#anyways i napped bc i only slept for 3 hours last night maybe even less | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

liu-lang · 6 years

Text

looking back on my 1st week on 10 mg of lexapro

11/06 monday : i took it @ 09h30 and an hour later immediately felt nauseated and dizzy. there was a specific point @ work where I was ready to open another document to read but i was forced to accept the reality of needing to take a nap. i think i slept for 3 hours. didn’t have an appetite for the entire day. i rmbr thinking throughout the day, if i was pregnant, would this be what morning sickness is like ? but it lasts the whole day.....

11/07 tuesday : i had to fast for my blood work @ 08h then i ate a bit more before taking lexapro again @ 09h30. noticed an immediate absence of appetite the rest of the day post-medicine. my boyfriend said i slept very deeply bc in the morning, all 4 blankets were still lying flat on me instead of how i usually push them around in my sleep. it was easier to make the bed in the morning.

11/08 wednesday : i decided to switch to taking it at night. the pharmacist told me tt if it made me dizzy in the day time, i could switch to night time. i forgot to put it in my bag. but even w/o it, i felt very tired all day.

11/09 thursday : i had to bend down and stand back up at work a lot. all the movement made me feel nauseated and winded (out of breath). i rmbr feeling very tired while playing with tiny kitty too - getting down on the floor or bed to her level to play with her toys or follow her around the garden. also, chest pains.

11/10 friday : less nausea during the day but it was super difficult to wake up after taking the lexapro at night. in addition to it though, i do take a benadryl to help with my hives. still very ... lethargic.

11/11 saturday : got to sleep in a bit more so tt helped. this whole week, i’ve been randomly making involuntary retching sounds (gross, i know). everything makes me want to throw up. even when i’m hardly eating anything.

11/12 sunday : slept on my arm funny so it hurts a lot. also around midnight, somebody crashed their car into the school across the street so i woke up to the sound of tt. i had blueberry pancakes and threw up. i threw up another time earlier in the week after having salad and fries.

overall, it made me feel like... when i was at my lowest point of my eating disorder in high school. no appetite, cold and tired all the time, very nauseated and wanting to sleep it off always. constant headache. my boss did something tt is usually very anxiety-inducing for me but it didn’t really affect me much which was as surprise. i guess tt means tt it may be taking care of my anxiety but all my emotions seem muted or maybe i’m so nauseated, tt’s the only thing i’m “feeling”. anyway idk if these symptoms are gonna continue after the adjustment period. i’ve never been on medicine for mental health before. i don’t like how i feel on it. it makes my brain feel cloudy and sluggish. having no appetite doesn’t help when i’m trying to eat stuff for energy. at breakfast today and yesterday, i ate so much less than i usually do and i alr eat very small portions.

