#and the worst part is i didnt fucking know him

[fexicoded]

just saw your recent post. the grief is hard and i feel the same way. i could just be carrying on with my day but i get reminded that he’s gone and all the anger, sadness, and guilt rushes in.

while i never knew him personally and i am a fan of his, i would like to think that he would want everyone to remember him in his happiest moments. that brings me comfort. it’s easier said than done but i believe we can eventually get to a point where we can celebrate his life and art. we can keep his legacy alive by talking about him in every context. i just hope he and his family find peace in all of this.

(this was also me venting too lol sorry)

I really appreciate you responding to my post, I was not expecting anyone to cause I was venting in the tags but I've always loved having anons in my inbox in general but also helping us all during this awful time.

But yea, I agree with you. I'll be going about my normal fucking day and doing what I need to do to move forward in my life and then have it hit me that this guy that impacted me, even tho I didn't know him, died and I'll never get to see him make an impact or grow from the pains he was dealing with at the moment.

And I do agree, he would be so fucking pissed we were being sappy and sad all the time and a bit embarrassed and yet geeked at the outpouring of love for him. I do feel like I can say I'm happy to have gotten to the point in my grieving that I've accepted what's happened and yet I can't say I do accept it... grief over a celebrity is tough and the parasocial relationship doesn't help either.

TLDR: I'm still here, I still grieve Angus and will for a long time, and idk where I'm gonna go with this account, my writing, etc.

#will i find something to write fanfic about in the future? maybe (and this sounds so fucking self absorbed and making it all about me) #at this moment will I write fexi? idk man (damn do i sound narcissistic) #i wish i could i loved writing them but after my last fic i have had no inspo and was waiting for s3 to get new inspo #but god... life is a bitch #and it takes the wrong people at the wrong time leaving an absence in place #it fucking sucks #and the worst part is i didnt fucking know him #but i do know he really would appreciate everyone (the fans public etc) talking about how much they loved him and a bit embarrassed lol #so yea #that's what im feeling #but yea as ive said before if you ever wanna hit up my inbox to shoot the shit vent whatever do it

[spursthatjinglejanglejingle]

Girl okay not only was it extremely racist to have Jacob's actor cut his hair but in what fucking world. In what galaxy. In what possible combination of the atoms that make up our universe does this not look better than his short hair. I'm a misogynist now because of Stephany Mayer what is wrong with you.

#I'm so pissed genuinely #i know i ranted about this in two different discord servers but i still needed to yell more i feel cheated #AND HE DIDNT WANT TO DO IT. IT WAS AN ACT OF RACISM. WHY WOULD YOU FORCE HIM TO DO IT??? WE ARE IN THE WORST TIMELINE. #🪼 #twilight is so fucking racist you guys were not kidding the trive they were based on didn't even get ROYALTIES??? WHAT????? #i feel bad fhat i watched part of the first movie now i need to donate to the tribe now to clense my sins

[mummer]

i know the fascism intrinsic to zionism is obviously apparent on the face of it but it is really illustrative of Something that it has my so-called liberal father posting links to fucking prageru videos trying to manufacture consent for the murder of palestinian children

#i seriously dont know what to fucking do anymore i feel so lost and bleak and cant go to anyone with it #one of the posts was so deeply disturbing i find it utterly unforgivable. one of the most truly depraved things ive ever read #hopeless fruitless pointless #i cant fight him but i cant just smile and wave. Whats my option here. Cage cage forever. #i dont think i can ever forgive this and the worst part is i cant forget it lol #when we first started fighting when i was in high school it was about zionism!!! that was pointless too #but when he said shitty things then i didnt have a record of what he was saying. i’ll have this screenshot forever #how am i supposed to talk to him tomorrow without sobbing. Lol. #i have to go blow my brains out #delete later. I guess

