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arcanelaurels · 6 years

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Can you write something whete Taako does something that makes Madame Director really miss their sibling relationship during the stolen Century...but she has to be the boss now (sorry for the specificity 😅)

Listen,,, I read this ask and was literally like “Is this person reading my goddamn mind right now??” Because I’ve literally had almost a full fic for this exact concept hanging in my drafts for a week now but I haven’t had a chance to edit and post it until you blessed me with this request so thank you.

Please don’t ever apologize for requesting Taako and Lucretia dynamic bc I love that shit and could write a five page paper on why it should’ve been more of a thing in the actual podcast

(also it just occurred to me that this may not be as lighthearted as you might’ve been hoping for but feel free to request a more lighthearted one if you want)

“Taako, are you well?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! You’re not my mom!”

Lucretia bit her tongue to prevent from outwardly reacting to that. It was uncanny how often these boys would react to things the way they used to when the whole crew was together, despite their memory loss. The first few times it had happened - back when they’d first joined the Bureau - she would have moments of panic and wondered if they actually remembered some things, if there were things she’d forgotten to remove.

They didn’t, though. The voidfish did its job well. Still, Taako’s words threw her off a bit. It wasn’t the first time he’d ever said that to her, but she knew he wouldn’t remember the actual first time.

Cycle 4 was the first time Lup died. The world they’d landed in was in a post-apocalyptic sort of state, and was largely unpopulated, save for a few survivors. A couple months in, the crew had decided that the location they’d landed in wasn’t ideal, and moved the Starblaster. When they landed again, Taako and Lup had been sent out on a scouting mission to further detail what surrounded them. The two had unknowingly wandered into a rogue’s territory, and he got the drop on them, stabbing Lup in the heart. Taako had immediately rounded on him and killed him, but the damage was done. Lup was dead before the rogue hit the ground.

Everyone knew by then, of course, that death wasn’t permanent. Not for them. Still, in the early days it was hard to deal with it when someone died. And Lup’s absence was felt more than anyone had previously anticipated.

Back then, four years had seemed like a lot of time to the crew that had yet to know just how much time they were going to spend together. By that point, everyone had thought they knew pretty much all there was to know about each other. What no one knew, though, was how different Taako would be without Lup.

For weeks, he was sullen and stuck to his cabin. Everyone understood. Well, they tried to. No one really knew how to understand the bond that existed between the twins. But they understood that he needed time to come to terms with Lup’s absence, even if it was only temporary.

After about a month, Taako started reappearing, and on most days he seemed almost back to normal. But there was a definite lack of energy from him without Lup to bring him out of his shell. And there was the occasional day where he would retreat into his cabin and refuse to eat or talk to anyone.

On one such day a few months after Lup’s death, it was just Lucretia and Taako on the Starblaster. Everyone else had gone off on separate missions, and the two had been left to stay with the ship, just in case.

Taking a breath to brace herself, Lucretia balanced the tray she was holding in one hand and used the other to knock on Taako’s door. “Taako?”

No response. She let herself in. Taako was lying on his bed, facing the wall that it was up against. He didn’t turn around to acknowledge her as she walked in, but she could tell he was awake.

She hesitated for a moment before speaking. “I...brought you some soup.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

No response. Lucretia frowned and placed the tray on the end table near his bed. She gingerly sat on the edge of his bed, turning her head a bit so she could see him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine! You’re not my mom!” He sounded annoyed.

“I-I wasn’t-” Lucretia sighed, turning so her back was to him. She folded her hands in her lap and stared at them, trying to figure out how to word what she wanted to say. She was much worse with her words out loud as opposed to in writing. Maybe she should’ve written something out beforehand. No, it probably would’ve seemed less genuine.

She took a breath. “Taako-”

“Save it.”

Surprised at the interruption, Lucretia turned to face him. He was still facing the wall. “Sorry?” She asked.

“I’ve heard the speech a hundred times from everyone else,” He said. After a beat, he twisted around a bit so he could look at her. “I know Lup’s coming back after this cycle, okay? It doesn’t make it any easier.”

Lucretia frowned. “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”

Taako stared at her for a moment before turning back to face the wall. She turned her back to him again.

“I-I was just going to say...” She trailed off, trying to figure out her wording. “I know that none of us can really understand what you’re going through. I’ve never had siblings, myself, but my moms...” She trailed off again. “When we left our homeworld and I left them behind and that...that thing that’s following us attacked, I actually, uh, cried myself to sleep every night for months.”

She heard Taako move - maybe to turn and look at her again - but she didn’t turn around to face him. It was easier to talk when she didn’t have to see other people react.

