#anyway i have thoughts please send me anon hate at your leisure

[sumeshi-t]

when to shutcho bitchass up.

so i had this long ass reply as i was about to reblog a haikyuu writer’s response to a hate ask but i had to eat lunch, and my wifi’s acting up so it all got deleted. but anyway, after lurking in the shadows for god knows how long, i decided to speak up about this on-going issue of hate being poorly masked as “constructive criticism”. 

it doesn’t just happen on haikyuu blogs, like, every fandom has it. and it saddens me because i’ve seen the greatest blogs out here just vanish into thin air (or has gone on hiatus and never returned/archived the blog/deactivated) for getting hate that they absolutely do not deserve. nobody does. nobody needs that hate; not now not ever. most often than not, there are people who hide behind the anon feature in asks. but i guess some people lately have now learned how to own up to their own mistakes; and yes, everyone’s opinion is valid, is welcome to be entertained; however the way you word these things out also matters. it’s just like when someone writes something, you know? why do you get to complain, “your writing suckxz” when you can’t even write down why you think so? lol gtfo. people can interpret your words in however way they want, and that’s the one thing you cannot control. so at least, when you attempt to apologize for something you “didn’t mean to” or “was just a joke”, at least make it sound like you mean it. if you want your opinion to be taken seriously, learn how to say it with manners.

anyway, this post will be terribly long, probably longer than the shit i’ve ever written anywhere lmao. some of the things i’ll say here might come off as redundant but because the same thing happens over and over again, what else would you expect?

Exhibit A: “constructive criticism” does not mean, or shall never be equated to “hate”

if you go around tumblr, there are tons of posts which educate people how to properly write a critique, how to decently and reasonably critic someone’s work, whether it be in the form of writing, or digital art, etc. even if you type “constructive criticism” on that google search bar, tons of websites are going to tell you how to do it, so it really is unacceptable to use “it’s constructive criticism” as an excuse when all you’ve said is “your writing sucks”. literally, how can “constructive criticism” go from “you’re not even a good writer, why the hype?” to “you’re too positive, too fake, if you’re sad, show that you’re sad.” that ain’t it chief. constructive criticism is given to the works of a content creator, not directed at the content creator itself.

ever heard of the sandwich method? yeah, yummy and easy, right? basically it means, you start it off with the positive things about the content creator, then the negative ones in the middle, then reinforce them at the end. okay, i’ll repeat that here, let me break it down if that isn’t enough for cute little noggins to understand:

tell the content creator what made you hooked on their works in the first place. what made you indulge in all that deliciously free content, that has brought you to tears, to laughs, to orgasm. you don’t necessarily have to praise them, but acknowledge that you’re aware of what they’re doing and how it is, or how their progress is so far.

now here comes the critique part. this where the “however” and the “but” words come in, to transition from (for example) “your way with words is breathtaking” to “sometimes i feel they’re too much to digest all at once”. get it? pinpoint to the content creator just exactly what aspects in their current state do you wish they could improve on, or areas do you think they are lacking or weak, so to speak. be concise, be comprehensive, be nice.

lastly, my favorite part, is you give them tips or advice or just a fucking hint how you think they can achieve the things you said from #2. even if you know or assume that they’d understand your point, or “it’s their job to find it out by themselves”... well, a little input or jumpstart wouldn’t hurt, would it? so from the example, “your way with words is breathtaking” to “(however) sometimes i feel they’re too much to digest all at once” you end it with a, “i think or why don’t you try doing so, and this, and that,”

lemme go back to the “it’s their job to find it out by themselves” aha, news flash honey: this isn’t their job. it’s their way of enjoyment, their leisure, their free time that they use up just to bring out free content for lots of people like you to indulge in. most people come here, or on ao3, or basically anywhere where you can post your work, just for fun. you cannot be demanding, that’s why they have their rules and all, but i digress. content creators feed on feedback, and feedback alone. i hope you have an idea how something as simple as “asdflkjshdls” in the tags can bring a phat smile to a content creator’s face, what more, if it’s something coherent. just fucking keyboard smash is a boost to their confidence (trust me, it’s very fun knowing that how “asdfgjkl” i was when writing something, is the same as the “asdfgjkl” the readers had when reading)

this sandwich method thing doesn’t only apply to this certain situation. in fact, this is an effective means of communicating your point across to people in school, at work, and even in the comforts of your home. right? 

