#bc every psych I've ever seen has had 0 difficulty identifying me as autistic very quickly

[cruelsister-moved2]

wait realisation so I rode a lot as a kid and my parents will always bring up how I was like really brave because whenever I'd fall off I'd not react at all and just want to get right back on my horse and the riding instructor never knew what to do because any other kid would be crying and not want to get back on probably for the rest of the lesson (I mean literally like age 4/5super young) even though I was an extremely shy and anxious child who was always like missing school bc I was too scared to go in etc. and its always brought up in a complimentary way about like wow youve always been so strong and level headed and brave and the idea that I get really anxious about psychological stuff but am normally eally cool in an actual crisis BUT I just realised omg. that was autism 😭😭😭😭😭

#like I'm still I guess proud of that abt me bc autism=/=a flaw #just always so quirky when I rmbr my childhood and am like so why was I not diagnosed until adulthood... #I'm still weird now but I was just so much weirder then when I think back its like I was so weird. #and everyone was 100%aware of how weird I was and comments are made abt it all the time #its just that no one ever thought to like look for a reason rusoskjsjdhd #and if any1 read my post this morning abt the diagnosis gap like #those figures aligned w me so strongly #bc every psych I've ever seen has had 0 difficulty identifying me as autistic very quickly #whereas like despite the fact I ALWAYS had issues in school not one of my teachers ever even considered the possibility #not just of autism but any kind of learning difficulty #and I just know that if I was a boy some behaving the exact same way would've been flagged during school no question #it's not just abt the fact I was masking like. I was 5 I wasn't that good at it