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whimperwoods · 3 years

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Part 9 of Gozukk and Anna

Anna has a doctor’s appointment. Gozukk turns down an offer to join the church. Jak helps out.

[Note: One of the d&d canon things I particularly don’t like is that the ‘evil races’ have their own separate evil gods particular to their race. I’m aware that there are halfling and elf and dwarf pantheons also, but the thing is that those generally have deities of multiple alignments (rather than only evil ones) and those communities seem to be allowed to serve any gods they want, in practice. In my d&d world, orcs can too, and this particular tribe, to the extent to which they’re religious, is affiliated with Kelemvor. Not everyone worships him, and there are some individuals with other faiths, but he’s the god they have a shrine and a cleric for/from. (I’m not sure it matters that much from a worldbuilding standpoint, but I’ve taken an overall position of “no-race-specific deities,” which does also throw Moradin and the like out with the bathwater, but that’s probably alright.)]

The masterpost is here and includes a cheat sheet with character names, since the list of people she’s met in the community just keeps getting bigger.

tw: slavery (past), tw: PTSD, tw: past rape/noncon (barely referenced), tw: past abuse, tw: fantasy religion (no religious trauma), tw: panic attack, tw: drug reference (past), tw: date rape drug (past)

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!

Tag list: @redwingedwhump, @nine-tailed-whump, @thehurtsandthecomfurts @kixngiggles, @bluebadgerwhump, @dragonheart905, @carolinethedragon, @whumpzone, @newbornwhumperfly, @cupcakes-and-pain, @much-ado-about-whumping

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Anna’s legs shook faintly as the healer shouted for her and her master to enter, but she tried to keep her face steady as she ducked under Gozukk’s arm and in through the flap of the tent.

The space was small but comfortable, the furnishings generally not quite as nice as Gozukk’s, with the exception of a smallish but very fine altar, richly carved from solid wood. A set of heavy brass scales sat on it, held up by a skeletal hand, the same image that was carved along its sides, and that she recognized from the box in Gozukk’s room, and a small collection of candles sat around it.

Gozukk knelt briefly in front of the altar, going down on one knee with a quick bow and then rising to his feet again before turning to the healer, Mukzod. “I’m sure you’ve heard plenty about our newest guest,” he said calmly, as if he hadn’t paused at all. Anna felt certain she should kneel, too, but somehow she found herself frozen, unable to move farther into the tent, or to do anything at all.

Mukzod was dressed in dark grey robes, well-made and clean, with the same skeleton-arm scales embroidered carefully across his chest, but looked fresh-faced, too young for such serious, formal vestments. He was a half head shorter than Gozukk but just as wide, with dark messy hair that flopped into his eyes as he nodded toward her and made her shudder and freeze up. He looked almost nothing like Master Kir, but that hair, the length of it, the little flick of his head to get it out of his eyes - her chest tightened with fear, her breath shortening.

The healer’s smile was warm, but she couldn’t slow her racing heart.

“Hello, guest. Anna, is it? Did I hear correctly?”

Her mouth was dry and she couldn’t answer. Gozukk reached a hand halfway toward her, but then stopped and she suddenly, desperately wished he hadn’t, wished she could bury her face in his chest and not see this new stranger, with his new hair, and his new tent. But that was a foolish thing to wish, wasn’t it?

“Yes,” Gozukk answered, his voice softer now, as if to put her at ease even though he was talking to the healer. “You’ve heard right. I already know she’s wounded, but I want to make sure she isn’t also cursed or marked or being tracked.”

“You know, if you just gave a little bit more of yourself to Kelemvor, you could do it yourself,” Mukzod said jovially. “We all know your piety is genuine.”

Gozukk laughed. “For the last time, cleric, a paladin oath is out of the question. The tribe has to come first. You know that. A holy life is not in my cards.”

Mukzod held his hands up, “I know, I know! I only ask because I know you’d be good at it.”

Anna watched the exchange, trying to follow. Kelemvor was - was a god of - of something. Scales. Justice? But no, that was Tyr, everybody knew that. The skeleton, though - the skeleton - her eyes widened, and her body began to shake.

“I - I didn’t realize you worshipped - umm -” Her voice was thin, tense, and surely one of them would bark at her to speak up. She tensed, awaiting a slap for interrupting, or for doing it poorly, or both. Instead, both men turned slowly to look at her, their posture open, hands away from her.