didn’t you feel bad when your teacher returned your paper to you and just said, “i gave you that grade just because” and nothing more? or when that classmate of yours said, “no, i don’t like this idea. think up of something else” for a project? didn’t you ever question them, “why, and on what basis?” 

how about, when your boss returned your report, only saying, “revise this” but what is “this”? sure, there are bosses who do this to try to teach their employees to find things out and find solutions on their own, but you cannot deny that some are just being disgustingly rude about it. 

how about at home you say? well... remember that time when your parents compared you to their friends’ children, or even compared you among your own siblings? or that time you were lashed out on? actually, you know, what, i’m sorry for bringing this up, as light as this was worded out, some people might get triggered simply from those two phrases i put out. however, i will address this issue next.

Exhibit B: you don’t know the people you are talking to, therefore you do not know what they are going through

you can’t say, “oh, you’re all just so sensitive” or “it’s just an opinion” when clearly, this (tw: depression, suicide, family issues, gender and sexuality, body positivity, etc) topics is/are sensitive to most content creators, to most people. some brush it off fine, and take a while to reach their boiling point, but not everyone’s like that. you can’t tell people how they should react to your random spewing of hate. each person has their own level of tolerance, so don’t go off and assume that everybody online is the same and grew from the same fucking tree. 

some or most people use writing/drawing/etc. as a means to cope with what shit life has thrown at them; and then you, being so stupidly ignorant, just waltz in and drop that bomb on what possibly, could be the only ray of sunlight they have in their life, especially now in this bleak year. 

receiving anon-hate or hate-asks should not be the norm. it is not and never will be okay. i thought you were here to critic their work, why even joke about something that could have been personal to someone? why even joke about these kinds of things in the first place? why even bring up something that might have been a personal issue when all you had to do was critic their work? 

my god, stop acting like a boomer already. tbh the audacity of some people here, idk. if you’re not going through anything at all, then may god/brahma/allah/whichever supreme being you believe in or whatever good karma it is, bless you. 

it’s not that one should sympathize, or, it isn’t also expected of people to full on empathize, but a little respect goes a long way. why don’t we try to put ourselves in the shoes of the person we’re about to send that hate-ask to. if not us, how about that close friend who’s easy to bring to tears, or mom, or cousin? wouldn’t it be aggravating? wouldn’t it be painful?

well... who am i to assume, i don’t even know you. get it?

just please, acknowledge that everyone here is human. they have emotions, they have their own thoughts, they have their own lives outside of the screen. how they choose to portray themselves here has nothing to do with you. how they choose to react to that hate ask doesn’t have to do with anything you should concern yourself with. 

LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS. LET PEOPLE LIVE THEIR LIFE THEIR OWN WAY, both virtual and in reality. 

i know this post won’t get too far, but i have had enough of seeing the nicest people, who just wanted to express their creativity and share the happiness and the fun, be put down just because of unnecessary hate. i hope those people who send those in never get to experience that, or if they have, i hope they understand that doing so to others isn’t going to change anything about themselves.

#no to anon hate #stop hating #everybody is human #APPRECIATE CONTENT CREATORS #ITS FREE REAL ESTATE #spread love not hate #spread legs not hate #leesten

[timetravelingheart]

My Side of the Fence Part Seventeen: A.M. Imagine

For those concerned about a heartbreaking moment, it does not appear in this chapter (this one actually turned out quite fluffy!) but it is on its way. This chapter kind of sets up that moment. That’s as spoilery as I’ll get since this is all still a work in progress and ever-changing! Thank you for following along. I love when you send in ideas that fit these characters SO well; it’s like you’re in my head! 

