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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

Text

The week in review:

Raw 10/12 NXT 10/14 NXT UK 10/15 Smackdown 10/16

Raw:

Love that Dana and Mandy now have a theme, but drop the “Mandy” intro.

So they’re saying Miz is the reason these 2 were traded over before the draft?

Unfair nitpick: Mandy deserves to wear all the Gucci she wants, but I’m a little irritated because that’s Charlotte’s thing. I’m an idiot, I know.

I appreciate that wwe is taking this new team serious enough to give them a platform to work out any pre-teaming kinks.

Mandy doing real decent mic work. Especially compared to Lana and Dana. Good for her.

Dana needs to work on her speed.

I like the way Mandy went into that armdrag by hitting the ropes first. Point.

*Dana pins Lana*; *Mandy climbs halfway through the ropes like she might interrupt* ???

Mandy can be a decent face, why not. She’s a little bland rn but it’s a work in progress.

Like the knee strike by Mandy into the senton by Dana, especially off Mandy’s shoulders. Fine finisher.

Lol Nattie mad Lana lost them the match again. Ma’am tbf you get taken out by a punch and then crumple up into a ball far too often.

“Are you really that stupid” in kf I kinda get splitting them up, but in a meta sense, Nattie was the perfect partner for Lana.

Zelina: “Alexa Quinn seems to have a little bit of an identity crisis going on [...] she’s a joke to me,” Why do you care about Alexa Bliss? Cuz she’s cute and psychotic and makes me fear for my life, as she should for you too.

“Twisted union” omg they did dual Sister Abigails. See Zelina you should’ve just sat there and ate your food.

Zelina ran her mouth about Alexa, so Fiend accompanied Alexa in an ambush and they took out Zelina and her client together. This is precious, I love this story. Love that Fiend will do Alexa’s bidding just the same. Points.

Fitting to make Nia and Shayna the 2 hated ones in the battle royal. Still love their dynamic.

Sexy Muscles Friends rekt by Nia. Shame.

Nia is so fucking funny. Sees all of the women looking at her with fire in their eyes, and she’s like, “just breathe” before they stampede on over.

Lmfao Nia eliminated in part by Shayna. I can’t stop laughing.

WELP RIP LANA. I know who’s winning this one now.

Not an ounce of me cares about Drew and Randy brawling.

Wise of Lacey to use Nikki’s tornado ddt attempt to set her over the rope. She gets a point.

Good for Bianca getting the elimination over Shayna. Deep history there.

Love seeing Riott Squad evade each other in the ring. This spot was totally planned, but it’s still great.

Lana won by eliminating Nattie lmfao. I hate that she won cuz wow that’s an awful challenger for Asuka, but that’s hilarious karma.

Again I don’t fucking care about Drew or Randy, bye.

Highlight: Alexa & Fiend wrecking Zelina & Andrade

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NXT:

I mean Ember should definitely be in nxt, that’s where she’ll shine. She was spinning her wheels as a mere spot monkey on the MR. If she learns how to do promos, maybe she can try up on the MR again in the future.

*The Garganos plan to overcome all odds* No.

Rhea may not own the place but she owns the division. Io may be champion but Rhea is the obvious standout. Sorry bout it.

I liked that. Challenge is made in the pc by Raquel, Rhea overhears it, and they decide to fight then and there before being held back by officials. I approve of this segment. Points.

The disrespect shown to Shotzi’s helmet. Whew what a bitch lol.

Love the block to Candice’s neckbreaker, hate how long it took Shotzi to kick Candice. Full second wasted.

Ugly suicide dive. Didn’t feel impactful whatsoever.

lol kicked out at one. Candice said fuck your suicide dive. Fair.

Candice and her sorry ass attempt at her discount Natural Selection EVERY SINGLE MATCH SHE FIGHTS IN infuriates me. Negative 3 points.

Candice’s entire demeanor isn’t buyable. Her and her slow, methodical bs style. She’d be eaten alive on the MR.

Good counter by Candice. There are high risk moves that Shotzi needs to not do on random tv matches.

Haha Shotzi kicked out of the backstabber and springboard moonsault. Good.

That moonsault is absolutely not textbook. Io’s is textbook. Lacey’s is textbook. Charlotte’s is textbook. All of them can do the backflip part perfectly aligned and straight. Candice’s is ugly as sin in comparison, only difference is hers is a springboard.

*sigh* okay so if you want to built a repertoire between Indi and Candice, having Indi give her brass knuckles to help her win the match is great. But ffs Candice, after you pop Shotzi on the apron, fucking THROW THEM DOWN ON THE GROUND and then go for the cover. How awkward, watching her hold her arm behind her back for 2 friggin minutes before giving them back to Indi. Mk.

So Toni’s entire repackage is literally JUST new music and calling herself a heel?

GREAT neckbreaker by Aliyah.

Sure whatever. Anyway.

Highlight: Raquel & Rhea pc segment

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NXT UK:

I don’t know what’s worse; watching a long match of nothing but wrist locks and rest holds, or watching the competitors become exhausted from doing nothing but wrist locks and rest holds.

This is wrestling with no ropes, no turnbuckles, and no running allowed.

I remember once in 2019, people said Piper Niven is what wwe wants Nia Jax to be, but 10x better. You know what Nia Jax does well? Comedy. She understands how to be an entertainer. She understands how to perform in the ring without busting out that sweet workrate. Nia Jax found her niche, and that’s why she has a title rn. Piper Niven has not. In the spirit of fairness as well, the pandemic has not treated a lot of these women kindly, and it’s apparent to me that Piper has supremely suffered from it.

This makes me want to go watch Sasha vs Nia 2019. That’s how you make an intriguing match utilizing the difference in size between competitors.

Lol so Piper is in the corner, Isla hops up onto the turnbuckle in the opposite side of the ring, Piper slowly walks over and stops a mere 2 feet from where Isla is crouching up top, and then just stands there until Isla hits a meteora. Lmao. This should’ve been 3 mins with zero wrist locks. Anyway.

