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livelikebrent · 6 years

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Stop 6: Buffalo, NY

Today would’ve been our 3 year anniversary. I typically don’t crank out a blog post in only one day right after the trip and would want to take more time to write...especially since I have so much to write about for this post. But I felt that I needed to do something today for Brent. I look at the number 3 and think, “Jeez it’s been that long?” but I also look at it and think, “That all happened in a blink of an eye.” On my last trip up in Syracuse when Amanda (a different one than the Amanda I went to Buffalo with) and I had been on a walk, she told me that she was sad that I had such little time with Brent. It’s true but at the same time when I look back at our relationship I like to think that maybe it was me that he needed and not necessarily the other way around. There was a reason I met him at the time that I did and it was me that was with him through all of the wonderful ups and excruciating downs. As odd as it sounds, I’m glad it was me that could be there for him. Our relationship wasn’t normal by any means. But the first half of it was and I wouldn’t trade any part of it for anything.

I went back to New York again for another stop. But I will say each of these trips to the Empire State are drastically different from one to the next. Amanda picked me up from my apartment at 6:15am on Saturday morning. We made the trip up to Wilkes-Barre to scoop up her boyfriend who was Brent’s old roommate, Greg. Then we drove to New Columbia, PA to meet Amanda’s parents, Mike and Barbara, at a Holiday Inn to jump into their truck and finish the drive to Buffalo, New York.

The drive was long. Like 5+ hours long. But it was scenic and completely worth it. I got to know Amanda’s parents who are hysterical and remind me of my sister-in-law’s parents quite a bit. They are super nice, conversational and have many stories to tell. I’m not sure if this is a Sweet family hidden talent or what...but I’ve learned that Amanda and her parents do this trick where they balance a piece of food on their left hand and pop it up into their mouth by hitting said hand with their right one. Amanda first did this in my apartment with a goldfish and I thought it was the best thing ever until Mike did without a problem during a our trip up.

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That laughter in that video! I feel like that’s all I heard this weekend and it was absolute music to my ears. Buffalo had been added to my list of places to visit for Brent because of the Bills Mafia. (If you click on any links in this blog post click this one on the Bills Mafia and watch a short documentary on the fans.) Amanda was literally one of the only Buffalo Bills fans I knew (aside from Danny which I only found out a few months ago!) and Brent and I knew she attended games often. Over the last year or so, the Bills Mafia, received a little more street credit and attention. They are apparently some of the wildest fans in the NFL and Brent and I really wanted to experience a tailgate with the Mafia. We wanted to go not necessarily to part-take in the mess they create but honestly just to witness the pure and utter mayhem of the tailgate. When Brent was undergoing treatment at Memorial Sloan Kettering Amanda and Greg would come and visit us on weekends up in New York at the Hope Lodge.They also came to see him when he was in North Jersey just outside of the city. Many football games were watched with friends over those weekends. College game day on Saturdays and then Sunday football the next. Amanda at one point promised Brent that as soon as he was better, she would get him to a Bills game with her family so he could participate in a true Buffalo tailgate. A couple of months ago Amanda asked if I still wanted to go to a game for Brent. The answer was obviously yes and I’m so glad we were able to make it work. Brent would’ve LOVED the entire weekend.

Amanda and her parents are die hard Buffalo Bills fans. Mr. and Mrs. Sweet are high school sweethearts that grew up outside of Buffalo in a town called Dansville and they’ve been attending Bills’ tailgates for over 40 years together. Honestly, I’ve learned that being a Bills fan is serious business and there are traditions and routines that take place for game weekends. Such as wings and beers. We arrived in Western New York around 2pm and went straight to Duff’s for said wings and beers. Typically, the Sweets head to Anchor Bar for this but wanted to switch it up this time around. So we stopped at the original Duff’s location in Amherst, New York. If you are unfamiliar with these two spots like I was, the Anchor Bar and Duff’s is to Buffalo as Pat’s and Geno’s cheesesteaks is to Philadelphia...even though Dalessandro’s is where the best cheesesteak is at.

These “before” and “after” photos do NOT do any justice to the damage we did. Out of the 50 wings, the 5 of us consumed almost 40 of a them, a large order of fries and more than 2 pitchers of Labatt Blue Light. Oh and some veggies and dip. It was all so good. Also, I feel as though people don’t refer to them as “buffalo wings” anymore and just “wings.” I will admit it wasn’t until I got home Sunday evening that I put two and two together. I mean, do you honestly say “buffalo sauce” or “buffalo wings”? Or do you say “hot sauce” or just “Frank’s.” But anyway, Amanda sent me a brief history on buffalo wings which you can read here.