[todayisafridaynight]

chewing these until i explode and die

#snap chats #sorry i cant describe things normally im sleepy but anyway #NO they made a tweet showing off all the funeral merch and theres some shit here i didnt see last time #the mine one's a part of. a postcard book ?? i think ?? #this the only one that ate from that ... to me anyway.... #i just really like how they chose a similar shot of him esp with how drastic the lighting differs and the camera angles #not even MENTIONING how the top scene is. from the orphanage bulldozing LMAOOOO #its art to me in ways i refuse to elaborate on ...... ok but the AOKI ONE THO LEMME GET INTO IT #what the fuck is an acrylic block i dont know but anyway .... theyre foul for the shots they chose <- screaming kicking my feet #it makes me want to make a proper gif set of aoki using those shots now .... and a mine set with Those Shots ... #im just sayin they def had a tumblr girlie on the team ... it just reminds me of gif sets on here ... im stealing their ideas idc #aoki's scene with his head held high at presumably the highest point of his life #to contrast how dreary masato's shot is. Shot Lol Get It on the worst night of his life with his dead drooped kmsing right now #AND WHEN THEY BOTH POINT THEIR GUNS AT THE CAMERA... SCREAMS ... #like the other merch didnt Give like these did ok ... is it my bias No Im Totally Objective.. i want these as gif sets .... #i was gonna put nishitani's here too since they ALMOST did something cool too #they had the top of his being when hes sittin in the grand with his arms spread out #and i THOUGHT the bottom one would be when he's Getting Lit Up and his arms were spread but no .. #its that scene but ... they didnt show off that part ... just him looking back at majima ... #love how they chose the most bbg still of aoki dying for the egg merch meanwhile mine's is just. Rage #they cant go with the same wet cat shot of him tho i get it ... they used it twice for merch fjerLKVAKVJE #anyways im typing way too much about these i gotta go BYE

[around-your-throat]

PLEASE POST THE FANTROLL

erm.. what the heck ...

#the worst part is i didnt/dont even know anything about him so i dont know what his name would be 😭 #i think rhyann is a real name but its very mackeyleigh core. not even gonna touch the ross part #do notttt ask me about classpect i never knew them in the first place and they are so beyond flushed out of the system #*throws dart at cork board* fucking uhhh heir of doom. sure. doomed from the start looking ass #do your relationships go down in flames and your passion project curses all who touches it? you might be the embodiment of doom #my art

[bitegore]

God i need to listen to more Ice Cube

#for some reason i had him mentally conflated with. fucking vanilla ice #oh well. i know better now lmfao #red rambles #the worst part is ive been listening to nwa on and off since high school #i just didnt know ice cube was part of them

[comradecowplant]

so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.

#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS #youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao #i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol #to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting #she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3 #anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel #THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now #telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this #so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly #turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly* #shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds... #but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that #also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to #so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings #gender into conversations that it does not belong in #'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks #she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america... #girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!! #i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine #ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘

[silverislander]

so after the prof cancelling like 8 classes in old english, losing quizzes and assignments and grades, never making expectations clear, barely explaining what he was teaching, etc, we didn't complete all of the things on the syllabus and i don't think i can. calculate my grade going into the exam?

there's supposed to have been 9 quizzes with the lowest mark of that 9 dropped; at my best count there was 6 and i have no idea if we can still expect that lowest drop

there was supposed to be two tests and no exam, but i suppose the exam is the second test bc having an exam was his plan from the start and the dept wouldn't allow it so he's doing it via loophole + we did do one test already

we completed 2 translations as expected but i won't have the second one returned before the final exam is due, so no idea how i did on that since i felt ok abt the first one and only got a 50

i also don't have my essay back, which was like 20% and the only thing i've felt confident abt all semester

multiple quizzes and assignments were returned with random numbers on them with no indication of what they were out of (i was given a quiz back with "12" written on the top? 12 out of what? 12%?)

can't find half of the quizzes- i don't think i even have them. i have 1, 3 and 6. we were emailed some of the marks, so they might be in my inbox somewhere? but i don't have the physical quizzes and can't use them to review or like. learn from them

also the prof is out of province rn i think. this is the third time this semester. so i can't meet w him to check up on this

like i need a 65 average in every course to stay in honours, if this course fucked it all up for me i'll lose it i really will. i THINK i'm over that but i have no fucking clue. and not to catastrophize but if i don't get a 65 i can't do my essay next semester and everything is completely set up for me to go do that already, and ofc then i won't graduate in spring and won't get the degree i worked my ass off and paid a fucking exorbitant amt of money for that i am almost finished. i hate this fucking school man