Highlight: the ending sequence by Piper was fine

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Smackdown:

Great video hyping up Bianca. It’s cool to see how highly wwe rates her. Hopefully they take their time with her, because there’s still some things she needs to work on in the ring, but she has the full package imo. Just needs more time to cook.

It’s interesting how it worked out that Sasha became the queen of Hell in a Cell.

Bayley’s such an asshole, I love her so much.

“...which I did ALL BY MYSELF by the way,” lmfao PLEASE. That shit would have been gone at Wrestlemania had it not been for Sasha.

To be fucking fair, it’s buyable for Bayley to be overly paranoid and believe Sasha turning on her was inevitable, considering Sasha HAS been eyeing that title since 2019. She still stayed loyal though, Bayley. Could’ve let some nobody win it off you and then take it from them herself... but she didn’t.

The execution isn’t the best, but the points that Sasha is bringing to the table are valid. Problem is they went over 2016, 2017... and skipped to the tag titles in 2019. Y’all had ISSUES in 2018 lmao but it’s fine, we’ll pretend it never happened. Probably for the best. 6 month build that amounted to nothing other than a brilliant one liner of, “YOU AIN’T SHIT SASHA”

Lmao Bayley refusing to sign it. Bahahaha. Sasha should be calling her a chicken shit lesbireal. Coward isn’t strong enough.

Highlight: Bayley being a delusional asshole

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*Raw shined the brightest this week thanks to Alexa and the battle royal.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#alexa bliss

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

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The week in review:

Raw 11/16 NXT 11/18 NXT UK 11/19 Smackdown 11/20 Survivor Series 11/22

Raw:

Appreciate Lana providing logic to the creation of this match.

“Is this a Disney movie” lmao.

Honestly Shayna works better as a henchman than as a final boss.

Love Lana’s theme btw.

rip Mandy.

Ugly kick by Asuka. Not a compliment.

hahaha Lana tagged herself into the match while Shayna had Asuka in the clutch. hahahahah.

“You suck, get out” rofl.

Asuka you’re trash for not saving Lana. Truly.

“I’m actually really proud of you, you showed a lot of courage tonight.” Nia is funny. A bitch and a bully, sure, but funny.

There’s number 9. rip.

First of all, Dana’s shaky interview was going really well, and I wish they had let her finish it cuz god knows she needs the practice.

Second, WHY IS MIA YIM ATTACKING DANA OF ALL PEOPLE?

I’m not sorry, I shamelessly love Bray and Alexa together, goodbye.

“Your word is... jackass” lmaooo why is he even doing a spelling bee to prep for this match.

rip Rambling Rabbit for the 38th time.

What makes him being killed so damn demented is not only the way he exhibits agony and suffering as he dies, but the way they STAND BY LAUGHING UNCONTROLLABLY. This is the definition of sociopathy.

“Bullseye!” “More like... Rabbit’s heart!” *continues laughing hysterically* jfc.

Really love how Alexa puts her hand beneath her chin and then waves. That goes along with her characteristics developed since the fairy gimmick in nxt back in 2014/2015, to the cosplaying mean girl in 2016/2017/2018, to the babyface in 2019/2020. Also adds another layer with her gloves. Love that.

Nikki’s wandering around looking for Alexa, when clearly she should be looking for the Firefly Funhouse. I suggest asking Seth or Randy.

“Friends never give up on each other,” they also don’t give each other ultimatums cuz that’s toxic af, but okay.

She keeps running her mouth about Fiend and I can already see Alexa demolishing her for it.

LOVE the cohesion in going from one segment to the other as Sarah runs around looking for an interview. Fitting since that’s obviously her job, but it went together smoothly. They really come off as tmz lol.

I appreciate how Miz doesn’t want to fuck with Bray cuz he knows Bray will just torment his family lol. I also appreciate his reasoning because he’s a true opportunist. he doesn’t want to exhaust himself with this match cuz he might cash in later.

Love Alexa’s remixed theme, it’s jarring af. Walking red flag btw.

Oh nooo Nikki what are you doinggg.

I’m not a fan of how Nikki sold this interaction. Didn’t feel natural at all.

OH SHIT the sound of that slap, oof.

Oh my god I love how Bray came out and glared at Nikki. FANTASTIC. Absolute gold. Then he just smiles at Alexa as she takes his arm to escort him to the ring.

And the way the camera focuses back on Miz and Morrison... Miz’s face... I can’t, this is tremendous tbh. What a great story to run throughout this week’s Raw.

lmfao the way Alexa stuck her head between the ropes to scare Morrison. Ugh this pairing is easily my favorite thing in wwe rn.

Interesting, so Bray protects her. A fair duo.

I will never not cringe at watching people pretend to break someone’s neck by twisting it to the side. If I was a wrestler, that’s a move I would NEVER allow to be done to me.

On the plus side, Alexa took out Morrison and he sold it really fucking well. On the negative, it seems that distracted Bray as he’s more concerned for her well being now.

Oh my god the way Alexa reappears from behind the barricade. Creepy as shit.

Love watching her “balance” on the barricade considering she was one hell of a gymnast in her day.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for watching Lacey progress in the ring, cuz I think her character work is just fantastic, but holy shit what a downgrade going from Mandy and Dana to Lacey and Peyton.

Why is she excited? Why is it exciting to fight Sasha? Maybe Asuka should’ve taken that match a bit more seriously, considering the outcome. But I’m jumping ahead of myself.

“No one is ready for Asuka,” except for Charlotte, Becky, Shayna, Alexa, Sasha...

I do appreciate how Lacey isn’t scared of anyone while Peyton is wary of literally everyone. That’s good. Nia has a point though, y’all could’ve used Mandy. I guess it doesn’t matter though, considering the outcome. Jumping ahead of myself again.

“Worst idea since Quibi” lmao shots fired.

*Bonus* Peyton/Lacey online exclusive: they vibe real well off script. Peyton made points saying she can’t wait to teach Lacey how to be on a team. That’s valid cuz Lacey is NOT much of a team player. Points to Lacey though, she’s funny as hell.