After we had our fill, we went to check-in at Hotel at the Lafayette. Which is an old hotel in the city of Buffalo that is apparently haunted and has it’s own brewery. We got settled, freshened up and had a couple of beers before roaming about the city for the night. Traditionally, the Sweets would drive to Niagara Falls the day before the game, stay the night, wake-up and drive to Buffalo to tailgate. But recently, they’ve started exploring Buffalo and staying more local. I also think it’s safe to say after the weekend we had, they will probably continue to stay in Buffalo.

We walked out and it was a chilly 30something degrees. It is definitely winter already in Buffalo which wasn’t a surprise as I had been watching their weather the entire week leading up to the trip. It was very dark out and one of the first bars we saw was called, “The Cowboy.” As we started walking closer we couldn’t tell if it was going to be a bar, strip club, or an actual whole in the wall. We peered into the windows and it was dark and empty but I insisted that we went in. There wasn’t ONE patron in sight. The bartender, Kaleigh, in her glitter eye shadow and pajama pants who was 20 was the only one there. It was a dark bar, with cowboy hats as lamp shades on the bulbs above the bar rail, a couple of naked cowgirls painted on the walls (who I will leave out of this for the time being) and barrels around poles which served as high tops near the dance floor. We ordered some beers, fireball, hung out, played with hoola hoops and enjoyed having the place to ourselves for the time being.

After we finished our drinks we continued down Chippewa Street which seemed to have the most activity and night life on it. Mike asked me about my name so I explained where it came from and then he asked if I had any siblings and what their names were. I laugh when people ask me that because I know exactly what they’re expecting. If my name is a uncommon Gaelic name, ‘Aisling’ and pronounced as ‘Ashleen’, my sibling must have some off the wall name as well. So I looked at Mike and said, “Yes! I have a brother. His name is Christopher.” He laughed and asked me my middle and last name. He immediately loved my middle name, Coyne, which was my maternal grandmother’s maiden name. Mike didn’t call me anything but Coyne for the rest of the trip.

We were crossing the street when out of the corner of my eye I saw D’Arcey McGee’s ... immediately Amanda’s Dad wanted to go in. It was a cool Irish bar that resembled a Tir Na Nog or Kildare’s but just not a chain. There was a lot of dark wood work going on, wooden booths, arches and shelving throughout along with typical “vintage” Guinness ads and artwork. But as soon as we walked in there, AGAIN there wasn’t ONE patron in sight. Just Brianne, the bartender. We couldn’t get over it. WHERE WAS EVERYONE?! Then we soon realized it was only 5:30pm on a Saturday night. We ordered our beers and Amanda decided to test the bar tender by requesting an espresso martini. We all somewhat scoffed at Amanda and her order and Brianne definitely took her time with it. That made Amanda even more skeptical of the bartender. But after a while and a couple of eye rolls from Amanda, she finally got her drink and it turned out to be a really good martini. We hopped off our bar stools and checked out the rest of the space...which was huge. There was a pool table and dart board around the corner. So we posted up an played a couple games of pool.

Mike started saying, “Coyne this! Coyne that!” This is where all of a sudden Greg got this look of excitment in his eyes and got on this tangent to Amanda that if they ever have a son he’s being named Coyne Quinn. He said, “WHAT A RING THAT HAS TO IT. COYNE QUINN, AMANDA!” He then continued, “Just imagine. Coyne Quinn as a quarterback for Penn State football. He would be on highlights on ESPN and with every amazing complete pass they would play the Mario Brother’s sound effect of when they punch a box and a coin would come out. THERE’S COYNE QUINN GOING DEEP. DING. AND THE THROW. DING. IT’S GOING LONG. DING. COMPLETION. DING. ANOTHER ONE. DING. A TOUCHDOWN. DING. DING. DING.” Amanda rolled her eyes and told Greg their children would be playing tennis. “No contact sports, Greg. I don’t wanT our children getting concussed. Tennis. Golf. Volleyball. No contact sports!” After Greg returned an eye roll back at her, Amanda and I joined in on a game of pool and Mike showed off his skills.