“It’s alright, Anna,” Gozukk said, “He’s not a god of death. He’s a god of the dead, which is something else.”

Mukzod had his hands up, the palms out toward her. “The chief is right. We don’t kill, not unless we have to. Not unless we’re fighting undead things. I’m more about healing. And curing diseases. And burying bodies we find unattended in the desert, which happens a little more often than one would hope.”

She shivered. She’d seen a body like that, had watched the men in the caravan dragging another man’s corpse away from the hooves and wheels that had crushed him to death, only to leave him lying in a heap alongside their caravan route and keep moving at Master Kir’s orders.

She opened her mouth to ask if they’d found the man from the caravan, if they’d buried him properly, but then she couldn’t. What if they thought she’d had something to do with it? She still remembered the beating she’d gotten after they stopped that night, how unsure she’d been whether her master thought she’d done something to distract the dead man, or whether he was just frustrated. She’d known her place. She hadn’t needed to be reminded. She didn’t need to be reminded now.

She sank onto her knees and felt both safer and less safe, in over her head and drowning in uncertainty.

Gozukk knelt beside her again, taking her hands gently in his own, so gently she could have pulled away, but she knew her place, and maybe soon he would realize she knew it and she wouldn’t have to be so scared.

“It’s alright, Anna,” he said, running his thumb gently over her knuckles. “You don’t have to worship him. Plenty of folks don’t. But I do, and Mukzod does, and he’s got some magic that can help you, if that man did anything that’s lingering.” He scowled, but over her shoulder, not at her. “Anything magical, anyway.”

The cleric placed one hand on her shoulder and the other on Gozukk’s and she flinched heavily before she could stop herself.

“Is it alright if I do a quick magic detection spell? If all is well, I’ll won’t see anything, and we’ll know the human doesn’t have any magical hooks into you. If there is something, I’ll have to do some tests, but we can fix that, too.”

His voice was soothing, but she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t look at the hair falling into his eyes, scraping his shoulders around the back of his neck. She was shaking, and she couldn’t stop. She gripped Gozukk’s hands tighter, hoping he would allow her nearer. He squeezed back gently and she scooted forward on her knees until she was close enough to whisper into his ear.

“Please, Sir -” she flinched, but decided not to correct herself and maybe he wouldn’t notice, “I - can I -” He let go of one of her hands and then reached up and brushed her hair behind her ear, a gesture that was increasingly becoming a familiar one. She steeled herself and caught her breath. “May I put my head on your shoulder again, please? Like yesterday, when I was -” she didn’t have a word for what she was, “Please, Gozukk, I’m sorry I’m weak, I just - I can - I can do this. I can be good, please, I just - I need - please.” Her breath gave out, her body shaking even harder.

Yesterday, she’d leaned into him with both of their hands between them, his pressing hers to his chest. Now, he wrapped one arm around her carefully, keeping hold of her hand with his other one and drawing her just slightly closer. “Is this alright?” he whispered into the space between them, “Does this help?”

She shook, and wasn’t sure how to answer, but she knew what she’d wanted at first, knew what she’d wanted, and thought she still wanted it. She leaned her forehead against his shoulder, her breath coming in deep gasps, and he removed his arm from the small of her back as she kept fighting for air, tracing his fingers through her hair at the temple instead.

“It’s alright,” he said, “I’m here to help.”

After a moment of his arm hovering beside her, he let it fall to his side, not touching her as she knelt up against him, watching him breathe and trying to time her breaths to his.

“Are you ready for the spell?” he asked.

She nodded against his shoulder.

“We’re ready, Mukzod.”

Nothing happened. The cleric said a few words in a language she didn’t understand, and then he fell silent, the air in the room unchanged.

“Nope, all clear,” he said after a moment. “Your pendant’s lighting up like a candle, Chief, and the altar, and some of my stuff, so the spell’s working, but she’s not got any magic on her. Not that lingers, anyway. I can try a dispulsion anyway, but as far as I can tell, there’s nothing there to dispel.”

Gozukk leaned his cheek against her temple, sighing in relief. “There we go. You’re safe. Now we know it for sure.”

“I -” Mukzod cleared his throat. “Can I be of any other service? I’d thought you might have come for healing. Or perhaps a calming spell?”