#its a miracle im even passing. i shouldnt be i dont know shit #but it genuinely is not my fault this prof is the worst #hes ancient so he barely makes it to class (he hasnt been on time once all semester) and hes sick all the time #he can barely hear us talk and keeps losing and forgetting crucial shit for class #almost every time he cancelled class it was last minute and i mean within an hour of class starting. i was already in the building #he doesnt really teach so much as say shit and then act confused when we dont understand immediately #he Stated that he knew we wouldnt understand basic grammar bc we werent taught it. which is true and was said kindly #and then acted surprised when we didnt fucking know what a preposition is or the difference between that and a conjunction #hes also just. super boring. but thats just me i can see how he would be fascinating to someone else #and thats the worst part hes not even a terrible guy hes just a bad prof. hes nice hes just absolutely clueless #he literally gave us each a different translation of beowulf from his own collection for a project and let us keep them #shame i cant fucking read it! bc its in old english! and i still cant read old english! #its way beyond time for him to retire but he just. wont fuckin leave apparently #levi.txt #i couldve taken middle ages and the movies. middle ages and the movies gets to write a screenplay as a final assignment #middle ages and the movies gets to go watch the green knight and is taught by a prof i think is really cool #but noooo intro to old english is the only medieval studies req that fit into my schedule bc i live in a fucking hell dimension

[exghul]

Why did the author kill you off?

SOMEBODY HAD TO DIE. sorry, kid. really, honestly, i'm sorry. someone had to die, for one reason or another, and you drew the short straw this time around. this wasn't a matter of surprise. no, your death wasn't meant to be a shock, wasn't meant to rattle the audience to their core. your life was a debt, an obligation. somebody had to go, because the story needed weight, needed sacrifice, needed the conflict to have consequences. maybe you had the perfect balance of "emotional impact" and "lack of loose ends", or maybe the author just didn't know what else to do with you. regardless... you deserved better. another writer could have given you more time and a better death, if even a death at all. at least your fans will never forget- at least they will forge their own stories, tales in which you live to see another day.

absolutely yoinked off @hexsreality ♥ yoink it from me if u please :3

#⊰ ℜ ⊱ ┊ i see the truth through crimson eyes. ┊ DAMIAN WAYNE: CORE. #i knew the result before i even finished it #didnt know what the results COULD be but i knew it would immediately point the finger at m.orrison's bULLSHIT #literally a quote from the man: “[m]y plan was to kill d.amian at the end of the four-part story where he was introduced!” #then goes on to explain the only reason behind it was to “keep away from accusations” that he “made batman too old” #bman has been around since the 40s #in the 90s we had bman beyond. where bruce's an old man. #its ok! to have plots where hes older! and has children! #you dont have to kill off his son bc ur afraid of the fans #hell j.ason died because of a POLL to kill him off #dami was killed bc m.orrison was too selfish to let anyone else write his character #that HE BUTCHERED! BY HIMSELF! #his last words were 'we were the best r.ichard' & the last thing he sees is d.ick's face #which is. the best part of his characterization in the entire run #thanks to g.leason (iirc) for reviving my son a fucking /year/ later #tl;dr bman inc is the worst timeline but unfortunately its the basis for all of his current continuity #i forgot what else i had to sayt #if u read this rant ty & m.orrison doesnt deserve to write dami ever again or touch al ghul lore WHATSOEVER

[basslinegrave]

the weirdest cinematic parallels

#weird that it happened twice and both were released same year i wonder how they were cooking this #also ks version is unshippable cuz ryoto is like 15 so fuck that. he was also annoying as fuck but kannei was cool #and if anything him being a protective/guardian figure for ryoto is enough #though theres a scene with grown up ryoto somewhere without anyone else so idk. but i havent been able to find it idk when its shown!! #i even did fanart and i dont know. wild #had two screenshots but i made myself watch both of those scenes to get more. torture on the dw part #anyway lucky bastard ks kannei cuz ryoto didnt die. dw... im sorry ling tong you fr lost everything #dynasty warriors #koutetsu sangokushi #sweeping the cobwebs from the tags and then puts in the worst post

[shadyhouse]

i think the worst part of all of this shit in my life rn is that they didnt give me enough notice for anything so i had no other choice but to just Quit my job without notice. but that means i can never go back to work in any store in any location bc its their policy or whatever. so i don't have a job to go back to at all

