#and they don’t. ignore you. fasghgshsh okay that’s enough of that I’d rather not feel anything and I often wish to have never been close to

[peapod20001]

Hope everyone is having a good Tuesday <3

#vent #I’m uh. definitely feeling some sort of way haha loolollol #I’m having sooo many thoughts rn is a </3 not feel good hooho #I had to make myself eat a snack less I starve for the following hours #waow what a lovely way to spend valentines: alone at school. alone at home. alone at dentist. then alone at home again <3 #hm hm it’s ok it’s been like his for as long as I remember #I just have only recently become aware of it #and acknowledged it #*ahem* well uhm <3 anyways ahahshgoo #what was I tryna say uhhmm. valentines today #it’s a day that exists definitely lol hmm ya idk what happened for me to think like this again but here I am since. 6am </3 #hohoooho bro wtf why am I suddenly so desperate for people and relationships and attention and commitment #wagg I just got overly fucked up over losing a friend in 2018 and just haven’t been the same since </3 just slightly worse </3 #hm I keep on thinking about all my misfortunes thru life and all the instances that. looking back on. were me being bullied </3 sosoo havaga #yeaa. friends don’t pull out chairs from under you and make you cripple yourself from hitting your tail bone </3 and they don’t confuse you #on whether or not they like you for entire week </3 and they shouldn’t ignore you when your sitting in the backseat with bird shit on your #head cus you were the one thing in an entire empty parking lot that made a good target for a bird </3 and they don’t laugh when you get your #face obliterated by basketballs and kickballs and soccer balls and softballs and volley balls and foam balls etc. #and they don’t. ignore you. fasghgshsh okay that’s enough of that I’d rather not feel anything and I often wish to have never been close to #anyone because I’m only left with bad hollow memories when they aren’t around anymore #gghoovo g h iugghq guugg what mental illness is it when your head and face is hot from thinking lots #but your body is cold and unfeeling from lack of feeling #idk mAnnn #jus vibinn jus thinkin and vibin #I’ll be ok I’ve made it this far yknow and I don’t think I have any permanent physical damage so 👌 #can’t say the same for my neurons lol but they’re still kickin