Highlight: Alexa Bliss

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NXT:

Awesome hearing War Pigs during that Shotzi promo. Is that the official theme song for War Games? If so, baller to wwe for shelling that cash out.

I’m guessing Shotzi was fixing her tank? Was that the premise? Regardless, the setting was different and interesting.

I really like the fencing around nxt’s ringside. Fits with the grungy “indie” feel.

God I’m gonna have to watch Candice defeat Kayden and Kacy aren’t I?

Indi bought the Garganos a flat screen tv? :/ mk. What does she have to gain? Johnny was an AWFUL champion and Candice has never even held gold. What is she hoping to accomplish?

“Indi is gaining one of the best mentors in the nxt locker room” lmao WHAT.

omg Kacy and Kayden are so fucking entertaining, I feel like I say this every time I watch them. All tag teams need to TAKE. NOTES. Look at that cohesion and teamwork. Whew.

Hold on don’t try to retcon Tegan as leaving Candice’s side. I hate Tegan even more than I hate Candice, and she was a shite friend to Dakota by proxy of being a spineless dweeb, but do not try to paint Candice as the victim in her feud with Tegan.

I know nothing about the Dakota/Candice friendship but I’d go ahead and blame Dakota since she’s hella douchey lmao.

Imagine thinking Indi is an upgrade from Dakota. Commentary is super funny and distracting tonight lmao.

Was that not a flatliner? Sure looked like an intended flatliner.

So Kacy attempts to kill herself in the process of taking out Indi and none of the cameras caught it? :/ we still using interns looking for college credits in production? Is that what’s happening??

Vic is kind of an awful commentator in his actual calls. “Nice suplex, almost a brainbuster” better hope that was a brainbuster cuz if not, that was the saddest fucking suplex I’ve ever seen in my life.

So Kacy almost kills herself using offense against Indi and Indi was coherent first? Ugh anyway.

Why do we have to listen to Ember speak every week? What a terrible idea.

So now she’s gonna be nxt’s savior by getting rid of Dakota and Raquel? Oh for fuck’s sake.

Why does she have fucking soda tabs on her gear still.

Why is she teaming with Toni. I THOUGHT THEY WERE HEELS. Seriously, am I the dumb one? Am I the one who needs their hand held? Has Ember not been acting like a heel since she returned? Am I the only one confused about Toni’s alignment??

“We’ve fallen victim to the numbers game” WHEN have you fallen victim to the numbers game, Toni? WHO WROTE THIS.

I know nxt wants me to give a shit about Ember and Toni, but good luck making me care about anyone down there more than Dakota or Rhea.

I would really appreciate it if Dakota was moved up to the MR without actually showing any dissention from Raquel.

Dakota calls a lot of matches, I’ve noticed. Pro shit.

Toni’s German suplexes are amazing if she’s actually never hurt anyone, cuz MAN they look gnarly af.

Gorgeous tornado ddt by Ember. Nice speed, great handling by Raquel.

Don’t Dakota and Toni have quite the history? From UK?

Today in wrestling commentary: Vic cannot tell the difference between left and right.

Whoa I just noticed Dakota isn’t wearing her knee brace. That’s kind of monumental, right? Isn’t that a big deal? I feel like that’s a big deal.

Honestly I might like Toni more than Ember. She comes off as a lot more likable since her move to nxt.

Oh Christ I gotta see Candice again.

Hi why isn’t this main eventing? Do Rhea fucking Ripley and Io fucking Shirai not deserve it?? For real???

Hate it when refs hold the title up crooked. Noob.

Holy shit Io’s speed is TOP. TIER. Whew.

And then slips on the turnbuckle, sad. Could’ve been worse, could’ve been a Shotzi wipeout (and that’s what I’m gonna call it from now on)

What Io has in speed, Rhea has in strength, these are the facts.

Why did Vic cut Beth off by saying exactly what she was in the middle of saying? Vic’s losing a lot of points tonight tbh.

oof gnarly German suplex off the second rope by Io.

Oh my, Rhea’s ear is covered in blood. Must have punctured her ear with an earring. Rough. I say this as someone who has her fair share of piercings: it BOGGLES MY MIND why any of these women wrestle with their piercings in lmao. No ma’am.

Brutal match, whew.

Rhea wiped her own blood on her face.

There are some aprons spots with Rhea obviously waiting around that needed some work.

Rhea can sell, certainly, but her screaming is way too dramatic at times. Most notably at wm in the empty arena, but this match is a close second. Almost borders on annoying.

Niiice Rhea adding a nice vortex spin on the tail end of her cloverleaf submission. Points. Keep that.

Oh that Riptide attempt countered into an armbar by Io. BEAUTIFUL.

I liked that. Io goes for the 619 in the middle rope, Rhea ducks. Io goes for the 619 on the lower rope, Rhea dodges. Io strikes her a couple times, Rhea falls to the opposite side of the ring and Io proceeds to hit the 619. Good stuff.

Lol Io’s smiling at Rhea kicking out of the missile dropkick.

Nice flip off of Rhea’s clothesline but I’m not a fan of Io landing her moonsault on her feet. That’s not really her M.O.

Fucking spiked Rhea with a ddt by countering the Riptide again. That’s a solid champion, has her opponent completely scouted.

Beautiful sunset flip powerbomb through the ropes with Rhea landing through a table. Would’ve been cool if Rhea had let go right away, though.

In kf, I give points to Rhea for dragging herself from the rubble just to eat a clean pin. Great match.

Highlight: Io vs Rhea

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NXT UK:

Wow robbing me of KLR’s entrance. Guess Piper is officially the heel.

Quit calling her a “new” Piper Niven. A slight aggression is hardly “new”

BE CAREFUL WITH KLR’S SNAZZY COAT.

Y’all got tape out? Have we learned nothing from Bayley/Sasha hiac?

CHUCKED A FUCKING RING BELL INTO PIPER’S HEAD LMAO

Ugh headbutt that takes everyone out. Tsk.

Ric who? Charlotte’s dad??

Who do I gotta pay to see KLR vs Becky Lynch in an extreme match?!