#like. i dont know whether im an idiot for all this or if i really had a chance at it #i do terribly on phones what was i thinking. if not today i wouldve gotten fired at some other point #like a good trusted friend has worked there for 2 years its a legit company its just. EXTREMELY fucking picky i guess. #the second worst part is that the instructor asked me what name i preferred to go by bc i was trying to ask him ALL DAY what to do about my #legal name. and he didnt get to me until 6 hours later exactly the monent he learned that my computer didnt have enough ram #so fucking dumb like dude you cant wait TWO WEEKS out of the FOUR WEEKS OF TRAINING for me to get a new computer #is this company really going to onboard like. Every single fucking person like do all the paperwork and everything #just to immediately fire them if they have ONE THING MISSING on day one #im actually so mad about this like. are you serious. are you for real. #'apply again in 30 days. goodbye' ?!?!? what are you TALKING ABOUT what am i going to be doing 30 days from now. i quit my job to do this

[vaugarde]

team plasma arc is still looking like my favorite arc overall bc N has consistently been very good but yikes the last few parts of best wishes really kinda start to fall apart

#i think i still like it a lot but i feel like the writing gets... dumber? #like every episode in this team plasma arc that hasnt had team plasma themselves orN is only Just There feels very weird #one thing i noticed is that iris and cilan keep speaking at the exact same time #and it gives me the vibe of ''oh god we arent secure in these characters anymore so we're gonna reel it in'' #and this is a problem throughout bw ofc but yeah ash somehow gets even dumber and its just frustrating to watch #especially with sarah's really bland performance. #i think its also that team rocket is more common again and they just fill up screentime #and they arent even funny so its like i cant even laugh #echoed voice #pokeani lb #and overall the writing just feels more. juvenile? idk if thats the right word bc this is a kids show and all #but it feels a lot more dumbed down. which is weird bc the team plasma arc when it is going is kinda fucked up #iris and cilan also simutanously have less to do and they feel flanderized? like i mentioned iris before but cilans gone back to being borin #maybe thats why i didnt care for him as a kid bc my final impression of him was the declore islands incarnation #idk i feel like the worst aspects of bw are really starting to come out here bc they just didnt know what they wanted to do #like charizard comes back next episode and from what i remember it barely even does anything besides.... be fanservice to OS really #even tho they get rid of seismic toss which was part of why it was so iconic so why did they bother with that even

[orcelito]

🧍

Well.

#speculation nation #hfkshfksbcj uhhhhmmm #just heard my neighbors getting in a Huge fight #the loud one who always yells a lot of course yelling in anger #but someone else yelling back about how everyone who loves him is Afraid of him #both men. and then the woman yelling at him to shut the Fuck up #a bunch of slams of doors. then the very clear sound of a car starting and wheels squealing on the road as he drives away #like. god Damn. quite the fight to have at nearly 1 am. #honestly tho the 2nd guy was so right. like. Ouch. even just knowing them secondhand like. wow. #the worst part of all of this is that there are 2 kids in that household :( #i didnt hear them so they thankfully dont seem involved in this fight. but i could Clearly hear the fight from my apartment #it was probably loud enough to wake them up. the poor kids... #idk it's so weird to hear all this secondhand. #OH RIGHT the 'because everyone who loves you is afraid of you' was in response to the first guy goint #'why do you think id kill anyone!?" and it was there i was like. 'ohhhhh fuck.' #me just chilling about to go to bed and then. that. sounds like theyre not having a very good saturday night thats for sure.

[todayisafridaynight]

Its SO upsetting how often the bad guys don't get to have a lasting turnaround. You see it with random side characters, but c'mon guys. Just let them go to prison for a little while and have them come back. I promise you do not have to kill a character off, or base the character off a real life person, thus narrowing their chances of a return even thinner, while building up the possibility of a comeback. This franchise has cursed me with such lovable characters I'll never see again, and my heart can't keep at it like this.

I'm gonna have to just take that suddenly-dropped-off-a-cliff-storyline into my own hands. Gotta pick up all the slack. They're too good at giving tender, heart wrenching moments to characters we'll never see again. Way too good.