A calming spell? Anna had never heard of that, but as soon as she thought too hard about it, she found herself remembering the times Master Kir had - what had that been - he’d put something in the wine, she’d known there was something in the wine, but he’d made her drink it anyway, made her drink it, made her choke trying to swallow as he forced it down her throat and then he’d - and then he’d -”

She sobbed, her head suddenly spinning, her entire body tingling like there were bees buzzing just inside her skin, and her head on Gozukk’s shoulder wasn’t enough to keep it at bay, wasn’t enough to keep anything at bay, wasn’t - wasn’t -

She grabbed desperately for the front of his shirt, closing her hand into a fist around the fabric and forcing herself to keep breathing. His free hand came up alongside her head, but he didn’t quite touch her, just kept it hovering there, like he was shielding her from the sun. As another wrenching sob tore itself from her throat, she pulled herself closer to him, into that protection, and everything else be damned.

“We’re done for the day,” Gozukk said, his voice rough-edged with anger, like it never was when he talked to her, and she flinched but didn’t dare pull away, couldn’t afford it when he was the only thing steadying her spinning head, couldn’t afford it when it might make him angry, couldn’t - couldn’t - she couldn’t breathe. She gasped for air.

"She’s allowed to feel what she feels,” he snapped at the cleric, “She’s doing fine.”

His own breathing wasn’t quite as steady as she knew it could be, deepening as if he were holding himself together, holding back the snarl she could hear at the edge of his voice.

But then the snarl was gone, and his voice was velvet-gentle again, his hand stroking carefully through her hair. “It’s alright, Anna. You did well. It’s been a stressful day. You don’t have to do anything more. Mukzod just wants you safe, same as me.”

The gentleness was for her. It was just for her, and she was a fool, and she believed it, and she knew she was a fool, but she could feel herself starting to shake apart, could feel the way the buzz under her skin threatened to become the way she felt in the dark, at night, like a fire burning itself out, like she was dying a piece at a time, reducing herself to ash as she went, and she couldn’t. She couldn’t die now, not while she was in a place she was fool enough to half-believe might be better.

“Do you want me to carry you back home?” he asked, his voice still soft, rumbling through his chest and under her cheek, and when had she twisted her head sideways like this, resting more fully on his shoulder? “Or do you want to wait it out here and then we can walk back together? I think you need some quiet for a little bit. You can take another nap, like yesterday. You’re still healing.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck, letting go of the front of his shirt, and he took it as an answer, rearranging immediately to gather her up in his arms and cradle her against his chest.

When he rose to his feet still holding her, she didn’t shudder this time, but she wondered if that was only because to shake any more than she was already shaking might be to shake herself to pieces.

The softness in his voice was gone as he looked up at the cleric and ordered, “Open the flap for me,” all of a sudden in control again, the chief whose feet she had been thrown down in front of. But then he was bending his neck to speak softly in her ear again, the gentleness returned to his voice. “Squeeze my neck when you’re ready for me to walk, and we’ll go. Just tell me when you’re steady.”

She squeezed his neck, desperate to be away from here, as if the bees in her skin would leave her alone out in the sun.

They didn’t, but Gozukk let her bury her face in the side of his neck and kept holding her, his arms solid around her and his breath steady, now, soothing.

Halfway back to the tent, small footsteps joined them, a voice she didn’t recognize piping up from below. “Whoa, Uncle Gozukk, is something wrong?”

“Get the flap when we get to my tent, Jak,” he said, the imperiousness gone again, as if it had never been, his voice warm and normal, but without the particular softness he seemed to save for her, and what did that mean? She sobbed in spite of herself, about nothing, or maybe about everything, but her head was full of bees and her skin was full of bees and she couldn’t think.

“She’ll be alright once she has a little peace and quiet,” Gozukk explained, tone patient, “She’s just a little overwhelmed.”

A small hand patted her dangling ankle and she pulled away instinctively before she realized the boy was no threat.

“Oh,” he said, “That makes sense. Does she need a calm down cloth?”

She could feel Gozukk’s chuckle, deep in his chest. “Yeah, that might not be a bad idea. Why don’t you go get one after you help me inside? And then you can go back to whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing.”

“Got it!” The footsteps sped up, then stopped again, waiting for them to catch up.