KLR rolls away after that fisherman buster on the outside. Smart points.

Alright listen I’m on KLR’s side but WHY IS JINNY OUT HERE

Lol smacked Piper with a ‘no entry’ sign. Haha.

And Piper broke a sign over KLR’s head, followed by puns from the commentators.

rip random guitar.

Match doesn’t have any creative spots really, but they sure know how to utilize random objects.

BRO YOU CAN’T TAKE A STEEL PIPE TO HER KNEE ON CONCRETE, THAT’S HELLA RUDE. KLR lit a fire under Piper’s ass and Piper’s trying to retire her as thanks. Super, super rude.

Fuck her up fam, I don’t even feel bad.

??? Did KLR even land through the table or did she just land straight onto the fucking concrete? Jesus Christ man. No, she didn’t, she slid into the second table and just ate the floor. Oh my god. IS SHE OKAY??

Highlight: That vicious ending gained KLR a lot of respect in my eyes

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Smackdown:

Imagine being surprised that Adam chose the longest reigning SD women’s champion as his team captain. Granted she’s probably despised by everyone, but she’s got the pedigree, come on now.

Look how good Bayley looks. Whew.

“You know what time it is? Bayley time.” she’s so annoying rofl.

Wow riveting stuff, I have zero comments about this 2 min match tbh.

Go stand in the ring with your damn captain, Bianca.

Lmao Bayley allergic to hugs now. Character progression.

It’s quite the team I’m ngl. I just wish we could’ve wrapped up this Sasha/Bayley shit like... months ago so we could enjoy captain Bayley for a bit longer. Gonna burn through this in one damn episode. It’s a bummer.

*Bonus* Nattie’s online exclusive: “I sailed through some rough waters [...] I’m smart, I’m sexy, I’m funny, I’m rich” She is funny, I will give her that.

We’re getting Asuka/Sasha face to face? For real? Okay.

Cute, Sasha’s smile toward Asuka actually looked genuine. I miss when Sasha seemed genuine. It’s like Bayley killed that part of her.

“Michael are you forgetting what time it is?” BAYLEY TI-- “It is boss time, baby!” welp my mistake.

I’ve played Asuka’s dialogue to Sasha 3x and I still have no idea what she was saying because of her ridiculous fucking dancing and animation. I’m tired. Bayley come take her title.

Omg now she’s doing “you can’t see me” SHE ACCOMPLISHES NOTHING I absolutely despise her being champion.

Actually she is ready for Asuka, and I’m gonna take great joy in watching her win this Sunday. Sasha is hella unlikeable until the moment that bell rings, then she’s a god. Is what it is.

Booo Sasha was actually doing good on the mic, how dare you ruin that, Carmella.

Asuka is awful. Even Becky and Ronda fought off common enemies once upon a time. Asuka helps legit N O B O D Y. Awful champion.

Highlight: Captain Bayley

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Survivor Series:

Love Sasha’s gear.

Asuka kicked out at one, quick everyone cry about her selling. Oh wait she’s not Charlotte, my bad.

Beautiful attempt at an armbar by Sasha, whew.

Sasha is so good at this whole wrestling thing lol.

Nice pop up from that backstabber.

Right and in contrast, Asuka is an amazing striker.

Oh a codebreaker to Sasha as she dangles from the second rope. Gorgeous move.

Ahhhh the blue haired god got the job done. I knew she’d win but it’s so gratifying to see.

Not much to say about the match. The spots weren’t brutal or super creative/innovative, but it had GREAT back and forth and really showcased their chemistry in technical wrestling. Also might very well have been the best match they’ve had yet, seemed pretty short though. Still, an enjoyable watch. Good for Sasha.

Lol the disdain in Nia’s face as she looks at Lana.

Look, Bayley’s arm band says ‘captain’ so she’s the captain.

Love seeing how creative people get with their gear at Survivor Series, as opposed to just throwing a damn brand shirt on. Looking at you, 2016.

One thing I’ve learned about Bayley is if she calls you sister, she genuinely likes you behind the scenes. So glad to see Lacey is in her good graces.

Omg Lacey learned how to do a kip up, everybody clap.

Love how the light shines off of Nattie’s gear. Got rainbows popping.

Squatting while stalling a suplex, and synchronized kip ups. Bianca and Nattie are fun.

“Bayley and the great Becky Lynch,” Oh shit, peep that RESPECT we’re putting on her name now? She gets ‘the great’?? wwe finally seeing her on the same level as ‘the great’ Charlotte Flair??? I am shook. Good for her, fucking deserved (also poor Bayley rofl)

Lana tags herself in again lmao. Nia 5 seconds from killing her. Look, Lana tries. Let her try.

I can’t breathe. she been put in timeout.

(referring to a move by Peyton) “I give that a perfect 10“ PPPFFFFTTTT

What a bump by Bayley; a suplex off the top rope onto the entire roster on the outside, and what a great locker room leader to be checking on everyone IMMEDIATELY as if she didn’t just fucking take a massive bump. Also poor Lana standing over there watching the fun lol.

Now I already knew Peyton pinned Bayley cuz of the outrage by Bayley fans who deemed her “buried” afterward, but I think it was a poor decision to have Peyton get that pin. Peyton sucks, not sorry. Have Lacey get that pin before Peyton. Actually, have Lana get that pin before Peyton.

Not sure what Nattie was going for with that submission to Peyton, but she improvised real quick. So points.

Doesn’t Nattie usually wear wrist guards? Awkward seeing her without them.

Goes for a sharpshooter on a woman who’s not even active rn. I’m removing her points lmao.

I legit never get to see Bianca’s 450 splash and you know what? Fuck y’all.

Well Bianca’s a great partner to do a Spanish Fly with so, good on Lacey.

That’s an interesting elimination. Ruby would’ve pinned Shayna as she had rolled back and reversed the Clutch, but the ref was distracted by Nia. By the time he started counting, Ruby had passed out. Interesting.

Crucifix Bomb by Liv eliminates Lacey, fucking dope.

