#and there's So Much in anthy's line even without hypothetical misgendering

[transmascutena]

these lines hit different when you read utena as transmasc

#i mean the first one is really awful regardless. #pretty sure i read somewhere that the words akio uses means something along the lines of 'you really should remain a child' #as opposed to 'you really should remain the gender that you are.' which speaks to his whole thing about keeping these kids from growing up #and there's So Much in anthy's line even without hypothetical misgendering #anyway the au where utena has already transitioned by the time he gets to ohtori is really good #and i of course have lots of headcanons about post-ohtori utena and gender #but i've been thinking about one where he's actively questioning while he's there and is not out to anyone. #and i guess not a lot would really change but akio's attempt at making utena more feminine would have a whole other layer of awful to it #and unfortunately i think in this scenario the first person he would come out to would be akio. which is so sad #like maybe it could be anthy but idk. i think it would be something he'd be apprehensive to be open about with her #(in the show utena does tend to be more vulnerable with akio than with anthy. at least the vulnerability with him comes first. #he's her go-to person for advice in the black rose arc and utena doesn't really begin opening up to anthy like that until the third arc) #maybe i should write something for this au. i can see it so clearly. #utena talking about his confusing gender feelings in one of those black rose scenes in the planetarium #and akio doing that thing where he sounds supportive and helpful but absolutely isn't. #that fake sympathy that's actually really patronizing and condescending and dismissive but subtly enough that utena doesn't realize it #and THEN the contrast when utena finally talks to anthy about it and she empathises by talking about her own confusing gender feelings #(transfem anthy realness !!!!!) #oh wow i did not mean to write so much in the tags #revolutionary girl utena #utena tenjou #my posts