Anna clung to Gozukk the rest of the way to the tent, relieved when Jak’s footsteps pattered away as soon as she and Gozukk were inside.

The fine chair he’d been seated in to meet the caravan was inside, now, set behind the table in the front room, and Gozukk settled her into it. She grabbed at its arms, surprised, and squeezed them tighter when Gozukk squatted down in front of her to look in her eyes. She couldn’t get out of the chair and down to his level. He didn’t want that. She had to stay. She had to stay.

Her breathing was still ragged, too fast, and she knew it, but she couldn’t do anything about it.

“Anna, can you hear me?”

Everything was still too much, his words clear enough to make sense, but then immediately gone to her, as if they had never been. She nodded, trying to keep hold of the question.

“Alright. You did a good job this morning. I want to make sure you know that. It’s alright if you need to stay in here the rest of the day. I’ll try to come check on you when it’s time for lunch, but if you get hungry before I come back, you can go find Djaana or one of the twins, and they’ll look after you.”

She was breathing. That, she was sure of. His voice was soothing, reassuring, and the things he was saying were reassuring, and she couldn’t make them mean anything. She nodded. Reassuring. He was being reassuring. She could be reassured. She kept breathing.

Gozukk nodded back. Her breathing eased a little. Good. He was pleased.

Jak came running in, and she got a good look at him for the first time. He had the same dark hair as Djaana and Gozukk, but his eyes were a lighter color, a green she hadn’t expected, and even with some lingering baby roundness to his face, she could tell there was something about his cheekbones that must be like his father. Gozukk stuck a hand out to slow the boy before he could run all the way to her, and he blushed, looking bashful.

“Oh. Sorry. I forgot about the quiet.” He held out a damp, white cloth, in her direction, and she wasn’t sure what to do but take it.

The boy’s green eyes stared at her, his arm drifting behind his back so he could wrap his hand around his elbow, still staring. “Thank you,” she said quietly, aware that her breathing was loud and her voice wasn’t.

“Why don’t you explain to Anna how it works, just in case her mama and grandmother didn’t teach her?” Gozukk asked, something of the softness he always aimed at her in his voice as he addressed the boy.

“Yeah!” Jak said, his face brightening! “It’s easy, Miss Anna! You just put it on the back of your neck, and it’s nice and cool so it feels good, and then you just breathe real steady and think about cooling down and noticing that it feels good, and then when it gets dry, you can go back outside and play or try what you were doing again. Or I guess you can - I dunno. What do you like doing?”

She had no answer, but there wasn’t enough time for it to become awkward. Gozukk laid a hand on Jak’s shoulder. “Why don’t you wait and ask her that in a couple of days? You wouldn’t like it if somebody asked you a bunch of questions while you were trying to calm down, would you?”

“Oh! No!” He mimed locking his mouth closed with a key and tucking it into his pocket, and Anna found herself smiling in spite of everything. She put the cloth against the back of her neck to prove she’d been trying to listen, though there was a lot he said that she hadn’t been able to keep ahold of, the words slipping through her fingers as half of her kept getting wrapped up in her own breath.

He was right. It felt lovely, cool and soft. She closed her eyes, half instinctively, and managed a deeper breath.

She could hear a smile in Gozukk’s voice as he said, “Take all the time you need. We’ll be back to check on you at lunch time.”

Then both sets of footsteps walked away, out the door, and she was alone.

She slid out of the chair and onto her knees, where she felt more herself, but kept the cloth where it was, steadying her breathing as much as she could and thinking about the coolness, the dry air pulling water from the cloth, the dampness sitting against her skin, and nobody touching her.

When the cloth dried, she wasn’t calm, but she was close.

#d&d whump #fantasy whump #hurt/comfort #whump #recovery whump #past slavery tw #past abuse tw #ptsd tw #fantasy religion tw #panic attack tw #drug allusion tw #vague rape/noncon allusion tw #drugging tw #Jak was NOT supposed to be in this he just SHOWED UP #he WAS supposed to be at breakfast but he was NOT THERE #this child i swear #also Anna is triggered by mullets because real triggers are weird sometimes but also bc i am a clown all the time #her other doctor's appointment should be hopefully better but might actually just be weirder who knows #Mazogga's older and wiser than Mukzod but she's also old enough to be the boss of Gozukk so she's gonna do what she's gonna do #does this need some kind of a trigger warning for medical? it really isn't medical but maybe?#anyway jak's a good boy and everybody's trying their best and it's just gonna take some time #gozukk's family believes in AUTONOMY and RESPONSIBLE EMOTIONAL SELF-REGULATION #their enemies think orcs are scary because of the teeth and muscles but ALSO because of the CONFIDENCE and SELF-EFFICACY #or something #idk i just love orcs and i want them to have good things #and anna deserves a loving and supportive community #and they deserve an anna they just don't know it yet because she hasn't come into her own yet #but she will one day #in chapter a billion or something because i keep getting ideas for very tiny increments of time after the previous ones #would you believe i thought this chapter might be her visiting BOTH the healer AND the midwife? a clown