Having Bianca as the last survivor on her team is great for Bianca. This is a compliment from management.

BEAUTIFUL catch by Shayna into the Clutch. Wow that was nice.

Ah we redoing the spot from their Takeover match, IE my introduction to Bianca. Solid.

Oh this is good. Bianca passed out from the Clutch while on the ropes so Shayna was disqualified. Nia drug Bianca out of the ring to put her through the announce table and they started brawling until they were both counted out.

Again, I knew Lana was the sole survivor but seeing it happen is fucking hilarious. Nice protection for Bianca though, and seeing Nia this pissed off is so cathartic.

Highlight: Bianca was the real standout imo

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*Survivor Series shined the brightest as we had both a great technical match, and a fun, entertaining multiwoman match filled with shenanigans. If that’s a cop out, then I’ll give it to NXT this week.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#bianca belair

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

Text

The week in review:

Raw 10/19 NXT 10/21 NXT UK 10/22 Smackdown 10/23 Hell in a Cell 10/25

Raw:

I’m here to give Alexa credit once more for making me give a shit about the Fiend. I do like his entrance, especially without a live crowd.

What a visual... them standing together hand in hand.

I love that they kept the monitors set on the graphics for this segment. No offense to the audience, but seeing them would’ve ruined this.

Amazing transition from Fiend and Alexa to the next segment/match. Major points.

Still a vicious elimination to Lacey by Natalya.

I intend to take this title match as seriously as wwe has - not within a football field of giving a shit. I know how this entire angle ends anyway (preemptive welcome back, Queen) but let’s watch it through. See how this face turn worked out for Lana.

Asuka really is insanely fast, I’ll give her that.

Great rollup attempt by Lana (shades of Nattie/Alexa), great counter by Asuka into the Asuka Lock, and great job to Lana for grabbing the ropes. Points.

I’m sure this is all rehearsed, but Lana obviously puts in the work. Do I think she’ll ever be a singles champion? Absolutely not, but at least she isn’t complacent.

Is it the tables? Is that what led to Lana turning face?

This was good for Asuka. This was good booking. She didn’t look like a chump giving Lana offense, and she looked both strong and smart post-match. Solid.

By that logic, ShaNia owns NXT’s division as well. Just saying.

Really wish they’d nix the “Mandy” intro.

Stop I never wanna hear Peyton’s theme again, plz.

So they really never did explain why Peyton and Lacey became a thing? Mk. They seem like genuine friends, it’s just too bad they aren’t a compelling tag team in the ring. Would much rather watch Sexy Muscle Friends, ngl.

Hi I like Riott Squad and have no problems with them theoretically being in this match, but why the fuck are they still here lmao. Go to SD.

This better get longer than 10 mins, there are way too many women here for y’all to rob them of time.

It’s nice to see more women give a shit about tag team wrestling/becoming a cohesive unit.

Lacey just cuz you can do a moonsault off the apron, doesn’t mean you should. That was dicey. Fine, but dicey. There’s a reason Charlotte goes up to the top turnbuckle when she does it to the outside (not that I’m suggesting that incredibly high risk spot but I’m js)

Wish Lacey wasn’t so wooden. Wish she was more trusting and flexible like Charlotte.

I’d bet anything Mandy and Dana actually could suplex Nia. Let them try.

Good break up by Shayna. Protect Dana and Mandy’s finisher. Also that was a WICKED knee strike by Mandy.

Everyone’s gonna get a move in now huh. Le sigh.

NICE interrupt again by Shayna, girl with the good timing.

Fair ending. How long was that? 5 mins to the second lmao. Mk, wwe. Mk.

Welp Alexa is officially on Firefly funhouse. Good. Now we get to blur some lines and have a bit more fun with her character.

Highlight: Asuka looking like a dominant champ without squashing Lana

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NXT:

Rhea Ripley #1 in nxt, these are the facts. She’s literally gone through them all. Throw her up to the MR, lesgo.

Watching her handle Charlotte and Piper is so impressive. Beast.

“Gone against Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler,” so got squashed by Bianca and Shayna lmao. Hey, everyone’s got a role I guess. I remember when Alexa was enhancement talent that did a 450 splash and blew glitter all over the stage.

I don’t understand how Ember was wiped out after doing a mere roll off the ropes. It seems like a work since Jessi didn’t react and continued on as if she scored some offense (she didn’t) but that was a nasty landing on Ember’s lower back. Weird.

One count off an uppercut bahahaha

“You done messed up now,” Ember exclaims, after flipping off a fucking snapmare. I liked her better when she had no personality and just wrestled amazingly.

Is Ember a heel now? She’s acting like a heel. Why is she doing submissions? Why is she talking so much trash? Why is she so arrogant? Not a fan.

A springboard back elbow drop? Intriguing, Jessi. Intriguing. Points.

Jessi was too quick for Ember’s (now slow) setup into her codebreaker out of the corner. I’m gonna watch Charlotte vs Ember from 2019 after this, Ember was a lot quicker and cleaner - also cuz I miss Charlotte.

Yeahhh Ember used Jessi’s hair to pull her head back so she could do a crossface. She’s either a garbage babyface, or a heel.

Welp Dakota just turned babyface. Jeeze she be looking fine too. 10 points.

Dakota should be mad. She bumps like a motherfucker for every person she faces, and she made Ember’s botchy moves look amazing. Sucks she had such a stinker against Io, but there’s no way Ember should be rated higher than Dakota rn.

Interesting to note that Dakota came out on her own, as opposed to bringing - or even sending - Raquel.

Why does Xia have to win? Is there a kf contract that’s riding on her victory? Why is a random ass match against Kacy the biggest match of her career lol

Also this interviewer is gorgeous. Eyebrows on fleek, beautiful eyes and flawless hair.

*The Garganos prepare to Spin the Wheel* No.

Love Kacy’s speed. Always a joy to watch in the midcard.

Oh holy shit Kacy won, I did not see that coming. Where we going with this Xia stuff?

Xia gonna single handedly wreck both Kacy and Kayden?

