#and yes Peach deadass sent 8 Toads before she thought to call Luigi

[snazzy-suit]

Luigi’s Spectral Services, or Luigi: Liaison of Ghosts (snippet)

The latest footage of Luigi’s Mansion 3 has inspired me to re-visit an AU I’d been casually working on. 

Basically, after the events of LM: Dark Moon, Luigi slowly becomes more and more comfortable around ghosts to the point where he’s rarely bothered by them anymore (the artwork of Luigi hanging out with the ghosts in the end credits was what inspired this AU in the first place). In fact, he starts a business that focuses on building a more positive relationship between spirits and mortals. Luigi will still capture ghosts if they are causing trouble and can’t be reasoned with, but he tries to find more peaceful solutions whenever possible. As he’ll often tell people, he’s more of a mediator than a ghost hunter nowadays. 

But don’t think Luigi’s newfound courage is universal. He’s still afraid of things like monsters, awkward social situations, door to door salesmen, etc. so that much hasn’t changed. Luigi will always be our lovable chicken of a dork.

tldr; Luigi’s braver around ghosts. He’s just trying to help.

Anyhoo, this is a snippet from one of the many drabbles I have floating around on google drive. I hope to start posting this series on Ao3 soon. It’s not going to be a full length story, just a bunch of loosely connected one/two shots that take place in this AU.

==

Ethereal laughter abruptly floods the foyer—the distinct sound undoubtedly belonging to a gaggle of Boos. A nearby grandfather clock booms to life, its chimes growing progressively more warped with each thundering gong. An array of cuckoo clocks takes this as their cue to join in on the dissonance. Picture frames and grand portraits rattle on the walls with the intensity of an earthquake.

Luigi watches as a line of candles spanning the left and right side of the room gradually ignite with violet colored flames. A faint tinkling sound draws the plumber’s attention to a massive, elaborate chandelier hanging high above him in the center of the foyer. As it ignites with its own ghostly light, he takes several large steps back, ensuring that he is clear of the fixture’s fall radius should the spirits decide to indulge in yet another haunting classic. Luigi observes this all play out in quiet exasperation.

Boos—always ones for the dramatic.

“Hey, um, I don’t mean to be rude, but can we wrap this up? It looks like it’s going to rain soon and I didn’t think to bring an umbrella—”

The din suddenly stops. Then, just as abruptly, an old umbrella falls in front of the plumber, causing the latter to jolt in surprise.

“…Really? All this racket, and that’s the thing that startles you?”

Luigi looks up from the unexpected offering to find the king of all Boos himself hovering just out of reach. Behind the spectral monarch looms a row of Boos all clutching noise makers (was one of them carrying a kazoo?) and random house-hold items. Each of the spirits wears expressions with varying levels of disappointment. King Boo, however, just seems unimpressed.

“Um…thanks for the umbrella?” Luigi ventures, not really knowing how to respond.

King Boo merely rolls his eyes and waves a stubby arm to dismiss his loyal subjects. They depart with a groan, letting their things drop to the floor in a noisy clatter.  

“Ever since you grew a spine you’ve been absolutely no fun, you know that?” the monarch grumbles.

“I’m…sorry?”

“Don’t patronize me,” he growls drawing nearer, “Now, to what honor do I owe this little visit, hmm?”

Luigi blinks, forgetting himself for a moment, before snapping back to attention.

“Oh! Right.” He retrieves the envelope and extends it to the looming spirit. “I’m here to deliver this letter from Princess Peach.”

King Boo arcs a brow at the offering and slowly accepts it with a questioning gaze.

“That ditzy damsel had you come all this way to give me mail? Doesn’t she have Toads to handle such a menial task? Why not send one of them?”

“She did,” Luigi gives the Boo a pointed look, “They never came back.”

“Hmm. They sound incompetent. The princess didn’t have to bother you just because one little fungus baby couldn’t do their job. She could have just sent another one.”