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chaosworthyarchive · 3 years

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9.11.3227 Location ¦ Angel Island

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“You can’t stay out of trouble for three seconds, can you?”

While playful despite the current situation Sonic still narrowed his eyes at his smirking brother, unable to hide one of his own as the echidna raised a brow in turn. Truthfully the hero was touched that The Guardian had bothered to come see him given this was usually the busiest time of day and season for Knuckles, but then again he couldn't remember a time he ever visited The Shrine and not had the other at least greet him in some fashion. Sonic was going to chalk that up to a brotherly instinct and not a lack of trust.

“Hey, this wasn’t my fault, thanks,” he pointed out, gesturing to the wound that Tikal was currently examining proper. He could see worry on her face, just as he could see the slight concern in Knuckles’. Both of them knew what had happened and the effects of which (Kintobor and Porker had been nothing but thorough it seemed) and the only reason it had taken him so long to come to them was because he wasn’t sure he could make the trip. The need to know had overpowered that doubt, however, and now here he was sitting on the grand steps with the two echidnas, trying to reassure the princess with a small smile and a light joke. “Any hope, or am I a goner?”

It took a moment but she did look up to meet his gaze, a soft but sure smile forming on her lips even if the concern remained. "I don't believe it is your fault that it is not healing as most of your injuries normally do, and I don’t believe the emeralds mean to be as they are. From what I can determine the emeralds are merely keeping the balance. The power they hold, that mixture of good and evil, is delicate. Taking too much bad could throw things off balance and lead to terrible events. I believe they want to help, they simply cannot risk it."

There was a sound of gruff agreement from Knuckles, though he didn’t seem to like the news. He merely understood the conditions. "It's just like when Chaos drained them and sucked out all of the bad. Look how well that went. If we had acted any later things would have been irreversible."

Tikal nodded, her fingers brushing over the discolored veins on the hedgehog’s side with a featherlight touch, almost despondent. "But you are not like them, you are an individual made of good and thus cannot process the bad. Your body cannot handle the energy, it can purify it in its own time, yes, but the process is slow. That is why..."

It was why it looked as it did, why some parts of the affected area looked, for lack of a better word, lifeless. Tikal didn’t need to say it, everyone there was thinking it. Even Chaos, who was at the base of the steps looked up with what the hero could only deem as another worried face. Still...none of this was news. It was all what the hedgehog had been expecting, what he had been able to piece together by himself and with a few hints from Kintobor. He supposed, despite its erroneous implications, it did all make sense.

When he had cured Chaos the circumstances had been so very different than they were now. It was like Knuckles had said, the emeralds had been drained of their negative energy, leaving only the good and whatever hadn’t been put in the hero at the time of bringing him back to life. It was the only reason he was able to do what he did on such a grand scale, being able to force out that negative energy wasn’t something he could do in normal circumstances. Not on that scale and not, it seemed, when it was within his own body. At least not to the rate he would have liked.

Given everything else his new chance had granted him, this seemed like a perfect catch-22 but, as with most things, the hero would learn to live with it. It was still a small price to pay.

"Well, that's lovely," he quipped, clearly not as bothered as either echidna had expected judging from their reactions. He already knew this was the extent of their help, neither of them could do much else given their power was tied to The Master Emerald, not the ones tucked safely away at the base. "So there's nothing I can do but wait, I figured as much. Thankfully 's not too bad, not as much as it was a week or two ago, anyway."

More and more he was thankful that the attack that had caused all this wasn’t worse. Yet it gave the hero a new, creeping fear that if The Four ever did come back to finish what they started he might not be so lucky a second time. All the more reason they had to find out who those people were, where they had come from and why they knew about the emeralds in the first place.