WHY IS RAQUEL OUT HERE? What the fuck did Kacy and Kayden do to Raquel lmaooo

Commentator said Raquel sees Rhea Ripley in everyone she looks at. I say that’s the weakest explanation ever. Y’all just trying to find any reason to give her screen time, and this ain’t it.

“She’s sending a message to Ripley,” RHEA DON’T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THESE BITCHES. Also she’s like 3x the size of all of them lmao what?

“And next week? At Halloween? Havoc?” Girl stay backstage with your promos.

I don’t know wtf the wheel is, but I absolutely loved that segment with Io.

She’s such a special attraction to me. I miss her when she’s not on, and she’s so under saturated that I never get tired of seeing her.

Highlight: Segment with Io

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NXT UK:

Man I really like Nina’s theme song.

After seeing last week’s fucking wrist lock marathon, this aggression is such a breath of fresh air. Not really much of a match, as it a brawl... but that’s perfectly fine lol.

Ahh Nina’s a runner? Interesting, I wouldn’t have guessed that.

Not a fan of Amale’s boots with her gear. Pressing stuff, I know.

Lol thought Nina was about to do a dis-arm-her. Man, I miss Becky.

Nina is a bit awkward with her transitions, I’m noticing.

Beautiful landing of the back body drop by Nina. Practically a swan dive.

Amale did such a lackadaisical pin attempt, and then could barely muster the strength to kick out of one. Ma’am isn’t the worst, but with as green as she is, she should be limited to 3 min sprints.

Seems to be a popular complaint I have with UK, they get gassed insanely easy. wwe needs to build a pc over there or something.

Final Act is a really weak finisher, but considering the speed, I will give points for the way Nina holds her opponent’s neck forward. We like to see performers protecting their partners from getting whiplash.

Love Nina’s voice. Love her whole shtick tbh.

She wants Piper? *sigh* okay. Should’ve just done a tournament to determine KLR’s next opponent, but whatever.

Highlight: Nina’s backstage interview

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Smackdown:

lmfao Bianca’s reaction to being slapped. Ahhhh she’s funny.

Jeeze fucking tossed Zelina across the ring.

oof that speed by Bianca after flipping out of the hurricanrana. Whew.

Bianca straight threw Zelina into the air just to punch her in the throat lmao.

So this match was literally just “watch [Bianca] shine now” aye rep those lyrics, girl.

Confession: sometimes I fangirl over Bayley’s demeanor. She got BDE and you know what? Good for her, good for her.

Points for the chair, Bayley.

“[Sasha is] an ungrateful brat” you know... kind of accurate.

Tbf Bayley, Sasha’s name kind of is bigger than your title, cuz she’s kept herself as an A+ superstar for like 4 years without holding gold. That deserves respect and recognition. That’s a woman keeping solely her name relevant without even being champion. Now in all fairness, I think all 4 of the horsewomen are up to that standing now, but let’s give credit where it’s due.

Sasha deserves to be champion in a meta sense, this is a fact, but man her character is so unlikeable. Like Bayley is a coward and an absolute tool but she still comes off as more genuine. A face turn for Bayley will be so easy. Not asking y’all to rush it wwe, but I’m just saying.

“Just give me the title back and we’ll talk about it,” Bayley says, as if she won’t grab that shit and bolt out of the arena.

Oh that was such a good set up to the spot with Bayley caught upright in the chair. I saw that screenshot months ago, but watching it be set up makes it so much better.

Ma’am I feel like being physically forced and coerced into signing a contract automatically makes it null and void, but hey this is your universe, what do I know.

Vicious - Bayley falling over with a fucking chair wrapped around her neck. Whew what a bump.

“Go help her Cole” LMFAO legit the last person in the company that would come to Bayley’s aid. Good line, Corey. That was a great promo and segment. Mega points.

Highlight: Go home segment for Bayley & Sasha

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Hell in a Cell:

Kind of a weak video package for this feud, ngl. They didn’t bother with the Raw women’s championship, didn’t bother with 2019, Raw 2016/2017, nxt... Closest we got were a couple 2 second clips/screenshots.

By definition, this feud has to be one of the biggest disappointments in recent memory. It had the potential to blow Becky/Charlotte out of the water, and didn’t even enter the same stratosphere. Shame. This is a perfectly fine feud in a vacuum... until you remember it’s fucking Sasha and Bayley. Okay I’ll stop beating a dead horse.

If Sasha were a real babyface, she’d drop that awful Snoop remix.

Sasha looks amazing. Love the contrast of Sasha wearing white and Bayley wearing black. Gonna miss Bayley’s old gear though.

Love Bayley spray painting 1-0 on the chair, since we all obsessed over Sasha’s shitty record ahead of this match lmao.

This feud just never picked up that mountain of tension Becky and Charlotte had at Evolution I’M SORRY.

Why can’t everyone do a headscissors takedown as fast as Sasha can.

Such an innovative way of utilizing a table and the cell to deliver a meteora. POINTS FOR SASHA *applause*

So I like the concept of Sasha rolling under the table and pushing it up into Bayley, but the landing of the table near Sasha’s head made me uneasy. I like the concept of Sasha rotating her body on the apron before jumping straight into a meteora against the cell, but the way she landed against the LED was awkward. The ideas are there though.

Cool watching Sasha jump from the apron to scale the cell, then back to the apron, then jumping over Bayley onto the floor. She’s like a rabbit. I’m underselling this tbh, like 95% of the women in the company can’t do the things Sasha can do.

OOF at Bayley being dropkicked into the steps. What a landing.

At this point, I don’t even want to see a women’s hiac match unless Sasha’s in it, or at the very least has a hand in producing it. Ugh she’d be an amazing match producer, whew.

Ugly landing through the kendo stick onto the steps by Sasha. That’s a spot that would’ve received an audible gasp from a live crowd.

OOF a sunset flip powerbomb into the fucking cell. oof. rip Bayley.

OOF a sunset flip into the fucking chair. oof. rip Sasha.