#personal

1 note · View note

coconutseaways · 7 years

Text

July 1, 2017 - our first Airbnb

It's June 30, 8 o'clock in the evening. We decided to leave the harbour and their €6.20 a day rate to find an anchorage more beautiful, less noisy and even better, free. A couple days ago we were able to finally chill and do our own exploring since our first Airbnb booking was done. It was amazing! Everything went so well. I will tell you more. But when we were walking we found the sandy beach which is in a basin/crater on the south western corner of Faial, in the centre of old town Horta. It looks out to the ocean and is an absolute sight to see, so we brought the boat over and are now anchored in that beautiful basin, with a small waterfall beside us. A restaurant along the wall playing some awesome music and a great snorkelling area. We went for a dive already and found some beautiful fish. A black one with fluorescent blue spots that glitter in the light. Also the yellow and blue ones that I posted a video of. They are so pretty to look at. We also found a large red star fish. One of those ones with the long arms that are all bendy. It doesn't look like a perfect star and it's dark red. Such a cool thing to see since when we went to BC last year, we didn't see any because of the die off. Look up the starfish disease...it's so sad. We need to save the starfish!! Anyways. We are doing some serious relaxing now. Our next booking is on July 5 so we have a few more days to chill out. So...the Airbnb booking: I found the group (4 guys 1 girl) at Peters Cafe Sport after finally getting some wifi and getting a couple messages with the "leader" of the group. I walked up and couldn't even remember what the guy looked like, but a young tanned guy looked at me as he was walking by and paused. I said "Marius? I'm Courtney". It was an instant hiii how are you. He introduced me to the group: Warren- Australian. Martin - German. Lucrezia - Italian. Abdullah (Abi) - Saudi Arabian and Marius - German. Originally this booking was only 3 and as time got closer Marius messaged me and asked if one of his friends could join. I said ya of course and before he changed the reservation, he had another friend wanting to come. I clearly explained the bed sizes, two twins, a single and a double for me and mike. I also said that they would be sleeping 2, 2 and 1 on twin beds. It would be a "cozy" sleep but Mike and I were totally cool with it. So we added them to the booking and would have 7 people aboard our 38 footer for 4 nights and 5 days. What a great time!!!! First we still had to overhaul the boat. So we took all their luggage and asked them to go grocery shopping and kill some time. They gave us 2 hours where mike and I went into overdrive and cleaned up, packed away and tried to make this boat guest suitable. We had a long 12 day sail where almost all my clothes got salty wet and we pretty much just started putting stuff anywhere where it wouldn't rock around. So by the end we had some serious organizing to do. It all worked out because we finished the last bit and they arrived with bags of fresh groceries. They wanted to leave that evening instead of staying in the harbour for the night so I went with all the passports and checked us out of Horta. It is such an ordeal to check in and out of ports but all went well and I had a crew manifest of 5 extra. We set out motoring that evening and anchored on the eastern corner of Faial island with a great view of the other two islands: Pico and Sao Jorge. Pico island has the highest peak in Portugal - mt Pico. We found a great little spot that was tucked in from the waves. Warren cooked us an amazing pasta dinner with the most delicious garlic bread. It was some fancy bread, stuffed with garlic, parsley and tomato and then toasted in the oven. To die for. While we were sitting on the boat, we saw a small shark come up towards the boat. He stayed for a minute and then left. Marius wanted to jump in so bad. He didn't though. We had a great first night. I pulled all the beds out and made them up once it was getting late. Everyone called a bunk and it was a peaceful sleep except for a little snoring haha. The next morning Mike got up at sunrise to make coffee and as soon as he started moving 4/5 of the guests were up and on deck. The next thing I hear is a big splash. And then another and another. I come out and all 4 of them are in the water...naked! Haha it was hilarious! They really made the most of their trip and I'm so glad we got to be a big part of it. Mike, Martin and I went for a snorkel closer to shore and saw some cool fish. The crackling under the water is so loud from all the crustaceans. It is the coolest sound. You wouldn't believe how blue the water is. You can see everything so clearly it blows my mind. The rocks are huge and full of life with so many little crevices. It freaks me out a tiny bit once in a while, wondering what could be coming out of a dark crack in the rocks. But then I chill and think it will be fine. I will be fine. I can't miss everything else because of that possibility. I made a breakfast scramble for us and then we lifted anchor and set our for Velas, Sao Jorge. On our way across, we came across a dolphin pod who kept crossing our path but were not keen on hanging out with us. Marius and Warren jumped in the water and we dragged him by a rope off the back and tried to get him closer to the pod. They weren't having it and after a few attempts we pulled the guys back onboard. A little while later we came up on a turtle floating on the surface catching some rays. Martin got in and swam up to the turtle. He got pretty close before it swam away. He tried to follow but they are fast swimmers. They all have some barnacle growth in their back or tail. But they are so cute. I love turtles. We finally made it to our destination of Velas Harbour. We were going to go into the marina but it's a small one and the only room they had was alongside another boat. We pulled a u turn and anchored in the harbour but outside the marina. I went ashore and checked in. Free to anchor (awesome!) free water fill up. They had amazing showers at €2 each which isn't terrible. That was my first real shower since June 8 or 9. We had salt water wash, fresh water rinse showers during the