Something to consider later, he reckoned, looking from the princess to his brother with a grateful smile. "Thanks for the help, but I should probably head back. I...don't think everyone's quite as happy t’ see me."

The nod he made down below, towards the little blue chao floating around was sure to answer the unspoken question the other two had. It was hard not to notice, frankly. Whenever he visited the island the chao that resided near the shrine were always far too quick to cling onto the hero in any way they could, he had been told this was because of his radiating energy so now that it was more or less tainted it was no wonder the poor creatures looked both torn and wary of him. Even a certain off-red chao was avoiding him. The last thing he wanted to do was cause them any more unneeded stress and Tikal had seemingly understood this and gone to rewrapping his injured side. Though she didn't get far before a light blue, watery, hand reached out to stop her with a gentle touch. The motion enough to cause everyone to look up at odd, almost translucent green eyes.

"Chaos…?"

The demi-god said nothing, which wasn’t exactly unusual but did look between the two echidnas and the hedgehog, lingering on the latter before their eyes flicked to the burned flesh and back again as they spoke in their odd manner.

<< I can take it. The bad energy. Let me help. >>

It was unexpected, so much so that the hero wasn't entirely sure what to say or if it was even a good idea to stop the three-pronged hand from hovering over his side. Fortunately, nothing happened, not just yet, and the two pairs of jewel-colored eyes locked onto one another. Oddly enough, the hero wasn't frightened by the offer, merely confused and wary, chiefly for Chaos' sake.

Knuckles, however, snorted gently, a sound of realization. Now, why hadn't they thought of this before? "Of course. It makes sense, they did drain the negative energy from the emeralds after all, this would be just like back then. Just on a smaller scale. Seems good or bad Chaos can handle the energy."

The words didn't help as much as the echidna was maybe hoping they would, in fact they only made the hedgehog frown. While well aware that this was nothing compared to what the demi-god had acquired before there was still a caution about the hero, who knew all too well what negative energy could do to a person. Even as Chaos finally closed the small space and laid a hand on the wound. It was an odd feeling, cool and yet warm at the same time, ever-shifting like the tide but still a solid thing. Still, nothing happened until Sonic looked at those substantial eyes once more, his hesitation clear but nothing but confidence, assuredness, in Chaos' features.

A moment more passed before the hero relented. What did they have to lose? He trusted that Chaos wouldn't have offered if it meant there was the slightest possibility of something bad happening, and it was so rare that the demi-god took the initiative that the hero almost felt bad for wanting to deny them. It was the first time they had a chance to offer the hero what they had always wanted to give them since their fateful day in the city: help. So, with a small release of breath, mainly to relax, the hero gave a small nod.

It was all Chaos needed, an equal nod given in return before the faintest glow surrounded not only their hand but the wound itself. Another unusual feeling. Sonic had never wondered what it might have felt like to have something unseen, something leaning on the side of deadly, pulled out of him, but he certainly experienced the sensation that afternoon. It hurt, he wouldn’t deny that much, but the pain was fleeting, momentary, before it seemed to cease altogether. Though it was the small sound of surprise from Tikal that had the hero looking down at his side once Chaos stepped back, both pleased and astonished to see nothing but natural, unharmed skin. No burn, no dark tendrils. No fur either, but the hero certainly wasn’t going to complain about that much, it would grow back in a few day’s time. It always did.

Yet, ever true to his nature the hero looked back to Chaos, particularly their hand with an air of concern. He was met with what he assumed to be a faint laugh, both of the water god's hands raising and neither any worse for wear.

<< Fear not. Small amounts are fine, I am fine. And now so are you. Yes? >>

It was a mix of relief, gratitude and the inability to resist after seeing Chaos' triumphant expression that made the hero smile, truly smile that was. He took just a moment to gather himself, to make sure that things really were back to normal, before replying with a gentle, "I am, yeah...thank you."

Chaos only shook their head, once more surprising not just Sonic but the two echidnas watching the proceedings with clear investment, when they reached out to place that very same hand on the hero's head. Not in a way that was meant to be demeaning, it was precisely the opposite.