Positive on Bayley’s botched kendo stick/tape spot: lends credence to how inexperienced Bayley is with handling weapons in kf, and Bayley did a great job vocally improvising - probably earned herself points backstage. A negative: what a disaster of a spot lmfao. Should’ve had it already created and ready to go beneath the ring, or used a broomstick/crutch for the spot instead. Having people handle tape mid match is stupid. Wasn’t Bayley’s fault, but the crowd would’ve shit all over that lesbireal.

If you’re a specified Sasha fan, you’ll probably deem this the greatest match of Sasha’s career, cuz my god did she look amazing in it (and she actually won) but if you’re not, I’ll tell you, they did not do a good job making Bayley shine at the end of her historic reign imo.

Sasha bout to have a breakdown. Good acting.

This match lacks cohesion. Very spotty, but most of the spots are fucking incredible, so it gets a pass.

I like the ladder on the chairs.

Sasha jumping off the set up ladder to do a meteora in the corner was nice. Sasha using a fucking Bayley to Belly onto the ladder was beautiful.

Sasha looking like she wants to cry. Man she’s amazing.

BEAUTIFUL counter out of the Bayley to Belly by Sasha; dropped Bayley into the chair to set up her Bank Statement inside the chair.

Mega points for that single chair being the center of their entire feud, as the rivalry began and ended with that chair. Bravo there.

That’s it, Bayley’s reign is finally over. This match’s review was hella long, but deservedly so. Extremely happy for Sasha. Took her 4 years on the MR giving people banger after banger before wwe trusted her with a legitimate title reign, but we’ve finally made it.

Highlight(s): Both sunset flips by Bayley & Sasha against the chair & cell, respectively

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*hiac blew everything else out of the water by default thanks to Bayley vs Sasha, but both Raw & SD were very enjoyable to me this week as well.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#sasha banks

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anxiety-trademark · 3 years

Text

The week in review:

Raw 11/23 NXT 11/25 NXT UK 11/26 Smackdown 11/27

Raw:

Such a hollow promo by Lana tbh. “I’m dreaming, don’t wake me up.” ??? You were the sole survivor by proxy, it’s not like you did anything. Like good for you, but come on now.

I mean sure, hand out a title shot to fucking Lana, not like anyone else in the entire company cares about that belt. God I miss Becky.

“You may go home Raw women’s champion” HAHAHAHAHAAHHA sure.

“Nikki Cross blames herself for what Alexa Bliss has become,” she should, she straight up threw her hissy fit cuz she didn’t win the title, and then she bailed.

Now don’t get me wrong, I get that Alexa has been... possessed, if you will, by Fiend... but I’m not seeing any signs of Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to her and Bray. Aren’t they both trapped by Fiend in lore? Bray seems to genuinely care about Alexa. Am I off the mark here??

Oh my god this moment of silence for the fucking frog, I--

Topped with them laughing about his death, oooookay. I’m left speechless once again.

Commentators come back with, “Is Alexa Bliss too far gone...” LMFAO bye.

See I love this bullying Lana storyline cuz Nia and Shayna have no real reason to despise her 1/8th as much as they do. It simply boils down to ‘fuck Lana’ and like your typical high school bullies, they seethe when their victim succeeds at anything. It’s old school, believable, and doesn’t cross any lines that would upset parents or sponsors.

Also don’t get me wrong, I’m well aware that this title match is just a vehicle to advance the feud while involving Asuka, I simply wish the creation of the title match itself had been a bit more interesting. Lana’s dialogue ahead of it with both Sarah and Asuka just fell flat for me.

Omfg Asuka threw water on Nia and Shayna, bahahahah I can’t breathe. That might be the highlight of her entire reign, holy shit.

Negative points for her being floored by one punch though.

Well at least the segment ends with both Asuka and Lana standing, that’s not the worst.

Not much to say about this match, it’s really just Nia and Shayna bullying Lana lol.

I’ll give them this, there is absolutely nothing about neither Nia nor Shayna that is even remotely likeable. They play mean really well, and not ‘annoying yet funny’ mean like Bayley, just straight mean.

It’s not that I hate this submission ‘hold’ by Shayna, where she steps on the back of their neck while pulling a leg back, but I’m curious why she switched legs lmao. Awkward.

What a knee strike by Shayna to Asuka, whew that looked nasty.

Lmfao Nia took herself out by charging into the announce desk. I cannot. What a bump. Comedic bump, but a bump. Points.

Haha Shayna ate a rollup. A happy ending indeed. Lana sold that ending well, but it was a weird choice to have her and Asuka on the opposite ends of the ramp.

It’s been like 2 years and I’m still shocked Alexa never turned on Nikki.

This video is kind of just skipping over Nikki throwing her tantrum huh? Alexa played backseat cheerleader just to watch Nikki lose against Bayley 16 times and what did she get in return? Disrespect. Tsk.

Great package though. Points.

Nikki is so inconsistent. Internal conflict is valid, but she’s standing here claiming Alexa gave up on their friendship. First of all, this was initially instigated by Nikki. Second of all, she did nothing but trash Alexa’s boyfriend(?) when Alexa was nothing but kind to her after Nikki was a douche. She was confused so she gave Alexa an ultimatum, and now she’s pissy cuz Alexa chose him. This is toxic, I honestly have no sympathy for Nikki.

“I’m going to beat the Fiend out of Alexa Bliss” that’s... that’s not how this works... alright well you’re a shitty friend so, anyway.

Alexa slaps the back of Nikki’s hands and claims she won. I fucking can’t, she’s such a treat.

Lol Alexa’s just laughing at her.

My first introduction to Alexa was her as a master manipulator. Not a damn thing has changed.

Alexa has lost her god damn mind rofl.

*Bonus* online exclusive: victim Nikki, everyone. Why wasn’t this on Raw? Jesus they fill Raw with so many garbage replays while meaningful interviews to fill plot holes are put online. Dumb.

Lacey’s really running around calling Peyton “PeyPey” good lord.

I mean she’s right, Peyton was the weakest link. Just saying.

“10 sizes too big” shot at Uncle Melted Cheese.