“She sent eight.”

“That many? How tragic.”

“Can you please let them go?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Luigi runs a hand down his face; they’d come back to it later.

“Fine. Let’s just focus on the letter for now,” he sighs.

King Boo hums noncommittally. He turns the envelope intangible and removes the carefully folded letter, tossing the former away where it bursts into supernatural flames before raining down into a tiny pile of ash. Luigi stares after the remains with pinched brows.

“…was that really necessary?”

“I don’t have fingers.”

“That’s not…never mind.”

The ghostly monarch unfolds the parchment and carefully reads over its contents. Luigi awkwardly, but patiently, shifts in place while he waits for the Boo to complete their scrutiny. He takes to examining the antique umbrella with dull interest.

“You’re inviting me to play tennis?”

The plumber jumps at the abrupt question, the query sounding impossibly loud in the near silent mansion. In his surprise he accidentally triggers the umbrella’s opening mechanism, startling him further. King Boo’s magenta eyes flash with amusement.

“It’s bad luck to open those indoors, you know,” he cackles.

“So I’ve heard,” Luigi retorts, sounding flustered as he struggles to close the device.

“I should consider adding umbrellas to my haunts,” the monarch muses aloud, “Are you alarmed by other weather protective gear, dear Luigi? Rainboots? Mittens, perhaps? Oooo how about a sled? I know that last one isn’t technically meant to protect you from the elements, but you mortals sure did make a big deal about one in a comedic film I saw several decades ago.”

“That wasn’t a comedy.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Very.”

“Interesting. It would seem mortals and Boos have different ideas of what constitutes as humor, because there’s no way this,” he holds out the letter, shaking it with emphasis, “isn’t a joke.”

“Why would it be a joke?”

“How could it not be?” the king scoffs. “You want me to team up with Bowser in a doubles tennis match against you and your brother. Why in stars name would I want to do that?”

“It’s for a charity fundraiser.”

“You say that like I care.”

“I don’t get it…I thought you’d jump at the chance to beat me and Mario.”

“Under different circumstances, you would be correct,” King Boo agrees, “but not if it means sharing the credit with that walking soup dish.”

“Oh come on, it’s for a good cause!”

“Still don’t care. It sounds positively boring, anyway. Do you honestly expect that people will pay to watch such a snooze fest?”

Luigi gives the spirit a bewildered look.

“It’s the Mario Bros. against two of the Mushroom Kingdom’s biggest villains. How is that boring?”

King Boo’s eyes narrow dangerously.

“…I’m in a fairly good mood, so I’m going to pretend you didn’t just lump me together with that hack,” he hisses, “But to answer your question, it’s because what you’re proposing is played out. Heroes vs. Villains, seriously? Why would anyone want to fork over coins to see something that happens on a near weekly basis? Worse, it would be on a tennis court of all things. Talk about dull!”

Luigi’s shoulders hunch as he heaves a weary breath.

“What would you suggest we do instead?”

King Boo almost seems surprised by the question, like he didn’t expect the plumber to value his input. The spectral monarch falls into a brief, contemplative silence as Luigi patiently waits for a reply.

He begins to regret asking when a devious grin suddenly stretches across the king’s face.

“I’ll participate in your silly little game on one condition,” the Boo purrs, fangs flashing in the lavender light of Luigi’s torch.

“…and what’s that?”

“You and I are on a team.”

#luigi #king boo #luigi's mansion #luigi's mansion dark moon #luigi's mansion 3 #fanfic #hey remember that tennis comic with Luigi and King Boo? #yeah this is what it's based on #or...this is based on it? #I don't remember which I made first #anyhoo I have way too much fun writing King Boo #He is the king of salt and overall pettiness #you can't convince me otherwise #a rosebud reference? In MY mario fanfic? It's more likely than you think #and yes Peach deadass sent 8 Toads before she thought to call Luigi #best frenemies #snippet #suit speaks