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I'm honestly not very good at pool but would like to be. Side note: If anyone could teach me, I would greatly appreciate it! Mike's only tip and instruction he gave to me the entire game was to “Level your stick and close your mouth.” We played a few games and then decided to find another bar and perhaps something to eat. As we walked down the street again we came across a place called Taphouse Pub & Grill. It was a standard bar but had a decent draft list and at least had patrons in it. I tried a local beer from a brewery called Rusty Chain and it was some sort of red ale, I believe. It was a smaller bar with a couple of tables but plenty of stools at the bar. They had several televisions for the games that were on along with Impracticable Jokers which I learned Mike hates. We hung out and chatted. The bar had a small popcorn machine in the corner by the front entrance. The first time I had ever saw that was in Delaware. I had no idea that popcorn machines were a thing at bars. But apparently it is in Buffalo as well. We got some popcorn and we did the obvious...the Sweet Family Trick. Barbara popped a couple into her mouth. I watched the Sweets do it over and over again. It did take me two or three tries, but was so excited to have done it.

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After our drinks we decided that we wanted more ambiance or a livelier atmosphere. We then found a place right across the street called Local Kitchen & Beer Bar. The place was buzzing and had the most life in it than any other establishment we had been in at that point. I ordered a local cider, Greg ordered a Genesee and also got some apps for everyone to share. We talked about Brent. Correction, we talked about Brent a lot. Greg was there the night Brent was placed on the ventilator and I feel so terrible about it. Brent and I bought concert tickets for my old roommate’s birthday. Brent had wanted me to go to the concert that Friday night. I asked Greg if he would be able to visit with Brent that night and that I would be at the hospital bright and early the following morning. I just didn’t want him to be alone even if he slept the whole time. It would just be nice if he rolled over and realized he wasn’t alone. I received a call at 9:30pm from Greg that night that something was happening and the doctors wanted to put Brent on a ventilator. Every time I see Greg I feel the need to apologize that he had to be there for that and see Brent go through what he did. Greg always tells me he was so glad he could be there for Brent whether or not he knew he was in the room with him. I’ve relived those last 10 hours of Brent’s life that I spent with him and his family probably 100 times over and it was absolutely, heartbreakingly tragic. I wouldn’t want anyone to ever have to witness anything remotely close to what we saw, felt, talked about and experienced that night into the morning. Greg and Brent went to the same high school in Wilkes-Barre but actually didn’t know one another then. They met at West Virginia University when one Greg was visiting one of Brent’s college roommates, Brett! They didn’t really start hanging out until Greg moved to Philadelphia and Brent got out of the hospital for his first go around with cancer.

A couple of years ago when I had just started dating Brent, Greg moved in with him in Brent’s apartment in East Falls. It turns out Greg had started dating Amanda shortly before Brent and myself. After a year or so of dating, Greg and Amanda moved into a place together which ended up being across the street from my current apartment! Brent and I love Greg and Amanda and we always stood them up. It was awful. Something would always come up or it would be something with Brent’s health when we had dinner plans scheduled. We always felt so guilty. The first time I ever met Amanda was at my first Carve 4 Cancer. I vividly remember standing by the raffle table and I felt somebody holding me by my arm saying, “Wait, are you Aisling?” I hardly knew anyone there at that point and just met a couple dozen of Brent’s friends from home. By the way, that happened ALL of the time. Brent would introduce me to friends and it was never a one off. I always felt like I met 15 to 50 friends at one time. So if I ever forget your name, please accept this apology. As I looked at this girl, I nervously shook my head up and down and she introduced herself as Greg’s girlfriend, Amanda. We’ve been in touch and became friends with Amanda ever since. I refer to her as Lasagna Amanda a lot but mainly to my family. When Brent had passed she showed up to my apartment with a handwritten letter, a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a homemade lasagna. Greg made fun of her and forewarned me about her cooking via group text. But she did a wonderful job. I’m grateful for these two and the support they’ve given Brent and myself over the last year and a half and their friendship for the last three years. After Greg and I wrapped up our pow-wow and dried some tears we asked the “Catch me outside” doppleganger twins to our left to take our photo.

We were just about ready to make our way back to the hotel as we had another early and action packed day ahead of us. But on the walk back I suggested that we stop by The Cowboy to see it in all it’s glory for a nightcap. Welp, said nightcap turned into an extended stay...simply just to dance.

We walked back in and thankfully there was a crowd but maybe only two people on the dance floor. You would’ve thought that bar had been waiting for us to come back to bring the life of the party, Barbara. We tore up the dance floor, the young boys were all over Amanda’s mom, we became best friends with the DJ with our song requests, more people left their bar stools to join the dance floor, and a bartender (not Kaleigh and her sparkly eye shadow) came out and got a line dance going. The next day the line dancing was all Amanda could talk about and how much she loved it along with the stomping and clapping. NOTE TO GREG: BUY YOUR GIRLFRIEND SOME FLOWERS AND TAKE HER LINE DANCING. We all let our hair down, even Mike! We created a little bit of a scene and let’s just say the dance floor was sad to see us go at the end of the night.

