#anyway he’s doing like a postgrad in geology now somewhere. i bet she’s mad. she was one of those parents who hires like a billion tutors

[fingertipsmp3]

Living in a small town for pretty much all your life is like being in a sitcom that’s been going on for way too long

#you end up being like ‘it’s season 27. why are we now bringing back a character who hasn’t been seen since season 16’ #aka guy i had a crush on in secondary school’s mom is in my pilates class #ya girl never forgets a face so as soon as she walked in i was like ‘i Know her. i swear to god i know her’ my mom was like ‘you don’t know #anything’ i was like ‘hush. it’ll come to me’ #it bothered me throughout the whole class but then at the end i walked out into the church car park and literally laughed #she has a personalised number plate with her surname and first initial. i turned to my mom and was like ‘don’t ever tell me i don’t know #something ever again’ she’s like ‘what’ because she’s not even familiar with this person as a concept #so i have to explain about the time this boy turned up at my house unannounced and was like ‘do you want to go for a walk’ and i was like #‘hell yeah’ so we went back to his house and his three dogs jumped all over me and his mom asked me about a bazillion questions #that was 11 years ago #i have not seen her since that day but i swear to you i remembered her. i just couldn’t figure out from where until i saw the car #anyway he’s doing like a postgrad in geology now somewhere. i bet she’s mad. she was one of those parents who hires like a billion tutors #and hopes their kid will become a doctor. babe your first mistake was sending him to a state comprehensive with a bad ofsted rating 👍🏻 #literally just pretending to be catholic long enough to get him into the catholic school would’ve done way more than hiring tutors #and it would’ve been free! no one can tell me lying to the church gets you nothing #my best friend from primary school went there and got to do free violin lessons and learn german; japanese and french AND they had macs #meanwhile i was playing cricket without a bat because our school couldn’t afford bats. life isn’t fair #personal