She continued. “But I, uh, now I think of you - and Magnus, and Lup, and everyone else of course - I think of all of you as my family, now. And that...that makes it just a bit easier for me when I wonder what happened to my parents. What happened to everything that thing consumes. And I-I know that none of us could ever replace Lup for you, but-”

Her words were cut off when Taako unexpectedly threw his arm around her from behind, his head buried in her shoulder. She felt her eyes tear up reflexively, and blinked rapidly in order to quell them. Taako was only a casually physical person; he would prop an elbow on others’ shoulders while standing or even lay across people’s laps when he was bored. But when it came to emotional touching, he preferred to avoid it, so Lucretia knew that this hug wasn’t a small gesture for him.

“I’m sorry,” He murmured into her shoulder, so quiet she almost didn’t hear it.

She swallowed, praying that her voice wouldn’t break when she spoke. “For what?”

He let go of her and she turned to face him as he leaned back against the wall, sitting up now. He crossed his arms and looked away, his ears flattening as if he were embarrassed that he’d just hugged her.

“I’ve never thought of that,” He said. “Of how you - all of you - everyone else had family that was left behind when we had to escape. Family you couldn’t save.”

Lucretia was conscious of how odd it was to hear him speak without his usual added-in phrases. Taako took a breath. “For most of my life, Lup was all I ever had for family, but at least we managed to stay together. I can’t imagine if I’d had to leave her behind.”

Lucretia recalled how the twins had fought to both go on the Starblaster. The IPRE had originally only allowed for six crew members, but when only one of the twins was accepted (the rest of the crew never knew which one), they both fought tooth and nail, arguing that the ship needed two Arcanists/Chefs until the Institute relented.

They were both silent for a while, neither knowing what to say. After a few moments, Taako reached over and picked up the tray that Lucretia had set down on his bedside table. He took a spoonful of it and put it in his mouth, then promptly spat it back out.

“What the hell is in this? It’s awful!” He said, laughing.

Lucretia felt her face burn. “I-I’m not really a cook. I just threw some stuff in the pot.”

Taako made a face and gingerly put the tray back on the table. “Well, we need to fix that immediately, homie.” He pushed past her and stood up. “I know Magnus can make a decent pot roast, but if none of the rest of you chuckleheads can cook and Lup and I both beef it next cycle, you’re all up shit creek.”

Lucretia couldn’t help but chuckle as she stood up to follow him out of the room.

He turned his head slightly as he walked. “And you better bring a fresh journal, ‘cuz I know you love to take notes and apparently I have a lot to teach you.”

After that, Taako was more or less back to normal for the rest of the cycle, though he was still a bit distant. After it ended and Lup was rethreaded back onto the ship, the first thing Taako did was tackle her with a hug while everyone else moved closer to welcome Lup back.

“Aw, what? Did you miss me or somethin’?” Lup asked her brother.

“Pfft, no,” Taako rolled his eyes, letting go of Lup and moving to prop an elbow up on Lucretia’s shoulder. “In fact, I replaced you,” He said.

Looking back, Lucretia realized that she should’ve known how much losing Lup would change Taako. She wished she could redo it somehow, but she knew that wasn’t possible. What’s done is done.

She pulled herself out of her thoughts and back to the present, to the mission she was about to send these three on. Merle was saying something about how she always referred to them as “boys" and they were complaining about all of the training she’d been putting them through.

Lucretia struggled to find her words. “I, I know and I’m… I’m sorry for leaning on you as hard as I have been lately, I just...” She sighed. “I know what’s waiting for you on your next mission and I just want you to be at peak performance.”

She continued on, confessing the truth about what had happened to her in Wonderland and sending them on their way. For a moment, when she’d taken down the illusion on her portrait for them, she was afraid that seeing her younger self would somehow jog their memories. But it didn’t. Of course it didn’t. You can’t jog memories that aren’t there anymore.

She sighed and put her head in her hands after they left. If they came back - no, when they came back, she corrected herself, as if changing the wording of her thoughts would make it more probable. When they came back, she owed them an explanation. They deserved to know the truth, and they were going to find out eventually. It couldn’t stay hidden for much longer.

She looked back on the memories that she had, bonding with each of them on the Starblaster. She knew it would never be the same after they found out what she’d done. Taako would never forgive her, especially after he realized that Lup was...

Lucretia was going to have to live with it. After all, how could she expect Taako to forgive her when she knew she could never forgive herself?

#taz balance #the adventure zone #taako #taz lucretia #taz stolen century #laurelscribbles #fairylightsinautumn

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