voyage and the solar shower gets really warm in the sun. But a really shower with awesome pressure. Me and 4 of the group found a cafe on land and ordered some food. Got in wifi and got to call my mom for the first time. It was good to hear her voice. I do miss her and my sister. Missing family and friends definitely making me feel a little homesick. I wish it was a close trip to come home and visit. But from here it would be a long and expensive flight home and back. It's so amazing here. It is so surreal to be on these islands. Just bouncing one to the other. Velas was a gorgeous little city. Quiet. We happened upon a festival where a band played down the street and they shot fireworks into the sky and there was a long table of bread, wine and cheese maybe. A priest said a prayer and then splashed holy water at the food, blessing it. And then people came up with bags and was given one of each thing. It was so lucky for us to happen upon while we were looking for the grocery store and gas station since the marina didn't have any gasoline, only diesel. We eventually found the grocery store, and found out the gas station was 5 miles up the hill. We ditched the idea of getting gas and stocked up on food for supper. Martin cooked us steaks and we had another awesome meal. We all slept like logs that night and the next day we all went for a snorkel and got some great footage underwater. This was my first wetsuit snorkel which felt so nice. The water is refreshing but it cools you down quite quickly. After we all chilled out and half of us napped we motored in to the marina to fill up on water. We ended up cross blocking between two docks because it was such a small area to maneuver around. We filled up on water, had our showers and took off for Pico island. We made it to a great little curve not far from Sao Roque do Pico but the waves at night had the boat rocking side to side so bad. I kept nudging mike that we should move as he slept soundly. Maybe an hour or two before sunrise he lifted anchor and moved after I had bugged him enough. Sure enough 4/5 of the group had not had a good sleep due to the rocking. Abi slept like a rock and didn't even know we had started the engine and motored to the harbour of Sao Roque. The next morning he was like "what the? This isn't where we went to sleep?" Haha it was pretty funny. I got a few hours of shut eye and the next day we went onshore and had some fabulous pizza at the yacht club of Sao Roque. We had a great little anchorage for the day and went for a great walk along the coast of Pico. We walked to a beautiful windmill with the prettiest blue water coast full of little rocks and tidal pools. After a long walk our guests took a cab up the mountain to get some pictures while mike and I went back to the boat for a serious siesta. We passed out for a while and then I heard "courtney, mike were back". They were yelling from shore for only a minute before I popped my head up and gave them a wave. I rowed the dinghy over and picked them up and we were back on the boat. Supper was a simple sausage, cheese, bread meal with beans and celery, which hit the spot. We had hot chocolate that evening to top it all off. I also ended up pulling out my guitar finally and playing a few songs. It was a great time! The next morning we headed back to Horta so they could get their rental car and explore Faial island for a couple more days in another Airbnb. They had 2 more days and wanted to go diving and up the volcano. We dropped them off around 3 in the afternoon and it was sad goodbyes from all. The next morning we saw Warren, Marius and Martin go by in the diving boat. They were off to do their scuba dive. Marius messaged me and asked if we wanted to do lunch together which we were definitely for doing. We did laundry at the marina (so expensive!!!) that morning and after the dive we met up and went to a great place that served wood fire cooked meals. I got the pork chops and the guys got tuna, wreck fish and mike got some other fish I can't remember. The wreck fish was definitely the best tasting. So juicy and great flavour. Mike's was good but had a very subtle flavour. And the tuna was good too, a little too fishy for me. My porkchops were freaking amazing. Cooked to perfection. We got a few desserts to share, a chocolate mousse, a coconut pudding cake and another cake that tasted like tiramisu. After lots of laughs the restaurant was closing up at 3pm (they reopen at 7pm for dinner) we went to pay and these awesome guys paid for mike and I as a last goodbye. They also stocked me up on some dark chocolate because mike gave away the last few pieces of a bar I had. Oh they were honestly just the best people to have! That was our final goodbye. Mike and I made our way to the beach and they made their way to their rental car to explore the island a little bit more and then fly home the next morning. As I'm typing this up, I hear a loud screech call. I look up and around, don't see anything. Continue typing. Then I hear it again and I look behind me and there's a man flashing a light at us and using this siren call. It's the police. Oh man. They yell we have to go. So mike rows over to them and has a polite conversation where they inform us that it is illegal for us to anchor in our beautiful little spot. Only one boat is allowed to anchor there and we can move 300 m up the coast and anchor there. Haha. So we moved, and now we will have a little bit more of a rocky sleep. We are in some wave action but hopefully it won't be too bad. Tomorrow we will head towards Pico and find a place there. All part of the exploring aspect I guess. Anyways. Airbnb went great! We had an amazing time, they had an amazing time and it just worked out so well. Now Mike and I are taking it all in and relaxing. A few more days until our next booking and we just keep going on and on. Anyways, I hope you enjoy the story and keep reading the ones to come! Lots of love to all! Don't forget to follow us on Instagram (Coconut_seaways) and Facebook at Coconut Seaways for awesome pics and videos. Below is our Airbnb link. I highly recommend you come stay with us! It will be an experience you'll never forget! https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/17172254?location=Horta%2C%20Portugal&s=gMqRO9XB