<<Thanks is unnecessary. You saved me. I want to do the same. You are family. >>

They weren't words the hero had been expecting and, little did he know, his eyes gave away just how thankful he was to hear them even before he could voice them out loud. A chance he never got given how, just a split moment later, he was nearly flattened by a dozen or so chao. Thank goodness for his reflexes and steady feet. Though now it seemed he had to stay just a little while longer, if only to make up for lost time with the little creatures nuzzling into blue and tan fur alike. Chaos knew they weren't going to let him go anytime soon, after all.

Sonic would say this. Despite the obvious next steps, despite the fact they still had to find The Four, he was glad things were more or less back to normal. Hopefully, they would stay that way for a bit longer.

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hellanoragami-blog · 5 years

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Chapter 81 Thoughts

I really, really, really didn’t want to analyze this chapter when the second half dropped. Mostly because it’s one of the worst chapters to deal with emotionally, to date. But hey, the show must go on, right? This was a lot to deal with, so excuse my thoughts being more or less all over the place.

The chapter starts off with Yukine reiterating the question, “How did I die?”. There are junior high students walking past him, emphasizing the concept of life and what he’s left behind. Notice how his shadow is several shades lighter than the others, which is no doubt a reminder of the fact that he is no longer living; he is not a denizen of the near shore, thus his presence within it is fleeting.

The chapter pans back to Kofuku’s, where everyone is finishing up the renovations and socializing. We have Kofuku antagonizing Takemikazuchi to stay, which... he clearly wants no part of. And Kiun? Mistaking milk for salt? Either he can’t read, or he’s jerking Daikoku around for laughs. Either way, he manages to get a slight rise out of the guy. Mission successful! They greet Yukine, who--after a few words--asks them if they remember how they died.

BIG no-no.

The falling of a roof panel masks the question, which I thought was the sound in which the shinki were reacting to. (I’m sure now that the point of the roof damaging gag was to create a sound so that the shinki wouldn’t hear Yukine’s question.)

Upon re-reading, it’s apparent that a high-pitched noise following the crash is what seems to do it. Curiously, the Gods are unaffected. But it seems like they know what was asked, despite the crash. This makes me believe that the noise is a sort of alarm set in place as a protection, maybe. Or, at least a warning.

They quickly take their leave along with their shinki. Kofuku’s in tears, apologizing to Yukine as she goes. Then, they’re gone--leaving behind an extremely confused Yukine, all alone.

The scene switches to Yato and Kazuma, who are having trouble hitting their targets. This is because they are not synchronized. Yato is still calling him Kazuma, and not the name he gave him. This is likely putting Kazuma at a distance, and Kazuma is doing the same by stinging Yato.

Unless they can both work through their current trials, I don’t see them being able to match up enough to go up against Father. As much as I hate to say it, this might just be a waste of time if they don’t improve soon.

All this is going to accomplish is Yato being too weak to fight because he’s blighted, and Kazuma missing the one possible shot he does have.

The chapter pans back over to Yukine, who has delved deep in trying to figure out whatever he can about himself. This is a long-shot, especially considering that he has absolutely nothing to go on. No names, no dates, no locations... nothing. It’d be a stroke of convenience if he did actually end up finding anything. (Too convenient, I’d say.)

Luckily Nora shows up, and asks what he’s up to. Upon hearing his spiel about wanting to know more about himself, we can see her grow increasingly perturbed. She takes the newspapers outside, then rushes inside to grab a match. All the while reprimanding Yukine for doing precisely what she told him not to do. She explains that he’s been abandoned, just like she has. He’s very contagious, so everyone is keeping him at a distance. Understandable, but still.

The thing is, Yukine doesn’t understand. Of course he wouldn’t, because there’s nothing wrong with wanting to learn about something, generally. Yukine doesn’t get how he’s never thought about it, because it really is a topic that should have been obvious, right? So he really wants to know who he was before he died. He wants to know about his family, and where he came from. Nora voices against him questioning this further, which he pushes back with wondering, aloud, if she knows something.

Then he hits the nail on the head with asking if their masters know their pasts.

Nora gains an extremely threatening look, one that is clearly a mix of ‘back off of it’ and ‘holy shit’. Her hand trembles as she momentarily hesitates in lighting the papers on fire, displaying just how bothered she is by the whole situation. She claims to have no idea and drops the match, and walks away. Yukine calls after her, accusing her of lying. But she’s already gone, so he works on putting the fire out.

