#and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated

[oatbugs]

the way my heart sank . lol

#tried to get on a call to study w my gf bc weve both been avoiding stuff we Have to do and its been making us anxious #but esp her bc shes been in this cycle for a while and shes struggling w it a lot . and i love her and i want the best for her #and all my friends r like u should push each other to do better even if its uncomfortable somewhat and i agree #so we were like. yh lets do stuff / get on our work tmrw even tho its anxiety-inducing etc...and then we got on a call #and this is the most like. bored/displeased ive ever heard her sound like she seemed extremely disinterested and even mildly irritated #and it honestly shocked me ??? so i ended the call bc i need to do work and it was making me sad #and im trying to listen to words more than tone but it was so extreme and such a sudden change that it literally wasnt good for me . im so #confused rn . like ik facing tasks youve been avoiding for months causes anxiety ik theres like a mental block around it that makes u not #want to deal w it or become irritated at ppl who suggest that you should #but omg?? it was so weird and like. when i said she was making me sad so i wanted to end the call she was like. ok 😐 #which is a fair response ig but shes never responded to me that way b4...like what is this what is happening... #i want smn who encourages me to move forward and who appreciated that i want them to do the same #instead of staying stagnant and anxious for months. i talked abt this before on here and everyone collectively was like Be More Patient and #work through it w her etc etc (my friends said the exact opposite tho) and i have been Trying To but its making me feel actively . bad. #like. im Afraid. #to bring it up . and then when i finally did say yh lets do smth lets get thru this tgth she just shut down on me somehow #idk what else i can do #i will talk to her abt it later i just need to work rn. i had to get this out of my system first. #shes so sweet and wonderful and supportive usually. but when it comes to thsi topic. im rly shocked idk #i knew she felt bad abt it but i thought she agreed to move through it w me and i didnt expect her to direct it at me #like whatever i said shed give me the coldest ok 😐. like. again nothing inherently wrong w that but when contrasted w #the way she talks to me usually there IS smth wrong it . its jarring and uncomfortable and made me rly upset bc it felt like she was mad at #me for trying to help . idk #UGH whatever ill talk 2 her later i have to do this lecture itll help distract me