being a woman is silently looked down upon, I think she would have the desire to transition but would have no idea what to do with it- too afraid to make this huge change in her life but at the same time, it’s too much of an essential thing to deny. So I think it would have been this hidden thing that would’ve come out one day and she would have pursued transition but it would take a very long time. It’s only once she’s out from under C*zador’s control that she’ll finally allow such a precious part her to be acknowledged once again. I think for a very long time, it was her one last hold-out, a bastion or something to be cherished that was hidden, hers and this one last mote of hope that one day she could have a future that was all hers.

#words #transfem ast*rion… my angel #but yeah she was always a brat for sure… my honeymuffin teehee #anyway this is def a case of this character becoming mine lol #like this is def ooc but 🤷‍♂️ you know how it is #when I wrote her alongside my tav it was from the point of view of #two victims of abuse #with one being much further down the line irt her recovering #and then she like. guides ast*rion through her recovery #so its a lot. softer. than in game. #bc my tav just wouldn’t tolerate being manipulated #though she approaches the camp the exact same way as astarion #shes got 18 charisma lol. shes much more adept #anyway. i hope this doesn’t appear infantilising #it more like. i wish i had someone who had gone thru what i had #guiding me through the aftermath of trauma