ALSO - to the anon who sent in the Vance Joy “I’m With You” song association, thank you! I thought this would be an appropriate time, for those who are unaware, to mention that this story is semi-based off of “My Side of the Fence” by Dan+Shay whose latest album is on repeat for me. Highly recommend listening to it! :) 

One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen

Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen

For the first time in a while, Savannah was uncomfortable in Auston’s presence. She could tell he was deep in thought, gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. While she wanted the conversation they needed to have to be over with, she knew that it wouldn’t be wise with him in this current state. 

“So how come you didn’t drink tonight?” Savannah asked, trying to break the tension. 

“When you said you were coming and that you might drink, I wanted you to be able to have fun without worrying about getting home,” he kept his eyes on the road ahead of them, rain now coming down and causing him to be a little more cautious. 

“You didn’t have to do that. We could’ve just taken an uber home.” 

“I know. But it’s not a big deal. I get more nights out than you do anyway. There’s always an opportunity to drink,” he shrugged nonchalantly, still not sparing her a glance. 

“Well, thank you,” she replied awkwardly. Auston finally turned to look at her, suddenly seemingly aware of the effect his mood was having on her. He smiled tightly, reaching over to squeeze her thigh in acknowledgement. 

“I’m sorry about Melanie,” Auston apologized, wanting to clear the air before they reached her apartment. He had assumed he was going up with her, but after the night’s events, he wasn’t sure. 

“Oh, don’t be. She was really nice,” Savannah replied. 

“Yeah, she is,” he agreed, not knowing what else to do. He wanted to know what was said, and based on how Savannah was acting, he knew she knew something, he just didn’t know what version of the story she got. He wanted her to ask him for his side, much like she did the night they played 21 questions. 

They pulled into the complex parking garage and Auston turned off the car, but neither made any move to get out of the car. Auston waited, tapping his wrist on the steering wheel. Savannah unbuckled her seatbelt and turned in her seat to face him.

"Are you still okay with our arrangement?” Savannah all but whispered, her voice shaking, giving way to her uncertainty. Auston whipped his head around the face her. Fuck. 

"What do you mean?” Auston willed himself not to overreact. 

Savannah sighed. Specificity was probably necessary here, but she hated confrontation. “I mean, are you okay with us just being casual?”

Auston sighed this time, running his hand through his hair in frustration. He should have known. "Sav, what did Melanie say to you?”

“I promise I didn’t pry, she just…word-vomited all over me,” Savannah explained, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. “She said that you ended things with her because you realized you wanted to be in a relationship. I’m not asking you explain your past, but I just need to know if what we’re doing is still okay with you.”

"That’s partly true,” Auston admitted, glad to have an opportunity to explain himself. “I told her that I was done with hooking up with random girls and that if I were to be in a relationship, I didn’t see that happening with her and I still don’t.”

"Harsh,” Savannah visibly cringed.

"I know, and I feel badly about that, but I thought it was best to be direct,” he paused, not sure how his next statement would be taken. He watched as she fidgeted with her hands, unbuckled his seatbelt, and reached out to grab them in his. He was relieved when she visibly relaxed at his touch. “I didn’t tell her I was actively seeking a relationship or that I needed to be in one, Sav. You’re not keeping me from anything, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

"So you are still happy with keeping things casual?”

“Sav, I’m happy with you,” Auston squeezed her hands, bringing them to his lips.

Savannah fought the urge to give in to his sweet gestures. She needed to know the complete truth before she felt comfortable moving forward. “That’s not answering my question. You know how I feel about a relationship right now and the last thing I want to do is lead you on or feel like you are waiting for me. You deserve more than what I could give you in a relationship right now.”

Auston bit his cheek to keep himself from audibly sighing. He adored Savannah, but sometimes she just worried too much. “You need to stop assuming you know what I think I deserve and what I would want in a relationship.”

