#anyways! enough oversharing on the internet. I need to go sit on the porch

[moteldogs]

on the one hand I'm the stubbornest person I know. on the other hand as soon as I'm in a relationship I have no idea what I want or how to say no or how to express anything I need

#went out w my girlfriend last night and was pretty buzzed by the time we got home #so soon as I was horizontal in bed I mostly just wanted to sleep. given it was 2 am #but she was kissing me and I will admit I didn't put a lot of effort into kissing back due to being half asleep #and then she started crying which got me awake REAL quick and then it took like ten fucking minutes for her to tell me what was wrong #she felt ignored and rejected and everything so I said I was sorry and started kissing her #but then that upset her too because she didn't want to feel like I was ''forcing myself''' or whatever #which at that point was like. holy jesus just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it and then we can sleep #but we spent like an hour talking about how she needs intimacy and me agreeing that I can do better and her asking if I really agreed or if #I was just saying that and me saying I really agreed and her asking if I was mad at her and me saying I wasn't etc etc etc #we did end up fucking before we went to sleep which weirdly I didn't remember at first in the morning #which I guess makes sense because I was bordering on drunk to start with and then got down a decent amount of whiskey during #that whole conversation. so. #it's just exhausting. like it's not enough to do what she wants I have to be enthusiastic about it the whole time #anyways! enough oversharing on the internet. I need to go sit on the porch #del later