#at this moment will I write fexi? idk man (damn do i sound narcissistic)

[fexicoded]

just saw your recent post. the grief is hard and i feel the same way. i could just be carrying on with my day but i get reminded that he’s gone and all the anger, sadness, and guilt rushes in.

while i never knew him personally and i am a fan of his, i would like to think that he would want everyone to remember him in his happiest moments. that brings me comfort. it’s easier said than done but i believe we can eventually get to a point where we can celebrate his life and art. we can keep his legacy alive by talking about him in every context. i just hope he and his family find peace in all of this.

(this was also me venting too lol sorry)

I really appreciate you responding to my post, I was not expecting anyone to cause I was venting in the tags but I've always loved having anons in my inbox in general but also helping us all during this awful time.

But yea, I agree with you. I'll be going about my normal fucking day and doing what I need to do to move forward in my life and then have it hit me that this guy that impacted me, even tho I didn't know him, died and I'll never get to see him make an impact or grow from the pains he was dealing with at the moment.

And I do agree, he would be so fucking pissed we were being sappy and sad all the time and a bit embarrassed and yet geeked at the outpouring of love for him. I do feel like I can say I'm happy to have gotten to the point in my grieving that I've accepted what's happened and yet I can't say I do accept it... grief over a celebrity is tough and the parasocial relationship doesn't help either.

TLDR: I'm still here, I still grieve Angus and will for a long time, and idk where I'm gonna go with this account, my writing, etc.

#will i find something to write fanfic about in the future? maybe (and this sounds so fucking self absorbed and making it all about me) #at this moment will I write fexi? idk man (damn do i sound narcissistic) #i wish i could i loved writing them but after my last fic i have had no inspo and was waiting for s3 to get new inspo #but god... life is a bitch #and it takes the wrong people at the wrong time leaving an absence in place #it fucking sucks #and the worst part is i didnt fucking know him #but i do know he really would appreciate everyone (the fans public etc) talking about how much they loved him and a bit embarrassed lol #so yea #that's what im feeling #but yea as ive said before if you ever wanna hit up my inbox to shoot the shit vent whatever do it