Surprised by what was easily the harshest tone Auston had ever used with her, Savannah cringed, worried she was making this more difficult than it needed to be. “I’m sorry, you’re right,” she relented. “But I just need to know because if this is more than casual to you, I think it should end for both of our sakes.”

Red flags rose in Auston’s mind. She was willing to end this if she thought he wanted to be in a relationship with her, or in general. He needed to salvage this before it was too late. "I am okay with it being just casual, Sav. It’s not more than that,” he lied.

"You’re sure?” she looked doubtful and hopeful simultaneously and Auston hated himself.

"Sav, we have a good thing going right now, don’t we? I mean, you’re having fun and you’re happy, right?”

"I am,” she answered honestly. And she really was, other than when she spent way too much time overthinking moments with Auston, almost searching for reasons to doubt him. 

Auston reached his hand out to cup her cheek, relishing in Savannah sinking into his touch. “Then please stop stressing and letting outside factors influence this. It is what it is right now and as long as we’re both okay with that, I don’t see why it would need to end. Okay?”

Savannah nodded, leaning forward to place a kiss on his cheek. She had to trust that Auston wouldn’t lie to her. She got the answer she wanted, so they could continue. She pushed aside the nagging feeling that something was amiss, but she wanted so badly to continue, to stay in his presence. She didn’t even remotely acknowledge what wanting to stay in his presence meant. If he could keep it casual, so could she. “Okay. Let’s go upstairs.”

__

After having a long hot, and productive, shower together, Savannah and Auston were tangled up in her sheets, listening to the rain and continuing their game of 21 questions. It was nearing 1am, but neither felt tired. They lay naked, Savannah leaning on her crossed arms on Auston’s strong chest as he lay propped up against her pillows. 

“You can’t say that!” Savannah exclaimed, raising her head to admonish him. 

“Why not?” he retorted, the gleam evident in his eye. He was relieved that nothing felt different from the moment they left the car and entered her apartment. It was as if the events from the night hadn’t happened and things were back to what was becoming their normal. 

“Because, you can’t possibly believe that. There’s no way I’m friends with someone who believes that. I can’t accept it.”

“Well, you better believe it, baby,” Auston laughed.

“Nope, no way. Hedwig’s death was not more emotional than Dobby’s. It just wasn’t,” Savannah shook her head defiantly. Who was this person she was laying here with who had these terrible Harry Potter takes?

“You asked my opinion! That’s my opinion!”

“Your opinion is wrong,” she plopped her head back down on her arms aggressively, earning a grunt from Auston, who barked out a laugh.

“All I’m saying is that Hedwig was there from the very beginning. She was a loss of his innocence. She symbolized that end,” he reached one hand out to push her sexed-up hair behind her ears. After the rough night they had, he was so content to be in this moment with her. His favourite version of Savannah was the one he got to be with behind closed doors, in their safe spaces. She was light; at peace with their privacy and joyful in his company. He felt like he was simultaneously floating in the clouds and being grounded to something good; something real. He had a feeling this is what love felt like. 

“I agree with that part. I just don’t agree that it was a more emotional moment.”

“Well, we’ll just have to agree to disagree, won’t we?” he teased, tapping her twice on the nose and laughing as she stuck her tongue out to lick his palm. 

“Whatever. It’s your turn.”

Auston hummed thoughtfully. He ran one hand leisurely up and down her side, sending shivers up her spine. “What is one of your favourite childhood memories?”

Savannah didn’t have to think twice before answering. “As you know, my dad is one of the biggest hockey fans out there,” she paused to roll her eyes as Auston mouthed a faux cheer of ‘Go Leafs Go!’. “And when none of my siblings took a serious interest in playing the sport, I was kind of his last hope. I don’t know if I told you, but he used to coach some of the kids’ leagues at our local rink. He coached my brothers in baseball, too actually. Anyway, the problem was, when I strapped on those black hockey skates, I would see the girls at the rink in these clean white ones doing spins and jumps and just looking like angels on ice and suddenly that’s all I wanted. My parents have actual video of me playing away from the puck and just trying to do pirouettes and mimic the moves I saw these other kids do, but in my hockey skates.” Savannah laughed at the memory. 