1 note · View note

sumergosuigeneris · 5 years

Text

June 30, 2019

Yesterday was a busy, exhausting day. But I feel good about it. Mostly.

Friday night, around 2am, there were fire trucks etc all over my building. At first I thought it was a car crash, because those happen here all the time. But I got curious and looked out the window and couldn’t see any car. Plus, then I started hearing things in the hall. Made me wonder if they were all up in our building. But no alarms were off. So then I started wondering if there was something wrong with the alarm (not likely) or that it was something that they might evacuate certain floors rather than the whole building. I mean, I did keep hearing things in the hall. I actually got in some clothes and prepared for me and the cat to go. Nothing. I had stayed inside b/c I didn’t want to get in the way, but finally the tension/curiousity got the best of me. Didn’t see anyone, didn’t want to go in the stairwell in case I’d be in the way. Ended up having a conversation with another lady who opened her door. Came back into my apartment, and they’d all left. That whole situation was about an hour. But I couldn’t sleep for a couple hours after that.

So, I slept in yesterday morning. Decided to go out for a healthy-ish breakfast. Went to eye hop. Disappointing. What I got served was a lazy man’s edition of what was in the menu. And, while I thought I was doing good with 650 calories, it turns out that’s a shit ton of points! Made me do some thinking. They say the average American diet is 2k calories a day. I forget sometimes that that should be 1600 cal for women. And that average doesn’t mean healthy either (since I’m confident I eat over the average). So, anyway thinking 2000/3 meals is 650-ish, I’m doing well. But really, after all my thinking, I’m thinking if I’m going to eye ball, a healthy meal is probably around 350 calories. Because depending on what those 350 are, they’re more or less points.

Then I went and played racquetball. I was hot as hell and had no water, so I only played about 40 minutes. Went to get coffee, and one of my barista people gave me a free one. While we were talking, I found out her sister had died in March or April. Her mother had died only a few months before, so she was pretty messed up. I wish I’d known, but I wasn’t going there very often, and when we were both there, she was always super busy. On my way from that bucks, I stopped at the community center and signed up for a lap swim membership! And I finally stopped at that gay bar that’s in my neck of the woods. They were open, and it’s really nice inside. I’m gonna go. Eventually. Thought about going last night for a drag show but didn’t. It means a lot to me about that place, because I live in a primarily black area, and the queer community has a tougher time when it intersects with the black community, so this bar, being there for decades? was really an oasis for black queer people at an even more intolerant time than we live in today. I got a little misty-eyed thinking about it. Came home and tried to nap. Didn’t.

Decided I needed to figure out some other things to be productive, b/c I needed to go out again to another bucks to get my 3 days in a row deal. Decided to get a bit of shopping done and maybe treat myself to a pedicure. My feet are always tore up and I think of a pedi but never do b/c they’re expensive. And I’ve talked about it for about 2 years now lol. So, I did that. I think it’s been over 10 years since I’ve had one, and I’ve only had a handful over my life. I’m so grateful that there was a really nice younger woman sitting next to me. She had to translate and give me remedial pedicure lessons, so I could make my choices. I let her pick out my nail polish. It’s a really nice shade of peach-ish/hot pink. Not too wild, and not too conservative. The girl said my feet were in great condition considering I hadn’t had a pedicure in a decade. That’s something I guess? I got a bit of a massage from the chair which was a bonus, and finally did some reading in a book I’ve started a few times.

Then I went to wall smart. Usually, I have a bit of a running list in my head of what I need/ want when I get paid. But this time, I really had to think. I got a bunch of stuff that are always on the bottom of my list, but forgot the one thing I decided to treat myself to - sheet corner fasteners. Oh well. Next month perhaps.

One thing on the list was to check for some shorts and/or tank tops so I can try to get some more color. Dude. I asked a couple of ladies (one was on the dressing rooms, the other may work there but wasn’t on the clock if she does) their opinion on one thing, which turned into them helping me with half my options. Which turned into me trying on, for the first time in my life, leggings. And they didn’t look bad on me! At least compared to a couple other things I tried on lol. So yeah, I bought leggings. It’s crazy. And, I found a tank-ish shirt style I liked, and got it in a size smaller than I expected! And they were really nice and telling me I need to be more confident in my body. And anyway, one of them asked to exchange numbers with me and said we were gonna be friends. We’ll see. But it’s always nice. I can’t help wondering if she felt sorry for my lack of confidence in the clothes thing; if she wants to like ‘mentor’ me. But she was super nice and I’ll take it!

I picked up some church is chicken (eh). Watched some little lies big (which I’d binged Friday night by accident), and went to bed. Oh also, I deleted the phone game I’ve been addicted to the last few weeks. It’s pointless, if I think about it. There’s no ‘end’. Nothing to win. Just endless achievements combined with endlessly increasing hardness. I’m kind of proud of myself.

Now today the question is how productive I’ll be. I need to apply for some jobs. Check out the status of that work transport thing. I really want to do some cleaning. I’d like to do racquetball 2 days in a row. And maybe get my swim on. Might need to return some of those clothes too - with the other stuff I got, like cat food and window wiper fluid, I spent $169.69! I did find a pair of $7 shoes that I like despite the fact that I’m surprised I like them. No open-toed sandals though lol.

Hmm. i’m looking at my feet and she didn’t take all the callous buildup off. I’m surprised bc she used what looked like a damn cheese grater, plus a pumice stone type thingy. And a scrub. But I guess it’s probably a good thing. Technically, that stuff is a bit of protection.

0 notes