He said he’s happy to know of a time where he was alive, and says that he wants to meet his parents. Honestly, this whole page only managed to nauseate me because I knew better. He has this idea in his head that he probably had a good family, that he was just the result of a tragic accident. Sadly, we all know that this isn’t the case. I can’t say much for his mother, but I’m certain that his father wasn’t good to him. (Hell, he’s the one who killed him, after all.) It’ll hit him that much harder when he figures it out, I think. Aside from his dad, I hope we get some information about his mother and sister, when the time comes.

Nora sits outside of the gate, looking almost tense as she listens to his sobs. I really want to think that if she is still related to Father and his plans in any way, that she’s having second thoughts. She genuinely doesn’t seem to want Yukine to find out the secret. Maybe she believes that he isn’t strong enough to overcome it? Either way, I can understand why she’d want to discourage him. I just wish she could be crystal clear on why he shouldn’t pursue that truth. Unless she actually can’t, but only time will tell.

We finally get a look at Hiyori, who is with Ami and Yama. Supposedly on their way home from school. Hiyori pauses at the shrine to thank the Gods for their services, and she catches Tenjin and Ebisu forcefully snubbing her. It’s obvious that it bothers her, even if she says it’s fine.

She catches sight of Trash Dad, who is flying by on a bird ayakashi. When she confronts him, he tells her that Yukine now wants to know who he really is. He also reveals the interesting fact that a shinki will only question their death if it’s brought up by a person from the far shore; hearing it from the other side won’t mean much. As Yukine did, when Hiyori hinted at it originally. As it stands, Yato is losing everyone; and Father is making sure of that. I mean, face it--no one wants to risk their shinki to stand with him. It’s different from the covenant, where they’d at least have a chance to win. Here, there isn’t one. If they lose their shinki to the secret, that’s it. They’re gone forever, as far as they know.

I guess Father’s had enough of Yato trying to do his own thing; he’s going to force him back by any means necessary, even if it means taking everything away from him. He says that the only way Yato will be able to deal with Yukine will be to either release him, or kill him. (Okay, look. I really just don’t buy that. I don’t know why, but I don’t.) Hiyori becomes angry at this, and elects to attack him. He has his wolves counter attack, leaving her alive, but injured.

Okay! There are a couple things I want to talk about. We’ll tackle Hiyori, first. It’s clear that she’s injured. On her side, on her tail--she’s bleeding from both areas, but Father decided to keep her alive. So that begs the question of, “What are the consequences of this attack?”. Father’s parting words make it sound like death would have been better.

How will this attack effect Hiyori, and what impact will it have on their relationship? Even if this is all Father’s fault, I doubt Yato’s going to see it that way once he gets wind of what’s going on. I hope someone finds Hiyori soon, so that she can get the help she needs. It looks like her cord has also been damaged, so I’m pretty anxious to see what that’s going to cause. It’d have to be someone from the far shore who helps her since she’s out of her body, so our options are pretty limited, here.

The second thing I wanted to talk about was this.

The cat. We’ve seen it before, but only once--back in chapter 25.

It’s a weird looking cat, but I never really thought anything of it at the time. Well, until this chapter, anyway. The cat has never been mentioned or used by Nora or Yato, and hasn’t even been around at the same times. And aside from the eye marking on the bell around it’s neck, it doesn’t have that marking anywhere on it’s actual body. And it isn’t seen among Father’s collection of ayakashi that he uses.

There’s someone else talking to him on page 43 that appears to use the same format that shinki do. It’s obviously not the bird, because that one is an ayakashi. Could the cat actually be a regalia, then? I personally think it’s possible.

In the same way Edachi was also Father’s shinki, we never actually saw him use the guy. So this could be a shinki we’ve never seen the human form of. Or at least, not noticeably. I think Gods and shinki can recognize a shinki when they see one, so that’s likely why we’ve never seen the cat in the same frame as Yato or Nora.

And, that creature seems pretty damn affectionate with Father. I don’t like it.

I just hope that Yato comes back, soon. He put so much faith in Kofuku and Daikoku to look after his kid, and that plan fell through. And, Hiyori’s in danger, now. Father waited until the time was right to pull all of this, so this probably isn’t even the extent of what he’s going to do, sadly.

#noragami meta #nana discusses noragami #i kinda just wanna lay down forever #noragami spoilers #noragami

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