“I need to see those videos someday,” Auston laughed picturing an even tinier Savannah doing spins in hockey skates. “I didn’t know you were on a hockey team though.”

“For an inconsequential period of time,” Savannah laughed. “It took my mom to convince my dad to let me switch from hockey lessons to figure skating. But she did, and even though he was disappointed, he was there for every single practice of mine and even helped me pick out some of my leos. One day, I skated off the ice after practice just fuming and in tears and when he asked why, I told him that some of the kids I used to play hockey with were teasing me for moving to the ‘weaker’ sport instead saying only ‘babies’ figure skated.”

Auston grimaced. As a hockey playing kid, he was definitely on the side of the teasers once in a while when they had to share the ice with the figure skaters. He now felt like sending personal apologies to all of the kids he mocked from ages 8-12. 

“So my dad, all 6′2, 200 some-odd pound of him, got himself a customized pair of figure skates, made in white no less even though men’s figure skates are usually black, and skated out on to the ice with me at the next practice. And I never heard another comment again. These kids revered my dad. He was Coach. And now he was out there in figure skates, nearly dying and killing his knees trying to spin. It was just...everything,” Savannah smiled, feeling her heart squeeze at the thought of her big teddy bear of a dad. 

"That’s amazing,” Auston laughed. “So are you a daddy’s girl?”

"It depends on the day. I think because I moved away from home at such a young age, my parents have done their best to spend time with me together and individually so I’ve gotten a bit of both,” Savannah reflected on her relationships with her parents. “My mom is all-knowing though. My dad is pretty unobservant for the most part, so most of our more meaningful talks come from me approaching him or outright expressing an emotion. My mom reads between the lines. She reads body language. She listens for the unsaid. I think it comes from being a teacher for students with special needs who can’t always communicate quickly or in what we consider to be the easiest way so she has to really pay attention.”

"She sounds a little like my mom.”

“Oh, after meeting your mom one time I could tell she was the kind of woman who could draw blood from a stone. She had my whole life story in under ten minutes of knowing her!”

Auston’s heart soared at how affectionately Savannah spoke of his mom after meeting her only one time. “Yeah, she has the affect.”

"What about you? Are you closer to one parent?”

"For a long time, it was my dad. He was my best friend. And still is,” Auston ran a hand through his hair, thinking back on the last few years with his parents. “But when I lived in Switzerland, my mom moved in with me for the year and we really bonded. I think we missed a lot of that because of how often I was away for hockey as a kid. She can still make me feel like a kid too sometimes, especially when I’m home visiting. But it’s just how she shows love.”

“You have great parents, Auston.”

“It sounds like we both do,” he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, watching as she tried to hide what appeared to be a rather large yawn. He glanced at the clock on her bedside table, seeing that it was nearly 3am. They had nowhere to be in the morning, and he had no intention of leaving her apartment the next day until she all but kicked him out, of course before what he assumed, and hoped, would be a very late breakfast. “All right you,” he pecked her lips, dragging her up his body. “Time for bed.”

“Mm,” she moaned, leaning in to kiss him deeply and then snuggling herself into his side, head tucked under his chin. She felt warm and safe and happy. This still worked for them, and she was so relieved. She could focus on the Olympics without the added pressure of balancing a relationship, and still have this safe space with Auston. As long as he was happy with what she could give, she was happy to stay right here for as long as possible. “Good night, Auston.”

“Good night, Sav.” 

#auston matthews #auston matthews imagine #auston matthews fanfiction #auston matthews writing #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl writing #hockey fan fiction #hockey imagines #hockey writing