We grabbed a slice on the way back to the hotel and called it a night. Well, kind of. Fast forward a couple of hours later. I found myself standing outside of the hotel room I was staying in with Amanda and Greg in the middle of the night. Then I remember being downstairs trying to communicate with the front desk. Then I found myself back on the third floor knocking on our door when I came to and fully woke up. In my pajamas. In the hallway. Without any shoes on. And for some reason I wasn’t all that embarrassed. I went back downstairs and had a fully conscious conversation and apologized to the front desk but also laughing at the fact that I had just been sleepwalking/talking to them. They chuckled and the manager asked me if I was okay at this point (because I was babbling less than five minutes ago) and called my room, 320. But of course. Nobody picked up the phone. I continued to apologize as I stood there in a pair of Brent’s Nike sweatpants and a highlighter yellow Milwaukee Carve 4 Cancer t-shirt. I then tell them that Mike Sweet booked the rooms and is staying at the hotel with his wife, Barbara, but didn’t know his room number offhand. After the manager gave me a questioning look and found their room number, he called up. He told them, “There is a girl down here that wants to come up to your room.” I told the manager to say my name since his phone call made me sound so shady and I was afraid Barbara would tell him she wasn’t expecting anyone. The manager told me I could go up and told me their room number. Barbara was in the hallway on the phone with Amanda. “Is Aisling in your room, Amanda?” “Of course she is mom! She’s out here on the...Oh no.” As I ran down the hallway, I apologized and explained what had happened and was sorry for scaring anyone. Then I found my way back into my room with Amanda laughing hysterically at me at 2:30 in the morning.

Fast forward 4.5 hours later. The three of us got showered, geared up and met up with Amanda’s parents for a quick breakfast before making our way to the tailgate. I explained again what had happened only a couple of hours earlier to Mike. The weird part about it was they were JUST telling me stories about Amanda’s dad sleepwalking the day before. I haven’t done that in years. But we then packed up the car and headed to the grocery store for ingredients for “beef on weck” and then went to the tailgate. Beef on weck is a Western New York sandwich found primarily in Western New York State. It is made with roast beef on a kimmelweck roll (a roll with salt and caraway seeds on top). The meat on the sandwich is traditionally served rare, thin cut, with the top bun getting a dip au jus and spread with horseradish. AND IT’S DELISH. We got to the tailgate for 9:30am. But let me tell you...they don’t go to a parking lot outside of New Era Field or anything like that. They park in somebody’s backyard. YUP. There is a line of houses across the street from the stadium that has tailgating and parking there for the Buffalo Bills’ entire season and it’s wild.

Pictured above is the house where the Sweets always tailgate. Once you get to the garage there at the end of the driveway you veer to the right and there is a giant Bills mural on the side of the wall and a yard where cars just line up and hang out. Also, the answer to the question you’re thinking is no...they don’t personally know the owner of the house. Ha.

If I could have I would have slapped a #LiveLikeBrent sticker on this wall. We grabbed a drink and then went for a walk through a tailgate lot across the street. The weather was perfect for a mid-November football game. It definitely felt like a November day with grey skies and the crisp air. But it wasn’t that chilly...especially for being in Buffalo. A couple of the Sweets’ family friends have a truck that they have tricked out and serve drinks out of. So we went over and I was in awe of this what looked like a Tastykake truck turned Bills mancave bar. We hopped on up and into the back of the truck and there were shots lined up on the bar, a bar tender, and fixings for bloody Marys. Barbara, Greg and I ordered a couple of bloodies. Brent and I always ordered bloody Marys any chance we got. We’ve had quite the array in the last few years to say the least ranging from bloodies topped with a stout, bloodies with crab meat, shrimp, you name it, we’ve probably had it. The one topped with a stout was from the Field House in Philadelphia which was surprisingly our favorite bloody we’d ever had but...never would I ever thought I would say this but the one I had this weekend was hands down the new best bloody Mary I’ve ever had. It blew Field House’s out of the water. I wish I asked what the spices were in the mix because I couldn’t figure it out. All Greg and I kept saying was, “THIS IS SO GOOD. THIS IS THE BEST BLOODY MARY EVER. OH MY GOD.” In addition to the drink, there was a ball of fresh mozzarella, olive, pearled onion, chunk of pepperoni, celery stick and then a slice of bacon all to garnish and they were all rolled in something like parmesan. But in all seriousness it was exactly what we needed that morning. A Bud Light just wasn’t sounding all that appetizing at that hour. But who knew that I’d find my favorite bloody Mary at a Buffalo Bills tailgate?