I fucking love how Lacey pronounces “opportun-tit-ies” lmao. I thought it was an accident at first but honestly it’s great.

They have zero chemistry in the ring but at least they’re fun outside of it.

Highlight: I know I say Alexa every single week but shrug it’s Alexa

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NXT:

Alright Ember’s theme is wearing on me. She just has awesome theme songs.

Indi is really pretty and I love how she does her hair.

All nxt heels are the same; cowardly run from fights, slow methodical wrestling in the ring, recruiting muscle optional. It’s tired. At least be a good promo. Dakota is a good promo. She’s buyable. Actually where’s Dakota, I wanna see Dakota wrestle. No more Candice.

Holy shit that fall away slam onto Candice. Fucking THREW her ass across the ring. Whew everyone wave bye to Candice.

The setup to that step up senton by Candice was way too obvious.

Candice is too whiny.

Ah just as I’m beginning to get bored, Dakota comes out. It’s like nxt knows me.

Haha KO correcting Vic being a bad commentator.

See Candice isn’t even a bad wrestler, her style as heel just fucking blows.

Peeped that call by Ember.

Such a stupid setup to have Indi push Candice out of the way to take an Eclipse herself. It’s not like jumping in front of a bus. There was time. Whatever. I hate Candice matches 9 times out of 10 so there’s that lol.

...so is Toni a heel yet??? I’m guessing they’re going for “badass loner babyface-leaning tweener” for Ember, but Toni is not a tweener. She could’ve been, alas she is not.

Haha Toni is funny. Good, let her be heel. Maybe she’ll show some personality.

Alright but hear me out, what if we had a War Games team without Candice???

You did say we’d see a whole new side of you, Toni. Been waiting to see it though.

Wait back up, didn’t Toni attack Candice after their match recently?? Okay anyway.

“Rhea Ripley/Io Shirai? Doesn’t get any bigger than that.” True Rhea, now move up to the main roster plz.

Oh man Io’s basement dropkick fucking nailed Rhea in the face lol, oof.

“Where do I go from here?” TO THE MAIN ROSTER.

I don’t hate the tank and I don’t hate the idea of wearing a helmet, but those horns are super pointless.

Shotzi “pyromaniac” Blackheart. Stealing one of Alexa’s gimmicks.

It’s gonna be Shotzi, Io, Rhea and Ember, right? Who else would it be??

Rhea says she’s there to stay. Ma’am I stg if I have to wait til after wm to see you on the MR...

Me: super invested in Rhea cutting a fantastic promo and seeing how far she’s progressed as a well-rounded talent; Candice: “lol fuck you”

I hate Candice. I will fill this review with vitriol for Candice, I don’t care.

How... how did Io “steal” any victories from Candice? What help did she have? Is it drugs? Is Candice on drugs?? Candice you haven’t even held the title, shut the fuck up. Also all of y’all can sit down cuz only one woman on that entire brand has had a singles match at wm.

Oh shit they laid Io out. That’s a yikes.

In kf, the only threat to Rhea on that entire team is Toni.

I mean sure 4 people was way too much for Rhea to handle, but man they let her look pretty fucking good. The way she immediately slid out to give Raquel the high boot was smart as hell.

Dakota looks good. She gets style points.

Soooo Xia gets acting points, but what in the fuck is going on with her and Boa’s story...

Why do I have to see or hear Candice again? Jesus lord.

There’s someone else masked? *sigh* I don’t care, goodbye.

Highlight: Rhea’s promo that Candice ruined

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NXT UK:

I enjoy watching neither of these women wrestle, but at least Jinny’s persona is appealing and she has solid character work. She’s easy to dislike, so she gets heel-potential points.

Did they say Isla’s mentor is Nikki Cross? That’s... interesting...

So is this match gonna be interrupted by Piper? Probably not.

“This is an aggressive Isla Dawn,” well hey, maybe she actually started working on her stamina.

Jinny is vicious lmao.

Probably Isla’s best showing tbh.

I hate it when people jump off the top turnbuckle and then break into a slow, clunky roll, just to stand up and act as if their knee is tweaked. It’s so messy to me. Be smoother or don’t aimlessly jump off the turnbuckle.

Whole lotta yelling in the match.

Really don’t give a shit about a future Jinny/Piper match but okay.

Highlight: Jinny comes off as a vicious bitch, so that’s nice

---

Smackdown:

Oh snap Bianca’s graphic has some real potential.

Ayyyeeee it’s Captain Bayley. We starting our Bianca/Bayley feud?

oof Nattie straight outsmarted Bianca as the vet, there. Bianca friggin speared that ringpost.

“I think I did the world a favor, we got to see Bianca Belair shine,” she’s not wrong, Bianca was absolutely my mvp from SvS. In hindsight speaking from current day, Bayley really set up Bianca to be the upcoming star of this division, starting with SvS.

Oh snap did Bianca just call Nattie a bitch? How dare she, that’s Nattie’s only patented insult!

“You don’t want to get counted out again,” lmfao Bayley’s so annoying.

pppffffftttt Bayley inadvertently getting her ass whooped tonight.

Yeah somehow this is all Cole’s fault lol.

No, stop, no more “them” promos. Bayley cut this promo literally a year prior, we don’t need to hear it from Carmella, too. Besides, she was never necessarily a fan favorite that the crowd gradually turned against like Bayley was. It’s different.

WHAT SHOTS ARE YOU CALLING?? Is this about Reggie? Has he even appeared on screen yet?

Lmao Sasha beating her ass. Good for her. Looking good while she does it, too. Sasha in shiny silver... whew.

The wwe shop ad with the Riott Squad was worth a mention. They entertain me and they deserve tag titles. Not sure why wwe is still dragging their feet, but commit to them already, damn it.

Highlight: Bianca/Bayley seeds being planted

---

*Smackdown shined the brightest this week. Short, simple, straight to the point. Left me wanting to throw on next week’s episode, which no other show accomplished.

#wwe #issa review #feel free to ignore these #cuz who tf cares lesbihonest #today's props goes to:#bayley

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