Not sure if you know the streamer Crystal, but her reaction to the ending of 3 was the most extreme I've ever seen. She was full on breakdown sobbing, and even the chat was asking if she was okay. RGG look at the hearts you're breaking out here 🙃 Also, your posts about Mine and that ending are beautiful, and you could talk about it a million times. It'll never get old.

the most egregious- pardon the pun- execution of this trope in rgg games is aoki's death.

like legitimately, his death did not need to happen. the past antagonists you could make a decent point for why their deaths were justified (ryuji's probably being the goofiest ngl) but aoki's felt as though rgg was just checking off a to-do list.

i don't really watch rgg content creators, but if someone could send me a clip of that i'd be down to watch: always a fan of watching people be emo over Y3's ending

and speaking of, thank you i have strong enough mental illness that all i can do is talk about that scene over and over again :)

#snap chats #the worst part is im only partially joking about being mentally ill #like i just think of that one directioner fan being a super fan until they took medication and then they were normal #pretty sure if i did the same I Too would have shut up four months ago but to our benefit/dismay medicine's hard to get so <3 #i am simply a dog chasing its tail and by that i mean i will simply talk about mine and y3's ending until i die #or until my mental illness latches onto something else idk #but yeah it sucks dick how rgg does so many great and emotional scenes #but like. we never get to fully see that pay off with characters like mine or aoki #like i want to see them have to face the consequences of their actions- ESPECIALLY mine #mine makes me the most deranged Obviously but i just want to know how daigo would react and treat him #we only get a semblance of how daigo felt after Y3 via the rggo story but its not enough #i want daigo to be upset with mine i want mine to HAVE to work things through with daigo #because unfortunately i dont think daigo would just cut mine off i think he still would try to figure out what the fuck was going on #idk i just need something to happen to mine that crushes him and has him rethink his ways a bit #'crushes' yk like. something beside the pavement--- #i wouldnt want him to totally change tho. i like him deranged but just channel that deranged behavior to their benefit #brb thinking about mine saying he wouldnt be acting up if daigo didnt get shot again jesus christ i think of that line every day #OK I HAVE TO GO DO A COMM RN ACTUALLY I'LL BE MENTALLY ILL LATER BYYYE FEEL FREE TO SEND ASKS AND ENABLE ME

[alphalesbian]

.

#................................................................................................................................. #so another update on my skin i guess . . . #about a week in and its basically everywhere on my chest and terribly on my back and legs and butt : - ( worst its gotten so far is itchy as #all hell on my side but thankfully so far thats really it....... ive maybe been tired n had a sore ish throat like when i first felt it but #not really anymore.... now its just my skin looking. awful lol everywhere #but....... i found out about this skin thing that looks Exactly The Same As Mine Looks Right Now and that ! was a major relief considering ! #its not a serious skin thing and my symptoms almost entirely align with the process so far ! ! ! #as much as i am still skeptical im just. i dont know that helped a lot i guess. everything else id found n been thinking it could be were #oretty serious things for the most part which honestly raqcking my brain about that for the past week uh #probably wasnt the best mental health decision to make OTL............... #still gonna go up the mountain for some cheap blood work tommorow..... then back to urgent care on wed/thurs to really make sure its nothing #serious which will also immediately improve my headspace regardless so. thats good too #and the help from my best friend . . . . . . . . . i am so so lucky to have him he is literally so special. i was right at the bottom and he #didnt even hesistate . crazy how that can feel so nice and hurt so much at the same time #hurt really from just honestly how immensely empty i was and how much i really needed that support #still though absolutely heated from. the initial situation and how my main support just kinda fucked off in response lmao! but #all that greif and sadness and ugly crying aside today has been a mostly good day in comparison. let alone finding out something it could #absolutely very well be and its Not Super Serious Necessarily and Pretty Common all things considered #is a big plus. . . . a lot to think about and a lot to do as always just really really gotta keep my head on my shoulders . . . . . . . . . #okay and honestly all that aside ladies it looks. so crazy. i really actually maybe am gonna take pictures of this to really document it nd #even if its a serious thing its like. so crazy looking #feels pretty ridiculous dont get me wrong it literally feels like my skin is fucked up where its raised n swollen but the pattern is #idk medically fascinating to me i guess is the best way to say it lol #how would that be for my first selfie in like 4 years teehee 😌 anyways enough of my ranting but in case anyones interested here ya go . . .

[gayfrasier]

just got my schedule for the new year and guess what!! I'm missing a class!!! yipee!!!!

#as in i am enrolled in 6 classes instead of 7. as in i do not have a class to be in during the middle of the day. #SIGH. worst part is i got an email about it last wednesday but i DIDNT SEE IT because who the FUCK checks their school email #IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER? LIKE. SORRY I GUESS. #im gonna see if i can talk to him during the event tomorrow because i currently dont know what lunch i have and its killing me