We left the mancave tailgate and made our way to the tailgate lots at the stadium. Apparently there is this guy named “Pinto Ron” and if you watched the Bills Mafia video I told you to watch earlier in this post you would know who he is by now! But he is a Buffalo Bills fan that is known for attending every single Bills game (home AND away) and for hosting tailgate parties since 1994. Now that’s quite the commitment. I can’t get some people to commit to something 2 or 3 weeks out mind you this guys commits to entire NFL seasons. We didn’t find Pinto Ron but did find a lot of other...things. I initially imagined a Buffalo Bills tailgate as an extremely bad Wal-Mart crowd. Like really bad. But we didn’t run into anything too extreme or savage. It was still only 10:30 in the morning mind you.

After circling a couple of lots and swimming through a sea of Bills fans, we made our way back to our backyard tailgate. Mike was cooking the meat for beef on weck. It was really, really good. Honestly...it’s all in the bun and because Mike was wearing his sick Bills sweatshirt that he referred to as his P. Diddy hoodie.

After we ate we started to pack up camp. It was almost 12noon and kickoff was for 1pm against the Saints. As we got ready and started making our way back over, Greg and I were determined to witness some Bills Mafia mayhem. At this point they’ve had a couple hours of day drinking in them and must have been getting into a mess at that point. We’ve watched videos of guys throwing guys off of trucks on top of tables, throwing their girlfriends to smash tables and just being straight up wild. I kept telling Greg I was going to throw him through a table.

It turns out we were a minute too late. We saw probably close to a dozen broken tables, articles of clothing, and a sea of LaBatt beer cars everywhere all over the lot. Oh and these kids bonging beers out of a mannequin and yes, the guy holding back puke is wearing an OJ Simpson Bills jersey. To be quite frank, if Brent had been there he probably would’ve asked to chug a beer out of that mannequin.

By the way, Greg was totally in his element at this point. Periodically, I would look up at him and he would be grinning from ear to ear. I mean, the whole thing was ridiculous how wild everyone there was as a part of the Bills Mafia. As we were walking, I was waiting to hear Greg say, “We need to stay here.” Or “Let’s keep going up and down the rows a few more minutes.” He looked like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. But it was almost 1pm so we made our way over to the stadium.

The Sweets have really awesome (or should I say...”sweet”) season tickets on the club level. What’s neat about New Era Field is that when you enter, you’re on the ground level but the field is below you. So they not only built up but down into the ground. Why? Lake Erie. Lake Erie is RIGHT there and Lake Ontario isn’t all that far either so you can get these incredible winds ripping through right off of the water and it would be too much to be sitting that high and getting blasted. I thought that was pretty interesting though.

The Bills were up for a little by 3 points. But let’s just say that was pretty short lived. But it was still fun to be there. I had been to a NFL game when I was pretty young and barely remember it so I considered this my first time at one. I thoroughly enjoyed it even if the Bills didn’t win. We left during the third quarter since we had over 6 hours of driving ahead of us and there was no chance the Bills were going to bounce back. With that being said, yes we did miss the streaker. While the Bills didn’t seem that alive on the field, the Bills Mafia sure as hell was.

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We hopped in the truck and made our way southbound. Considering we had such nice seats and were on club level, I didn’t find the right spot to place a #LiveLikeBrent sticker in Buffalo. But I bought a t-shirt for one of Brent’s best friends in Philadelphia and only other Bills fan I know, Dan. As we were standing in the tailgate lot earlier in the day, a guy was walking around selling t-shirts and I felt if Brent were there he would’ve bought it since it had the steal your face logo on it. So I asked Greg and Amanda to take a photo with the sticker. I trust that one time Amanda will come across the perfect spot for one.

Thank you to The Sweets and Greg for your hospitality and for such a fun weekend. I haven’t laughed that much in 24 hours in a very long time. I loved my first time in Buffalo and Brent would’ve as well. You are some of the best people and I’m thankful to have you in my life here in Philadelphia.

Photo/Video Credit: Greg Quinn, Amanda Sweet, Bills Mafia, & Catch Me Outside Girl

#LiveLikeBrent #Carve 4 Cancer #C4C #Buffalo #Buffalo Bills #Bills Mafia #Duff's #Anchor Bar #D'Arcey McGee's #The Cowboy #Taphouse Pub & Grill #Local Kitchen & Beer Bar

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